*The Stars Will Cry The Blackest Tears Tonight*'s Blurty

*I Know What I Want*
I cannot use myspace blog...much rather that...

random thinking on a deep thinking night when I should be in bed or working on a speech eeek...

I want a guy...that likes me...that I like back...that I do not want to run away from. That I could possibly have a future with. Like long term. Not saying marriage but long term as in I will not have to worry about stupid little fights or little things said and then go home to wonder if he will call the next day or if it is over. I think my last relationship messed me up to be paranoid. Thanks. I want someone to go to the mall with when i am bored to shop. To go to Mt trashmore with me to swing when bored. To TALK to me about things going on. To share things with me. To come to my house so my parents do not always go nuts wondering where I am. To go to Hunt Club with me in the fall so we can share in the fall activities together. To walk on the beach with. To go to a dinner and a movie with. Wow I want a boyfriend. Amanda for once in her life wants a boyfriend. And not one of those off and on things where it turns out bad. But everything has turned out bad in the past. And it is not like I do not have somone in mind for all of this because I do...I just cannot have it right now..or even in the near future...but I am not going to go look for someone new or look for this wonderful experience because i am not like that to look for things that will come when the time is right. Also because this...what I want, is all in my head. Who says it will really be like this? One can only hope. if you could see how happy I am in my head.

Current Mood: hopeful