|
well its been like a light year and a half since i've been on here, and the world has turned up side down and all around and has kept spinning and has left me here... its been what, 8 months... yea alot has happend, and alot i dont wanna repeat or talk about... some if they are reading this would know, and the crazy thing is, it still impacts me everyday, even when i don't wanna think about it or dream about it, or fear it would ever happen again. it sucks... well major points in the past 8 months, katie and i broke up... don't wanna go there(hince all what i was talking about before) i left liberty after doing sorta bad, well yea bad, but it wasn't a waste cuz i made some good relationships even though it seemed i lost the only one i ever cared about, and well iam still at a lose with that one... but what can you do but just live on... it you matter to someone, they will show it... thats my theory... but anyways, summer was ok, two jobs sucked, but i was tryin to save money, and that fell through the roof cuz iam horrible at that... so i couldn't go back to liberty, i got depressed, went through alot of things,and ended up at this community college here at home, got another job, got forced resigned from that, got another job, its pretty chill, been playing music and writing a lot cuz thats all that seems to mellow me out... it evens out everything so to speak... i just escape, into fantasy or regret or dreadful things... idk, its ok... i've tried to keep in close contact with my good friends at liberty, not too many, only a couple or one really... its hard being away, cuz all you think about is being there and ACTUALLY seeing that person or whatnot, but iam goin back soon... but in all this year has been crazy... and if your reading this, then you might have an idea cuz you've probably talked to me since feburary... but iam gonna shut up, cuz this is a mother of all journal entries, but you know, when i have something to say, i say it... so in the end, iam moving on from alot of things, especially from alot of things that once were and never gonna be again, or change, cuz i can't change them, i wasn't the one who changed them to begin with, so i don't know where to start to begin to make things better, i can't force someone to do something they wouldn't do naturally or want to do, and it seems they dont want too, so yea, iam shutting up, and i swear this is the last time i bring that up or mention it, cuz its not important anymore... so anywayz, take care and good day, and my fingers hurt... so im out - Aaron C*
|