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| Dan Abnormal's Journal 20 most recent posts |
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i don't want to talk about it. which, of course, means i'll talk about it shortly. but before i procrastinate further, has anyone seen 13 conversations about one thing? i rewatched it about a week ago, and i was horrified that i began to identify with alan arkin's character. i guess it could be worse. i could've identified with matthew mcconaughey's. 1 comment | post a comment
rock on. i am staying in a motel tomorrow night. in charlottesville. for like $60. and it's close enough to UVA that you can walk the distance. OK, so it might take half an hour, but i could do that in lieu of going to the gym. not too shabby. should be fun. strange that earlier in the week, all the motels seemed to be booked up because of the game, but while making reservations tonight, i actually had a choice: a suite with a queen-size bed and a fold-out couch, or a room with two double beds. i chose the former. i'm not entirely sure why, but it just seemed like the savvier selection. my first big-boy road trip by myself. this is rather exciting. or at least it was rather exciting until i discussed the excitement with blake on IM. here's a snippet of the conversation. me: i feel very adulty. now i'm just scared. but i'll end on an upbeat note. you should check out
i hate writing listy journal entries because i feel like it's cheating, like i should make the effort to connect everything in an epic narrative story. however, i'm going to cheat tonight, because i want to write about some things that have been on my mind lately, and i am far too tired to get all tolkien with the plot threads. so here they are. • i was offered a full-time job at the capital. i declined it. they weren't going to give me a raise; they were going to keep me on the same hourly wage and simply give me 40 hours a week instead of 27. plus, it would be on nightside, which would mean working 3-11 p.m. on weekdays. i make more per hour at my other job, and i'd probably have to give that up to accept the full-time newspaper gig. i like having two part-time jobs because my work schedule is, for the most part, pretty flexible and undemanding. plus, i'd rather be writing, and i think it would be easier to transition over to editorial if i was only working part-time in advertising. perhaps it would be easier to move out sooner had i accepted the job, but when have i ever made anything easy for myself? i'm thinking long-term here. i just hope long-term is the right way to think. • there are a couple brendan benson songs i've been listening to over and over at work. one is "jet lag," and the other is "alternative to love." good stuff. maybe i'll post the lyrics in here sometime soon. • cute boy in editorial spoke to me today. he said "hey," but it was a bathroom situation; he was leaving as i was entering, and we kind of startled each other in opening the door. so maybe it was an obligatory "hey." you know, it just sort of slipped out. like i could've been hitler, and he still would've said "hey." regardless, i'm feeling more comfortable at work, so i mentioned to honey, suzanne, suzie and amanda about how i've been trying to figure out if he's gay or not. i suggested they use their wily womanly ways to find out for me. hell, i could remind tina she was supposed to find out for me about a month ago, but i think i haven't because i fear that she would tell me he is gay, and then, like, the pressure would be on. but i would probably still admire him from afar. it's pretty ridiculous. steph told me today that i've been acting like a teenage girl lately. i think i just proved her right. (actually, i never denied it.) i wonder if cute boy will ever find out i've devoted significant chunks of my journal to him. seriously. • i am going to virginia in two days to see the rufus wainwright show at UVA with blake, but i'm still working out acommodations. because of a home football game at the university, all the charlottesville motels are completely booked. i have several alternatives. i could A) sleep in the empty bed in blake's dorm room that belonged to a roommate who recently moved out, B) bring my air mattress and sleep somewhere on the floor of blake's dorm room, C) attempt to procure a motel room somewhere else, or D) do the three-hour drive back to maryland after the show. D) is out of the question. because of too many reasons to list, i am leaning towards C). which means, of course, i'll end up with A) or B). • my parents are going away for a few days at the end of october. i'm not sure if i should have a halloween party. i think i was invited to a halloween party not long ago, and i think i accepted because i think i would really like to go, but i'm not completely sure when that party is or if the invitation still stands or whatever. but i will hopefully engage in some sort of halloween-partying by the end of october. it might be fun. • in closing, i'd like to poll the two or three people who read this journal. if a guy has a personal ad somewhere, and he says he's interested in meeting "men and women" for "friendship and dating," what exactly does that mean? 2 comments | post a comment
saturday is weigh-in day, and i got some inspiring news this morning: after three weeks, i'm down 12 lbs., so if i just lose another nine, i'll be at my lowest weight since high school. this pleases me. thus, i decided to celebrate by skipping the gym and accompanying zofie to hampdenfest 2003, where i knew i'd get a pretty decent workout by just walking around and/or running from the scary mulleted drunks. the festival wasn't much to write home about. in fact, i'd say the ride there was more festivious than the destination. (but isn't that always the case?) en route, we listened to abba's greatest hits, which was fun until we got to "waterloo," a song that has not been the same for me since a late-night game of "top my perverse secret!" at the newspaper office circa 1999 ended with a coworker admitting she got buttfucked while said tune blared from her stereo. she won. for those interested, i placed last. actually, i don't even think i competed. we didn't peruse many of the festival booths, instead sticking to the junk shops and art galleries along hampden's main drag. then we people-watched for a bit. kinda uneventful. there weren't even any scary mulleted drunks to chase us. so we decided to burn calories by taking a several-block sidetrack to a yoga center. we kinda got lost while trying to find it, which was pretty exciting. but i'm not sure if it's because getting lost was genuinely exciting, or if getting lost was merely exciting by default when compared to the rest of the festivities. oh, but a funny thing happened on the way to the car. this really good-looking guy walked in front of us as we were rounding a corner, and i quickly IDed him as steve, a friend from baltimore who i've chatted with since june but never met, despite planning to once or twice. my immediate reaction was to grab him by the shoulder and say hello. my second reaction was to get intensely insecure and keep my damn mouth shut. predictably, my second reaction unnerved my first reaction. if only i had some mentos. i could've popped one in my mouth, instantly attained confidence, and madeout with him right next to the sponge bob moonbounce. hey, that would be a really funny commercial. post a comment
let me bring you up to speed. saturday night, i went out for dinner and conversation with steph. when i returned home, mom met me at the door. in lieu of a greeting, she said, "so, how's your love life?" i was quite stunned, but not floored. mom asks me if i have a girlfriend every year or so, and i usually tell her i don't have time for such things. so i think i let out a "huh?", and then mom got a bit more precise: "i mean, how's your love life compared to six months ago?" technically, the answer would be "still non-existant." even so, in that instant, i felt as though my stomach had suddenly dropped into my intestines. apparently, while i was gone, she got on the computer to up her credit card debt at amazon. she must've "accidentally" closed my away message somehow, making it appear as though i was at the keyboard. understandably, several friends IMed me, under the impression i was available, and one of them mentioned my "love life compared to six months ago." she saw it. she asked me about it. it was very strange. she wouldn't tell me what exactly was said, or even what screenname it came from. she claims she doesn't remember. i played it off. i told her it was probably a friend just dicking around. but i figure the person who IMed me probably looks at this journal at least periodically, as it's linked from my IM profile. so if you're out there, please come forward and let me know what you said. i'm not mad. i promise. i just want to know what she saw so i can decide where to go from there. and really, i might not even need to go anywhere from there. i mean, the subject was kind of just dropped after a rather tense weekend. but maybe i was making it tense. maybe she's totally clueless. or maybe she knows and she's just waiting on me to tell her without any prodding. maybe she'll throw me out of the house when she finds out, or, if i'm already out of the house (please, god, soon!), maybe she'll cut me off and pretend she doesn't have a son. or maybe she'll be OK with it. actually, sometimes i think that she already suspects and she will be OK with it, and that i'm making this whole situation worse than it has any right to be. but then i'll hear my mom and dad discuss church friends of theirs, and she'll say something like, "did he go before the men of the congregation and repent?" and i'll think, "well, OK, maybe not." speaking of stormy weather, there's a hurricane coming this way sometime tomorrow. if it knocks out power during survivor: pearl islands, i'm not going to be very pleasant to be around. post a comment
rollerskating rinks are interesting places. i went to one tonight for the first time since, i think, a circa-fifth-grade birthday party. and lemme tell ya, between 1989 and now, a lot has changed. brigitta threw herself a little gathering at this rink in columbia to celebrate her 27th year. she subtitled the event "obsession with regression." i don't like to skate (wheels are meant for cars, not feet). but i do love brigitta, and any chance to hang out with my buddies from the old-school retriever weekly crew is guaranteed to be a good time. in other words, brigitta isn't the only one obsessing with regressing. i arrived, paid the $6 entry fee, declined the skate rental (which got me a strange, "are-you-sure-you're-not-here-to-pick-up-t luckily, jen promptly saw me from the rink and skated over. then various other familiar faces rolled up: brigitta, david, casey, karen, ian, leah. i was actually the only one there not skating. but everyone was great about making sure there was usually at least one pal to sit on the sideline benches with at all times. and when there wasn't, i just hung with the sundry parental supervision. some friendly moms and dads there. i joined a book club. it was pretty alarming watching the young'uns skate. more often than not, they'd start grinding to the music, wriggling their osh kosh b'gosh-sized hips around in an attempt to look "hip" and "sexy." it'd have been sort of perversely funny if it didn't attain such a high jon-benet level of creepiness. but other than the dance moves, the kids seemed to have OK taste. they all clamored into the rink when the DJ began playing beyonce's "crazy in love," then appeared to flee in horror when the follow-up turned out to be hilary duff. i'm sorry, and i know i'm not exactly poor hil's target audience, but have you seen her album cover? it looks like an overly-touched-up high school yearbook photo with the glittery turqoise background that set her parents back $8 extra. the shit on there can't be good. i rest my case. we ended up leaving the rink shortly after the duff debacle because one of the referees accosted brigitta's old college roommate adrienne about her "inappropriate" outfit. the upper part of her chest was exposed or something. whatever. they didn't seem to mind the 11- and 12-year-olds who were dressed like rollergirl from boogie nights. so we went to a cozy little pub nearby, where the conversation was merry, the appetizers were decent, and, most importantly, the amaretto sours were $3.20. sahweeeeeeet. quote of the day: upon hearing a horrid performance of chris isaak's "wicked game" come from the bar area. i just got back from my training with susan (AKA xena, warrior gymnast), and boy, are my legs/arms/"abs"/back/chest tired! ba dum dum. it was pretty crazy, being that i've never experienced a full-fledged gym workout before. i was really self-conscious at first, walking from machine to machine in my green security jacket and track pants while all these buff young studs strutted around in muscle shirts and spandex bicycle shorts high-fiving each other. and xena starting me off on 30 lbs. of resistance didn't really help me look like i knew what i was doing. but somewhere around my two reps on the tricep pull, i stopped caring. i was sweating and grunting and having a pretty damn good time. in other words, the endorphins kicked in. i feel tired. very tired. but also very pleased with myself. it's bound to not last long. for some reason, my boss at the publishing firm thinks i'm cat- and housesitting for him and his wife for three weeks in january while they go on a cruise to the bahamas. ¿qué? i'm not sure when i agreed to this, and that's mostly because i'm not sure i did. it seems i made the unfortunate mistake of discussing last month's cat- and housesitting (mis)adventures at john and zofie's in front of him, and now he thinks i'm housesitter extraordinaire. now, the shitty thing is how i feel like i kinda have to do this, since he did me a good by letting me stay on part-time at the firm and keep my benefits when i got the new job at the newspaper at the beginning of the summer. however, on the plus, his house is in crofton, so it's close enough that i won't have to "live" there while they're gone. (and they don't have a DVD player, so why would i want to "live" there while they're gone?) and he's got money, so i might make a bit for the 2004 moving fund if i impress them enough. speaking of impressions, i got the invitation to my cousin's wedding yesterday. as expected, it was one RSVP for my parents and me together. but i was a little surprised that i'm not allowed to bring a guest. whatever. lame. but all the groomsmen are going to wear kilts, so the ceremony should be visually intriguing at the very least. and it'll probably be the closest thing to a taste of scotland i'll get in the near future. and speaking of the near future, tomorrow i have a 6:30 i got the living piss scared out of me this morning when i got to work. my boss informed me my mother had just called for me, and that she sounded very upset. i rang back, and before i could even say "hello," she just started sobbing. like, really sobbing. sobbing like i haven't experienced since she and my dad got into this huge fight circa 1998, and she cried so hard she threw up taco bell all over the kitchen table. my first thought was that my grandfather had died. he's been through multiple bypass surgeries and diabetes complications, and lately he's undergone all kinds of stress related to the plight of my chemically-imbalanced uncle, who recently pulled a machete on him and my grandmother. but that's a whole other journal entry. i chewed on that scenario for about three seconds as my mom continued to gurgle, and that's when the second thought hit me: she found out ... she knows. and it's a little funny, because i was almost relieved. granted, it was pseudo-reluctant relief with a side order of "i might be looking for an apartment sooner than i thought," but it definitely cleared my sinuses and inspired a big old mental phew. and then she found the words that were eluding her, and she explained to me in very halting phrases she'd just gotten in a bit of a tiff with one of her daycare moms. but it's probably not fair to her to leave it at that. she was in another tiff with another daycare mom last week. and this morning, before i left the house for work, she was already pissed because she'd just learned that all my dad's siblings went in on some diamond pendant for their mother's 80th birthday last week, and once again my black-sheep pops was left out of the loop. so it was very likely everything put together that made my mom do her own little cover of linkin park's "one step closer." i felt weird, placated but strangely disappointed. like i had just been kicked in the nuts while receiving a really nice back rub. the range of emotions i went through in all of 90 seconds kind of left me stunned, so when my mom quieted down, i didn't know what to say. besides "stop crying," of course. we hung up shortly thereafter, and i went back to my desk and began looking at the apartment-rental ads. just in case. today i ventured south to reston, virginia, where i met dan for the second time inside of a week. the plan was to catch a matinee of freddy vs. jason together. we had to resort to this covert, cloak-and-dagger business, you see, because the lot of our respective movie-snob friends would turn their noses at us. viewing a movie we know will be a total groaner before we even plunk down the inflated matinee-admission fee -- what were we thinking? (to be fair, when it came time to buy my ticket, i did feel slightly embarassed asking the matronly box office attendant for "one for freddy vs. jason, please.") however, the whole total-groaner aspect of freddy vs. jason is, i think, exactly why we wanted to see it. like how i have to stop on syndicated full house reruns if i pass by one while channel-surfing. kinda the same thing. of course, the afternoon got off to an inauspicious start when i underestimated sunday-afternoon beltway traffic and arrived in reston 29 minutes after the scheduled rendezvous time. and then, once we got in the theater, i made a seating faux pas that i thought might be faux pas-ier to attempt to rectify. (it actually reminded me of this time i went to see joe's apartment in high school with aaron mills and his brother, and aaron said we had to sit in the theater with a seat in between each of us. his rationale: "would be all sit on one couch together if the living room had other furniture in it? no.") so i felt pretty stupid. until, at least, the movie out-studpided me. like, OK. i know, it's freddy vs. jason, not the grapes of wrath. but it wasn't even really freddy vs. jason either. for the better part of an hour, it was more like nubile teen detectives and the case of the monster-movie mishmash. once freddy and jason finally got around to pounding the shit out of each other, the movie had a goofy kind of entertainment value. plus, it was worth six bucks just to see kelly rowland get slammed against a tree. her life was stole, and now we'll never know. but the last shot of the movie was a total cop-out. grrrr(oan). after the movie, we visited harris teeter, which somehow wasn't as cool as i remember it from february. then we went to best buy, where i picked up the new BT album and dan talked me out of buying jack frost 2: revenge of the mutant killer snowman on DVD. i complied, i guess because the day was only big enough for one bad horror movie. finally, we ended up at a nice little mexican restaurant that had the fastest service i've ever seen. we're talking entrees-seven-minutes-tops-after-we-orde warning: if you see dan, approach him immediately and make him tell you about the time he left two bags of vomit in the backyard for several months. funniest. fucking. story. ever. quote of the day: "i dunno. were you done looking for teets?" dan, after i asked if we should continue teetering at harris teeter. here are the top ten reasons i've been too busy to really update my freaking journal in the past two weeks. 10. because i've been finishing the first season of angel on DVD. it took me memorial day through independence day to get through the first four seasons of buffy. that's four seasons. not bad at all. for some reason, i started angel back in late july, then got sidetracked. now that the second season is available at fine stores everywhere, i figured i'd better kick it up a notch. 9. because this picture of ryan makes me laugh until i pass out. 8. because i was celebrating chip and riechen winning the amazing race. yeah, right on. it's about time that someone i like and was rooting for from the beginning wins one of these damn reality shows. 7. because of the crazy-ass storms knocking out power and shit. i can't take the blame for all of this. some of it belongs to god and/or mother nature, because all the downed trees made electricity kinda inconsistent here in central anne arundel county. 6. because i recently discovered the sheer joy of queer eye for the straight guy. how did i just stumble onto this show? it's terrific. when it ends, i'm left with a big smile on my face and the urge to redecorate my room in sassy but complimentary color schemes. also, i wanna do kyan and ted. and sometimes jai. thom and carson can watch and make catty remarks about my technique. 5. because i finally fucking joined a gym. oh yes. i've been wanting to do this for so long. i saw a flyer in the newspaper lunchroom about a six-months-for-$99(-*not-including-the-$2 4. because i've been really wondering about cute boy in editorial. i need better gaydar. or just gaydar in general. because i get all kinds of vibes from this kid. short of walking up to his desk, grabbing him by the collar of his well-fitted blue dress shirt and planting one on him, i may never know where his loyalty lies. and since that scenario is only ever going to happen in my head, i think i'll be wondering for a long while. 3. because moving has been on my mind. everyday at work, i grab a newspaper from the press stack to peruse as i eat my lunch. i used to go straight to the crossword puzzle. lately, i've been hitting the classifieds first. i'm torn. i can't decide if i should focus on the roommate-wanted ads or try to round up friends to go in on a townhouse or apartment with me. i'm leaning towards the latter, but my pals are all settled, on the verge of settling or not in a situation where they can move out right now. ideally, i want my own apartment. i've never been off on my own, and for some reason, that's an incredibly appealing scenario. unfortunately, it's not a incredibly realistic one considering my income. shazbot. i'll figure something out. i kinda have to. 2. because my new friends wouldn't let me. yay for new friends, especially gay ones. i've met a few online in the past couple weeks. there's brian, the art student from upper marlboro, maryland, and darin, the concert enthusiast from minneapolis, minnesota. (god, i feel like julie chen.) and darin actually has the distinct honor of being the first friend i made through friendster. (go, darin! go, darin! it's your birthday!) and then there's dan, who i actually met in the sense of being in his physical presence, which was nice, because too often i feel like these gay guys are along the lines of mythological creatures. (have i used that line before? i forget.) anyways, the whole meeting-dan thing probably warrants its own separate journal entry, so i kind of feel bad that i'm shoehorning it into this one. but dan is truly the anti-bum-out, and hanging out with him was worth the acrobatics my stomach did during the 45 minutes in which he convinced me to hang out. so there. 1. because ... just because. i'm sure there's a good ultimate reason with which to explain my absentee journaling. true to form, i just can't think of it right now. i need to write about stupid shit right now. then, and only then, will i be inspired and primed to start revisiting the various peculiarities of the entry-less past week. so ... let's see. stupid shit. i watched the finale of boy meets boy with my mother this evening. it must've been a revelatory experience for her. by the end of the episode, she'd completely stopped flinching, gagging and averting her eyes from the TV screen everytime she saw two men kiss. i'm so proud of my mom! i hear GLAAD is gonna honor her at their next banquet! wow. that was actually fun. i should do this more often. quote of the day: "homo wasn't built in a day." origin unknown. i should be watching the amazing race finale right now, but i'm taping it. i need to catch up on the episodes from the past two weeks first. i'm a sucker for continuity. this morning at the newspaper, i accompanied honey outside for a cigarette. (i actually just watch as she smokes and get my fix from her fumes.) on the way back in, while rounding a corner, i nearly walked right into cute boy from editorial. we exchanged looks once again, just like in the bathroom a few weeks ago, only this time ... oh, this time i felt something. technically, i'm not sure what it was. i guess it could've been my carnation instant breakfast settling inappropriately. but i don't think so. it lasted only for a few brief seconds, but my whole body just kind of felt turned on, especially one particular area deep inside my chest. and you know what that means? well, it probably means he's straight. or gay and in a long-term relationship with a really terrific guy. or gay and thoroughly repulsed by me. definitely one of those choices. maybe all of the above. if, that is, you could be straight and gay at the same time (like anne heche). perhaps you've noticed it's the end of an era. i decided today to no longer title my journal entries with questions. it was cute while it lasted. but i think i've missed out on some clever entry titles by limiting myself to only questions. and questions were really limiting. (yes, i put actual thought into this kind of shit. no wonder i never get anything important done.) the publishing firm was sheer ick today. i had to endure a three-hour conference call with a client who insisted on reading me the corrections to her company newsletter, then second-guessing the corrections and asking me to undo them, then changing her mind and having me redo them, then telling me to read the new sentence back to her and input my thoughts. very argh-inducing. thank goodness for instant messenger. patrick did his best to distract me with a story about unintentionally answering the door in his underwear, which, now that i think about it, was even more frustrating than the newsletter corrections. and michael ... well, michael was michael, which is always distracting and always a good thing. speaking of michael, somebody remind me to tell him i thought of the perfect song to underscore the moment-of-truth scene in the screenplay we're tinkering with: "desire" by ryan adams (of course). and speaking of music, "where is the love" was not, much to my delight and surprise, on VH1 this morning while i was wriggling into my jeans. instead, it was santana and michelle branch's "game of love," which is almost as wretched. tomorrow, it's going to be jewel's "intuition" or that shania twain video that reminds me of björk's "violently happy" in a really bad way. just you watch. let's give it up for deb. six months after registering here on blurty, she finally wrote a journal entry. i believe this is a sign of the apocalypse. (not unlike gigli.) this is actually very exciting, because regularly updating her journal might keep deb closer to home. according to her IM away message, she's been at happy hour for two days now. i obviously need to schedule an intervention. my mom called tonight from my grandparents' house to check in. i wonder if she knows i'm gay. i go back and forth. sometimes, i don't see how she can't realize it. other times, i feel like she knows, but that she just chooses to ignore it because it would be too difficult for her to deal with. and then there are moments when i think she is truly clueless, such as when i mentioned that steph and i saw boy meets boy last night, she said i "shouldn't watch programs like that." so who knows? today didn't quite go as planned. perhaps tomorrow will be better. and a great start to it would be VH1 not playing that fucking black eyed peas song "where is the love" as i'm getting ready for work. we shall see. work was frustrating today. just me and tina fighting our way through an ad load meant for six people. everyone else was out on vacation or personal time. however, the privacy allowed me to do something i would've never done had our full staff been there: i took the opportunity to ask tina about the cute boy over in editorial. a few weeks ago, cute boy and i exchanged glances in the men's room, which left me intrigued but rather puzzled since my gaydar is under new warranty. and since tina has a lot of, um, "office information" (her husband works in editorial, so she gets the gossip from both sides of the newspaper), i figured she'd be the one to ask. i prefaced my question by telling her i didn't mean to be inappropriate, to which she replied, "not at all." she said she wasn't sure since cute boy had been working there only slightly longer than me. she then proceeded to ask me about coming out, about religion and why i can't tell my parents, and about what it's like to be 25 and only just figuring all this out. i believe the word i used to summarize it was "frustrating." steph and i went out tonight. i had to pick up chicago at circuit city, and while i was there, i found the murderous-snowman flick jack frost on DVD for $6.99. the rape-by-carrot-nose scene is worth that much alone. it's the little things, you know? so that really made my day. we got home just in time for big brother. and then i remembered that tuesday nights are when boy meets boy is on, so we watched that. it figures that: A) that sean guy, who several friends have said looks like me, actually does sort of look like me; B) i became extremely taken with sean over the course of the episode; C) sean was eliminated from the show at the end of the episode; and D) sean turned out to be straight. it's no wonder i stink at this gay thing. quote of the day: "here's a quote: FUCK YOU!" steph, in response to my assertion that she gave me so many terrific quotes over the course of the evening, i'd forgotten them all. note to self: when making the seven-layer dip, please remember to use salsa instead of picante sauce. you've done this three times now, you fucking cretin, and then you always wonder why the base starts to melt and the lettuce wilts and tastes all minty and shit. my folks are gone. they left last saturday, and they'll be back this saturday. i think this is the first time in several years that they've gone on vacation and i haven't taken the opportunity to throw a "huge" party. (and by "huge" i mean in conception, never in turnout.) i'd planned on having a late soiree for my 25th birthday at some point, but their departure/arrival schedule didn't leave me with much time to pull anything off. plus, i'm kind of not down with getting frustrated with people who don't show, or with wasting an obscene amount of hard-earned money on food and drink because of people who don't show. the last two or three parties i've thrown have been rather irritating. yeah. just generally disinterested in the merriment department right now. anyways. speaking of saturdays, i took saturday off. it was my first day off in 41 days of straight working. of course, i mostly just slacked around. but i did stop by john and zofie's to return their keys. they approved of my housesitting performance, which made me feel relieved. i was sure i'd somehow done a horrible job. (in other words, thank god they didn't use blacklight to check for bodily fluids on the hardwood floors!) i'm catching up on the movies. i viewed american wedding and charlie's angels: full throttle in the past few days. i enjoyed both. the former featured oodles of seann william scott, which is always a good thing. the latter, however, is essentially a big old T&A jigglefest, which sorta made me wish i was straight. and 12. (yeah, if i was straight and 12, this would've been the coolest movie ever made.) but everytime i started to feel even a smidge of guilt for not digging the whole scantily-clad-chick-thing, luke wilson or justin theroux would pop up, and i would instantly feel validated. so autumn has talked me into watching this show called totally gay on VH1, which apparently charts the homosexual community's permeation into pop culture since the early 1990s. sounds fascinating; really, it does. but i'm actually going to tune in to see our house's chad allen, who is one of the panelists. i didn't know he was gay. additionally, i thought who's the boss?'s danny pintauro had filled the decloseted-'80s-kiddie-actor quota. i love autumn. this is the kind of creativity that ensues when we talk. autumn: [afterschool special] jamie, being gay doesn't mean fucking or getting fucked up the ass. being gay is just you being who you were all along. [/afterschool special] i couldn't top it then, and i can't top it now. g'night. five people have now said i remind them of sean, a contestant on bravo's gay-dating show boy meets boy. not too shabby. i need to watch this show. so much for productivity. not long ago, i packed up my crap, left john and zofie's and returned home. i had actually intended on spending tonight, the last night of their vacation, at their townhouse, but my parents are having car trouble (again), so i was presented with two options: 1) stay at their townhouse, get up around 4 a.m., drive home, take my dad to work, return home, attempt to get another hour of sleep, get up, get ready and go to work; or 2) come home tonight and avoid the whole getting-up-at-4-a.m.-thing and get a somewhat decent night's sleep. i opted, of course, for 2). i'm rather excited to get a somewhat decent night's sleep. i can't say i've been doing very well with sleep this week. i think it's staying in someone else's house. even when they're great friends, there's this weird feeling of discomfort or displacement or whatever about being in their house when they're not. plus, the cats are rambunctious as hell when the lights go out. not used to that. the way they were racing about in the dark made me increasingly concerned they were boobytrapping the house, so i began waking up every 15 minutes or so to make sure there were no nails scattered across the floor or swinging paint cans tethered to the bannister. and that scenario is completely believable, too. cats are funny like that. you look at them and just know there is some sinister, mischevous shit going down in their heads. freaks me out. packing up and leaving was actually kind of sad and strange. as i stumbled out onto the front porch with several overnight bags slung over my shoulder, i began to feel like i was in a real world finale, except saying how much i learned about myself and what a changed man i am as a result of the experience would be somewhat ludicrous, seeing as how i pretty much spent the entire week hanging out with four cats. right now, i'm thinking, what a waste. i got nothing done during the week. didn't even start the great american trash novel. i'm crossing my fingers that i can get at least a few pages of garbage written next week. i'm at my house waiting on a load of laundry to dry before i make my way back to john and zofie's for the night. they left me some money for groceries and meals while i'm housesitting, and i feel rather dodgy for accepting, but i can't really talk because i just returned from spending some of it on fresh fruits (insert joke here) and vegetables. in line at the grocery store, i was very distracted by the cover of the new issue of teen people. hot damn. for a brief moment, i considered buying it, but then i remembered that henry david thoreau story in which he threw out a piece of limestone after he realized how much time he spent polishing it, and decided that it might be in my best interest to pass this one up. besides, i would've looked like an utter fool. watermelon ... beep. carrots ... beep. pineapple ... beep. teenybopper periodical with luscious shot of seann william scott on the cover ... oh, it won't scan? oh, you're going to ask the other cashier how much it is? oh, you're going to hold it up and wave it around so she can see which one you're talking about? oh, everyone is snickering behind my back? yeah. no. i had the right idea. in other news, kazaa finally finished my eagerly-awaited download of paula abdul's "vibeology" music video. you know, it's the simple things in life that put the biggest smiles on my face. like the girly ethusiasm with which paula squeals "horny horn!" and really, who needs seann william scott beefcake when i have that? and so the fun begins. not long ago, i arrived at john and zofie's townhouse in columbia, where i'll be housesitting and catspotting for the next week while john and zofie are at a family thing in north carolina. i want these days to be überproductive for me. i want to do a lot of thinking and reading and writing. you know, get started on the great american trash novel i know i'm destined to author. however, tonight will not be a good time to get the creative juices flowing. this i can tell from the overnight bag i hastily threw together before leaving my house about an hour ago. it contains the following: • lacrosse shorts i'm torn here. exercise and fresh air or cocktails and trashy television? these are the kind of problems i wanna have. |
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anxious
excited
determined
contemplative
frustrated
sleepy
naughty
okay
confused
worried
mellow
accomplished