Alyssa's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

So have you been to a place like this? To see your breath as it paints against the sky
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[August 19th, 2012]
I think I saw you in my dreams you were
Stitching up the seams on every mangled promise
That your body couldn't keep.
I think I saw you in my sleep.

[June 4th, 2012]
You looked happy
and thats great.
I just miss you.

that's all

[November 18th, 2011]
i miss you blurty -_-
when im up late at night and cant sleep, i think about coming to write to you. but im too lazy sometimes.
i just read some entries from 4 years ago! and i feel like they were only yesterday. ive been stuck in a cycle for years... which im realizing isnt a cycle, its my life. which is sad. im scared, i dont know what choices to make anymore.

[July 29th, 2011]
i have never been so unhappy with my life then i am right now.
i wish i could go back 4 years ago, hell even a year ago!

ive officially isolated myself from the world.
i am for once completely alone.
i hate it.

[May 15th, 2011]
I am sick to my stomach right now. Its that feeling when I know I need to let go. And I'm thinking "oh how will I live?" I'm going to fine. I was before, I am going to be stronger now. Obviously, he's not the right one. Ill go through many of those in my life, I'm sure. Stop thinking every relationship "is the one." Most likely isn't. No one will be. Its okay though.

Even though, I love james.
I can't compete though.
We're done.
Never really began.
Nothing else to say.
A bit devastated.
Really is a one of a kind.
Its not my fault.

[March 11th, 2011]
i am finally on a real computer. therefore i can type better/more to you my dear blurty.
so how much has gone wrong, but yet i feel okay. im starting to find myself a little more. discovering what i want out of life. i want off this island. the last four years of my life passed by in such an instant there was much more i should of done. so i need to make a change NOW. whether im going alone or not,

[March 7th, 2011]
Steady feet don't fail me now.

[January 10th, 2011]
This trip to california, is going to be my last.
I officially will never forgive my father. Or annette.
To talk bad about my mother, while your drunk and you know nothing about her..
This bitch is lucky I didn't go in there and spit in her face.
I hate spitting, it is the worst and most disgusting thing you can do.
But that is exactly why I would do it.
You are the most disgusting woman I've met.
And richie, I hate you just as much.

[December 12th, 2010]
i hate the person i became..

[November 25th, 2010]
me and james, are over.
what a weird feeling..i pictured the next few years of my life with him and that went down the drain.
even the next few months.
my stomach is in knots just typing this.
it's been almost a week and still un-real,
i can barely sleep. the thought of us not together is constantly eating at me,
i can't picture myself not loving him, no matter who im with.,

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