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Appy [13 Jul 2003|10:52pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Dirry by Christina ] nvm on all of this, pay no mind .::Confessional::.

Survey [13 Jul 2003|04:15pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | 'Genuine' Stacie Orrico ] ~Basics~ Name: Melanie Age: 16 Birthday: January 21, 1987 Height: 5'8 Eye Colour: Blue Hair Colour: Blonde ~Favorites~ Colour: blue, green, black Movie: Cruel Intentions Sound: music! Song: 'The Voice Within' Christina Aguilera Music Group: The Donnas Celebrity: Cameron Diaz Outfit: hmmmm i like my white dress from baby phat alot Store: gadzooks, hot topic Book: Scribbler of Dreams by Mary Pierce Body part: hmmmm lips and eyes Taste: vanilla! ~What Brand of…~ Toothpaste: Crest Toothbrush: Oral B Bottled Water: Dasani Clothing: I really like the J-Lo line, and also Baby Phat designers Game System: Playstation 2 Tissue: ....pink ones wit pretty smells! or the kind from claires wit leopard print! Electronics: sony Ice Cream: Moo-llenium Crunch baby! Shoes: converse, vans, puma's Cologne/Perfume: CK, uuum PLeasures, lucky you brand, candies ~The Best…~ Ideal date(not the person): making out under niagra falls! (heh....that dreams a really old one....) Car: porshce, benz Day of the Year: Jan 21, Friday the 13th, but MOST importantly may 11 Holiday: Christmas, Halloween, July 4 Decade: the 70's and the 90's Way to save money: savings bond Way to spend money: cars, clothes, fun Way to pick up a date: flirt with him a little and act interested but not easy Place to pick up a date: in da club ( i lurve 50 cent) Pick-up line(must actually work): hi??? lol i never use lines! Way to tell someone you like them(crush): kiss them, pinch their booty....ha Way to tell someone you dislike them: act really cold and never talk to them Hairstyle on Guy: ashton kutcher-ish Hairstyle on Girl: hmmm i really like michelle branch's hair ~….Or….?~ Long or short: long Pretty and ditzy or Alright and intelligent: alright and intelligent Blonde or Brunette: brunette...well blondes too....it depends Crunchy or Smooth (peanut butter you sick git!): crunchy Damsel in Distress or Heroine: heroine Fred or George: Neither, i want Draco baby! Harry or Ron: I want DRACO! Apple juice or Orange juice: apple juice Deaf or blind: blind....your eyes can deceive you Now or later: NOW The more the better or just one, please: the more better Russia or the USSR: Russia ~Would you rather…~ On first date, fart or have something in your teeth the whole time? ew! fart...quietly Do the dirty deed in your parent’s bed or on a bench in Central Park? the bench baby Talk like Yoda or breathe like Darth Vadar for the rest of your life? talk like yoda, he's so cute Your mum not shave her legs or your father shave his? gross. i disown them both. Be invisible or have the ability to fly? ability to fly Die drowning or die in a fire? die in a fire. Get stoned or get drunk? stoned, as long as you haven't any yellow teeth Be eaten alive by the cast of Diff’rent Strokes or be hole-punched to death? eaten alive? Have sexual organs that glow red like ET’s heart when you are attracted to someone or have the faint sound of playground chatter constantly coming from your crotch? glowing organs Visit outer space or the deepest part of the ocean? outer space (and bring back a star for Kristy!!!) Be attacked by 10 rabid squirrels or poked to death(as in literally…)? poked...i guess Wear the same thing every day of your life or never cleanse yourself in anyway? oh gee....thats hard! i suppose....wear the same thing everday. Be able to fast-forward life or rewind it? rewind, definately. Have needles for leg hair or have flares shoot out of your nose every time you say “the” (ouch): nose flares...just dont say 'the' Know exactly how/when you are going to die or have your mouth stapled shut for 24 hours: know how i die, totally Hit every red light for the rest of your life or always be wrong? red light, i run them anyway Do everything upside down for the rest of your life or have a flying monkey attached to your back? MONKEY! Have your makeup tattooed to your face or have giant spiders expel from your mouth everytime you cough?: definately the monkey. If the world as we know it pretty much ended, leaving only you and one other person alive with the task of restarting civilization, who would you pick as your partner? (Remember: not only do you do the dirty deed with them you have to live with them for quite some time…) ~For Girls~ Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt Mark Wahlberg or Josh Hartnett? Josh Hartnett Harrison Ford or Sean Connery? Harrison Ford Harrison in “American Graffiti” or Harrison in “Indiana Jones”? American Grafitti Mark Wahlberg or Toby McGuire? Toby Macguire Fred or George? Bill. Harry or Ron? Bill. Ewan McGregor or Elijah Wood? Ewan McGregor Elijah Wood or Orlando Bloom? Elijah Wood Viggo Mortenson(sp and The guy who played Aragorn) or Elijah Wood? Elijah Wood Johnny Depp or Keanu Reeves? Keanu Reeves Robert Carmine or Taylor Locke (see the band members of Rooney)? Robert Carmine Louie Stevens or Robert Carmine? Robert Carmine Matthew or Ned? Matthew Robert Carmine or Michael Moscovitz(Robert played him in Princess Diaries)? Robert Carmine!!!! Brandon Boyd (lead singer of Incubus) or Nick Hexum (lead singer of 311)? Brandon Boyd Eminem or 50 Cent? Eminem. AC Slater or Zach Morris? Zach Morris Shane West or Tom Welling? Shane West Luke or Owen Wilson? Luke Wilson River Phoenix or Joaquin Phoenix? River Jared Padalecki or Milo Ventimiglia? Jared? Robert Carmine or Robert Carmine? Robert Carmine!!! ~For Guys~ Buffy or Xena? Buffy Britney or Christina? Britney Halle Berry or Janet Jackson? Halle Berry Demi Moore or Sheryl Crow? Sheryl Crow (Demi is so done) Lucy Lui or Cameron Diaz? Cameron Diaz Cameron or Drew Barrymore? Cameron Diaz Lucy or Drew? Drew Cher or Madonna? Madonna Pamela Anderson or Anna Nicole? Pamela Anderson. Venus or Serena Williams? Serena Jennifer Love Hewitt or Jennifer Lopez? Jennifer Love Hewitt Young blonde Mandy Moore or older short brunette Mandy? Young blonde Mandy Anna Kournikova or Courtney Love? Anna! Oprah or Rosie? Rosie Lisa Marie Presley or Jada Pinkett Smith? Lisa Marie Rogue or Jean Grey? Rogue Jean Grey or Storm? Storm Jean Grey or Mystique? Mystique Mary-Kate or Ashley? Ashley- Mary Kate is whiney. Hilary Duff or Amanda Bynes? Amanda Bynes Julia Roberts or Sandra Bullock? Julia Roberts Beyonce or Ashanti? Ashanti Selma Hayek or Catherine Zeta Jones? Catherine Zeta Jones Tyra Banks or Cindy Crawford? Tyra Banks ~If your could…~ Have any power what would it be?: Turn back time and change things Only eat one food for the rest of your life?: chicken caesar salad Fondle any celebrity?: totally ashton kutcher Shoot webbing out of your wrist, what would you do?: capture all the hotties Put anyone on the $3 bill, who would it be?: Kristy!! She's got that beautiful smile that just lights everything up! Own any one thing what would it be?: eminems house that use to belong to the CEO of k-mart Do the moneymaker for one person only, who would it be?: k-c If you could find a cure for any disease, what would it be?: cancer, lukemia specifically Be any TV or Movie character who would you be? i'd be elle woods in legally blonde, she so cute Be with Wolverine for one night, what would you do?: show him to all my friends! Be the best at something, what would it be? hmmmm hanky pank Go back and change any of the answers on this quiz, would you do it now?: nope. .::Confessional::.

More of the story [13 Jul 2003|12:25pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | 'I'll Be missing you' P.Diddy ] OK back to my story!!! Heh, I sound excited, but really this is sad. I guess I'm just happy I can get all this out. So anyway TJ hires this really good looking maid who claims to be 18. Kris hates her because she IS hot. But for awhile nothing is happening with the maid. And then suddenly out of nowhere- a fight. ANd TK begins fucking the maid, gross! You cannot screw the hired help, disgusting! TJ decides that instead of makin gup with Kris that he LIKES the maid, which is the object of many arguements between us. Me: anyway wat about u, Sara is a "friend of the family" now is she?? TJ: yep Me: amazing how, since she's associated to u, she takes kris' place so fast TJ: kristen neva hada place Me: i see TJ: i jus called her n shes at home Me: so how long until the maid is old news? TJ: we'l see Me: but she's not the maid ne more, yes? u got a new one, so she could be ur girlfriend, right? TJ: she could. Me: ur funny tj, u know? without tryin' to be even TJ: i kno its a gift Me: to make ppl laugh at u? TJ: laugh wit me Me: no no Me: im laughing at u buddy Me: ur the only guy Me: on the planet who would screw his maid and then Me: decide that his maid was more than a fuck buddy TJ: like ur one to talk Me: so then get a new maid Me: so u could be with the ex-maid and public ~~~ TJ: u kno girls have such double standards Me: double standards? Me: great Me: and wtf is that TJ: like it would be ok for u to fall in love wit some guy who was a billion times richer than u TJ: but heaven forbid its the other way around Me: thats not true TJ: u think wat u want TJ: it is too Me: lol money doesnt matter TJ: ur only pissed cuz its not kristy TJ: then y make fun of sara Me: im not making fun of her Me: i just think its funny Me: that she was ur maid SEE??? And thatr's just the friendly parts of it, without the name calling and yelling and so on. Anyway the fights with Kris and TJ continue, although those two are on and off, I figure as soon as the maid wears out, TJ will come back to her. But he didn't, infact he gave her all this stuff back, gave her some parting gifts, and a letter accompanied by what appeared to be a final goodbye. TJ was supposedly gone for good, with promises to me that Sara was the future. Kris cried non-stop. TJ leaves for Italy. He's with Sara. While he is gone Kris informs me that 'Sara' isn't really Sara. Kris: he wont stay with her. Me: oh this i know for a fact. Me: he and i had that lovely discussion. Kris: but she'll be the end of him. Me: ....now u have lost me Me: explain Kris: I found out who she is. Me: and? Kris: Alyssa Johnson. Kris: her family was killed. Kris: in a fire. Kris: that was delibrately set. Kris: she wasnt home. Kris: she'd spent the night at a friends house. Kris: they lived in a fairly nice house Kris: unfortunately, her Daddy was dabbling in illegal things Kris: with TJ's family. Kris: he owed them money Kris: lots of it. Kris: couldnt pay up Kris: stupidly insulted them to their faces Kris: and up in flames the house went Me: and tj doesnt realize who she is? Kris: nope, he wouldnt think to research. Kris is stubborn too, though. Never told TJ, so I decided I would. And when he did he claimed to have already known. Alyssa got caught, she tried to set TJ on fire. She's 'explaining' herself to TJ's dad's people. I think that means....she's dead. Tj comes back form Italy to 'fix' things but fixes nothing. He supposedly goes back to Italy, although it isn't true, he just said that to me so I wouldn't tell Kris he was still in town and ruin his 'plan'. It got ruined anyway becuz Tris squeeled which was good because I ended up needing to talk with TJ anyway. TJ comes back in the open. He's with Kris again, things are working out...except for one thing. All the drama with Kris' sister. Me: wat happened TJ: fight Me: yeah i know that. Me: wat was the big deal. TJ: darling kimberly gave her sister a gun and dared her to pull the trigger if 'life was so bad' Me: oh gee that was nice. Me: so wat'd u do about it? TJ: tristan had succesfuly intervened by the time i got here Me: see he's got his uses. TJ: ah but the funny thing was TJ: she pulled the trigger TJ: the gun wasnt loaded. Me: .... Me: wat if the gun had been loaded TJ: then she woulda had a bullet in her head Me: exactly.... Me: tj thats not a comforting thought TJ: i kno Following that TJ has a Doctor take a cast off the leg he broke. It's not healed, he knows. He does it anyway. But that doesn't matter. Kris is opening up to me, telling me secrets, deep ones. Which is good....I'm the only one she talks to.... Anyway her brother, who is freaking satanic, starts doing wierd things- saying some wierd stuff, right before the accident he does something particularly strange. Right after that TJ calls and says something about its for Kris' own good. Nothing makes sense. Then, TJ gets scraped off the road. The car explodes. Whoever was in it died upon impact, surely, if not- they were burned alive. DNA tests couldn't be done, the 'remains' were too charred. It could have been anyone in the car. But NO ONE gets in TJ's cars. Not one person except him. He loves those cars. No one has seen him since the accident....but it doesn't add up becuz TJ is NOOOOOOT the dying type. He would never just die. Me and Kris stand alone in the belief. She refuses to accept his death....and in many ways, I do too. .::Confessional::.

Life...Is....So....Hectic [12 Jul 2003|09:40pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | That's Where You Take Me- Britney Spears ] Like the subby says- life is hectic. I haven't been around in a good long while. SO much has happened, it will take forever and lovely year to explain but since this is my journal I supposed I deserve to. First off one night Kris and I got in a fight and I decided that I was very angry and she needed an attitude adjustment and therefore was going to drive to New York and kick her in the booty. I don't know WHAT I was thinking but BEFORE driving I DELIBRATELY broke my promise to myself, got high, and then DROVE. I must have been PISSED. Anyway, I crashed. I was hospitalized for a whole friggin month even though I came out of my coma within the first week. I suffered some memory loss but I'm all squeky clean now, the doctors fixed me up. When I came back...Kris was so upset, apparently my neighbor had told her I died and did not get the chance to tell her otherwise and that I had made it. Me suddenly appearing was pain all over again for her, poor thing. Anyway she can't take much more loss, it's all over- she's been pushing me away. And then TJ 'died' except like me, that was false information. He too crashed and was in a coma. Alot of that seems to be happening. He woke up miraculously after three days and they let HIM leave....I can't believe that. But he suffered no memory loss...just a broken leg. Ugh, and stupid him, the broken leg did not keep him from driving his motorcycle or car or getting laid. The dork. Following this, TJ fires the maid. Tj decides he needs a new maid and he hires some little hottie that kris hates. 'Nuff said. Oh and he's supposedly dead again...more explaining tomorrow. I promise. .::Confessional::.

I talked to TJ again, Just now! [29 Mar 2003|10:49am] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | 'Journey to the Past' Aaliyah ] I love this guy, why Kris got rid of him I don't know. He's so useful! And considerate, he got on this morning to gimme a heads up. Melanie: she didn't die right??? TJ: shes alive Melanie: good! right after you left she started talking about that fucking treehouse, and so I just hoped she didn't do anything stupid. TJ: ya, thats where i found her Melanie: she isn't like in the hospital or anything right? TJ: no Melanie: she was so mad last night, and i don't even know why TJ: she angry with the world Melanie: she wouldn't promise me that she wouldn't do anything to herself last night, some bullshit about she doesn't make promises and that even if she did they wouldn't mean anything TJ: oh ya, she doesnt do the promise thing nemore. hasnt since the end of the summer Melanie: that was severely irritating. and she goes on more bullshit about no such thing as friends and no such thing as love and life is a game and blah blah blah.....what, do you guys brainwash people where you live? it's virtually impossible to convince her otherwise. TJ: i dont brainwash neone Melanie: i didn't say you specifically dearest, i ment in general TJ: i c Melanie: her outlook on life is so fucked up and she keeps threatening to kill herself, which is unnerving, but i kinda think if she was going to she would have done it already TJ: she always tries, neva works. its her curse TJ: thats what she says it is at least Melanie: Kris thinks she's cursed and that she's bad luck, she thinks all the bad stuff that happened to me is her fault. In fact, she thinks everything that goes wrong is because of her. TJ: she writes about that shit in her diary TJ: how everythin thats eva happened is cuz of her Melanie: why does she think that? Melanie: who told her that it was her fault? TJ: ky started in on her when he was alive Melanie: oh, him again. Have you ever seen the story she wrote online about her life?? TJ: she wrote somethin bout it? Melanie: uh huh http://geocities.com/squared_sweetness Melanie: she wrote like the whole thing out, i think she should be a writer TJ: shes guna be a lawyer TJ: supposed to be a doctor but she doesnt like blood very much so they decided lawyer Melanie: Her mom says she's going to be lawyer, so therefore I guess that's what she has to be. She isn't cut out for that though, she doesn't like arguing and she dodges and questions like nothing else. TJ: ya TJ: i g2g, i got lacrosse practice Melanie: ok buh bye TJ: if ur waiting to talk to her, its guna be awhile cuz i slipped her sleeping pills Melanie: oh so thats where she is TJ: she'll be out for at least another two hourss Melanie: sleeping is good she hasn't in awhile TJ: i kno Melanie: alright then, thanks TJ: peace out TJ signed off at 10:48:25 AM. .::Confessional::.

Writing Journal [29 Mar 2003|10:12am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | 'The Voice Within' Christina Aguilera ] I've created a writing Journal, where I post all the stories I write. The current story in progress is called Blinking Sunshine. For more info about the journal visit: http://blurty.com/users/flickeringout As far as my life has been going....well it's going. I talked with my friends boyfriend on IM last night, I found out things I DID NOT KNOW. Have a look-sie: Melanie: ...TJ? TJ: y must u bother me Melanie: i just wanted to tell you im sorry TJ: for wat Melanie: well....about Kris. I told her not to do that stupid crap, but did she listen? no. I guess when I wrote you that letter I didn't really know what I was talking about, I didn't know she would be stupid. TJ: she realy does tell u all her shit doesnt shee Melanie: yes, she does. Melanie: um but about initiation night Melanie: i didn't know about that really Melanie: until a week ago TJ: i knew it Melanie: i think that was really cool of you, to stick up for her like that TJ: ur the only one she talks 2 nemore TJ: not that she eva realy talked 2 me Melanie: TJ....she misses you, she won't admit it but it's painfully obvious. TJ: good Melanie: What she did to Tristan, she did out of spite, thinking that she'd show you all, and I told her that there was no way. There is only one of her, after all. But even when she was doing all that stuff she still said she loved you. TJ: let her do wat she wants then Melanie: She's confused, you have to help her TJ< she doesn't know what she's doing. She's going to get trampled on. TJ: nah she can handal it Melanie: No, she can't. TJ: can Melanie: she's falling apart Melanie: she doesn't know what she's doing Melanie: her mom is up her ass Melanie: kimmy is being her usual...self TJ: haha kimmy Melanie: and Tristan, god the fact that he is in the same house... TJ: that lil chick is funny Melanie: I hear she's the devil. TJ: ha she sits around n glares. its not guna take her long 2 hit the top of da ladder Melanie: God, I thought all of that stupid social crap was just talk until I had to go to a private school. I don't like being popular, it's very, very annoying. How do you live with it? TJ: always have Melanie: I'm going to toss myself out the window if I don't quit being admired. But I'm off subject....Kris. She needs you, I'm afraid something bad will happen if you aren't around. TJ: she did it 2 herself TJ: bad stuff already happened n shes dealin wit it Melanie: Exactly. Which is why she needs you. She can't hack it on her own. TJ: tough shit Melanie: Oh come on, if something really bad happened would you just sit about and watch?? TJ: im sure u heard all bout this week n i really didnt do nething bout it Melanie: TJ, she's turning into a whore. Don't let her destroy herself, she's like her own worst enemy and doesn't even know it. TJ: not my fault TJ: i told her not 2whore herself Melanie: I know. It's her fault. I told her not to be planning things because you're not that stupid and she's not that sneaky. But no, I've only always been right, I couldn't be right again, could I? Wrong, and I was. But the point is, forgive and forget, she didn't mean it. She doesn't know what she's doing. TJ: i knew wat she was doin the whole time its actualy funny Melanie: But....she loves you. Doesn't that count for anything? TJ: shed do it again if she could Melanie: But she CAN'T is the point. She just is so tired of not having control over her life. I mean it was her parents then Kyle then Nicky and then you (I probably skipped some stuff, she has too much to keep up with) she just wants to know that she has a say in where things go, regarding her. TJ: she just wants 2 die at this 'point' Melanie: She doesn't deserve that easy of a way out, in my personal opinion. TJ: which apparently u dont seem 2 kno bout TJ: she keeps a diary, she thinks she had it hidden Melanie: TJ, i thought we went through this, she tells me a whole lot of oh...... everything. TJ: its in her 2nd drawer in the back of the closet Melanie: you stole her diary? TJ: under a bunch of shirts TJ: and inside of it...is a lot Melanie: ....She didn't tell me all of that TJ: she has all these notes tucked inside da back of it TJ: in this little folder thing TJ: theyre all suicide notes TJ: n theres this one special one she keeps 4 her brother TJ: the other ones always change whenever she writes new ones, but not that one Melanie: ......i knew she was suicidal but....omg TJ: then theres one another one for ky, but she wrote that one last yr Melanie: If she died....I don't know what I would do. TJ: she wont, she cant Melanie: So she says, if she keeps trying what she's been trying she's likely to push herself off the edge. Melanie: She's not invincible. TJ: so she does keep secrets from u, thats funny Melanie: .....Just that one, I hope. Melanie: Wow....I thought I knew everything there was to know. I mean, I was assuming she was half way sane. TJ: she cuts her self all the time 2. she doesnt think i kno Melanie: I told her not to do that. Once again, she didn't listen. TJ: and on her ankle she carved in peters name. that was a while ago TJ: the scars there Melanie: She told me that. She's mental. Melanie: You're all she has, you know. TJ: whenever she gets upset she goes 2 that fuckin treehouse Melanie: That treehouse is going to get destroyed. TJ: she sits there in da middle of lightening storms TJ: in the dark TJ: she tortures herslef with it TJ: she hates the dark Melanie: Well, trust me, it won't be around much longer. TJ: how do u kno Melanie: I give it 3 months, after 3 months its gone. Melanie: Insight. TJ: whateva Melanie: You're not the only one who knows things. Melanie: Don't desert her, please?? Melanie: She needs you, she doesn't know, but she does. TJ: im tryin to think what else shes probly hidden from u Melanie: She loves you but she also think that everything she touches gets destroyed, which is why she won't let me see her anymore. TJ: prolbly all the guys shes fucked, purposely or not bet she hasnt told u bout them Melanie: mmmmm most of them I think TJ: she never sleeps, she avoids it at all costss Melanie: Chris, Carson, You (oh yes, I've heard details), Nicky, guy on vacation...Kyle TJ: multiply that number by like 2 n u prolly have an acurate numba Melanie: Damn. Melanie: She's gonna get pregnant and then we'll see how much her mom likes her. TJ: i dont think so. shes on the pill and i dont think she even gets that period shit nemore Melanie: Oh yeah, her eating disorder. Melanie: God, so many problems how is anyone supposed to help her?? TJ: no one can Melanie: I can. I just have to figure out how. It's nuts, she won't let me see her. TJ: u shoukld see her @ school TJ: shes good @ hidind things Melanie: Your school is about like mine, except our group doesn't function as a unit, or whatever Kris called it. Melanie: We're all trying to stomp each other out of existance. TJ: thats fucked up how do u eva get nething done Melanie: Um, well it's simple if you get used it. Make friends, don't get raped. Melanie: It's that easy, if you just play it off. TJ: whateva Melanie: Look...help her, please? I mean even if she doesn't die, she could get horribly hurt. Melanie: Make her listen to you, it isn't like you can't do it. TJ: as fun as this all is, i gotta jet theres some ppl i gotta go meet n shit TJ: peace Melanie: bye TJ signed off at 10:18:41 PM. Then he came back online.... Melanie: hey i know im annoying but i got one last question TJ: wat Melanie: if u knew Kris was doing all this stuff why didn't you make her stop? TJ: she didnt kno that i knew TJ: she'd just get mad Melanie: so you'd let her screw herself over as opposed to her getting mad?? TJ: i watch her TJ: i always do Melanie: ....She gets mad at me everytime we talk, we're still friends. TJ: when shes njot lookin Melanie: well, whatever happens....I think it'd be better if you were there TJ: i follow her into the woods all the time TJ: when she thinks shes alone TJ: she prays outloud Melanie: ....prays? i thought she didn't believe in God. TJ: its fuckin sad when she does that TJ: i hate watching it TJ: but i do, i gotta make sure she doesnt do stupid shit Melanie: OK, for the record, carving someones name in her ankle was pretty stupid TJ: she did that a long time ago, last spring Melanie: cutting herself in general is kinda dumb, TJ. you don't realize how much influence you have on her. TJ: oh well Melanie: But you wouldn't let her do anything really dumb, right? That is what your saying right? TJ: probly not Melanie: oh, thats comforting. I wish you two would just make up, it was so much better and safer when you were there. TJ: not really Melanie: But it was, she was different around you. She was happy. TJ: she did this to herself Melanie: Yes, I know, and she doesn't deserve you back blah blah blah. Can we skip this part and get to the part where you realize that you should be the bigger person??? TJ: id rather not Melanie: Oh right, that New York humor, I keep forgetting. Melanie: well, watch her tonight Melanie: she's up to soemthing TJ: wats she up to Melanie: I don't know, she won't tell me. She's being pissy with me because I am telling her to stop her shit. But she's acting like she's got something up her sleeve that's going to piss me off severely, and that usually means she's going to hurt herself, always does. TJ: shes so fuckin difficult Melanie: I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. It's like she wants things to get worse and never be easy. TJ: its because shes never had things the way she wanted them TJ: she doesnt know wat to do Melanie: I know where she comes from, as far as never getting to have her own way. I think I got to run my life for all of five minutes in between different people taking control. But she....ugh she puts obstacles in her way on purpose, its annoying. Melanie: Phone ringing off the hook?? TJ: y, yes it is Melanie: that usually means pick it up TJ: id really rather not Melanie: what? afraid she's gonna jump through the phone? TJ: no im betting shes pissed about some kinda shit TJ: i just dont feel like talkin to her Melanie: She is. She's practically raving at me. Melanie: Kris: i want to fucking scream right now TJ: haha she wont scream Melanie: Kris: tell him to pick up his fucking phone Melanie: i think she's close to breaking something TJ: she doesnt break things, only herslef Melanie: so I've noticed, someone needs to by her like vases to throw at the wall or something TJ: not her style. ill go ova lata and make sure she doesnt hang herself Melanie: alright, i'd throw a fit if she died or had to go to the hospital, i almost lost it when she had to get her stomach pumped TJ: i remember that Melanie: she didn't bother to tell me about that Melanie: she happened to accidently mention it and then not talk about it until i made her TJ: she got in a lot of trouble for that TJ: her parents want to send her back to england, been telling her since then. Melanie: yes, because her mom was pissed that it would "tarnish the family name" Melanie: someone should shove a sock down her moms throat TJ: they fight alot lately Melanie: Yeah, her mom is mad because her GPA is only 95.7, which is pretty high, most people don't have that, what does her mom want her to be perfect?? TJ: cuz she was perfect for da longest time TJ: now shes not answering her fuckin phone TJ: im out, i wanna shower be4 i go TJ: peace Melanie: kk bye TJ signed off at 11:30:48 PM. ::sigh:: the things I do for people. .::Confessional::.

Survey! [22 Mar 2003|11:00am] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | 'All You Wanted' Michelle Branch ] -What are you thinking right now?- I am thinking about Brock and what I should do and...something else. -What do you think of life?- I think life is a funny thing, it's a series of events and obstacles. Take them as you go. -What do you think of racism?- Racism is stupid. KKK can kiss my white ass. I think you can be tight no matter what you're race. -What do you think of religion?- It's not what you have faith in, just that you have faith. -What do you think of death?- As long as it isn't painful, it isn't scary. -What do you think of drugs?- Well, I've done drugs and they are an escape. You just have to be careful. I wasn't, and I can never be, I don't have that kind of control. If you can be responsible with it, then it is your body and your choice I suppose. -What do you think of legalizing marijuana?- It's an excuse for all the greasy loadies to act like they have a cause. -What do you think of alcohol?- I hate being drunk, but social drinking isn't something I mind, although I have been known to be really smashed. -What do you think of getting drunk?- Like I said, I hate being drunk because I act stupid. And in the morning...ugh. -What do you think of drunk people?- Easy to use and manipulate for my own entertainment. Oh come on, I'm SO kidding. They are just....drunk, I guess. -What do you think of acid?- Heh, that was my drug of choice only weeks ago, now I am recovering from it...sometimes I feel that need to escape...but my dealer is gone anyway. -What do you think of heroin?- I don't think anyone should mess with that heavy shit... -What do you think of LSD?- Acid and LSD are the same thing, fucking retards. -What do you think of snorting coke?- I had a friend who did this and she got really mean and stupid when she did and now her life is ruined so thats also something I'd stay away from. -What do you think of emo?- That's a band right? Never heard their music. -What do you think of punk?- As a style- meh, to each their own. Will dressed like this and he could pull it off but alot of people can't. As music- it kicks ass! Although, I can't tell anyone that... -What do you think of goth?- What...are they depressed....or color phobic? Actaully, I like black. But...Ok even for me, that can be a BIT much. -What to you think of preps?- All my friends are preps. So I best keep my mouth shut. -What do you think of rednecks?- *coughGEORGEBUSHcough* -What do you think of nerds?- I wish I had their study skills! But other than that....what, do they want to flood? But actually, they do have their substance to them. -What do you think of dorks?- A dork to me is someone with just an intolerable personality who just thinks they are all of that and they aren't because they are wannabes in our group even though they won't admit it and I think they need a life. -What do you think of the drama/theater folks?- I think they have alot of creativity, even if they don't like me. -What do you think of the artsy kids?- I think sometimes they go to far. But...it's good to solor outside the lines. -What do you think of the stoners?- really stupid. really greasy. -What do you think of the whiggas?- I love my Eminem! -What do you think of hippies?- I think that the 60's are over. -What do you think of freaks?- Mmmmmm....they're scary. really scary. Like ME!!! -What do you think of sex?- I love sex. it kicks ass. Ha....whore-y much? -What do you think of boys?- Boy kick ass too, hotties anyway. -What do you think of girls?- I've been down this road, and nothing has happened in awhile. I think girls can be my friends, I don't know about anything else. -What do you think of gay men?- Brock...my friend...I don't know what I think I am trying to figure it out. -What do you think of lesbians?- I don't mind this, but why guys give me little freaky feelings I don't know. -What do you think of cross-dressers?- I hate to discriminate but I am so phobic of that. -What do you think of surgically changing your gender?- Again, phobic. -What do you think of men growing breast? PHOBIC! -What do you think of masturbation?- It's awesome for when your boyfriend isn't around. (OH JESUS- I was kidding. PERV!) -What do you think of people who cry a lot?- I wish I could cry....but I must be strong for others. -What if it's your girlfriend/boyfriend?- I made Will cry and it tore me apart. Byron...I don't think Byron cries. -What do you think of boyfriend/girlfriend?- My current one is kick ass. And I think the whole hook up thing is a neccesary element to high school. -What do you think of couples?- They are to be sabotaged! Unless it's mine :) -What do you think of people who dress in stripper-like clothes in public?- I think they need attention. -What do you think of people who dye their hair?- I dye my hair, there isn't anything wrong with it. -What do you think of people with mohawks?- I think they should plead insanity. -What if it's a girl?- ....God help us. -What do you think of people who smoke cigs?- It makes you stink and your teeth yellow. Ugh. -What do you think of people who are in jail?- I hope they don't get raped... -What do you think of rapists?- Byron raped me, but it was my fault, so it's OK. I don't really fancy them, but Byron and me was different if I wouldn't have been being stupid it never would have happened. -What do you think of reporters?- They do their job but hurt people's feelings and are nosey. -What do you think of famous people?- Lucky. -What do you think of fat people?- I think they needa go on a diet, but what I consider fat is like 400 lbs, not just some overweight person, that isn't fat. -What do you think of skinny people?- Nothing, unless they are to skinny. Then they need to eat. -What do you think of short people?- Short people are fine. -What do you think of tall people?- Tall people are cool. -What did you think of this survey?- I didn't get the point...was it to see what I thought of people....? -What are you thinking now?- What am I going to do about Brock! .::Confessional::.

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