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Blurty for sorry that i'm philophobic.

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Tuesday, June 1st, 2004

Time:1:36 am.
no one looks here now, maybe im safe to say im dying here
1crushed prototype a mechanical heart

Tuesday, April 27th, 2004

Time:10:58 pm.
im moving...


www.livejournal.com/~mekaxxxbuterfly
a mechanical heart

Subject:truth brings smiles
Time:8:57 am.
is there something you've been wanting to ask me but haven't? go ahead and ask anything, nothing is inappropriate. ill answer as honestly as i can.

i want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions. no more. no less.

RULE: you must go to your journal and post this as well. allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.
2crushed prototypes a mechanical heart

Monday, April 26th, 2004

Subject:Nebraska
Time:8:41 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:"motor" nebraska.
a young girl of nearly 6. damn that girl has energy though. adorible as she is, shes a fierce little vixon. she sings as i write and imagines of being a rock star.



to be a child again
a mechanical heart

Sunday, April 25th, 2004

Time:4:31 pm.
Mood: lonely.
Music:random techno.
story of an inner boy


A boy shrowded in darkness. His head is lowered as well as his self worth. Naked to all who may look upon him, his secrets bare and written on his flesh. Pink and tender from the lashings of the world. Scares are a story written of the reality he created for himself. The lashing of the true reality would leave him far to gashed to live. So in the dark he is against a wall. Forced to stand against it all, as he is chained at his wristed to a wall of ice cold brick. The tears never stop here. This is where it is all evident, all that he has done to himself and others. He is being punished here. A personal hell. His head now slanted to the side, the tears glisten like a stary night in a foggy sky. No one cares to look though, no one cares to visit. He is alone and inevidably pathetic.
"....Someone, please...help... help.....help" His voice becoming more urgent and helpless.
These are the cries of someone in distress beyond a helping hand.

help the bound boy from an eternity of lonliness?
1crushed prototype a mechanical heart

Thursday, April 22nd, 2004

Subject:push me down
Time:1:31 pm.
Mood:explosive.
Music:"mr. selfdestruct".
i want to give up on the world. give in to everything. let the desease of media run over me and consume my very soul. someone fuck this life over and end this torment...
1crushed prototype a mechanical heart

Wednesday, April 21st, 2004

Subject:horrid
Time:10:38 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
Music:cher.
today was horrible. i got in my first accident today. i had a panic attack. horrible was to start a day. then it was the day of silence and everyone took advantage of that.. cus i wasnt talking.. and then no one did it! so 7th hour rolls aorund and joanne the man decides to be a cunt. and maria is always a bitch...so i snaped and started being a prick. so i was gonna go to gsa after school, canceled. then i went to see mellisa and alexa (havent seen in forever) and then to kristens. so that all cheered me up. i met up with chris and met some kool people. katy and triton. kool people. i think mikes mad at me thoguh. he was being kinda mean and quiet. then i was saying bye and its like he didnt even wanna see me. i felt like crying. so now im home and still depressed. everything always goes to shit...
a mechanical heart

Sunday, April 18th, 2004

Subject:eventual
Time:7:51 pm.
Mood: busy.
Music:"spin spin sugar".
many times i have tried to start anew
many times i tried to say sorry to you
for all the things my fault or not, my apologies grew
i was forced to sit and let all the emotions stew
no more autumn mornings with a midnights dew
and all the seeds that i sew,
died the night i told you all that was true



thins have been very eventful. crazy happenings left and right. all new faces, brand new "best friends". old people trying to force themselves back in. this period in my life is getting obnoxious the more i think of it.




am i a liar?
a mechanical heart

Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

Time:1:01 am.
Mood: lonely.
Music:"magic".
i walk in such mechanical motions. these steps i take are like a robots charges. these lines bend to their own reality. one that i dont dream up. i walk alone in this shattered reflection. these nights so cold and lonsome. confusion keeps my right side comany, and pity on my left.


so much would long to be a real boy
but i'm alone in this cruel world




ever felt so alone in a crowded room that you thought the walls would consume you?
1crushed prototype a mechanical heart

Tuesday, April 6th, 2004

Time:11:11 pm.
a real "snuggle bunny...


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a mechanical heart

Sunday, April 4th, 2004

Time:3:11 am.
Mood: happy.
Music:"stand by you" " like a rose".
I hate people sometimes. not today, but sometimes. today was good...


kristen is not fat or ugly or anything else that could be a negative quality. she is pretty and loveable.


but, yes, today was good.


*smiles*
1crushed prototype a mechanical heart

Tuesday, March 30th, 2004

Time:11:05 pm.
Aua Marine Mermaid
You are the Aqua Marine Mermaid. You are pure and
brave. Strong and True. Your best freind is
your seahorse, your steed. You have fought many
battles in your own life and in the sea. No
matter what challenge you overcome it.
Congratulations there are very few of you.
Would you rate my quiz for I am brave too?


What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

HELL YA' BITCH!
Funeral For A Friend
Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...


What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

HASH(0x8b121fc)
Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
(please rate my quiz)


**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
a mechanical heart

Time:10:42 pm.
Mood: chipper.
Music:MSI.
today was suprisingly good


wonderful guy on my mind:)



mending heart
a mechanical heart

Monday, March 29th, 2004

Time:12:22 am.
Mood: amused.
Music:"yubiwa".
such a long stressful, comical, funfilled, exciting, interesting, and crazy weekend.


i really do care about ben. im so happy i found, correstion, someone as wonderful found me. for once i didnt try and look.

press against me,
press hard.
i love the feeling of your hands,
touch me where you wish.
i am yours,
so hold me now.
let me fall,
catch me,
cus its for you...


beautiful gazes
a mechanical heart

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004

Time:10:18 pm.
Mood: crushed.
Music:silverstien, senses fail.
i guessed i didnt get what i thought i had...




BREAK myHEART
a mechanical heart

Monday, March 22nd, 2004

Time:5:54 pm.
Music:maroon five.
We once faught
Lay me in my bed tonight
I wanna fall into nocturne
Place me gently, I promose I fight
This place, this night, this I yearn
Tired am I, tired the fool
As I fall down, I fall for you
Spin a web of sheets like a spool
Catch me like your fly
I am yours. so show me now
touch my face, please just try
I am yours, to you I will allow
Whisper in my ear the truth
Tell me your secret desires
Crawl up to my face, you reluctant sleauth
Kiss me so hard your face perspires
Just hold me close
I wanna feel your heat
Pluck my clothes like the petal of a rose
Peal the restraints to nude; from head to feet

I am yours, this is all I have
I can only offer what you see
I can give so much, i can make you laugh
So lay down now, lay with me
I can be your world
I can be your hope
No need to lay on the floor curled
No need to walk around, to mope
I will bring you smiles
This is real no matter what
There will be no love trials
We will never say 'We once faught' "
a mechanical heart

Saturday, March 20th, 2004

Time:11:03 am.
Mood: geeky.
Music:bright eyes.
so far this wekend is somewhat uneventful. but i feel icky today... itll pass





me likes ben






"...you hell hounds; no, you common hell mutts..."
1crushed prototype a mechanical heart

Thursday, March 18th, 2004

Time:5:57 pm.
Mood: discontent.
Music:bashboard.
i met a guy, but i dont wanna fuck it up by saying something on here.


ignorance is BLISS


in most cases, it is, but i seem to find it in a "hello" :)






P
E
T E
a mechanical heart

Monday, March 15th, 2004

Time:6:29 pm.
free
You have a free soul! As all the souls go, yours is
the most free-spirited and adventurous. You
like camping, hiking, or interaction with other
people. Your a social butterfly, but not
because of your style, but because of your
willingness to communicate with everyone. You
probably have close friends who can rely on you
because you always seem to know whats going on
in the world. You love music and are
free-spirited and someone fun to be around. A
born leader and great explorer-dont ever
change-the world needs more people like you.


What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
a mechanical heart

Time:4:45 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
Music:"my turn to fly".
the fuckin car battery died at school. and everything is just pissing me off!!!



ashley got me a fall out boy patch, i feel so loved. it came with strawberry shortcake scratch and sniff stickers.





*sad face*
a mechanical heart

Blurty for sorry that i'm philophobic.

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