:/
I cannot even begin to describe what I am feeling....it is like I have no memory of the past couple of weeks...it is like I just woke from a coma and I am here...and do not know why..and yet other people are going through worse stuff that I do not even know how I would deal with if I was going through it...Maybe I am lost without the drama I use to have...I got so use to it...I mean maybe I am somehow upset that I for once have no problems...yet I am still empty...go figure...I want to help these people that are hurting and I cant...well I know one for sure I cant...and yet I got involved...I cant though...maybe for once I should look out for me...and keep myself away from getting hurt...bc I really think no one will get me...well that is a lie some do but I mean like new people that come into my life...it is like so hard to explain what is beneath the surface of me...I sometimes wonder why someone would love or care for someone like me...yet I know why at the same time....just why cant everyone be happy for once and everything go right for once...like today...I found out my sister is moving back in August though I will believe it when I see it...I thought my mother would be happy...yet why would she? she never is...I think she liked the fact my sister lived out there so she could get away from her problems here...and keep my sisters problems whatever they are out there so she would not have to bale her out or something...
screw this I cannot write at the moment...I have blockage...
Current Mood: empty. lost. |