x[Nicole]'s Recent Entries

15th November 2004

11:30pm: i fucking hate xanga.

saturday was frank's birfday.
my mom and i went shopping in the morning and i got him sheets and fleece to make him a blanket.
so my mom ended up spending an another $40 on his gift.
my mom is awesome.

he liked the cubs blanket i made.
but im not so sure about the sheets.
whatever. he needed some.

sunday kiki, megan, frank and i went to orland.
it was a waste of time.
no one had money and all anyone bought was a calendar.
but frank bought me Panera cause he's the best fucking boyfriend ever.

nothing much else to talk about.
i live a very dull life.

i can't wait till lunch tomorrow.
salad and sandwich.

im the biggest loser ever.

I know my calculus...
...it says f'(x)=I'msofuckingcool

<33 nicole
Current Mood: aggravated

29th September 2004

12:31pm: school reeeeaaallllly needs to unblock xanga again.
or i need to learn how to beat bess.
im so bored.

so anywho. someone stole a mouse ball from the computers, so technically im not even supposed to be on the computer right now. but we have a sub today. so yeah. =)

fuck this. im playing games.

<33 nicole
Current Mood: bored

25th August 2004

12:12pm: so for some reason school has stopped blocking blurty, which was the whole reason why i got a xanga in the first place. whatever.

im in study hall right now. which is awesome. cause im in the computer lab everyday for study hall cause my 4th hour class just so happens to be web page design. effin sweet.

i need to find some games or something to do for the next half hour. i know! HOMESTAR RUNNER! maybe?

im bored. i really should read my book. my test date is in like 2 weeks. that sucks. i still have 2 1/2 books to read. lame.

<33 nicole
Current Mood: excited

8th November 2003

3:48pm: my dearest blurty,
im ever so sorry for abandoning you for so long. but quite frankly my friend, you bore me. you are like a first born child who is forgotten about when yer little sibling is born. and xanga is yer little, cuter, much more pleasant sister. good day.

<3 nicole
Current Mood: drained

1st November 2003

3:01pm: she's a killer queen. gunpowder, gelatine. dynamite with a laser beam. guaranteed to blow yer mind.
havent been here for a while. i have been neglecting both my xanga and my blurty. eh. i never have anything interesting to say.

last night was fun. at about 4:30ish i picked up pivo and sellers and we went to monicas. derek came. we put on costumes. and we went trick or treating. went to donny swibes' house first. told him he had to come with us. so he grabbed his mummy costume and backpack and joined the group. some lady called pivo a girl and told him to cut his hair. we got a decent amount of candy. went back to monicas, people gave me stuff they didnt want. me and pivo ate some raisins. =)

we didnt wanna sit around so we went to don's house to play basketball. his basketballs were flat and it was dark so we threw out that idea. we watched pivo and sellers dunk for a while and don and ica sword fighted. then we played the balancing game with sticks and pivo sellers and don tipped over the little playground thing and played whack a mole...pivo was the mole. sellers ended up getting punched in the balls by pivo. pivo said he was simply groping him. haha.

dan came and monica went back home with him. then we got bored and me and pivo decided we wanted to watch monty python and the holy grail. so we went back it icas and got our stuff. sellers said he wanted to go home, so i dropped him off and the rest of us went to joes videos. i saw my uncle joe in there, but he was ignoring me. thats twice in 2 weeks. aw. =(.

got MPATHG and went back to dereks house to watch it. i stole dereks chair when he got up to get the phone. muahahaha. donny swibes and i just kept quoting the movie the whole time and derek and pivo kept yelling at us. i was so hyper and pivo kept making me laugh. =). after it was over we just flipped chanels for about an hour or so. watched the end of the ring cuz it was on tv. me and derek got into an arguement about if the guy died at the end. i won. =). heh. after watching that 70s show we had to leave. so i dropped pivo and donny off and was home by 11:20. 40 mins before curfew. =). im a good child.

it was a good night. =).

this morning i had practice at 6 a.m. i overslept and got there at 6:45. fucking aye. as if vesa didnt hate me already. gah. i hate basketball.

today i dont know what im doing. eh. im in a crappy mood. like one where i dont feel like showering or getting dressed. hm.

oh yes. i have a fotki acount now.
this was a long entry.

happy 5 months to monica and dan. ♥

<3 nicole
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: all is full of love // death cab for cutie

27th October 2003

6:14pm: today during 5th hour we had a sub. we were supposed to read something in our book, but since i didnt have my book i just put my head down and slept.

i was awoken by the sound of the teacher talking. i wasnt listening to what he was saying, because i figured it had nothing to do with me. all his words went in one ear and out the other. it was kind of like in charlie brown, where the teacher is talking and you hear them, but you dont comprehend what he's saying.

i only recognized 6 words of his whole speech.

"Jon Rich has passed away today."

granted, i didn't know the guy on a very personal level, but it still hurt. i was shaking for the next hour and 1/2. i saw one girl bawling in the hallway. it hurts to know i will never see "Dexter" again.

i think the thing that bothers me the most is i ignored him alot. i shunned him. i dont know why.

and now i think: "i talked to him a week ago, after he came back from the hospital, and he seemed perfectly fine. he was smiling. he was laughing. he was the same old Dexter". i really believed the doctors had saved him. i wish i was right.

i don't have much else to say since i didnt know him all that well.

dont ever think things like this cant happen. because they do. when you least expect it.

Jon, you will be missed greatly.

I am at a loss of words right now.

8:15 p.m._____

survey )

<3 nicole
Current Mood: numb

26th October 2003

12:20pm: best friends means i pull the trigger. best friends means you get what you deserve.
how can someone be buddy buddy with someone to their face, and then talk shit behind their back? but i guess they all deserve each other since they all do it to each other. thank god theres only 2 years left till graduation. and i can honestly say there is a maximum of about 4 people that i will actually miss. but i will miss them like none other. they almost make me never want to leave. but the other stupid people make me want to get the hell out of this place and start somewhere new. with a whole new batch of morons.

but seriously. on to other things.

yesterday was fun. picked monica up. went to harvest, the village, and walmart. got a couple shirts. a pumpkin thingy for me for my halloween costume. and red shoes for her costume.

we were hungry, so we went to schoops. stopped and picked up cheese on the way since we were going by her house. sat and ate. a creepy guy waited on us. he didnt charge us for 2 drinks or a milkshake. "it pays to be beautiful." yes it does, monica. hah.

dropped monica off. then took cheese home.

came home and sat online for about 5 hours.

i think pivo officially beat matts record. aw.

ive been having dreams about, ahem, someone. its friggin wierd. =\.

im not even in the mood to do anything today. maybe ill call adam. eh.

<3 nicole
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: a fire inside

25th October 2003

5:56pm: swallow yer pride. dont like yer lip react. you dont wanna see my hand where my hip be at.
im fucking bored.

deedly doo )
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: sing for the years // eminem

24th October 2003

11:47pm: yo. shaniqua. i love you. call me.
tonight was fun. i love having a car.

went to the tfn game. which was. eh. ok i guess.

afterwards i took jono, ica, sellers, and pivo and we met a bunch of people at BDP's. stayed there for a while. then i took jono sellers and ica home. stayed at her house for a while. we had alot of catching up to do. we had a nice long chat about how people absolutely suck and are absolutely stupid. im glad i have her. we are in the same boat when it comes to things and people.

after that i came home. told my mom about how i freaked monica and jon out with my softball in my windshield. heh. =). funny.

im super tired. fucker.

<3 nicole
Current Mood: exhausted

22nd October 2003

6:28pm: when i die i want to be buried face-down. so that everyone who doesnt like me can kiss my ass.
my mom took my car. =(.

i wanted to go show it off. maybe visit my best friend.

its got some mad sound up in the hizzouse. my brother was checking to see how much bass it had.

it runs like a dream. its seriously better then my mom's and my dad's put together.

not to mention friggin gorgeous.

and the trunk can hold my brother.

im so spoiled. its sickening.

no matt this friday. but maybe a bit of my baby. hopefully. gah. i havent talked to him in forever. i miss him so.

made varsity basketball. fuck yeah, a-holes.

peace izzout.

<3 nicole
Current Mood: giddy

21st October 2003

9:21pm: you make me wanna leave the one im with, start a new relationship. true. its what you do.
who got their liscense yesterday?
nicole got her liscense yesterday.

who is getting their car tomorrow?
nicole is getting her car tomorrow.

get off the road, assholes.

<3 nicole
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: what it is to burn // finch

19th October 2003

12:29am: billy jeans not my lover. shes just a girl that says i am the one. but the kid is not my son.
homecoming was awesome. thank you pivo. =)

pictures. )

ill update tomorrow. i need sleep. i gotta get up at 8. =\

<3 nicole
Current Mood: drained

18th October 2003

12:22am: It's about time that I came clean with you
I'm no longer fine, I'm no longer running smooth
I though that I found myself under something new
Just one more line I repeat over and over again
'Till I'm blue in the face with a choking regret
Because I talk in circles 'round you on my bed
Can't say I blame you one bit when you kept it all inside
When you left that night

It's about time that you got sick of me
No longer fun, and so far from interesting

I thought that I found me a cure for feeling old
Just one more line to keep me sleeping loudly and cold
In disgrace with a shameful regret
As I talk in tongues to myself in my bed
Can't say I blame you one bit when you kept it all inside
When you left that night

And all that followed fell like mercury to hell
Somehow we lost our heads for the last time
And all that followed fell like mercury to hell
Somehow we lost our heads for the last time

And I don't dream since I quit sleeping
And I haven't slept since I met you
And you can't breathe without coughing at daytime
And neither can I
So what do you say?
Your coffin, or mine?

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: blue in the face // alkaline trio

15th October 2003

4:42pm: Take this blade to my wrist. Help me end what makes you ugly.
im sorry my fellow blurtians. i have abandoned you. but dont fret. i have neglected you to attend to far better things. a.k.a. xanga. but i did make a new layout for this poor excuse of a blog. actually i made it for xanga, modified it, and put it on here.

school sucks. still. nothing new.

ive been feeling loved. its great to no end.

i hate crushes. i hate boys who would be decent but ruin it by smoking. yes steve im talking about you.

2 days till i see matthew throw dem bows. <3. i need to make my poster for him. i need more body glitter. lol.

my elbow is totally fucked. im so scared. hopefully its only bruised. i hit it on our ghetto wall in our bathroom. it hurts to hold open a door. yes. it sucks.

homecoming this weekend. im ever so excited. i cant wait to attempt to look pretty.

dyed my hair black again. it doesnt look much different. just a bit darker. that will change in a few days. for some reason my hair doesnt retain the dye too well. oh well.

"don't they jump around like this?" ::hops around like an idiot::

me:"adam what are you doing with the sun chips bag?"
him: "im reading the ingredients to see what they put in these things to make them so good. they have to use crack or some sort of drug."

ha. i love my brother.

i crave sleep.

goobye all.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: a static lullaby

12th October 2003

9:01pm: She smashed the radio with a board of education.
today sucked.

woke up tired as all hell. got dressed. went to my tourney. i didnt do too well sucked today. yarg. not even gonna go there.

came home and slept for about 4 hours. i sleep way too much.

woke up and watched varsity blues.

"aw. kyle. did you start a cult? how sweet."

came online and talked to matt for a whole 20 minutes. they he had to be too cool and went to watch a movie. gah. boys.

dear sir,
you still say "love you" every night. what do you mean by it?! gah.

this meager update brought you you by:

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: longview // green day

10th October 2003

9:50pm: You want apologies? You might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever.
today was the bestest.

school sucked. but thats besides the point.

after school my mommy took me to the drivers ed school and i took my test. i passed. =). now i just need to pass the written part. woo!

my mom picked up my lettermans jacket when i was testing. =)

came home and slept for about 20 minutes.

got up and got dressed. headed out to joanne fabrics to pick up stuff for the straps of my dress. then we went to walmart and got me some hair dye.

picked up monica and headed out to hegwisch to mann park to watch matthew ball it up. me and ica barely watched the game. we were too busy talking. matthew had 5 blocks. i missed them all. but in all fairness i also missed when he fell down. so its all gravy. his team sucks. no offense matt. yer my #1 hero. =).

tomorrow=practice and getting all dressed up. heh. i love getting dressed up.

sunday=tourney. i wish matthew would go again. <3

dear sir,
you brought me my property that you held randsom. of course you didnt want the payment for it, but i didnt expect you to. you kissed it before you gave it to me. i swear. i think you like to see me suffer. you want me to die a slow, agonizing death, don't you?

forever yours,

goodnight, darlings.

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Continental // Alkaline Trio

8th October 2003

4:13pm: I was over it before, but you brought me back to where I began.
eep. 2 days. how fucking exciting is that. <3

i saw adam today. our car drove past his car. i didnt even bother looking at him. ok. so i did. but when he looked back i turned away. gah. boys. after last night i didnt feel like making a greeting gesture towards him. I love you too much.

late starts rock hardcore.

wore my Strong Bad shirt today. <33. hell yes. had to tie it in the back though, because its flippin huge. i got so many comments on it. Strong Bad owns you and yer mom, fawker.

homecoming is in less than 2 weeks and I don't even have all my materials. erica is scanning the date form and sending it to me. =). i love my darling erica.

I need a new layout. no ideas. hm.

bored. gr.

11:04 p.m._______

dear sir,
what do you mean when you say "love ya" every night? it kills me. i know you dont mean it, but you still say it. you know i hate the use of that word unless it is meant. i'm sure you know i am still crazy for you, you have to. its obvious. you are the most perfect guy ever, and those 2 words fill me with the emptiest hope in the whole world. they make me feel as if i have a chance, when i dont. i hate how everything has turned out. i hate pining over you when you have no feelings for me other than a friend. i hate getting excited when i have the opportunity to see you. i hate dreaming of a perfect life with me and you. i hate myself for wanting you.

im hungry

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: blue in the face // alkaline trio

6th October 2003

6:20pm: i dont have anything to say.

i did good when i was shooting around though.

carmen IM'ed me. i apologized for what i wrote in my previous entry. i didnt mean anything by it. i was just jealous. i dont even know who she is. and in all honesty, when she came up to us i thought she was so nice and totally pretty, but when i found out who she was i just got bitter. so to her, again, and to anyone who got pissed off because they are friends with her. I'm sorry.


5th October 2003

10:00pm: I'm just a fool. A fool in love with you.
cubs just won. yay? heh.

today was pretty good.

had softball today in portage. we won the championship. woohoo. go yella bellies. i did pretty good. i guess.

haha my mom is trying to make us do chores. ha. yer silly mom. for $10 a week. yeah. we'll see how long this lasts. then again i could use some money. hmm....naw.

gah. no one is online tonight. stupid afi concert. *waves fist*. i wanna talk to matthew. =( i made his poster already. it looks like shit. lol. i tried to make it all glittery, but i didnt have real glitter. so i decided to use my body glitter. im so resourceful. =\.

oh man. i saw ryan at the game friday. yarg. he looks like hes friggin 40. haha. gross.

then at the game some girl came up to us and goes "im taking pitcures of chucks! *insert schoolgirl giggle here*." if that wasnt LyK3 ToTaLLy k3wL enough, turns out it was carmen, the girl ryan ditched me for. hahahaha. wow. that was friggin hilarious.

hm. where is everyone. =(

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: earth angel

4th October 2003

11:28pm: and you dance and drink and screw, because theres nothing else to do.
life has been boring lately. i dont know why.

yesterday we got out early because of homecoming. which, by the way, we lost our homecoming game. haha. thats a knee slapper. the pep rally was horrible. maybe because i lack pep. meh. i think me and adam were the only 2 people not cheering or anything. i just so happened to be sitting next to him. i remember freshman year we used to be friends and we used to talk to each other all the time in geometry and then we would walk to gym and i would be late for my gym class in the swimming pool cuz i would be talking to him. meh. i wish we would still talk. but we dont.

went to the north football game last night. it was cold, but not as cold as i thought it would be. i kept having to run away from glen because my boyfriend was missing in action. *waves fist*

i took tons of pictures of monica so she could send em to her sister, but then dan broke my camera and they all got baleeted. i was ever so fucking mad. they were good pictures. i took pictures of other people too, and they also got erased. so i only ended up with 3.

2 pictures )

today was ok. softball practice.

took jodie home and me and my mom went to white castle. the homeless guy that walks all over hammond came in there to use the bathroom to clean up and stuff. i felt bad because we had tons of food left over that we were taking home to my brother. my mom wanted to give it to him. so did i. i want to cry everytime i see him. but i dont know if he likes getting stuff from people. i wouldnt know if he would be grateful, or mad that people pity him. so yeah. i dont know. he never begs for anything, and he never bothers anyone for money or food. i think he is so strong willed. its so depressing. anyway. moving on.

after that we went car hunting. found some really pretty ones today. 2 cavaliers and a camero. =). woo.

came home and slept till 8:30. i love sleeping.

my mom is making me go play in portage tomorrow. gah.

i get to see matthew play basketball next friday. woohoo. im making a poster for him. =) im so excited.

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Thank you in advance // Boys 2 Men

1st October 2003

10:30pm: The way you haunt my dreams. Oh no, they can't take that away from me.
my physics project is finally done. ive been so stressed out the last 4 days because of it. the car doesnt go as far as it needs to, but i dont care. its done. and that is it.

havent talked to adam in who knows how long. i miss him so much. hes probably too busy with lauren. *sigh* poop.

matt was being a butt tonight. some people just cant take a fucking joke.

some people just dont get the hint that you dont care for them. gah. go away.

erica told me something that made me feel like poop. bah. i hate males.

school sucks. its the end of the first 6 weeks already. 1 down 5 to go. this is gonna be a fast year again. woo hoo.

i dont have much else to say. i really miss my baby. i feel so lonely.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: sheena is a punk rocker // the ramones

28th September 2003

7:51pm: this is what you get when i become outrageously bored

<3 )
Current Mood: frustrated

27th September 2003

8:35pm: Murder murder, a ripe blood stain. Pulled the fucking trigger cause I'm sick of it all.
today flat out sucked.

woke up not feeling good. i never feel good on saturday morning. felt like i was gonna throw up. blah.

went back to bed for a little while and then i got up to shower. got dressed and jodie picked me up to go to our game. i did horrible today. im so glad matthew decided to go last week. i did bad then, but i did even worse today. yarg. i need him to go to all my games. i do better when people are watching me. i dont want to look like a dumbass. hmm...

told my mom i wanted to go shopping and shes like "well i have to go to grandmas to pick up my stuff". she said she would go get her shit and come back, drop it off, and take me to the mall. she left at maybe 6ish. she didnt get back till 10 minutes ago. god. i need to get my liscense.

so ive been sitting around watching tv. i was watching this one really cute movie. i dont know why i stopped. oh well. i dont even know what it was called. it was on the wonderful world of disney. ah disney. how i love ye.

game tomorrow at 8. have to be there at 7. its in crete so that means i have to get up before 6. ugh.

i have to do my physics project. i hate writing reports. especially when i dont have any clue what im writing about.

Current Mood: angry
Current Music: The Distillers

26th September 2003

9:24pm: There's a place, that no one knows about. Away from integrity.
today sucked.

school was ok. i was hyper for some reason. good moods rock madstyle.

after school came home and was a computer geek. as usual. found some kick ass homestar runner sounds for my computer. my computer is bitchin'.

my mom called and asked if i wanted to go to eat with my grandparents at vickies. i said yes because vickies is some hardcore awesome shit. the lady that owns the place was talking to my grandma. she is freakin hilarious. lol.

after we ate me and my mom went to the landings to go shopping. went to walmart. got some dress pants. got my nets and shoes for homecoming. yay.

i wanted to go to party city to look for my disguise so i could hide from glen at the next north game. they were closed. *waves fist*. chicken fuckers.

dear sir,
i hate when you say you will call and you dont. i have my phone by me at all times waiting for it to ring, yet it never makes a sound. it angers me so. yet i still love you.

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Shatterday // Vendetta Red
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25th May 2005

12:27pm: i have the best boyfriend in the world
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