Monday, February 21st, 2005
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10:56 pm - ATTENTION!!!!!
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hello mr. and mrs. INTRUDER. i would like to thank you for breaking into every aspect of my life. i would like you to know i will NEVER forgive you for what you are doing to me. EVER. i hope you understand that. eventhough i know you wont. because you dont undestand anything at all. what is it? parent 's block. hello wake up in there. I hate you . does that help. i really hope you check this out again. so you can know i know you've invaded my life. my thoughts. my everything. and if you werent such fucking insane parents . i might not be like this. but you are. yes. i am blaming this all on you. cuz its true. its all your fault. YOURS. not mine. yours! the more you hold me back. the more i wanna rebel. to piss you off. and the hate increases . more . and more. with everyday. every second im with you. so there you go. is this what you wanted.?!? a lovely little daughter . who HATEs YOUR fucking guts. yea i dont think so. but just in case it is what you wanted. here you go. have fun. i wish you werent phsyco but i dont play any part in that. maybe you should have thought twice about having me. maybe you could have had another kid. a perfect child for you. Perfect. not someone who wants to be themselves and individual. LIKE ME. but someone who will obey your every command. someone you wont have to worry about at all. but please DONT WORRY about ME. because. i DONT CARE. i wish you didnt either. and just so you know since you've taken everything else in my life away. you might as well kick me out. because that would make me EXTREMELY happy. cuz i have someplace to go. where people really do love me and where my friends are. yea i am talking about MY FRIENDS. all the loving people. that UNDERSTAND me and care about me. seriously care. not fake. its real. and i KNOW that. i have a place to go. where i might actually be able to grow up happy. healthy. and most importantly. NOT INSANE! so there ya have it. think about it. let me GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont want you to be apart of my life. so please do me a favor. if you love me soo much then. GET OUT OF IT!!
thank you,
~your rebeling, drug - dealing, alcoholic, imperfect, depressed daughter
PS im not depressed. only when i am around you i am sad because seriously WHO WOULDN"T be? you are very insanely SAD parents to be around. and it gets to me. : )
current mood:  amused
current music: LET GO NOW!!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, February 20th, 2005
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3:31 pm
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well there is nothing to write except everything is fucked up now. i am pissed off. i hate my parents. they screw everything up. i hate my life. and i dont care anymore. there ya go.
current mood:  pissed off
current music: simple plan. still not getting any.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, February 5th, 2005
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4:18 pm
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yep definately running away. i hate my life. i hate my family. i hate myself. i need to get away. help me please. man.. im breaking down. god. bye.
current mood: pissed off
current music: simple plan. welcome to my life.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
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9:50 pm
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fuck. ? .> man. why do i not know anything. any thing at all. im am just really confused. about everything. life. im just kinda here. me. but im NOone. at all. but yet im not sure Who i wanna be . well i do . but im lost. definately lost. so there ya have it. some words. from my mind. that will just sit there. and there is more just say. but its a big mess. so maybe ill figure out that puzzle later. all i know is. I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASS PILE OF SHIT! so i think im going to bed since my mom is bitching! FUCK HER! i hate it here. but i better go. bye
bri
current mood:  confused
current music: mom bitching?! thats about it.
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(comment on this)
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Friday, January 21st, 2005
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8:46 am
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umm im not sure what to think ne more like of beth and stuff cuz i can tell shes mad at me but i dunno.. everythings all fucked up but i am way to tired to write about everything now so i am going to sleep the whole day away! well i guess im gonna write later ~adios
briiz
current mood: DEAD as a doornail..
current music: 105.9
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
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7:31 pm
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yea yea yea ... what roads to take? goOd quEstiOn! very gOoD quEstiOn.
current mood:  contemplative
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(comment on this)
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Monday, January 17th, 2005
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7:24 pm
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ooohhoh... i think i am gonna B REA K ... i just am soo lost.
current mood:  depressed
current music: and very frustrated..
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, January 16th, 2005
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6:49 pm
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yEa FUCK YOU !! thats EXACTly what i THOUGHT .. im done with that .. its gonna be different.. fuck it all.
current mood: pissed off
current music: and depressed cuz my entire life SUCKS!!
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
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10:25 pm
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Man this sucks!! i am not in a good mood at all.. i left all of my homeowrk in jen js car and her mom is mad at her and she is in a bad mood so i wasnt gonna ask her to bring it to me and i am WAY behind in school and now i cant do ne of my homework and i cant go to sleep and i wanna do something but no one is on .. and yea i am just realy screwed up right now.. ugghh. im annoyed.. theres nothing i can do.. i guess i am gonna try to go to bed but i cant i JUST cant i have INSOMNIA i do NOT sleep .. man What to do what to do what to do...whatever im done
current mood: aggravated
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(comment on this)
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Monday, January 10th, 2005
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3:08 am
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yea im in art right now .. and i have a lot of homeowrk that i should be doing but i really don't feel like it so yea thats why i didn't do it last night either..but even tho my parents left i still feel like im not allowed to do any thing its pissing me off. but whatever my grandma is soo fuckin deaf i was laughing my ass off on the way to school today cuz she drove us and she couldn't a hear a fucking word we said so man ya shoulda been there it was soo funy since we were trying to tell her where to go but she could hear us haha man i cant stop laughing she would just like stop in the middle of the rode and stuff i dunno.. but yea i made it here without dieing and thats what counts right?
.. i am hoping ill still be able to have a lot of fun this week (man a week is too short) my parents are outta my life for a bit..lAtEr.
bri
current mood: sore
current music: 105.9
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, January 9th, 2005
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7:19 pm
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yea umm.. yuck im sore from the meet or something especiall y my back.. and i havea ton of fucking homework but i don't feel like doing it and i forgot my book so i can't .. but tomarrows an early release so tahts good i guess.. and........... MY PARENTS ARE LEAVING FOR MEXICO!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAY !! they are outta my life for a week : ) that makes me very happy.. .. . well i don't really have much else to say.. so i guess i be going now . byE
bri
current mood: crappy
current music: falloutboy
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
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7:37 pm
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well today we had a SNOWDAY !! (it was a good thing too cuz i didn't do ne of my homework) yay!! and i went sledding yay! hah w/ jen and danielle is was fun we had 4 ppl on one sled. ha . it was good that we had a snow day too cuz i needed the Xtra sleep... i was tired from being up till 5am the day before.. making babka(a polish sweet bread) hah fu n fun. anyways. yea after sledding we went to the Y to drop danielle off but then jen ended up filling in for angie for gymnastics so i hung out in the nusery with a lil baby..heh so yea i don't really have ne thing to say much so ill write later
buh bye
: )
current mood:  blank
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, January 3rd, 2005
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6:53 pm - ppl>:i.!:.: . < me
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yea. defiNatEly.
oF.
EVERyTHINg.!!>!>>!!>.!.
thereS nO poinT.
current mood: depressed
current music: story of the year. until the day i die.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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9:10 pm
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well beth just totally embarrassed i swear if any one finds how that that was my name i will kill her...ughghgughg my lord she owes me big time... this is what happened..
i found one of those things that is like a questionare about what your future sex/love life is going to be like and i had filled in my name and email and my birth date and then i couldn't think of ne thing to put in the answers so i stopped and was thinking but beth came over and was like i wanna do this it'll be fun so she didn't see my name and everything and she fills out the rest of the information and click ok...it turns out that it was a joke and they sent all that information to eric mansells email with my name but beths answers... and she wasn't doing it truthfully so it had stupid stuff and wierd names.. well lets just say.. if anyone finds out about this ..
i got to go now BYE
current mood: pissed off
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, December 30th, 2004
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7:34 pm
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well i can finish my entry now if i even remember what all i was saying. k well then bri came over to beths with us. and then bri. and alyssa. spent the night. that really was fun tho. cuz we tuo ssapEd (it backwards bcuz thats how we talk about it) ne ways we video taped ourselves. and it turned out really really freaky . yea. then they came to prac. today.
im am really bored. and i hate myself. alot. cuz im stupid. and dumb. im sick of everything. right now. i don't wanna go on. i have no life. i just really hate my self. like how stupid i act. i don't know who i am . and how to be. and beth is really getting on my nerves lately ..really alot. i just cant stand her. shes too perfect for me. i am not perfect enough for her. she is just perfect. with the perfect family. and they all get along. and she has no clue about me. she doesn't 'get' me. no one does. i don't get myself. im lost. confused. yea i am just screwed up. i hate my family. but most of all just myself. im really bored. and now i am not allowedto do ne thing for the rest of the week. or for newyears. i am fucking stuck w/ my family. but i am sick of everything. i think im done for now. bye.
current mood: crappy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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6:06 pm
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i am really in a horrible mood. i hate my mom . and my family. and most definatly . myself. i feel like shit right now. yea whatever. ne ways. tuesday. jackie. alyssa. jess. and beth. spent the night. it was fun i guess. i hadn't seen them in soo long. then they all went to gymnastics practice on wedness day with me. yea ok.I FUCKING HATE MY MOM I CAN'T WRITE N E MORE I G2G BYE : '(
current mood: enraged
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(comment on this)
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2:23 pm
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man.. now i just feel like crying i am in such a bad mood because i just spent half an hour typing up a huge long entry about how i am feeling and then it got delted cuz t c my computer is fucking stupid
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, December 26th, 2004
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6:40 pm
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well haha umm althought christmas was really boring this year.. i didnt even really get much but i don't care.. whatever.. ne ways at the party on christmas eve lol my cousin and i kept sneaking a bunch of wine here and there haha and when it was time to go my grandmas back was hurting her so we had to help load everything in her car and so we put ne opened wine bottle that we found in her boxes and stuff and then loaded them into the car.. man it was soo funny cuz then on the way home my cuz and i were in the back seat and my basically deaf gMA was driving and we were just sitting there drinking straight out of the bottles it was soo funny.. like she didn't even notice ..and when we got back to her house.. we helped unload and we told her we kept finding all these empty wine bottles in her boxes and stuff and she was like "o well umm i dunno how in the world they would have gotten there but just put them in my recycle bin" lol man and one of the bottles we didnt finish so we showed it to her and she said, " o that explains it .. onthe way home i thought maybe u guys were sneaking some wine cuz i smelt it " Hhaha man it was frickin hilarious hah u had to be ther well that was the most fun i had this christmas cuz xmas sucked this year but other than that im pretty bored..
and..today my dad had me drive to beloit and back on the INTERSTATE oooo scary lol hah we'll ill write later BYE
current mood:  bored
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(comment on this)
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Friday, December 24th, 2004
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2:23 pm
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well right now i aam entirely bored my family is watching the packer game and then we are going to church then an xmas party in milton with ppl from my moms side of the family like old ppl and stuff..well yea just thought i would update topass the time and GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT MY TEMPS yesterday WHOO HHOO...and so far i have driven beth home and to sentry and i just got back from driving to subway at the five points .. I LUV IT!!!!!
last night i stayed up till 3 am cuz i couldn't go to bed and then i slept until 1 pm the next day so yea i am still tired though i think i am going to go read or something and then pick out something to wear to church
MY ENTIRELY BORED SELF,
briZ
current mood: bored
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, December 21st, 2004
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2:44 am
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well right now i am in art and yea its pretty boring considering i have been done with my project for a few days and it isn't due ttill wed. thats ok with methought cuz i love this class its my easiet one i get to goof around and draw and i get so far ahead it is just a stress free class...when i have homework i do it in this class except for right now i have a big CAT assignment that i just DON"T GET at all so i can't do it PERIOD! yea whatever ill do it during spanish where i can ask cecelia.. haha that s my other awesome stress free class.. it s soo funny my teacher ms. zimmer is such an AIRHEAD u hve NO IDEA so is soo funny i mean u can seriously go up to her and say right to her face, "your a whore and i don't know this answer so will u tel me and shell say .: o sure " even on a test i love we give here such a hard time and she jut doesn
t comprehend i mean we fucking swear all the time and eat our lunches in thtclass ad she is just soo funny I LOVE IT!!! well i better get going since i am not suppoessed to be on a computer..ill write later .. BYE briZ
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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