Brosef's Blurty
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Brosef's Blurty:

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    Tuesday, December 28th, 2004
    8:22 pm
    Oh Snap
    I thought I would make one more entry in this so my last one isn't the previous angry one. Anger, however righteous it may be, is not a good note to go out on. Plus I'm not that angry about it anymore. I don't know how I feel really. My friends from school all tell me that I should just completely separate myself from it, but I can't. Not while I'm here. Last night I acted so weird. I was determined not to. I guess that made it worse.

    I love Ashley's home. I wish that it was somewhere I could go to hang out all the time. You can see the stars and eat mashed potatoes and noodles and try to frighten Sampson, the kitty with nerves of steel, there. Plus it's where Ashley lives.

    I feel like this break is going by far too quickly. I haven't seen a bunch of people yet, and a bunch of people are going home like next effing week. I keep having dreams that I'm back at school and I didn't do anything that I wanted to do over break.

    Christmas was very nice. I got a boatload of excellent stuff, including a pink mini Ipod (although I can't fit the effing headphones in my freakish ears), a new purse, America: The Book, and some new sunglasses via a gift certificate to Sunglass Hut.

    I can't figure out the Oh Snap password. I have six points, aka a female mullet at a rest stop and a soul patch at the movie theater.

    Phantom of the Opera is a fantastic movie. Gerard Butler is a hottie.

    I'm going to lose weight damnit.

    Josh Groban's favorite audience had me in it, aka the second concert I went to.

    Goodbye blurty.

    Current Mood: quixotic
    Current Music: "I've seen things, I've seen them with my eyes..."
    Sunday, November 28th, 2004
    7:50 pm
    Rant Alert
    I'll get the normal stuff out of the way. I had a wonderful time over break. I showered in my own shower and slept in my own bed, I ate good food, and I got to see my family. (PS Spongebob Squarepants Movie= Fantastic). It was amazing to see everyone. I can't wait for Christmas. I'm happy to be back though too. Once I go to Econ at 8:00 AM tomorrow I'm sure I'll change my tune. End normal stuff.

    I AM DONE. I'm finally done. I value honesty and trust above anything else in any relationship, be it friendship or romantic. Guess who lost my trust on both accounts? That's right. I'm done. I done justifying his actions to my friends at college. I'm done wondering if we'll ever get back together. I'm done dwelling on him. I'm fucking done. I cannnot believe him. It's not only the shady backhandedess. It's the fact that he lied to me about why we broke up. And HER of all the people in the world. At least they're happy now. They both got what they wanted. Damn it.

    I'm done. I'm through talking about this and thinking about this.

    I can't wait for semi-formal.

    Current Mood: pissed off
    Current Music: Drop It Like It's Hot
    Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
    7:18 pm
    It was so great to see everyone last night. I was so excited for it, and then once we were all together it seemed like we'd never been away. But then when I really think about it, I realize that although it might seem like nothing has changed, that's not true. All of us are different in some way. Things will never be exactly the way they were before August 15, 2004. Same thing at home. And at Benet. Especially at Benet. It was great to see all the kids and teachers from last year (especially Mr. Noel and Mr. Stracco and Mrs. Brown), but it was weird to see everything different. Benny is now huge. The Madrigals are different. The sophomores are juniors. Mr. Hourigan has been replaced by a creepy man. The principal has JELLY BEANS on his desk. Jelly beans. I don't think Mr. Stark would do that. Change freaks me out. Sorry. I'll stop being a downer.

    NOT. I love what a loser I am. I let something get to me when I know, I KNOW, that it shouldn't. But I can't help it. I can't escape the sinking feeling I get when I heard it. Or whenever I start thinking about it. Why am I such a goddamn idiot? Son of a whore. I need to move on, to get away from this, and I thought I had, but then of course it all comes back as soon as I get home. Ugh. I'm sorry. No one wants to hear this anymore.

    My head hurts. And my tummy.

    Current Mood: discontent
    Current Music: No Day But Today
    Saturday, November 20th, 2004
    9:00 pm
    Sweet Home Chicago
    Or DG. Whatever you prefer. Whatev. It's so nice to be home. Last night when I got back my parents took me to Isabella's where I had the wonderful gnocchi. So good.
    It was so nice to take a shower and actually feel clean again. I didn't realize how nasty my bathroom at Mark Twain was until I saw the alternative. Today I took my sister out to Clara's and we visit Jimmy and Maggie and my aunt. Then we did a little Karaoke Revolution 2. Now she's watching Full House so I'm up here.
    So part of my house got redone while I was gone. The kitchen, family room, laundry room, and play room are all repainted, and we got a new kitchen table too. We're also getting new furniture for the family room, but it hasn't come in yet. It was really weird to walk into an unfamiliar kitchen. Slightly unsettling. It's strange how quickly other things come back to me. All the pictures and little random crap in my room is just the same as when I left. When I was driving (yeah for driving!!!!), I automatically knew where to go. It's weird. Very weird. In a good way.

    Sorry this entry sucks. I'm just pondering. I'll end with something good:

    Saturday = NDSS. My mom is once again cool.

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Toxic (sung by me)
    Friday, November 19th, 2004
    12:07 am
    My friends here are quite intense. So, this afternoon Julie told us she asked Joel to semiformal. Joel rooms with Matt aka Nick Lachey aka Compass. Emily decided that I should ask Matt to semiformal because I have a crush on him. I was opposed to the idea, but everyone insisted, even giving me a 8:15 deadline. So, after much freaking out and the OC (gasp for Seth Cohen!), I went upstairs and knocked on his door and went for it while Ashley and Baby Emily listened from down the hall. And he said YES!!!!! Well actually, he said "Sure, when is it?" And I was elated. I hope that's a mood on here. I have a hot date for semiformal, bitches. Let's roll.

    I also introduced Ashley and Emily to the wonders of Zoolander. "Merman!"


    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: Relax
    Thursday, November 11th, 2004
    11:27 pm
    Best Game Ever!
    That's right, my friends and I have come up with the best game ever. Here's how it came about:
    We were all extremely bored, and Ashley suggested that we have a race of some sort. Somehow, we collectively came up with an idea called "Inchworm Racing". The racers wrap themselves from head to toe in a large blanket, and someone else secures them with blue painters tape. Then someone helps them onto the floor, and they shimmy blindly down the hall on their stomachs until someone reaches the finish line. It's hilarious to watch. A little frightening to participate in, but HILARIOUS to watch. My race did not go well. I went sideways and cracked my head against the wall and then Jill beat me because she flipped on her back and was able to go faster.

    In other news, Emily and I asked Mark and Ches to hayride. Howev, I think I'm going alone to semi-formal. It's the Friday after break and there's really no way for me to find anyone. Oh well. There will be more.

    Current Mood: complacent
    Current Music: Believe- The new Josh song
    Monday, November 8th, 2004
    10:03 pm
    So, I have a buttload of stuff to do, but I'm just way too tired to do any of it. I don't know why, but I can't seem to focus on anything tonight. I could be a) studying for my mythology test b) reading Frankenstein or c) researching for my term paper, but instead I've chosen to go crap around online for a while before going to sleep ridiculously early for a college child. Oh well.

    I can't even recall everything I wanted to put in here. Hm. I'll have to reflect for a while.

    ::One While Later::

    I know that there were specific things I wanted to say but I can't even remember them. I'll just say whatever I want I guess.

    On Saturday I went out to Chili's with Al, her dad, Laura, Michelle, and Haley. It was delicious, plus I got to hang out with Mr. Fonte, who rules. Later, Haley and I and a bunch of her friends went to the Sig Nu house. There really wasn't anyone there so it was kind of lame. However, there was one notable exception. Some Sig Nu guy converted his room into a bar, a real honest to goodness bar with employees and a sign and everything. It was highly amusing. Other than that the night was not much fun. Especially because Al called me from the super amazing party she was at.

    Ellis Library is a frightening place. I went there yesterday to research for my Pysch Term paper and was thoroughly scared. The stacks, aka huge rooms filled with tall dusty bookshelves, creep me out like none other. I wandered through them for almost a half hour and I never saw another soul. I expected someone to bust out and murder me at any moment. Plus it smelled like asbestos. Reminded me of Benet. I got lost many times, especially on my way to the central stacks, which are in a secret room within the east stacks. I'm sure this fascinates you. Let's move on.

    We did a bunch of courting for Greek Week last night. That was fun. For those of you who don't know, courting is the process in which sororities do cute things for frats in order to get them to be their Greek Week Partners. We made a bunch of signs and then dressed up in cute pjs to bring them a midnight snack. They were a little bewildered but they seemed to enjoy it. I made a really excellent sign. One of the houses we're courting calls its pledges goats. I made a sign that said "Phi Mu's Love Riding Goats" and then at the bottom it said "Make Em Say Baaaa!". Hahahaha. Tomorrow we have our serenade for our frats. I think I'm singing, but Phi Mu throws everything together at the last minute, so we'll see.

    We have our Phi Mu Hayride this weekend. We're supposed to bring dates. This presents a problem for me. Emily and I may jointly ask Mark (pipe boy) and Ches, but I don't know how that will go over. I'm not too worried about it because Hayride is not a huge deal, but we have a Semi-Formal on Dec. 4. That's far more upsetting. ::Sigh:: Who wants to come and visit me and be my date?

    I get to go home in less than two weeks.

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: American Idiot
    Thursday, November 4th, 2004
    9:21 pm
    So I've resigned myself to the fact that our country will be under the control of a complete moron for the next four years. I really can't see how our country could have been so dumb. Oh well. We'll get through it. Obama in 2008 anyone?

    I have two intriguiging things I'd like to share with the class.

    1.) There is a young man here by the name of Tyler. He's really hot, and I've like him since I got here. He's in my psych class and my dorm, so we've studied together a few times and we talk a lot. Several times he's proven to be quite an ass, but other times he seems really sweet. Most interesting of all, he has a girlfriend, but recently he has been flirting with me like CRAZY. Today he waited for me outside the classroom while I was talking to my professor so he could walk me back. I was like "What's going on buddy?" I know that I shouldn't be attracted to him...but I really am. Bad boy syndrome.

    The boy situation here in general is not very good. I think I'm going dateless to Hayride. Plus, if you really want to know what's up, ask me about my upsetting dream some time. That sucked.

    2.) I think I have a small complex. I get the feeling that no one in the world likes me. I would get these sudden bursts of feeling like unliked when I hung out with all my friends at home, and it's worse here. I feel like my new friends here only hang out with me because I follow them around. Like whenever they make fun of me for being in theater or my accent or how neurotic I am I feel like they really mean it. And when I go out with Al and her friends I feel like none of them like me either (except Al). I'm scared I'm never really going to make friends here. I think I'm crazy. Unless no one really likes me. I hope that's not the case.

    ::sigh:: I want to go home.

    Current Mood: discontent
    Current Music: Man of La Mancha
    Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
    5:06 pm
    OH SNAP!
    I FINALLY got my computer back. Oh, how I missed it. I feel like I should include a huge recap of my whole life since the Friday before last (The Offical Computer Blackout of 2004) but I don't think I'm up to it. We'll see how things go.

    Mizzou lost it's Homecoming Game, even though I wore Jess's scarf. Oh well. House decs were cute and fun, although it rained on them. Emily and I helped to make our parade float. That was interesting. My buddy Vince tried to get me to "come up to his room" with him to "get my mirror back" (he used it in the skit), but I was covered in paint and he was wasted so that didn't go over too well.

    I dressed like a Catholic School girl for Halloween. Go figure. I was rather cute I think. I got some hot pink fishnets, that was a wonderful addition. Look at my facebook if you'd care to see me.

    On Wednesday night (why?) we had our Halloween party with Figi. That started out as a big bummer. The security at the club was majorly vicious, so I thought I would have to be drinkless for the evening. Howev, when I told one of my older sisters I was jealous of her, she was like "Hey, why don't you go to the bathroom?" I did, and she brought me a HUGE beer. I then proceeded to "Get in the stall and chug that shit," in the words of one of my other sisters. Then we went back to the FIGI house, and that was fun, aka more alcohol and some very nice and cute boys.

    On Saturday I went out with Al. She was very cute in her garbage costume. My friend Mark (pipe boy to you viewers at home) was an excellent Napoleon Dynamite, and my friend Ches was Homestar Runner, complete with a lack of arms. I also saw someone dressed like a Sim (aka he had a big green diamond thing on top of his head.) Howev, my favorite costume of all time was (drumroll): QUAILMAN!!!!! He was perfect, from the underwear on the outside of his pants to the belt on his head. Plus he kept dancing around singing the Doug theme song. Good times.

    My next few weeks are going to be rather busy. I have couple midterms, sorority serenades for Greek week, a 3000 word term paper due a month from tomorrow, and possibly auditions for As You Like It. I'm a little freaked about that. I have to see what the comittment is because it seems like a large deal.

    Correction. The Curse of BlackMORE Manor. NDSS to the max. Wednesday I think.

    Current Mood: lethargic
    Current Music: Defying Gravity
    Saturday, October 30th, 2004
    10:18 pm
    Okay, I can't write a lot because this isn't my computer and I can't take up a lot of time on it, but I have a very important announcement:

    My mom purchased a new Nancy Drew yesterday. Yes, that's correct. It's not Shadow Ranch though. She said she thought we'd already done that one since it's been out for a while. It's called the Curse of Blackheart Manor or something like that. So, yeah, Thanksgiving Break NDSSers?

    PS Corrupted hard drive=sucks ass.

    Current Mood: rushed
    Current Music: OC Theme
    Thursday, October 21st, 2004
    11:16 pm
    Wow, it's a good thing my computer broke yesterday, or I would have gone on a million word estactic rant about the wonderful Brad Pitt. He's so hot. Wow. I was sitting in the sixth row on the left side, the very side where he walked out. He was so cute. He was like 20 feet away from me. During the documentary (which kicked ass incidentally) he came out and sat in the front row of out section. Even the back of his head his hot. Oh man, it was wonderful. The only bad thing was that Al couldn't sit with us because the stupid Maneater took her away, but she still got to see him at least. Wow, Brad Pitt. It's kind of surreal. Brad Pitt was on the same stage that I was on Monday night.

    I got into all the classes I wanted for next semester. My schedule is pretty good. I have class from 10:00-12:00 on MWF and 9:30-12:15 and 2:00-3:15 on Tuesday and Thursday. Plus I'm excited about all of my classes.

    I got a cold last night. I guess Brad weakened my immune system. I'm going to neglect reading Emma and go to sleep because I feel like poop.

    Current Mood: sick
    Current Music: Billy Boyd singing the Steward of Gondor
    Monday, October 18th, 2004
    11:19 pm
    I cast my vote for John Kerry absentee last week. WOOT.

    We performed our skit tonight. Alison came and videotaped it like the special friend she is, so you guys can see it if you want. It went better than I expected, but I don't think we'll win. I think I did pretty well, and the kiss (my very first stage kiss you know) was good. I'm not such a fan of CHJ anymore. He's kind of an ass. Howev, I discovered that he is a pretty good kisser during our dirty run through this weekend. I love our director, A.J. (45 Moment!), but I think I scared him at our party last weekend. I was rather tipsy (to put it lightly). That didn't bother my other crush, Vince, though. I'm such a crush ho.
    PS Rob Edwards was at skit.

    AND NOW, to clarify my last entry:

    Yes, ladies and gents, Mr. Brad Pitt will be at wonderful Mizzou on Wednesday evening. Why you may ask? Well, first of all, he went here (but dropped out two credits shy of his journalism degree for an acting career or something), and it's Homecoming Week. Secondly, they're showing a documentary about John Kerry and dear dear Brad wants to promote it. I tried to get an assignment about him for the Maneater and possibly get a press pass, but someone else took it. Bastards. Oh well. I'm just going to have to camp out for him.

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: Tainted Love
    3:00 pm

    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: Remember (from Troy)
    Thursday, October 7th, 2004
    10:18 pm
    I heart Curly-Haired John.

    "Hey, we should practice the kiss some more Amanda."

    That is all.

    Current Mood: flirty
    Current Music: "I'd date a guy in sequins..."
    Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
    11:25 pm
    My skit is a little out of control. It's very random. I don't know what I'm singing yet, but I do know that I have to kiss Curly-Haired John. I read the script and I was like "Snap! Awkward." It's funny how I can grind with him for ages at the marriage party when I'm drunk but be nervous as hell around him when I'm sober. Today it ended up that it was just me and him at rehearsal, which freaked me out. He definitely went in for the kiss the first time we rehearsed it too. It wasn't really that big of a deal, but I got very flustered. I don't know what I think of him. He's cute, but he seems kind of crazy. Example: After we finished the first scene, he walked over the costume table, put on a cowboy hat, and said, "Hey, what if my character was a cowboy?". I'm serious.

    I think I have my four year plan mostly figured out. I just have to open a semester for study abroad. Also, I think I'm minoring in Classics. I know that it's not really practical, but you're supposed to major in something that interests you, and I love mytholgy to death. I want to take a really exciting class next semester called Greek and Roman Epic. It's upper level though, so I might not get in. The other classes I want to take are Principles of American Journalism, Acting for NonMajors, PolySci-American Government, and Modern Era (a humanities class). Hopefully I can get everything I want, because my schedule would be rockin in that case.

    I have to give blood a week from today. I'm so scared. Needles have the same effect on me as ambulances do aka panic attack central.

    I get initiated into Phi Mu on Saturday.

    That's all I think. Goodnight.

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: Remember-Josh Groban
    Thursday, September 30th, 2004
    10:53 am
    My Turn
    Dude, me and Matt are the coolest for taking mythology because it's hilarious:

    "You, O child, lying in the cradle, inform me about my cattle and be quick, or soon the two of us will be at variance and it will not be nice."

    Current Mood: amused
    Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
    9:19 pm
    So we found out about the skit tonight. I apparently have a rather large role. That's all I can say about it since the plot is supposed to be a secret. But I'm sure everyone already read what I had here before.

    In other news, I have to make a four year plan for my FIG class, aka figure out what classes I want to take the next four freakin years. That frightens me. We also have to pick a prospective dual major or minor. I have my minors narrowed down to Theatre, History, or Poly Sci. I hate being uncertain about the future. But I guess it's inevtiable.

    Current Mood: excited
    Current Music: Cabaret (our skit's theme music)
    Friday, September 24th, 2004
    10:35 am
    WOOT. I think I got a lead in the Phi Mu Homecoming Skit! I'm so excited I can't even stand it.

    Here's what went down. After my tryout on Monday night, the two girl directors asked me to come back and sing on Wednesday night. I sang two more songs for them, and they asked me if I could project in Jesse Hall without a mic. I was honest and said no. That night they sent out a cast list without my name, but at the bottom it said "The female leads are being discussed." This morning, I got an email saying "Congratulations on being cast as Sally in the Homecoming Skit." I don't know how big a part Sally is, but hell yeah, it's a part. Plus they told me I get to sing.

    We started pomping for Homecoming last night. For those of you who don't know (I didn't) pomping is making house decorations for your sorority. It consists of twisting little pieces of paper around markers, dipping them in glue, and sticking them on a board in a pretty design. A little stupid, yes, but it sure does look pretty. Our theme is The Lion King. Every house has a different Disney movie.

    Tonight we're going to see either First Daughter or Napoleon Again (hopefully Napoleon), then we're going to Dance Marathon. Good times.

    Current Mood: happy
    Current Music: What You Wish For
    Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
    11:12 pm
    My family came up this weekend for Family Weekend. It was fantastic to see all of them again, plus they brought me some stuff, like a bathmat to replace the nasty, mildew-ridden towel that my suitemates put in front of our shower. On Friday night we went to Olive Garden (swanky) and to see the Second City Tour. It was funny, especially the improv sections, but nothing was "I permed my hair in the devil's anus" material. The next day we had breakfast at I-HOP, watched the Tigers school Ball State, went grocery shopping, at dinner at a nice restaraunt, and saw Napoleon Dynamite (BEST MOVIE EVER!). Saying goodbye was sad, but not nearly as bad as it was a month ago.

    I got 101% on my very first college exam. It was in mythology, which is my most favorite class in the whole wide world. I seriously want to minor in classical studies.

    I tried out for the Phi Mu Homecoming skit last night. I sang and then they asked me to belt, and then Emily and I did some random improv about Titanic. I hope I get something since I rejected from chorus and missed the play auditions.

    My friends all took the enneagram last night and thought it was the coolest thing ever Well, except for Lizzy, who also did it at her school. She's a 6, Ashley and Rosa are 7s, Emily is a 9, and Sydney is a 3. They're good people.

    Candide makes me sleepy.

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: "Whatever I FEEL like I wanna do, GOSH!"
    Friday, September 17th, 2004
    4:34 pm
    So we had our marriage party with Delta Tau Delta and Delta Chi last night. I was really excited about it because it was (A) a party on a Thursday night (B) at a dance club (C) army theme and (D) an opportunity to meet some hot guys in the frats I'll be paired with for like the next month.

    So, I got all cute in some camo capris I borrowed from Ashley and a olive green cami with my hair up all crazy with a headband. Then, right in the middle of Joey, Ashley got a call from her Lion Pal at Phi Mu (older girls who do cool things with you every week). This girl, Stephanie, said that we could come to her room before the party to drink because underage drinking is not allowed at the club (or anywhere else in Missouri). So we went over and gave her money for some Rasperry Twist Smirnoff. Then we went over to Pike, a (shady) frat house to drink. I was kind of freaked out about taking a shot, so I had some sprite mixed with the vodka. It was yummy. Then Emily convinced me to do a shot with her, so I did. It was good, but then I proceeded to be completely hammered.

    We got on a bus and went over to the club and danced the night away. Most of the guys were pretty skeezy, which was disappointing, but there was one cute guy from Delta Chi who I danced with for a while. (45 minutes according to Ashley, but she was drunk too.) Then I got really thristy all of a sudden, so Rosa and I decided to get some water. After drinking the water, I got really nauseous all of a sudden, so I decided to go to the bathroom. I ended up sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor mumbling "I don't feel good," over and over. Various girls kept bending over me and asking if I was okay, and Rosa kept telling me to get up because the floor was dirty. Then Leslie, the presdient of Phi Mu, came in and said she was going to take me home. While we were waiting for our ride, I puked my guts out in a garbage can outside of the club while some frat guys watched and laughed and some Phi Mus tried to comfort me. Leslie brought me back to the house and made me eat Frosted Flakes and drink some water while we watched Trading Spaces on DVD. Finally, another DD named Julie drove me home.

    Sarah's little sister was staying with us last night. Now her whole family probably thinks I'm a massive tool.

    To top it off, I felt like I was going to hurl all morning AND I found out that I lost my damn key and I have to pay $50 to replace it.

    AND my article got cut from the paper...but that's unrelated I guess.

    Anyway, be careful when if and when you drink guys. I ruined my night, and I'm really lucky that nothing else bad happened. Getting sick in your friend's basement is okay, but getting sick in a dark scary club is not.

    If I drink again, I'm sticking to beer.

    Current Mood: melancholy
    Current Music: Toxic
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