smacker_licious' Blurty
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Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in smacker_licious' Blurty:

    Sunday, March 16th, 2003
    2:07 am
    Things have changed...'s been awhile since i've i've got alot to say...okay first of all Matt and I are talkin again!! YAY!! we have been for about a month or so now...everything is going really good with us...we are takin it slow...but it's working out...his ex amanda was causin some probs but she is layin off a bit now...but she is still all over matt..and that kills me..i wish she would lay off and get a life....Matt and I still fight a bit...he doesn't ever look at it from my perspective...what he says goes and that kills me...he is so complicated...everything is different when it involves him...Like the other day he got mad cuz i went to my friends house and i didn't call him...( i didn't have access to a phone or i would have) and then he get's all mad about it and tells me that if i really cared and wanted to talk to him i would've called....well last night he went to his friends house and he told me for sure he would call me...i told him if he couldn't call to tell me then...but he insisted that it would be no prob to call me...and so i waited for his call all night long...and it never came and when i asked him about it...he said he was too tired to call..but he stayed up all night with brandon...ugh that makes me so furious...but we do have out lil probs but we try to work them out...i'm really happy...things are finally goin back to normal..i made mistakes but i paid my debts and now i'm gettin back what once was all of my friends and my baby (matthew) me and matt did have our ups and our share of downs...but love conquers me and him will be just fine!!

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: §Ja Rule-- Mesmerized§
    Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
    9:19 pm
    Another poem expressin myself
    This goes to Matt:


    Foget his name,
    Forget his face,
    Forget his kiss, his warm embrace,
    Forget his love that once was true,
    Remember now, there's someone new.

    Forget his love that once was shared,
    Forget the fact that he once cared,
    Forget the times you spent together,
    Remember now he's gone forever.

    Forget you cried all night long,
    Forget him when they play your song,
    Forget how close you two once were,
    Remember now he's chosen her.

    Forget you memorized his walk,
    Forget the way he used to talk,
    Forget the times you were so mad,
    Remember now he's happy, not sad.

    Forget the times he used the phone,
    Forget the times you were alone,
    Forget he made your dreams come true,
    Remember now there's someone new.

    Forget his gentle teasing way,
    Forget you saw him everyday,
    Forget the things you planned to do,
    Remember now there's someone new.

    Forget the thrills when he went by,
    Forget the times he made you cry,
    Forget the way he said your name,
    Remember now things aren't the same.

    Forget the times he held your hand,
    Forget the sweet things if you can,
    Forget the way he loves you too,
    Remember now there's someone new.

    Forget the times went so fast
    Forget them now, they're just the past,
    Forget he said I'll leave you never,
    Remember now he's gone forever.

    Aurthor: Unknown

    Current Mood: crushed
    Current Music: §Aerosmith§ I don't wanna miss a thang
    Monday, January 27th, 2003
    6:01 pm
    Okay...i dated this guy named matt for 3 and him were real close...we have had some bad times..and
    we broke up..and we broke up the last time cuz the school won't let us even be in the same hallway hardly...we hadn't talked in awhile..and since the second semester we've been sneakin and talkin a lil more..he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me..but yesterday he told me he was involved with another girl..and we wouldn't be able to be together until she screws up...and it's a big mess cuz i have ryan..and ryan is wonderful..he hasn't done anything to me to make me not want to be with him...but i don't really know him ya know..and for the last 3 years matt has been my life..and i'm so confused and i don't know what to do...

    Current Mood: stressed
    Current Music: §Avril Lavigne§ I don't give a damn
    Sunday, January 26th, 2003
    6:08 pm
    A lil poem expressin myself
    A lil background of this boyfriend and i have different aspects of things..he likes black..i like white..he wants me to wear dark, boring clothes..I love wearing colorful and bright clothes..and occasionally dark...we have different religions..but i will leave that at that...I told him i would dress like he wants..but I know i won't be able to do it all the time ya know..we both made a deal..he dresses the way I want and I dress the way he yeah..but this poem is more for the heart and outer look on life..then just clothes and stuff...

    What I am

    Love me For what I am and not For what you want me to be.
    For I am my own person and can't be What you've planned for me.
    Please don't brag me up or make me look tall, I may disappoint you I may fall.
    All I ask is that you let me grow, Let me discover life on my own.
    Stand by my side, But don't hand on.
    Give me your trust and encouraging hand.
    Love me, Stay by my side, Be proud of me For what I am.

    Current Mood: calm
    Current Music: §Jon Bon Jovi§ I'll be there for you
    6:00 pm
    boyfriends are so complicated
    hey~ I have a boyfriend who is 19..he is really great and sweet..but sometimes he doesn't think about anything...he is in this rock band..and he got this equipment and stuff..but this guy named jake claims it is this jake guys dad called MY house and was cussin me out like i was ryan..and told me that if i didn't get ahold of ryan he was gonna kill him and a bunch of stupid i tried tellin ryan's roommate josh..josh didn't believe me and told me that he wasn't in the mood for someone to play jokes on him..and all this crap..when i don't even know this jake guy and his parents..and now i can't talk to ryan cuz my dad says i'm not allowed to talk to him until these people stop callin and ryan and them gets everything settled...and ryan is on the net..and not even tryin to get this thing solved..he is playin a video game on nothing is gonna happen..UGH he makes me so's like he don't care about it...well later

    Current Mood: aggravated
    Current Music: §Pink§- You make me sick
    Saturday, January 25th, 2003
    10:28 pm
    Just another day
    Hey~This is really the first time i wrote in my journal...My cousin elcee_baybee showed me this website..i'm always on the net..and i get bored sometimes so i checked up on it so maybe i would have something to do everyonce in awhile...this is just a lil more info about me...I'm 14 I am very short i have shoulder length strawberry blonde hair...I have blue eyes..I love to go dancin...being with my friends...summer activites...roamance...sweet guys...talkin...and flirtin with guys...I'm a big tease..but sorry for you guys out there I have a boyfriend...well later
    Friday, January 24th, 2003
    11:50 pm
    A poem for a special person
    To my brother Steven who passed away on Jan. 27 2001.

    Be Gentle Lord

    Be gentle with him now, dear lord; He was a genlte man, you know. Open thy arms wide and welcome him in, For he was tired and full of woe.

    Give him your tender loving care That shall make his spirit soar; Give him thy gift of eternal life That he may rejoice evermore.

    Make room for him in thy glorious house, And prepare for him a bed ON a soft white cloud with a pillow of satin, Where he may rest his weary head.

    Sometimes when the loss and greif I feel Are almost more then i can bear, I look to heaven with wide-open eyes And I can almost see him there.

    Aurthor: Unknown

    Steven I don't have to mourn no more...I know that one day I will be at your side...I love you Steven

    Current Mood: peaceful