Jen's Blurty
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jen's Blurty:

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    Thursday, April 15th, 2004
    2:39 pm sorry
    ok so i totally feel like i have been neglecting my journal and for what...studying for the sats? writing my college application no no no neither one of those answers will do. So my mom told me today that we are for sure going to disney world this summer if she can find a hotel with open reservations and she said my boyfriend could come! WHICH MAKES ME SOO HAPPY i wasnt sure if she was gonna go back on her word as she sometimes does so it is definatly good news that she is still letting him come. she asked me when he was going on tour so she could work around it. how adorable is that that she actually cared enough to make sure he could come so she wouldnt book it on the same day that he was going on tour. i think its very cool and cute and sweet of her. so i have been super busy stressing out about my ap exam which is in a week and a half which i would really like to get some college credit for but i feel like the chances of me getting a five are pretty flipping slim since i dont know any of my literary terms oops. i miss my boyfriend so much i cant stand it. we had such a great weekend together and i am so crazily in love with him and for the first time in my life i know its right. i dont have any doubts about us or our relantionship or wether or not it will work out because it will. it will and i am more thankful for that than i will ever be able to explain. i have to go though because i have to start editing my script for my movie. i love you all sorry i have been neglectig you journal.

    Love always

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: dont laugh...whitney houston
    Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
    3:01 pm
    IM SNOOPY!!!
    img src="" border="0" alt="Snoopy">
    You are Snoopy!

    Which Peanuts Character are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    I took a which peanuts character are you and im snoopy...YAY!! a lazy cute little white dog who lies on a red house all day...yup thats a tee hehehehe i love you tom...ill update this later...
    Friday, March 12th, 2004
    3:36 pm
    Im just so happy hehehehe. tom and i have been having so much fun. yesterday we were like two little kids and we jumped on the trampoline and played video games and air hockey haha we are SUCH goofballs hehehehe. anyways though i am so in love with him it is a little bit insane. i know for sure i want to be with him forever good thing we pinky swore hehehehehehehe oh im so giddy and im making mac and cheese right now which makes life even more beautiful heheheh peace OUT!!~ KISSES AND SKITTLES oh yea baby mwah

    Current Mood: happy
    Current Music: LIAWOG
    Thursday, March 4th, 2004
    7:49 pm
    Beautiful or ugly:
    Hot or Cute:
    skinny or fat:
    best feauture:
    worst feauture:
    looks overall 1-10:

    Am I funny:
    Am I dorky:
    Am I smart:
    Am I determined:
    Am I loveable:
    Am I capable:
    Am I talented:
    Am I athletic:
    Am I special:
    personality overall 1-10:

    would you date me:
    Could you fall in love with me:
    Have I effected you in a way no one else has:
    Have you ever dreamed about me:
    Do you ever wish I was dreaming about you:
    Would you marry me:
    Would you keep me forever:
    Do you know my favorite color:
    Do you know my favorite ice cream flavor:
    Do you know my worst habbit:
    Could you live with me doing my worst habbit:

    If we got married where would we live:
    How many kids would we have:
    How many kids do you want:
    What do you want to do with your life:
    What do I want to do with my life:
    What is your passion:
    What is my passion:
    What is my talent:
    What are your talents:

    Tell me...
    Tell me your biggest pet peave:
    Tell me a joke:
    Tell me a good piece of advice:
    Tell me something useful:
    Tell me something you think I dont know:
    Tell me something I want to hear:
    Tell me something I dont want to hear:
    Tell me the truth:
    Tell me a lie:


    Hehe i thought since other people have them in theres i wanted one in mine too fill it out if you want heheheh hanks guys!!!
    Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
    12:00 pm
    What a beautiful day
    Its march. I love march. and its not just because the month contains my birthday or anything i just love march. Its the begenning of Spring and it gets warmer and its so happy and i love being happy hehehehe which is what i am right now. actually i think i am beyond happy all the way to giddy hehehe and i keep giggling. i dont like my giggle though. its ok though because i like to giggle, i like to di it but i dont like the sound. does that make sense?

    anyway the point of this entry was that i got this sudden burst of love for my boyfriend because of last night. he went to bed early and he wrote "i went to bed early because i am dead tired, jen i love you ill always be there." this was a simple sentence that probably didnt take him more than five seconds to write. but when it flashed across my screen i felt so loved and so in love i almost floated up off my chair and onto a cloud the happpiest girl alive. i am so in love with him and i know he is the boy i am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. he is so understanding and accepting of me and all my craziness. he is seriously the best person i know and all of ou should hope to find someone in your life as truly incredible as he. i love you tom. thank you for making my life wonderful. thank you for being yourself, beliving in me and lettingme love you, and loving me the way you do. your the best person i know. I love you forever.


    Oh and on a side note...
    2 and a half days until spring break and 12 days until my birthday...ok now i really am off to do English i swear.... i hope...i should...oy hehehe i love tom!!~

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Lost in A world of Ghosts
    Thursday, February 26th, 2004
    8:18 pm
    I shot an elephant in my he got in my pajamas i dont know.
    "We must remember that art is art.
    Well, on the other hand water is water isn't it?
    And east is east and west is west.
    And if you take cranberries and stew them like applesause
    they taste much more like prunes than rubarb does.
    Now you tell me what you know."

    "Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself.
    You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing.
    You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff.
    If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
    You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here?
    You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle."

    "FIREFLY: To my dentist. Er .. 'Dear Dentist: Enclosed find cheque for five hundred dollars.
    Yours very truly.' Send that off immediately.
    BOB:I'll ... er I'll have to enclose the cheque first.
    FIREFLY: You do and I'll fire you."

    The Marx brothers were pure flipping geniuses man. it just doesnt get funnier i love them. and i can never figure out if i love them becuase they deliver there lines well or if i love them because the lines they deliver kick ass. im not sure but either way there awesome.

    ok so today was alright. tom has a concussion and oh my do i feel bad. can you imagine having an on going concussion for days, weeks even, ugh sucks. really there is no other word for it i feel so bad but theres like nothing anyone can do you know :( i hope myke feels bad about this.

    So a thought occured to me today sometimes people are mean and because they are mean we dont like them but then we find out later, not from them they have a reason to be mean then we feel bad for them and regret ever thinking they were mean becuase we feel bad for them. and it cancels out the mean but then thought i had today was should it...

    so theres this girl and i was very nice to her because she had no friends and she was at a new school. so forth and so on. we got along because we liked some of the same music and lets face it most preps at bording school arnt digging bob marley like they should be. anyway so she got some friends and became this hardcore punk which is fine whatever. so anways one weekend im at the mall and my friend arielle and i decided we wanted to get our second cartalidge ear peirced. so we go in the store and were getting it done and shes there. and she botches and moans for about five minutes before i say whats the deal. and she says nothing i just hate it when people who arnt truly punk come into spencers. now first off im thinking hunny its a store that sells cool shit, lamps, chairs, cards, just funny knick knacks you know secondly is it me or are punks supposed to be liberal. and liberals want equality of people and that means no one should be discrimianted against as big as because of there race and as small as because of being "not punk" and not being allowed in a store. anyway so thus she began to hate arielle and i and talked shit about us. so obviously i didnt care for her. then i found out she has cancer and only a few years to live. this made me think. i mean life is so precious and so adventured filled i couldnt imagine mine being cut so tragically short so obviously i felt bad, terrible, awful for her. but then i thought does she still have a reason to be mean to me? my conclusion to all this was, she is bitter and has every right to be because for no good UNFAIR reason her life is being cut short and that is understandable and i feel very bad for her and very fortunate and blessed to be healthy. however i also concluded that in this life, since we are on a time limit instead of hating people for petty reason we should embrace and love people. if she has a short time to live why not spend it loving and making friends, and teaching people the beuaty of life rather than wastine it making people upset. just a thought for you.**

    well until then...
    Sunday, February 22nd, 2004
    7:51 pm
    everybody know its sucks to grow up but everbody does so weird to be back here
    I've been thinking a lot about my movie lately and i really want it to be briliant. its so difficult because no one seems open to discussing it with mom as smart and capable as she may be has no artistic ability and my friends dont care and mr. talbot is busy trying to find a new job and oh he thinks he's going to one in california so fancy that. like ill ever see him again. than i face the problem that by not puting in an originial music track i can never enter this film in a festival because i dont have the friggin musical rights ahhh so much pressure GUHHUHUGBUGAUGR.
    on another note my poor boyfriend got hit in the head with a bass and got a concussion. the poor thing. i feel so bad for him, ow ow ow ow ow ow thats all i can think of when i talk to him and think about it. OW!! poor baby...i hope the pain passes soon definatly that would suck OW!!! i miss him so much oh god it hurts sometimes...i cant wait to see him in eleven days though thank god!!!! oh well i dont really feel like writing right now...huh now theres a first for jen and clear evidence somethings wrong...
    I love you tom

    Current Mood: blah
    Current Music: Ben Folds
    Monday, February 16th, 2004
    12:21 pm
    wow...long time no post damn. so what is new in my life well lets see my six month anniversary with my boyfriend is coming up thats some good stuff let me tell you. i would write down what i am getting him but he would be bound to readit and i wanna keep it a suprise. i peirced my third cartalidge hole this weekend and then my little sister leigh and i proceeded to tell my roomate she does not posess enough funk to peirce her cartlidge or really anything beyond her two traditinoal ears and all she can put in them are classic simple pearls haha nothing gaged, nothing funky and ridiculous like mine haha. i have come to the conclusion that i really am quite a ridiculous person...yes its true i am. i just told my bf i like the way a clean bathroom smells after it has been washed with lysol. yup. definately weird. i miss my cousin. i wish i could come home and see her more. she has been my one and only when i had nothing else...and since the one person i called my best friend decided we could no longher be losing faith. tom gives it back to me though. he is so incredibly wonderful and sweet and kind. i adore him and crazy as it may be i want to spend the rest of my life in his arms...oh...yes its true i love him...hehe!! :) well i have to go now...because i have no further information of interest to share for you to read. FAB U LOUS!! peace

    Current Mood: hyper
    Current Music: The Used
    Sunday, February 1st, 2004
    4:14 pm
    here goes nothing...or everything
    ok no specifics because i dont want everyone to know the specifics but heres the deal I am in love with my boyfriend tom. Not childish high school love ya love ya 2, cute little flirty love i mean im in love. and though many or most or practically ALL make think i am crazy i am not when i say i think tom is my soul mate. Now with that i say that no matter what happens, under the most FRUSTRATING of circumstances, the distance, the time no matter what i will never stop loving tom. we will make it thorugh anything. this whole boarding-school long distance thing is a test of true love which tom and i are passing with flying colors and so tonight im kinda scared but everything will be ok. tom i love you. every night that im not with you i ache for you. and when i am with you and i feel your arms around me the world is in its rightful place and im home. home isnt where i live but rather where you are tom. i love you. im so sorry i couldnt see you this weekend but ill see you next weekend (5 days) so no sweat we'll have a great time then and i have a few surprises for you ;) i love you baby!! kisses from your skittle~
    heres goes nothing:)

    Current Mood: hopeful
    Current Music: Evanesence
    Thursday, January 29th, 2004
    8:06 pm
    I JUST REALIZED 44 DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    yay i am very excited about this and not only that but tom says im a weiner yes he does and laura told me i look like a bunny rabbit but im not so sure that that was a very nice thing to i dont have big floppy ears...i think hehehe

    I LOVE TOM!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehe

    have fun on the ski trip baby even though i am going to miss you soo much heheheh!!!
    happy 5 month anniversary!!

    home- 7 days
    end of school:128 days
    birthday: 44 days
    jen and tom half year anniversary: 1 month hehehe
    toms bday: 44 days+ 3 months+ 3 days...hehehe :)

    7:50 pm
    *5 months*
    Tom's going away on the ski trip this weekend so i wont get to talk to him saturday but it will be alright. He will have a blast snowboarding and thats awesome. i wish i knew how to do something cool like that. i had my junior college meeting with mrs. weeks today wow talk about making me feel like a total idiot...chemistry is killing me mrs. weeks said its imperative i pull up my C in chem (how ironic) but its flipping hard i mean i get frustrated but then i realize i dont work hard...and i never study so really its my own fault...oh well...i should start trying harder if only i had more interest in school..damn why couldnt i be one of those school kids who love to learn...well i love to learn things like politics, and history of war and art, and about cultures and poetry prose..not once in my school career has any teacher ever told me to read catherine hunter...someone should have told me to read her...definately...i mean its not to say we dont read the greats i mean i aodre hemingway and updike but still..sometimes school just makes me feel inadequate. thats probably a really bad thing. oh well.
    i miss tommy i havent seen him in a flippin long time but the coutdown is on and were on 8 days really seven because today is practically over and i cant wait. we are so in love. it is so perfect and i espcially love how much we care about one another. i know he would do anything for me and i for him. i adore him. five months today hehe :) in eight days i will taste perfection :)
    I love you tommy
    ...wish me luck this weekend im going to hole up in my room and write an 80 page goes nothing...

    Love Skittle
    or pez as i named myself today haha (tom arent i a great mooer and you you are a quality oinker ;) love you!)
    peace out!

    Current Mood: giggly
    Current Music: **crazy love songs i can put in my film**
    Monday, January 19th, 2004
    8:40 pm
    You're Sensitive and you'd like to stay that way..
    -Sensitive- You're Sensitive, and you'd like to
    stay that way. Sorry,listened to a bit too much
    Jewel there. You're sweet and very emotionally
    charged. You definitely love the person you're
    with, and always want to know how they're
    feeling so you can make sure they're happy.

    What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    Tommy what do you think??

    I love you

    KISSES to my milky tic tac lol
    Monday, January 12th, 2004
    8:44 pm
    Now I will tell you what I've done for you
    50,000 tears I've cried
    And bleeding for you
    And you still won't hear me
    ....Going Under....
    Don't want your hand this time
    I'll save myself
    Maybe I'll wake up for once (wake up for once)
    Not tormented daily defeated by you
    Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom

    I'm...dying again
    I'm going under (going under)
    Drowning in you (drowning in you)
    I'm falling forever (falling forever)
    I've got to break through
    I'm...going under

    Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
    (So I don't know what's real)
    (So I don't know what's real and what's not 2x)
    Always confusing the thoughts in my head
    So I can't trust myself anymore

    I'm...dying again
    I'm going under (going under)
    Drowning in you (drowning in you)
    I'm falling forever (falling forever)
    I've got to break through,
    I'm, so go on and scream
    Scream at me, so far away
    I won't be broken again
    I've got to breathe
    I can't keep going under

    I'm...dying again
    I'm going under (going under)
    Drowning in you (drowning in you)
    I'm falling forever (falling forever)
    I've got to break through,
    I'm, going under (going under)
    Going under (drowning in you)
    I'm going under

    anyone who knows me knows my adoration for stars and all the while when im sad and lonely and staring at the stars i feel so small and i so far away and small and insignifiagnt compared to that big black sky with a wide spread a diamonds sprinkles across...ironic isnt it


    notice me...i always notice you

    why have kids if you dont want them

    have you ever noticed that sometimes people only talk to you if its convienent for them...

    the word slimy reminds me of green i associate the two and slimy go hand and hand...

    peace out...i wish i had some skittles..actually no for once in my life...i dont want them...

    Current Mood: invisible
    Current Music: the eagles-hotel california!!~
    Friday, January 9th, 2004
    7:17 pm
    maybe i am maybe im not either way though im not good enough
    yea so im alone on a friday night, that makes me feel really cool let me tell you. i thought my bf was gonna be home tonight to talk to me but i guess he decided to sleep over bens house so im just alone and...alone yea thats about it. kinda sucks. so for may program i wanna do a movie like direct my own written script and i told my mom and she was like yea yea but then she fucking goes behind my back and signs me up for this trip out ofthe country BEHIND MY BACK WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, beause she thinks my movie is ridiculous. i feel so sad and alone right now and i have no one to turn to and no ones just really lonely...i dont even know what to do right now. im like aimlessly wandering around this empty campus wondering if anyone if they were here would be able to see me...oh well im feeling kinda depressed about everything...oh well what a day i love crying all by myself feeling helpless and like i have no one to turn to because no ones around and IM ALONE...
    i miss you tom...where are you?? i need you...

    maybe austines right maybe i am codependant...maybe im just an idiot...oy :(

    Current Mood: sad
    Current Music: Dido
    Monday, January 5th, 2004
    9:10 pm
    back to school
    "I'm always wanting you."
    well that about sums up my missing tom. i couldnt take my mind off him today i was like hm how about i go home now. I dont get to see him for 30 days. Me and all my friends with bfs were sad because we were like dude really dont get to see them for so long its not fair. so school was kinda uneventful. we had morning meeting first because they wanted to talk about rosa. i just felt...anger that god or whatever higher spirit would take such a young beautiful good person. then i had history, chemistry, english. mr. talbot is still out sick which totally sucked because i needed to ask him something important and it also sucks because i want him to get better already, we all know how badly his add must be kicking in by now and i know he is restless and eager to get back to teaching. Then i had two frees and i spent them sort of missing tom and playing with my digital camera and figuring out how many different ways you can divide until i go home again. Then i had algebra two which sucked i got a 77 on my midterm exam way to go jen...not!!!shit that sucked especially since i thought i did well. then i had spanish and i drew my shoe with hay in it for some spanish holiday tomorrow. right. hm. i met the new girl fell today. fell is definately a cool name. and shesa cool girl. she has her tounge peirced. so jealous. and shes wicked nice and seems funny and cool. definaetly a new girl worth getting to know. Anyways now i am going to go back to my room and be bored because i cant talk to tommy because he is recording. so tommy i hope the demo goes well and i love you!! ok everyone...peace!!~

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Blink 182
    Thursday, January 1st, 2004
    7:09 pm
    Baby on Board
    Well Neesh and I just watched a speacial on the 80s and laughed our asses off good stuff. We also today built a wonder in the sand. A big rocket ship fully equipped with cannons and such. and if you dont think a rocket can have can. I stepped on her rocket ship. it made her angry. i laughed. haha. Just kidding neesh love you!!~ I really miss tommy. i wish he wasnt at band practice tonight!!~ i wanna talk to him but hes not makes me very sad...very sad indeed let me tell you.I miss you tom. I can not wait to see you on saturday nite and then again on sunday before i go back to school. I love you!!~


    Oh and by the way carrots are fatteneing.

    gay guy: omg watch out for those carrots
    Jen: Carrotes dude im worrying about packing on the punds with chocolate.

    Current Mood: silly
    Current Music: Billy Idol...oh those eighties...gotta love em...NOT!!~
    7:09 pm
    Baby on Board
    Well Neesh and I just watched a speacial on the 80s and laughed our asses off good stuff. We also today built a wonder in the sand. A big rocket ship fully equipped with cannons and such. and if you dont think a rocket can have can. I stepped on her rocket ship. it made her angry. i laughed. haha. Just kidding neesh love you!!~ I really miss tommy. i wish he wasnt at band practice tonight!!~ i wanna talk to him but hes not makes me very sad...very sad indeed let me tell you.I miss you tom. I can not wait to see you on saturday nite and then again on sunday before i go back to school. I love you!!~


    Oh and by the way carrots are fatteneing.

    gay guy: omg watch out for those carrots
    Jen: Carrots dude im worrying about packing on the punds with chocolate.

    Current Mood: silly
    Current Music: Billy Idol...oh those eighties...gotta love em...NOT!!~
    10:53 am
    Happy New year!!~
    New Years eve is overrated man. Its an excuse to get drunk...and thats about it. Mine kinda sucked..not terrible but not great either. I spent it watching a movie with my lil brother and on the phone with tom. my first words of the new year were i love you too. to tommy of course. Next year my senior year and 2005 i will be with tommy and we will have an amzaing new years...oh well. Aneesha and I are gonna go tubing and kayaking today and stuff so maybe i will get some sun. maybe not though since im like a flipping albino. who knows man. I hope. I wanna look a lil tan compared to libby haha who got flipping BLACK in saint thomas. Baby your gonna make me ;look like a ghost haha. Anyways im gonna go get ready for the sun. Missing tom so much i can barely stand it. Much love and a happy new year!!~


    Jenny bean...

    PS. Tommy- skittle misses you very much. she told me so!!~(oh but i miss you more)

    Current Mood: mellow
    Current Music: Vanessa Williams (oy haha)
    Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
    7:08 pm
    Happy New Year!!~~
    Well its seven and I'm not feeling well at all. My stomach hurts wicked bad and my head is pouding and I am kind of achy and I miss my boyfriend more than ever. I wish I was with him tonight its awful. I just need to see him so badly. I miss him. oy. Not much to say just being bored and wishing more then ebevr i was witht om and not this lonely and misunderstood by the parentals...they say i am letting go of oppurtunities why dont they see tom is the best oppurtunity of them all...oh well...i just wanna be a regular teenager not this beaming socialite who studies aboroad why wont they just let it go...oh well...peace out!
    i love you tommy more than anything in this world.


    Ps. Toms away message is awesome and i adore it~~

    Current Mood: sick
    Current Music: Mid atlantic-P.O.T.C
    Tuesday, December 30th, 2003
    1:01 am
    A star dies a light still burns **
    well tonight was rough let me tell you. When the IM screen flashed across my IM as Rosa, you know rosa from our school, she died. what i thought?? what a terrible thing to joke about. But she wasnt kidding. Rosa Lopez was in a car on December 26th when a grey hound bus hit her car and she was killed. I cant eve...explain what I am feeling right now. Empty and numb and just in shock. I keep picturing her smiling face in my mind and thinking no, theres no way she could really have died...i mean death How could she die. rosa...smiling amazingly kind and gentle rosa. It just doesnt make sense in my head. it wont register. Why her. She was one of the nicest people i have ever met. No one ever said anything bad about her. you couldnt. she was perfect and kind and sweet and beautiful. To die so young is soo fucking unfair. i am beside myself. how can there be a god if these things happen...its things like this that make me question my belief...why would god take her...why not the evil people screwing up the world like saddamn hussein...or osama...why her...not that i wish death upon anyone but still...oy what a night...tom stood by me through it all comforting me and telling me everything was going to be allright. he was soo nice to me tongiht and really helped me not have a complete mental breakdown. He is so perfect and tonight has helped me realize how appreciative i should be of him, my health and saftey and happiness, my friends and family and my life....i dont know...i just dont know i feel numb and sad and in shock..
    thank you tom for standing by me...i love you and i think your incredible...absolutley incredible... am so in love with you...i adore everything about you and cant wait to make that pinky swear become a vow ;) i love you
    libby even though were fighitng i love you and your wondeful thank you for our friendship....
    oldfields stay strong and hang in there. i will always be there for you and i am so glad we all share such strong bonds and we can all be there for one another..i love you all...we'll make it thorugh together...

    world- value life you dont know when it can be tragically stopped and put to an end.

    Rosa- rest in peace. you will be very very missed. every day you will reside in our hearts and we will never forget you or the light you shone on our community. your smile was contagious and you were an amazing kind loing person. we love you. WE WILL MISS YOU~!

    rest in peace....

    goodbye world and dont take anything for granted and go out right now and tell everyone you lvoe how much they mean to you!


    Current Mood: numb
    Current Music: blink 182-"I miss you"
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