Sunday, November 30th, 2008

lilroxybabe8188 Time: 7:34 am.

Yesterday was the boxcar derby. I woke up at 9am for it and Suz and Les came over around 11. We grabbed beers from Jacks and headed up to Big Hill. We hopped on the noon shift serving hot dogs and burgers. I really, really liked helping out. It takes the pressure off my shoulders. In Hopetown I feel like everyone can just talk so easily for hours and I just can't and I feel like thats what sets me on the outskirts sometimes. So helping out allowed me to talk with everyone and still make my mark. We started drinking swiggel (coconunt milk and gin). Those things will get you tuned up real fast. I had about four over the course of the day. I went to leave around 4 but Justin convinced me I should stay through the awards and he or Mike would drop me off in town. I was still having a good time so I stayed. Turned out my parents took forever to get the golfcart out though so I was still able to catch a ride back to town which was nice bcause Justin of course disappeared somewhere and I'd be dammed if I was going looking for him. He still probs has no idea I went home with my parents haha. After Big Hill we went straight to Jacks. Started Happy Hour at 4 and everyone went crazy dancing and singing to "I love this bar" and various Buffett songs. I took a 20 minute break to freshen up and continued drinking straight on till 8 oclock when I went down to Jillians place to meet up with her and Ash. There we drank AMAZING margaritas until 10pm and headed up to Seaspray. Drank Goombay Smashes at Seaspray and made it back into town around 12ish. Shane JR Jillian Ash and me went back to Jillians. They all smoked while I basically passed out to the sound of Shane bitching about Tia and teaching. All in all I drank for 13 or 14 hours straight yesterday. I am suffering severely right now. I'm talking a pounddding headache. Too many sugary drinks last night. I dont even know where the guys were last night. I'm sure in some off road smoking weed because I didnt see them anywhere. I feel bad because Clint was probably waiting on my phone call all last night. He gave me his number again at some point but I lost it already. Thats twice in like two days. Go me. But it's good I didn't meet up with them, the last thing I'd of needed is to smoke. That would have destroyed me. I got so many good pictures I need to posttt when I get back. Today is going to be my lay day. I'm doing nothing until I leave except work on my Diversity project paper. Maybe I'll see what Justin and Clint are up to later. By the sound of the wind outside I get the feeling Sarah and Atti aren't going to Guana for surf anymore so thats probably out of the agenda. I can't believe break is over already. Time to get back to reality. But Christmas will be here before I know it! And there is SO much school work in between now and then.

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lilroxybabe8188 Time: 11:13 am.

I dont know what to do I am in so much pain I'm about to cry. I've been up for over two hours and my lockjaw will not go away. I've tried everything: hot rags, muscle stretching exercises, etc. Nothing is working and I can't eat. It's Thanksgiving and I can't open my mouth to even swallow soggy cereal. It's happened every day since I've been here and I've been popping medicine like its my job to relax my muscles. I've been all over the internet but it just seems to be getting worse. I know that it is completely stress related and apparently occurs while I'm sleeping. I'm not grinding my teeth. But how is it that all my stress comes out while I'm sleeping so intensely that the muscles in my jaw lock? I don't think I have tetanus because I'm not getting headaches and neck aches. The only other explanation was heart problems or the result of severe emotional stress. Ironic how I never started getting lock jaw until I broke up with Dan and it's been getting progressively worse... and everytime I get emotional about the situation is right before I fall asleep every night. I'm so frustrated. Apparently only 10 million people suffer from this. It's called TMJ. It could take a number of things to find a way to end it: surgery, vicodin (wtf!? no!), muscle relaxers, regularly visiting a chairopractor. I'm 20 years old I shouldn't be having these problems yet. I don't know what to do and I know that stressing out about it is only making it worse.

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lilroxybabe8188 Time: 11:24 pm.

It's so weird because as I was driving home tonight I thought about who the first person is I would call if something went wrong. And it's still Dan. And when I pulled into my driveway all the lights in my house were illuminated... and I realized the garage door was wide open. But I had shut the garage door. and I'd waited to make sure it didn't go back up. I have no idea how it got opened, if someone came over and didn't put it down. I don't know. I freaked out and decided to call someone to stay on the line with me while I went inside. I dialed Dan but he was out at the bar with Seeg and Heather. Feeling like a complete idiot I just hung up the phone. I re-typed in 911 and walked around my house for a good 15 minutes. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight. I'm all nerve wracked now. It's not like anybody knows the code because we just changed it to something completely random 2 days ago. what the fuckkk. I'm just hoping it was a technical thing and going to bed. or trying to.

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lilroxybabe8188 Time: 12:30 pm.

3 days till the Bahamas woot-woot. It seems like it's so far away but 3 days is SO soon. I have a lot coming up to look forward too. Social tomorrow, FiTH show Friday night!, Bahamas Saturday till Dec 1. After that Christmas starts kicking off: Dec 13th: Hillendale County Club Formal Christmas Party - Erika and Dewey are coming up from the Bahamas, and the Haydens are going as well so it will nice to have Bobby there. I can't wait to wear my gown! Dec 14th: Ravens vs. Steelers game. A second intense day of partying but it is going to be such a good game. Again, with Eri and Dewey as well as the Haydens Dec 19th: 2nd Annual Black and White Party! I've been putting money in the bank for this. It's going to be off the wall and I cannot wait. I have to get a LOT of wine. I also need to learn how to set up my fondue pot and start asking people to bring dishes. It's just going to be incredible. Dec 22nd: Kevins Christmas Cocktail Party - it will be a lot of the same people from my party so it will be one more chance to catch up with home friends :)

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