Lots of changes. New blog. Comment or email for link of the new blog.

*mwah*

Dear Internet,

Thank you for being a pain in the ass to the universe so the school would finally send me the paperwork I needed to get started. It arrived today. I just may be able to start school yet.

Ever impatiently yours,
snow

Tonight R and I went for an eye exam.

This is not normally noteworthy, but it was actually quite entertaining. The guy answered all of R's questions and mine. He was kind of dorky, in an eye doctor sort of way, but funny. He showed off the fancy-pants equipment they had and how it worked. Plus he talked to me about my mom's eye problems and how it happens and how her particular eye problem is fascinating and exciting to students and doctors alike. And he talked about a spincter muscle in the eye. And because I am five years old, I had to really fight to keep from giggling.

I am totally going to fail the anatomy class I'll have to take.

Also, because I am five years old, I have been enjoying this. Heh.

Anyway, I am getting new glasses. R never really liked the thick brown framed glasses I have now, and I'm not up to the expense of the contact lenses I need (the price still hasn't come down at the place we go to). So, new glasses are in my future, with magnetized sunglasses on them. Saving money on needing prescription sunglasses, I hope. I also hope I don't lose them.

The plan was for me to go back to school in the fall. I applied late and have not gotten word back from the school, which means I can't sign up for orientation, which means I can't register for classes. The classes I need before I can take the radiology classes are all full. This means I may not be going back to school in the fall. Foo. This means you are safe for six more months from having me take your x-rays.

Item number 8,438 on my list of things I want to do before I die:

See a real live hippo in person.

Now there are a few ways to accomplish this. Go to a zoo (not my favorite idea), or go to Africa. I hate hot weather.

What is a girl to do?

I have written and deleted about 15 different posts in the past month. I've lost a lot of ambition for many things lately, but something happened this week to change that. Before I get into that, I need to catch you up on some highlights. Because I know you care. With every ounce of your being.

We went camping a couple of weeks ago and it was wonderful. I have pictures of ducks and fish and lakes and trees. Yes, we camped with people (my whole damn family as a matter of fact), but I didn't get many pictures of them. R caught lots of fishies (we ate two that were quite tasty). I read three books (including Pamela Anderson's latest book - don't worry. I balanced it out with a history of Krakatoa.).

Before we went, I had a bad cold that turned into bronchitis. I couldn't go to the gym because I couldn't take deep breaths without coughing and gasping for air. It was around a month before I went back (between being sick and the vacation). I now feel like a lump. A blob. It doesn't help that I'm PMSing like crazy and I'm crampy and bloated and achey and exhausted and depressed.

Anyway.

I did intend to write about some happy things here. :)

I'm starting school in the fall. I'm nervous, but so very excited. I'm really unhappy in my current job, and have been for years, but haven't been able to figure out what I really want to do. I do like computers, but I like them more as a hobby and not as a job, I've found. I want to do something for the greater good and not just for profit, if that makes sense. And, yes, I realize that health care is moving more towards profit in many areas.

There are a variety of specific things that have made me disatisified with my job of late, but I won't outline them here. If you talk to me, you already know. If I haven't had this conversation with you, really, I'll spare you unless you're really curious. I'll leave it at, "I need to be doing something useful for the greater good."

I'm taking one class next semester, since R is in school and we can't afford two scholars. I'm now debating between two places. If I go to one school to get my math and biology classes out of the way, it will be much cheaper. I'd like to take as many as possible at this cheaper college, and transfer to the UofM to do the classes directly related to my major.

Oh, what am I majoring in? Radiation Therapy. So, not just x-rays, but cancer treatments.

I'm very excited.

Some more details are going to be solidified this weekend when I can focus on it.

I have become domesticated.

I am making curtains. CURTAINS. No longer will we have the white-trash curtains (t-shirt sheets folded over and hung by, lord help me, clothes pins).

No more! we will now have embroidered silk curtains that I have made by my own little hands. It has taken me approximately one full week to make two panels for one window. Granted, I have spent yesterday and today watching V.I.P. Season 1 while working on it. So I tend to get distracted from working on anything and tend to watch the show to find all the editing flaws and laugh. Man, I love that show.

Anyway.

Curtains. Lovely. Yes. Pictures will be up on flickr.

In other news, I think I have strep throat. Who gets strep throat on a long weekend? Criminy.

The big cleaning has begun. Sort of.

Yesterday we drove all over the Twin Cities area (really), buying fabric, curtain rods, and other various shopping and picture taking excursions.

We found the most beautiful fabric for the bedroom curtains. It's a pale blue silk with embroidered flowers and branches on it. Gorgeous. Five yards of it. Unfortunately, it was not one of the decorator fabrics marked 60% off. But the lady who cut the fabric for us was SO VERY NICE and gave us a 50% off coupon. She saved us so much money, it paid for the curtain rods (which R picked out and are really nice looking).

Pictures will be posted because, if they turn out, I want to say, "I made that!" And if they don't turn out, please laugh with me.

It's the yearly birthday post. Tomorrow I turn 29.

My eldest sister is turning 40 this year.

It's a big year.

My middle sister has lied all her life about her age. She tries to say she's 24, but she does not look 13 years younger than what she is.

Last year at this time.... I can't really remember anything of note.

This year I've been working out at least four times a week since December. I'm down a pants size and a bra size. I read more. I watch TV less (R would probably aruge that, but it's true).

I am, however, more irritated by EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I'd think it was everyone else being pains in the ass, but since it's EVERYONE, it must be ME. Bah.

I have lost coherency in my written word. I don't write anymore. Anything I write here is short snippets of things in my head. I need to get back to writing again.

I worry I have fried my brain with 10 years of antidepressants, ADD meds, and anti-anxiety medication. (OK, the antidepressants have been going on most of the 10 years, the ADD meds off and on for 8 years, and the anti-anxiety meds had a two year stint starting about six years ago). My brain is not the same as it used to be.

I want a Nintendo DS to play that brain game. I'm a sucker for marketing, and dammit, I'm a sucker for games like that. I love games like that. I love Gameboy. I want them both.

One thing I want to be able to do by my 30th birthday: jog a mile. It's not small feat. Between my being so out of shape and having a large rack, running has not been a part of my life. So, that's my goal. Whether that means getting a breast reduction or losing 100 pounds, one way or another, I will jog. (As to why I have this goal? I have no idea. I hate running. I just want to say I can.)

This week I'll be scheduling an appointment with the eye doctor. New contacts (first pair in years) and new glasses. With a new prescription. My eyes are really getting worse. Maybe I'll for for Elton John style glasses. They would suit my big, round head.

The only other goal I need to work on before my 30th birthday is to read more biographies. I haven't read any yet this year, and that was my new year's resolution. There are too many other books I wanted to read first.

As I write this, the weather outside is gorgeous. It is truly my idea of a perfect day to be outside. Puffy white clouds. Baby blue sky. Bright green trees. A breeze. It's 68. Perfect.

I'm working on getting the drive to go to the grocery store, office supply store, and the butcher. Come home to do laundry, clean the office, and make supper.

It's 2:00.

The day started off early enough. I listened to the latest book on the iPod (Kitchen Confidential - the book itself is pretty good, but good God, Mr. Bourdain, please keep your mouth near the microphone for the whole sentence. He fades in at the beginning of the sentaece, and fades out at the end. SO ANNOYING. Also? That man looks nothing like I expected him to look based on the sound of his voice alone.

Anyway. Where was I? Ah, listened to the book, had some very good sex, and have puttered around ever since.

Sundays are awesome days for that.

R is supposed to be studying for finals. He sat down at the table with me where I was reading. Opened up his book for five minutes, and then disappeared. I should read his textbooks to him in his sleep at night and see if that improves his grades on tests.

On that note, I'm off to make grocery lists and change into clothes suitable for public view (yay for laundry day and bad fashion choices).

Thanks to the sometimes hilarious kid with the extraordinarily vivid imagination, I now have a domain name I will be registering soon (at least by the end of the weekend). He's very creative.

If anybody takes it, I'll be very, very sad. And pissed.

And now I have to figure out what all to put on it besides pictures of my cats.

(see, that's funny because I don't have any cats)

So today I made a decision. Well, not a decision as much as a declarative statement to see how it sounds outside my head.

I think I want to go back to school to be a radiology technician. I'd get to do ultrasounds and x-ray bones. How cool would that be?

Now that I'm an adult, I can't attend career day anymore. Yet, it would seem kind of lame of me to walk into the radiology center where I had my ultrasound done and ask if I could job shadow someone or ask some questions about their job.

No. What I need to do is break a bone and interview the tech who x-rays me. Yes. That's totally the way to go.

It's been raining all day and it has been gray and gloomy all day. It's affected my mood, but what doesn't?

I've spent the past couple of hours reading, and just finished a book where the basic theme for one of the characters was 'life doesn't always turn out like you wanted.' It got me to thinking what I thought my life was going to be.

I had two ideas. One was that I'd be dead by time I was 25. I had no idea how or why, just that I'd be dead. I was in third grade and firmly believed it back then. I have a fantasy of being on my death bead and everything. I've shared that little fantasy with two other people in my life (possibly three). The scary part? One of the people I told HAD THE SAME FANTASY. Freaky. Anyway.

The other one was that I was going to marry wealthy, live in the big houses in the 'big city' near where I grew up (which is laughable now that I think about it considering the cithy had only 25,000 people at that time). I would have two kids before I was 30, because I didn't want to be an older parent. I'd be a lawyer (I'm good at arguing, but there is no way in hell I could be a lawyer). I'd also be thin and blonde and would learn to like jogging.

I did not marry wealthy. We live in the Twin Cities area, which is far bigger than the 'big city' I'd thought I'd end up in. We live in a decent apartment, but one that is really grating on my nerves and I'd like to move, preferably to a house, but you take what you can get. We have no kids, and I'm pretty sure we won't be having one within the next year (my goodness, I'll be 30 next year). I am not a lawyer. I am not thin, nor blonde, and I hate jogging. I will never like jogging. Unless I get a breast reduction surgery, I will never even start jogging unless I'm being chased by a bear or a maniac with a knife.

I had a point when I started writing this, but I've forgotten what it was.

So now, instead of focusing on the gloomy sky, the puddles speckled with rain drops, and the shadows that have been in the living room all afternoon, I'm going to look at the buds on the trees, the so green it's almost glowing grass, and the fact that the bare trees are filling in and blocking the view of the ugly ass view out the kitchen window.

There are a lot of things I'm thankful for (for one, my husband correcting my constant use of "there's" instead of "there are"). Even when my family gets me worked up into a tearful, tiny fist shaking rage. Even when I get myself worked up over the fact that R is in school and I'm not. I'm thankful for a lot.

Also. This is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

If I take a certain way home from work, I pass by a street that has a dead end at a Bingo Hall.

I drove past this street at 4:05 pm. There was a traffic jam of old people.

It's a small intersection, not meant to hold more than 20 cars total, I'd estimate. But, no. Old folks were ignoring the red lights and tearing across the intersection. And people were following the people ahead of them, not seeing the red lights for themselves.

Plus it was pouring rain.

It's a frickin' miracle there wasn't an accident.

I AM: Fucking exhausted.
I WANT: A steak. I'm craving beef.
I WISH: I didn't have to work and was independantly wealthy.
I HATE: Everything.
I MISS: Mike.
I HEAR: Birds chirping and R making supper.
I WONDER: Will it ever be fixed?
I REGRET: Not a lot.
I AM NOT: Patient.
I DANCE: Rarely.
I SING: like a dying cow.
I CRY: Before I can act.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: Aware of myself.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: havoc.
I WRITE: in a lovely notebook.
I CONFUSE: my memories.
I NEED: to SLEEP.
I SHOULD: be a better person.
I START: easily.
I FINISH: rarely.

I have 30 minutes until I can leave to go get my temporary crown put back on my tooth.

I'm such a wimp.

The cold air when I breathe through my mouth or yawn? Hurts. Drinking room tempature water? Hurts. Cottage cheese? Hurts. There is an exposed nerve or something coming out of that molar that is driving me bananas.

30 more minutes.

Last week I was in Vegas for a few days for a work conference. Everyone keeps asking what I did in Vegas and if I had fun. I didn't do a lot. I stayed at THEhotel (Mandalay Bay's swanky hotel), which I highly recommend. The tub alone is worth the trip. I trekked around Luxor and Mandalay Bay properties. I'm not a gambler. Non-casinos were closed in the mornings when I had time to go wandering. I did read two and a half books on the plane rides there and back. (Emma & Me was pretty good. I don't really recommend Whatever Makes You Happy, though).

Today was a long day at work. Almost 12 hours. Things break down. Things get fixed. Things get installed. Meanwhile, the other 2/3 of my job continues to be neglected because of firefighting and projects. It stresses me out to no end. A friend of mine keeps sending me job postings from the company he works for, but it'd be such a drive. Opposite end of the Twin Cities, and I'm just not willing to do that. Public transit sucks here, and the traffic is bad, too.

But something needs to change.

When I was single and living alone, I used to bring work home and do stuff while watching movies or tv or listening to the radio. I didn't sleep much. I'd stay up late chatting on IRC or the MUD I played on or ICQ. I'd work while I was playing or chatting. It worked ok, because I got a lot of the busywork/paperwork done that way. I can't do that anymore and things are piling up (literally and figuratively) all over. Doom.

Something I need to do is learn how to 'network' properly. I really, really suck at it.

R and I are in the midst of an organizing frenzy here. We have out of town visitors coming in a month and a half, and we want to make the place look nice. It's certainly better than it was, but I'm a pack rat and one of the closets is really bad. I'm afraid the boogeyman has been hiding in there all this time.

And now it's time to see if I can actually sleep tonight.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Good lord, I do NOT want to work with the trainer today. (But I did go work out. Oof.)

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
All signs point to tonight.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR”?
Whore.

4. Favorite planet?
Jupiter.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
That would be my workplace.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
Vibrate. Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I hate ringing phones.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
My I <3 my geek t-shirt.

9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing?
Currently wearing plain old white ankle socks. Otherwise I have a pair of Avia gym shoes and Skecher non-gym shoes. Dress shoes? Who needs 'em?

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Depends on if I have a headache or not. And what I'm doing. And the time of year.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She's spiffy.

12. This is not the 12 you were looking for.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I was awake in bed, cursing the fact I wasn't asleep.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
I have never received one. Let's keep it that way.

15. Where is your letter box?
In the lobby of my building. And on the wall by the drinking fountain at work.

16. What’s a word that you say a lot?
Holy cats. Ok, that's two. I still say criminy a lot under my breath.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
R.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Hee. R's head. He's got a buzz cut. It's fun to rub. Fuzzy wuzzy.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
My normal meds.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
I don't know. Probably a few. I'd have to find them first.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Actually, I'd have to say this has been the best age so far.

22. Your worst enemy?
ME.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Fred Fredburger. Hee!

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Are you making out with my wireless adapater?" Seriously. He was. It was.... frightening.

25. If you had to choose between a million dollars, able to fly, which would you choose?
Money. I want a proper house.

26. Do you like someone?
No. I hate everyone.

27. The last song you listened to?
Part of the Don Giovani opera.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
Yep.

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be?
Um. I have no idea.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
My gym bag.

My body is weird. So. Very. Weird. I thought I was going to pass out at Target this morning. It certainly was not over the deal I got on the sheets I purchased (they're very cute).

Also! I forgot to add - super short haircut ensued yesterday on my day off. It was not intended to be as short as it is, but I got carried away when I was looking through the hair books.

And so, spiky hair ensued.

Pictures to come as soon as I find the camera and manage to style it nicely (instead of the "I've been sitting on the couch watching Survivor and rubbing my hair since it's all gone" look I'm sporting currently.