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looking back on time... [06 Apr 2003|12:17am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | mae-all deliberate speed ] rewind... on friday, it was a cool day to me. after school, me, james, gil, ryan, and daren went to safeway to get food then went to darens to cook. i made macaroni. mMmmMM...it was good. haven't had that in a while. then kim, jen, leo, jessie, rav, and mike came. we started to jump on darens trampoline. i tried to do a flip and i did one...then i just kept going out of control into another one off to the side, hit my ass hard on the metal side, then landed out onto the ground. my ass was in pain that whole day. we then took 2 cars to concord mall. i was in gils van and we watched corky romano in there. funny movie. the mall was fun. i bought a glassjaw shirt at hot topic. it was 16.99 and i usually wouldn't buy a shirt for that price but im not going to and concerts anymore(every one is sold out) so i just decided to get it. andrew got a ring just like mine so i guess me and him are as he sais:"friends forever". andrew's a cool friend (had to say something good about him since he said something good about me in his entry). i also tried a strawberry pearl drink at surf city squeeze. mMmMM...good. after the mall we all met up at vallejo's terriaki kitchen. mostly everyone in gils van stayed in to watch corky romano though. i was one of them. we then went to safeway but i stayed in again to continue and finish the movie. me, daren, gil, and andrew went to darens house to clean up and retshan came. i ended up sleeping at daren's house because of no ride. we just played video games then went sleep. on saturday, i woke up at darens house. i was at his house the whole day. just chilled and did whatever. some video games. i hardly never play video games. the only times is when im at darens house. its just not as entertaining as it used to be i guess. we found marshmellows, graham crakers, and hersheys chocolate in the pantry. you know what happened next.....SMORES!!! mmMMm..good. it was fun. me and daren watched as the marshmellows grew in the microwave. they wouldn't blow up though. they just got burnt. we later found out we don't suppost to eat them. it was gonna be for a camping trip. ooops. james came over and we started watching some skate tapes then some live finch videos i brang. then darens friend, fonzie came and more video games. then gil, athena, and andrew came. then we all left. now i'm here.....bored......i wanna be out again....what time is it? it's that savings time or whatever....oh well.... 1 comment|post comment

just a thought... [06 Apr 2003|03:48am] [ mood | confused ] [ music | 311-amber, (my calm mix) ] i'm just a confused little boy. why do i say this? hmmmm...i dunno why excactly. but now i'll just tell you some thought: i haven't liked or had a crush on someone in a long time. it's odd because it's been that i always had a crush or liked someone. this school year...yeah: i had a crush on "S.I." for a longggg time before. i was just really shy so i never even told her to this very day. it was bad though. i couldn't even talk much to her either because of my shyness. all my friends knew i liked her so they picked on me and stuff. that didn't make things anymore better. i finally stopped liking her when nina came along. she started hanging out with my friends a lot. daren then told me she liked me and i found out it was true. but everything was bad timing:(she liked me but didn't tell me, i liked her but didn't tell her, without me knowing she started liking my friend and they talked, i told her i liked her through a letter and included asking her out. she said she would rather be friends for the moment, later found out about her and my friend so the whole time i've been liking her she's been liking my friend. i was down about that. can you say:"bad timing" during the time i liked nina, i met krystle. she liked me but i told her i liked nina. we still talked though. after hearing about nina and my friend, that's when i started liking krystle because we talked more and hung out once in a while. we then gave each other letters almost every day. then be became girlfriend/boyfriend on december 30th. communication problems and hanging out became a problem later for me at least. we broke up a little over one month. we still were friends for a while then it came to the point where you didn't even talk to each other except say "hi". that's how it is now. i hear she is or was talking to someone else but oh well. i thought i remember hearing: "i'm not ready to have a relationship at this point" hmmm...oh well. i just want to know some things.... some girls then started to like me. i'm not even sure which one's do or did. i know lena addmitted to liking me before. but she doesn't now. im just really cool with me and her being friends. her friend Dlyn liked me before when i started liking krystle. i'm not really sure if she still likes me. she like never said anything to me in person except for hi's. we recently just got into chatting online and she seems cool. i started liking nina for a while after krystle but then it's kind of confusing because i would think she likes me but maybe it's just because she's just really friendly with everyone. diana: i just thought she was nice and cute. some of my friends thought i should go for her but i don't see why they think that. i don't talk to her much but she is cool. so now i don't like or have a crush on anyone. should i be liking someone? i've been thinking about forgetting about trying to find someone and just live my life and just make more friends. i would rather start liking someone after we are really good friends. it just seems better that way and it would feel more comfortable. so i should just go ahead with life right? and that girl will come to my life somehow. i know some girls say "guys suck" and some guys say "girls suck". it works both ways. i just say: " anything dealing with relationships are confusing" or is to me. i dunno. i wish relationships were easier for me. shyness...that's me. this is a normal thing to think about right? i'm confused... 12 comments|post comment

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