|
|
Wednesday, February 26th, 2003
| |
5:46 pm
|
I want to cut so badly. Its all I could think about when I was at work. Getting my blade out of my bag, going to the bathroom and just cut away. Now that I'm at home, it hasn't helped. I want to cut more than ever.
I don't see what's so bad about it. It gives me pleasure. It relieves bad feelings. What's wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 24th, 2003
| |
9:41 pm
|
I can't stop cutting. Although tonight was better than last night. Only 8 or 9 tonight. At least I'm not a deep cutter. I only get blood a few seconds after I take the blade away, so they're not very deep at all. But god, they feel so good. I know I'm hooked on it and have been since I started ages ago. Do I want to stop? No. Will I give into the addiction once again? Of course I will. I don't give a fuck if the addictin is controlling me. Its making me happy so whats the big deal?
A few of last nights cuts were visible today (most were hidden by clothing) and someone asked me what had happened. I passed them off as cat scratches. Lucky only 3 were showing. The ones I just did were pretty high on my arm, like up by my shoulder so unless they bleed, they won't be seen at work. I wonder if I can post a picture of my new work... hey maybe I'll even make an icon out of it. I'll see what I can do.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
| |
8:24 pm
|
|
| |
6:49 pm
|
|
Just do it X. No one has to know except you and me. You know you want to do it. You just want to hear someone say you can do it. Well here, I'm giving you permission. Just cut. It'd be better for you. You wouldn't have to suppress your emotions. Just let them flow. Flow like blood. Go on, do it now. Pick up your razor. Do it X. Just fucking do it.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
| |
7:08 pm
|
|
I want to cut so badly. I want to draw that sharp edge through my skin, over and over, letting my blood flow out of the wound. I want to cut. I need to cut. This is making me insane.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|