|Subject:||the story that will make you fucking piss your pants in laughter|
allright, so i have this exam thing on tuesday morning at 8:00. currently at this time, it's about 2:30 am on monday night. allright
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so i'm watching the tv, most likel a documentary on somethign that i didnt care about. but i watched it anyways. now, by the time it's over, it's totally like 3:00, and i'm like shit, i hafta go to bed soon because i have to get up ass-early in the morning!! fuck. so i set a few alarms, not bothering to check volumes or the am/pm switch. i'm like "i'm a pro, i can do this right and i dont need to check it or anything" soo...............
9:30 rolls around on tuesday. I'VE CONVENIELTLY WAKEN UP AT THE TIME THE EXAM WAS ENDING!!!!!!!!! so i'm like shit, what the fuck do i do???? so then i fire off an e-mail to the instructor, and he's like "ok, come next thursday at 9 for the makup" i'm like "okdude, i'll be there, i didnt know i was going to conveniently get the stomach flu right before the exam" so that sucked. i had my roomate forge a fake mom style note to prove that i was sick. haha. turns out i didnt need it, because i showed up to the make-up place AND THE FUCKER WASNT THERE!!!!! so i'm like fuck, what the fuck is up with this guy?? i woke up ass-early and the fucker didnt even have the balls to show!!! so i waited around for a bit then left. now i'm here.
food for thought at 1:09 in the morning-
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"Inhibiting the Advancement"
good shit there.
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i'm fianlly able to update this shit
well yeah, so a lot has happened oveer the past few days. most notably, i was able to, in true jason litt fasion, encorporate the phrase "raise the bar" into a history report that is due soon. i was proud of that. next challenge- work in "because she's a woman."
i had a hotdog for lunch today. 2 in fact. they were in the back of my mind for a week now, as i was about to eat them last week, until i got a whiff of the expiration date. it was a week overdue. so i was like whoa, i cant eat that shit. but then this morning i saw that someone already had eaten 4 of them. so i was like, eh, they dont smell that bad, and my roomates are stil alive, right? so i popped them in the nuke for a minute, as per steph's instructions. they ended up a little too overdone for my taste, so i'm going to shoot for about 49 seconds next time around. they were still good though.
|Music:||bd 1990- tommy|
so i'm in class right, not doing shit. i reach up to attempt the "pull fingers through hair and sigh" move, and i notice that i do, in fact, actually have a lot of hair. so i go to this place near school to get the chop. i walk in, and it suddenly feels like i'm boarding an 18th century battleship, as there are sails all over the fucking place. so i roll my eyes in disgust as i humbly take my seat. after 5 minutes or so, the bitches finally acknowledge my presence. i told them that this was my first time here and they made me fill out a fucking paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK??? WHY THE FUCK DO THEY NEED MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER????? ARE THEY GOING TO CALL ME???????? DO I REALLY WANT TO MAKE SMALL TALK WITH A HAIRDRESSER??????? (sorry, COSMOTOLOGIST!!!!) AND FUCK!! THEY WANTED TO FUCKING KNOW WHERE I LIVED!!!!!! WHY THE FUCK DO THEY NEED THAT???????? ARE THEY GOING TO COME OVER AND CUT MY FUCKING HAIR AT MY HOUSE???????? AND THERES A SECTION THAT ASKS HOW MANY KIDS I LIVED WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY WANTED TO KNOW THE FUCKING BASTARDS NAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH, I LIVE WITH 4 KIDS!!!!!!!!! RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
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allright, after that ordeal, i am made to sit in the "waiting area". after about 20 minutes or so, the bitch finally calls me up. AND SHE SAYS MY NAME WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO THE FUCK MISPRONOUNCES TIM????????????????? I'M SORRY, BUT I DONT ANSWER TO TEEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok, so i'm basically steaming at this point and the screaming child that just walked in dosent make things better. i sit in the chair and ask to get a number two buzz thing. and she's like "ok i'll do that, but it's going to be really short!" I FUCKING KNOW BITCH, THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED CUTTING MY HAIR!!!! DONT ASK QUESTIONS OR COMMENT ON MY FUCKING CHOICES BITCH!!!! DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AND DO AS I FUCKING SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and the bitch was'nt good at all. she was bouncing all over the place, she missed a lot of hairs, and i was generally not pleased. then she asks"do you want me to make the front of your hair straight?" FUCK NO BITCH, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM, A FUCKING FREAK??? DO I BELONG IN A FUCKING CIRCUS????? GIVE ME A BONE AND I'LL DO TRICKS!!!!!!!!!!!! and the whole thing was definately low-notch quality. i went out looking like shit. AND SHE PUT SOME FUCKING BABY POWDER ON MY NECK TOO!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT GOING TO DO FOR ME?????? AM I A FUCKING BABY?????? WHERES MY PACIFIER, I'M ABOUT TO CRY!!!!! LEMME SUCK YOUR TITS BITCH, I'M THIRSTY!!!!!!!!!!!!
so here i am back at home, pissed as hell at my lame ass haircut. never again i tell you.
|Music:||cake- arco arena|
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allright, finally not pissed anymore.
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so things went well today. actually really fucking well
english kinda sucked as always, but after english was when the fun started.
as i walked out the door of the building, i was suddenly hit by a cold waft of air. this stunned me for a second, and i was then brainwashed into thinking that i just had to go drive. somewhere. so i race over to the parking garage, mowing down little 6th graders that were there for a fieldtrip or something, and finally made it to my car. i dropped my shit into the trunk and opened up the door. ahh, i thought, as i recalled how smart i was to park in the garage, as the car was still cool inside. windows down, sunroof up, everyting was going good. i was like a beast again, wishing i had a KING OF ROAD lisence plate up there in the front. so i drove for a bit, think i went down there by busch gardens or something, just driving. i was vainly searching for like a little park with a lake and ducks and stuff, but i found none. but it's ok, i think i can manage without. then i come back to school, sit around and laugh at all of the idiots trying to find a parking spot in the sundome lot. then i realise that i was one of them. no biggie, found this guy who parked in the front row and i got his spot. good shit. then i went to history. we learned about truman and wilson and how japan fucked up russia's navy in 1905. interesting stuff. then i go home and i'm here. so i think to myself, "self, i'm hungry." so i pop open the fridge and there's two hotdogs just staring at me. it's like they were going "eat me, eat me". so i pick them up, ask them if they really wanted to be eaten, and i decided that they did, so i put both of them into a bowl (no plates) and shove them into the microwave. not being familiar with cooking 'dogs this way, i consult the package for cooking directions. it said something along the lines of 1.5-1.75 minutes per dog. so i'm like WTF? i dont want to wait that long. so i though about it for a few, and came up with the number 2. sounded good to me, a nice educated guess. so in they go, 2 minutes, and i leave the room. about 30 seconds into the ordeal, i hear horrible popping sounds coming from the kitchen. so i'm like wtf. i consulted steph about the strange noises, and she claims that i put them in for too long. i asked for her view on how long they should go for, and she claims 30 seconds per 'dog. ah well. they had about 45 seconds left by now, so i just let them go on burning. kinda like, i know i can stop them but what if?? kind of thinking going on here. so the thing beeps, theres a strong waft of hotdog in the air, and i open up the chamber. little splats here and there, but that's it. i was really dissapointed with the results, and i was tempted to let them suffer for a few more minutes in there. but then i realised that i was pretty fuckin hungry by now. so i whip out some bread and put these smoldering, burnt dogs on there with some ketchup, and they tasted alright. a bit funky, but there none the less. so i'm not hungry anymore.
oh fuck........ i'm livid now.
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i just typed a bunch of shit then something happened and now it's gone.
you'll just have to suffer until tomorrow..............
yeah, that was a good tuna sandwich. funny story, on the way from my room to the kitchen, i was struck with a deep thought- what if i really wanted pb and j???? so i pondered for a minute, and then finally decided against it, i was pretty set on that tuna, ya know. so i open the fridge and guess what????? THERE WAS NO MORE PEANUTBUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!! so i was relieved that i stuck with the tuna, as one really cant have a pb and j with out the pb.allright back to life
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so i got to anthropolology today, all thinking that there was a test or something, and there was none. so i was like cool. then i found out the test was on next thursday i think. so that's a load dropped of at the dump right there.
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then we got to go to the shriners hospital thing. that was pretty fun. we played a few games of uno, but it was like jenga, and that was weird. our kid didnt have a right hand, but that kid schooled us at that game. then we played a game of pool. again, little mr no right hand comes over and beats the shit outta us at the game. then he left to go bake some brownies. the little fucker never returned. i was so ready for brownies, but no, he kept them all to himself. bastard. and then i went home.
so here i am, debating what i should have for lunch. i'm either going to make some tuna sandwich or some peanut butter and jelly. the tuna is top on my list, but that shit is hard to make in comparison to the penut butter and jelly. tuna will also fill me up a bit more then the pb and j, and i'm kindof in the mood for it. so yeah, i'l just have to go for the tuna.
so yeah, today was cool. drove the car to school, parked in a bigass parking garage. that was fun. that way, the car is in the shade, and when you go to get in after it just sitting there, it's not all hot and stuff, so one dosent get burnt from the flash fire that pops out if it was jsut sitting in the sun.
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english sicked, the bird just sat there and droned on about some stuff. turned in the project thing that was due. that went well.
history was fun. we got the teacher to say fuck. we learned about how we did some stuff over in the pacific and got some islands over there. good shit.
then i went home. kicked some ass in gta:vice city so i could release whatever it was that was built up inside of me.
then band practice was at 5 and that rocked. got the gladiator show on the field, woohoo, go gladiator.then i went home and took a shower to get ready for the probe meeting at 9 at the school of music
that was fun.
where else does a pro piano player show up to play bohemian rhapsody with 11 guys hacking away at the words and 2 dudes playing air drums and making weird drumming noises. good stuff
so there i was at winn dixie, picked up some soda and some dinner. i snagged some mac and cheese and tater tots, sounded like a great idea to me. then i bring it home and connie's like WTF?!?! i guess i forgot the poor bastard hates cheese. oh well. managed to fill the house up with smoke twice. i tell ya, cooking mac and cheese and tater tots at the same time is no easy feat. tasted good though. good stuff.
then i have this anthropolology test in 7 hours, might want to get some sleep or somehting.
should be good though.
after the test we get to go play games and shit with the kids at the shriners hospital. should prove interesting, as i detest kids. only if there like really small and cute can i stand them. it's a test grade though. have to go. i'd feel better though, i hope i can make these kids have some fun in thier mundane lives at the hospital. good stuff.
so i was looking at some stuff today, and it occoured to me that everyone had a journal of some sort. so i was like, wtf? so i'm making a journal now, dont expect anything like "holy shit, i'm fucking drowning in life and i need this shit to keep me alive!!!!!" type of shit. i mean, ffs, who wants to read about that? this shit is about me, and what goes on in my day. usually some good shit. maybe some not so good shit. but what the fuck. here we go. oh yeah, rated r up in the hizzouse.
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