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(1 blow jobs | suck mine) [16 Dec 2003|04:32pm] http://www.livejournal.com/users/skankydoodle/ my new journal...well...we shall see. p.s.-if you cant see the link...well, i dont know what to tell you but its up there ; )

( suck mine) [15 Dec 2003|10:25pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | world inferno ] such wonderful things have occured since my last update. well not really, and its not like theyre important or anyones going to agree with me. i think they were wonderful but im sure you guys could care less. so friday me donna and brandon went to richards house. steve was there. we almost didnt go but im glad we did, i had fun. hahahaha we went to wendys and on the way to brandons car there was this shopping cart rolling down the parking lot so steve ran and stopped it and it almost hit this car so he went to push it out of the way and he pushed it and it turned and hit the car and it was so fucking funny...and the lady got out of the car and like yelled at him it was great. that made my day. and also the fishtail brandon did on the way back to richards house hahahahahah i flew into donna and it was pretty MOTHERFUCKING funny. let me tell ya, mhm. and i mean, i saw my richard so of course it was dandy. it was fun. we werent there very long but it was worth it. saturday for some reason i did nothing which was pretty un-fun. i dont like doing nothing when i could be doing something. ya know what i mean? so then sunday i was all excited about the world inferno show but it got cancelled because of the snow. oh how wonderful the snow is! it couldnt have come at a more perfect time. no it couldnt come like monday morning? no it had to come sunday...OF COURSE. a day that i was waiting for. ugh. i mean theres a makeup date obviously but still. now we just have to wait longer...and other things. i was listening to world inferno before and i realized theyre like...SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. like i already realized this but i thought long and hard and theyre like, amazing. theyre perfect. they always put me in a better mood and agh i just i cant believe theyre so good. and im upset i hadnt listened to them sooner. and before i ever listened to them everyone always made a big deal of them and i wondered why and i know why. theyre fantastically spectacularly wonderful in every way shape and form. and i mean that. cross my heart and hope to die stick a needle in my eye. but anyway...so i couldnt do anything sunday...which led to more boredom and a very unfufilled weekend. besides friday...friday was good. i did dance in my room for quite some time though and wow, i love dancing. like...i dont care if im good or bad, its soo fun and like its so cool how somehow im always perfectly coordinated with the song. not that im trying to say im good or anything, but i love it. and even though im by myself...its like the best thing in the world. maybe if i did it as like an activity kinda thing...something i could do besides go on the computer, i could have something to be proud of. though, nevermind. but yeah. im going to be a dancer : ) this morning we had a delayed opening which was kinda nice. nothing special. i hung out with mike in the morning cuz i didnt know where to go and its amazing how cute he is. haha i love him. hes so fucking cute. for rillio. hes kinda mean sometimes but im still in love withs him. he said he didnt like my hair. some people said it looked bad some people said it looked really good some people said they just need to get used to it, i dont know. i like it. i also like light. who cares. its hair. what can ya do? ashley says i look "normal" : ) ok i humped alyssa and her backpack whilst trying to get away from a very annoying person and he was like RIGHT there while i was saying oh my god help me alyssa. and then i felt a little bad. but welllllllll. umm. yeah. oh my god BED!!!!!!!!!! :::metal screamo voice::: so today i came home from school and rose asked if i wanted to go to woodbridge with her and rich and i thought that would be fun so i decided to go and i wanted other people to come but i couldnt think who and i figured dan lives by rich and i hardly hang out with him so i suggested dan but no one got ahold of him so i imed him and said "fag i wanted you to come to woodbridge with us" and so while driving he called and i was like o yay i have a friend. but i honestly dont think danny considers me one of his friends. i cant tell if hes serious or not and if hes joking then its funny yeah but if hes serious its really mean and for the most part i think hes usually serious cuz he doesnt usually laugh afterwards so yeah. i love the kid but who knows. we went to burger king...but we never went to the fucking pet store. haaaaaahaha on the way there, rich stopped short and this shitload of ice and snow fell onto the hood of his car and we all got scared. it was pretty funny. and, we almost got in an accident twice. at one point rich screamed WOAH GUY FUCKING...something. and it was pretty darn funny. haha i love reechie my brover. i miss seeing him a lot. hes a good kid. good kid. i always enjoy his company and our talks are always good. awww. ::hugs:: for reechie. (rich) for those of you losers who dont know. mmm...we listened to the new blink 182 cd and its so like relaxing and i like it. so yeah i had fun...i dont know if anyone else did but i realized i havent actually like "hung out" with danny in like 92709339876 years. but yeah hes funny. and twas good fun. now im home, and a little tired. and i got my progress report and SOMEHOW, i have no idea how, im only failing one class. its amazing...just plain amazing. and i knew for a fact i was failing world studies but i could have sworn i was failing all my other classes. im so proud. hehehe. boys are fun to play with. haha...yeah! i sat with scott on the way to votech and we talked about joe and scott keeps telling me to go out with him. and well. who knows. i sat with matt on the way home from school and i love that kid. hes so nice haha. he accidently grabbed my boob. ya know, accidently. and hes a cool person. i for some reason was laughing hysterically on the bus and then id look at him and just laugh more and it was extremely hard to breathe. oh my god holy jesus i love ovaltine. its the best. i think i might have a livejournal. who knows. i wonder? boy oh boy!

( suck mine) WELL THEN! [12 Dec 2003|04:24pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | less than jake-johnny quest thinks we're sellouts ] my wrist/arm still hurts. how wonderful. so...yesterday this kid kissed me on the cheek while eating chips and when he kissed me a chip fell out of his mouth and um i didnt know but alyssa and brandon started cracking up and im like stop! and theyre like a chip fell out and i was like ah ewwww. ugh. face down ass up thats the way we like to fuck. so...today in world studies, john, felipe and i shared my moms very good peporoni bread. mmm. its so good. kenny wanted some ha! but he didnt get any. we also ate stale oreo o's...the marshmallows are very chewy. haha. a little chewier than they should be. and i gave john a back massage cuz im the nicest person, i dont get anything in return but a kiss on the cheek. but then again, thats good enough. jamesy wamesy, john, felipe, kenny and i all had a conversation about masturbating and nasty stuff. james says there was a girl masturbating with a piece of shit. OH MY GOD. i dont even know how thats possible. but i gagged when he told me. yeah we came up with some pretty nasty stuff...lemme tell you. haha...OH lord. i did really good in algebra! i kept raising my hand and she kept calling on me. votech was fun. mike and joe came in and emily and i spiked their hair. and it was so funny and we all kept laughing it was great. FUN. haha. it took us like 20 minutes just to start cuz emily and i are a little...ya know. joe says we're like a bunch of stoners trying to do hair. emily squirt me with the squirt bottle right in the eye and it was hilarious. and we were putting hairspray in joes hair and joe had the blow dryer and he was blowing all the hairspray back at emily and it went in her eyes and she fell back onto the seats and i was laughing so fucking hard and i had to like run across the room so i wouldnt piss, and i like almost tripped over this fucking thing. then matt came and he played with the vibrating chair and he was having so much fun whenever it vibrated between his legs, he'd giggle. and then i was sitting there...it was nice. yeah so, the whole ordeal was quite fun. there were these two spikes on mikes head that wouldnt stay and they were all little and "retarded" and hes like ill name them after you guys, one was emily and one was tara. and emily stayed up but then tara kept falling. and mikes like AH TARAS DEAD. and it just kept falling and it was somehow really funny. so, joe asked me out and i kept saying i dont know and stuff and scotts like come on say yes! and im like i cant just say yes i like someone else im sorry and hes like you wont regret it and im like i know but i dont know and hes like i see, youre saying no just in a nice way and im like no ugh. and like i felt so bad...and i felt stupid...but...i like richard so what can i do? yeah well...things were fun...and well i must go to figure things out about tonight. i think we're going to richards house. woohoo...PEACE.

( suck mine) [10 Dec 2003|10:24pm] [ mood | shitty ] [ music | nada surf-popular ] everytime i wake up from a nap i feel like shit. everyones so nice to me i love it. i love you people. except...k wow, today i was VERY pissed off. so i was standing in the hallway with my cd player about to leave for votech and this lady came over to me and shes like can i have that and i was like uh no i need it and shes like can i have it like being a bitch and im like uh no ill put it away and shes like no let me have it and i was like its mine though...and so she takes it and i got pissed off and im like i dont understand why people think they can just take stuff from other people and i was like oh my god im so mad and i like grabbed brandon and almost choked him cuz he was the first person i saw and shes like if you keep talking you wont get it back til june and im like uh yeah...so im coming at the end of the day to get it and she started walking away and im like...uh, when can i get it? and she turned around and looked at me like she had a fucking problem answering my question and she waited like 5 seconds and shes like today or somethng and im like ok and i was SO fucking mad, like, i was about to leave the school, i wasnt interupting anyone. she could have told me to put it away she didnt need to take it. and if she didnt give it back today i would have killed her. so i got on the bus and davids like whats wrong and i like screamed at the top of my lungs and the bus got completely silent and the bus drivers like calm down back there and everyones like holy shit and then davids like woah taras pissed everyone leave her alone and emily was like cracking up and well i couldnt help but laugh...and then brian was like wow your face is so red and im like leave me alone im going to like kill the next person who talks to me and he was like teasing me and repeating everything i was saying and kinda making me laugh haha. so we got to votech and emily and i were going for a walk, and this kid rob came and he was like so nice i was telling him about my cd player and hes like aww thats not right and stuff haha and we were all talking and he asked what my name was and then we talked about how old we were, hes 16...very nice kid. so we were walking back and hes like wait up and he ran up to me and held my hand and i felt like stupid i dont know why so i put his hand on emilys ass haha...and then we walked and hes like alright ill see you guys later and he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and then he hugged emily and kissed her on the cheek haha hes so nice. i sat with joe and all them. matt was like so tara when are you gonna flash us? haha. hes funny. today everyone was like yo that shirts hot. haha i feel cool becuase, i made it. kind of. and all day people were playing with the zipper asking if it opened up and theyre all like oh it should open up and miles was like ill cut it open for you. perverters haha. i love my friends. john is so nice today in world studies he just randomly came over and kissed me on the cheek probably because he wanted food haha but after class...he hugged rose and then he came over to me like he was gonna kiss me on the cheek and then he did again and then hes like im gonna lick you and i screamed haha cuz he licked me once. i liked it though. hes so cute haha. so, joe is so nice and i feel so gay cuz, im just...like. i dont know, im stupid. and whenever he says something nice to me i get all like, shy-ish and i start moving around haha scott was laughing at me. today scott told me joe likes me and stuff and that hes not just interested in getting ass : )...and joes like so you never answered my question from yesterday, the question being "what would you say if i asked you out" and hes like wow you remembered and i was like of course, i remember everything. i think he thinks i dont listen to him. but i do. i give him all these impressions like i hate him and stuff and he probably thinks i do or at least im like, weird. compared to every other girl im like so gay i really dont know what he would like about me. but hes so sweet and i feel like a complete idiot, i never give him straight answers or i get nervous and like...start rambling on. and i hope he knows i dont hate him. haha. woah i should kill myself. but yeah i said i dont know to his question and he thought i didnt answer and hes like fine dont answer my question and i was like i answered im just not sure and hes like no no its fine you dont have to answer and im like noo and hes like nope, its all good. haha. im an idiotttt. and i didnt hug him...and i didnt call him...though he hasnt asked me to probably because he was annoyed with the fact that i kept saying i would and then didnt. why am i an idiot like that? jesus christ. anyway, i went back after school to get my cd player and the lady told me to sit down and shes like blah blah i was a little suprised at your attitude and whatever the fuck she said shes gay and then she was being like sarcastic when i left and shes like nice meeting you tara! and im like mhm bye. and then i felt a little bad. but she deserves it. i mean, i wouldve gotten mad if she took anything from me but, my cd player. just...no. i NEED the cd player and when people touch my cd player, well...thats just how it goes. she says we have to make a deal, i wont wear it in the halls or whatever she said and ill lose the attitude and im like um...yeah, and shes like see youre not saying like oh sorry i wont do it again youre still giving me an attitude. ha she never apologized for taking it. fag. whatever. anyway. TOM IS SEXY. and so is manny and so is all my friends jesus i have the hottest friends. i love you people with all my heart. ohhhhhhhh my oh my, world inferno sunday : )

( suck mine) [09 Dec 2003|05:08pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | inspector hector-diva star ] this song is wondaful! ...!...! woah, my goodness i have to piss. i did somewhat decent today when we played volleyball. i hit it over at least 3 times. mhm...sheras funny. joe joe is silly. haha me, jason and joe ran and went behind the big huge door that seperates the gym and there was like two sides and it was so big in there and like kinda dark and it was like a little house and we went back there and it was fun fun fun. well at least i was having fun. in bilology david was going around asking guys who was hotter, me or donna. and they either said me or neither hahahaha i think thats so funny. um, donnas better looking and, neither...ahhahaha. we're ugly shits. ok well donnas hot, matts friend let her get in the car while *the driver* and i talked about nofx? haha. we shall be seeing matt soon, i wonder if donnas gonna talk to him. ummmm...i like dont have sounds on aim or something. its all this like annoying beep noise when someone signs on and off and stuff. im gonna punch it. HEY! YOURE PART OF IT! yeah yeah...i fell asleep in english. it was kind of annoying. i dont know whats going on in "to kill a mocking bird" hm...world studies, i almost payed attention but then i didnt. oo i just cracked my neck and it felt good. lunch HAAAAAHA EMILY FALLED OFF HER CHAIR AND JASON DROPPED HIS BALL ON HER BUT SHE DIDNT SEE IT ahhhaahaha...ok i thought it was funny. she got hurt though i think but i love her. so mitch came and sat with us and emily and him were whispering to eachother and they wouldnt tell me but then emily did and she said mitchel said he thinks im really hot. haha...and she says he likes me. and that he said it, hm mitch likes me? i didnt think he like ACTUALLY did. nevermind. but thats cute. jasons funny and so is kenny and i love spanish boiz mhm. haaaahaha. woah i just swallowed a fucking ice cube thing and it was slightly large in size and i felt it go down and i didnt like it. so in the hallway after lunch mitch like grabbed me and hugged me and got really close to my face and i looked down and he said he was gonna kiss me and i was like no you werent and hes like no i really was gonna and then i hugged him and he kissed me on the head. hes so sweet that child. on the bus to votech emily i thought cut brians hair but actually she combed it but she like ripped his hair out and he said ow like 900 times and it looked like it really hurt him and i literally laughed for about 5 minutes straight. then i listened to joe and david cuz they were talking about me haha they were talking so loud i guess they didnt know or maybe they were lying and really hate me and they were purposely saying it loud. ya know? so david knew i knew he liked me or whatever. yeah votech was fun. miles called me over and hes like, david wants to know if youll go out with him and david hid behind his backpack and i was like aww, liar and hes like no he wants to go out with you...will you go out with him and im like aww david and hes like tara you have 4 guys that want you...you could have like any guy you want and hes like please pick me im like awwwwwww stop haha he was being so sweet and all that but i hugged him and said i couldnt because of other people and such. so then i went over to joe and i think emily told him i liked him or something and he put his arm around me and hes like, you know i like you right? and he was looking at me and hes like i do like you and im like nahh and hes like yeah i do you have to believe me i fucking like you and im like ok ok you like me haha. god im thick headed. i must piss people off so much because i deny EVERYTHING nice anyone says and i dont mean to do it, like it just happens and i know thats how i feel so im not gonna lie and be like yeah aww you do like me, i mean i know i should say it less and im gonna try but i think i piss him off cuz yeah im gay like that. so i told him david asked me out and all and hes like aw come on you cant do that to me and i was like i didnt say yes though and hes like what would you say if i asked you out and i was like ah i dont know and i was like but see, dont you fuck a lot of girls? and hes like well yeah but i like you and i was like but then if youre with a lot of girls then i wouldnt be anything special and emilys like but hes single he just messed around with people and hes like yeah theres a difference between hook ups and relationships. and im like yeah but...i dont know haha. hes a veryyyyyyyyyyy cute young man. woah, i just thought...hes 17. thought honesly why would he want anything to do with me i dont know but hes an awesome person. : ) i love my friends. so scott did his hair all cool like with this stuff and then wiped the excess in my hair. haha, dork...i tell ya. i love scott though. mhm. ok but then i noticed my hair was somewhat reddish i was so unbelievably confused but maybe possibly its from scotts hair? i dont know how but i was really confused. i had like a tint of red. odd. who knows. maybe gods sending me a message. haaaahahaha, yeah. PRAISE JEEEESUS!! THANK YOU JESUS PRAISE JESUS! anyway um. miss p helped me out and wow my haircut was so uneven i was so mad haha. i cut hair so bad, i was better when i was little. yeah we watched some video, and then the tv was just left on and soap oprahs (whatever theyre called) were on and everyone went back to their seats and i just sat there. ROSE WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR DYING! (on tv) i felt silly. MHM. i was a little bored, like some people are you know mhm alyssa. i love autumn and emilio haha. yeah the bus ride home was tons o fun. i sat with jimmy and i was gonna tell him not to take my hair out of the pony tail but i figured if i said it he'd purposely do it, but then he did it anyway and i screamed so loud. and so for the rest of the bus ride, emily and i kicked the shit out of him and stole his hat and glasses and threw water on him and tied his shoes together and punched and kicked him as hard as we could. BITCH, thats what he gets. haha i love matt hes super fly. he grabbed my boobs and drummed with the bottles and emily threw the water out the window and it splashed on this truck and we all giggled and this bitch who sits in the front who i thought was cool but isnt, like told us to shut up cuz we were screaming cuz jimmy was being mean to us. fucker...so then we purposely yelled to get her angry. heh, yeah. i jumped on jimmy and it made me get a boner. haha i tied his shoes together and then i pulled his hood down and he couldnt see and emily put this shit in his hair and it was so fucking funny. i laughed so hard, we really kicked the shit out of him and he like, sat there. and then i attacked him with the broom while emily stole his glasses haha it was great, good times... i had a blast. poor jimmy. he knows i love him its just i dont want him taking my hair out : ) WOAH I LOVE YOU ANGUS BEEFFER. i need a nap and thats final!

( suck mine) [08 Dec 2003|05:20pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | afi-bleed black ] i dont even care anymore, but isnt it true that sometimes when we say we dont care that just means we care more... i like boys. mhm mhm. haha. boys do make better friends than girls though. well at least i think so. i get along better with boys. MILES SAID I MATCHED TODAY! nice? im oh so very good at volleyball. ha, kenny laughed at me : ( im going to kill myself outside of the school at 3 o clock sharp. right right. joe didnt mention anything about me not calling, i figured he'd be like ok wow kill yourself youre a moron and youre gay and you cant just make a simple phone call ha...thats true, 100 pa-cent true. lunch was tons o fun. for some reason emily and i couldnt stop laughing and it was a swell time because, i do enjoy laughing. it was funny, no one at the table could figure out why we were laughing and that made it funnier cuz they is dorks. brian had a condom and emily shoved it down my shirt and i kept it there for a second and then i took it out and threw it at brandon and he was like ewww thats nasty get it away haha. it was used too, i saw brian fucking some teacher in the girls room earlier today. actually who knows, ew i hope it wasnt used, i dont mind if it touched penis but i do mind if it touched any womans areas. ew. ok but i admit i kinda liked it down my shirt. i dont think kenny felt too good, he wasnt in world studies and he wasnt talking during lunch. poor kid. world studies was fun, i watched kevin sleep while he was supposed to be taking his test...and william and i talked and he gave me the finger at least 20 times...cuz hes william and all. hes definately the weirdest kid i know but i like it...it kinda makes me want to touch him in naughty places ha, actually no. hes just william, kinda like my little brother. anywayyyyyy i think its funny when im talking to someone and i started the conversation and they get yelled at haha. though i dont think anyone should be getting yelled at, but its still funny. mmm this gum is yum. haha, could that have sounded any gayer? maybe a little. at our "free time" thing at votech...i was being called by so many people i almost like killed someone. joe and scott told me to sit with them and matt and this other kid were asking me something about taking pictures of girls in the locker room and so i was like hold on and i went to the table and matt kept like grabbing me and hugging me and trying to look down my shirt when like supposedly he has a girlfriend or something...i love the kid, but...eh. haha so matt was calling me and david was like tara come here and so i went to him and he made me sit on his lap so i did and matts like are you trying to hump him and then he was moving davids hand towards my boobs haha and well, i understand he was like joking around but i know hes the type of person like that...i was like, youre a pervert!!!!! leave me alone!! and walked away and hes like no tara come here i love you and he was like hugging haha. i like hugs. i think he thinks im a whore or something? taras not a whore...alyssas a whore : ) and too many people were talking to me and i was trying to go to joes table and everyones like no stay here so im like come with me and theyre all like no and blah I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH. i have lots of husbands. what if i seriously did. that could in some ways be kinda funny. KIND OF. man oh man. i can not cut hair. there was an experience in the girls locker room that made me giggle. kursten said she liked my shirt on me and i was like thank you i like it too and everyone laughed and then rachel said something and i didnt hear her and i was like saying 20 things at once and then i almost fell over and everyone just kept laughing and wow im funny haha no but, i felt a little dumb. and like i think its nice when people laugh at what i say but when i dont know whats going on, then i begin to feel dumb. what am i talking about? i wonder. but yeah i love autumn and emilio. autumn and i were sitting there making RUDE fart noises and shoving our pens down our throats and i kept like gagging it was hilarious. i remember when devin and i would talk on the phone for ours and for like, 20 minutes we'd spend gagging ourselves and laughing hysterically at the noise it made. i remember once we were having a conversation and he choked on something and i died. i almost pissed myself, i really did. anyway...emily drank mountain dew which she shouldnt have done and got all shakey and such. CEISURE! i dont exactly know how to spell that you see. maybe i spelt it right? who knows who cares. there was a snowball fight when arriving at votech and that fag kept making it look like he was gonna hit me and im like, dont you dare...and he laughed and then he didnt...and well, good thing he didnt. i would have busted a cap in his ass. actually i dont know what i would have done...maybe kicked him in the balls or have shera punch him or something. it was fun though. when donna and i were walking outside she got hit with a snowball and i think it was being aimed at me cuz that kid (the fag) hahahaha...but it was quite hilarious. then he threw some snow at me and i looked at him and im like fucking faggot and he giggled and walked away. i dont think he'd actually like throw it right at me but i swear if he does... WOAH. the bus ride home was fun...i sat with matthew, and him and jimmy kept tickling me and throwing combos down my shirt. and i kept stealing jimmys hat, and i didnt know what to do with it so i threw it to donna but she wasnt paying attention and it hit her in the head and i laughed so hard i didnt mean to do it though. i love matthew, hes sucha cool kid. we talked about metallica together and sang together and he protected me from jimmy. hehehe. i love him! i love my friends. then i moved across from jimmy and we played with the broom and swept the back of the bus...and laughed...and HE TRIED TO PUT HIS HAND DOWN MY SHIRT and well yeah i kinda liked it. haha, stupid boys. theyre all so horny. i bit my tongue. well its joeys birthday today. we were all supposed to do something but i dont know if we are so if we dont, him and angus must come to fridays this week. woahhhh sunday is world inferno. steven said hes going to dance with me : ) i love him to death. mhmhmhm this morning when i was getting ready for school i turned on the tv and there was some shit on about jesus and this woman was on cocaine for like 8 years and she wanted to stop and she got some letter in the mail supposedly from god or something and it gave her instructions and she followed them and she stopped, and she also got money or something when she really needed it and it was supposedly god or jesus or one of them, and she was crying hyterically and she was like PRAISE JESUS THANK YOU JESUS JEEEEESUS!! and i didnt wanna laugh cuz the woman was crying, but i tell you it was funny. but sad. i felt bad for laughing but...well...come on now. dannys friend thinks im hot. he says he thought i was nasty back when we went out ahha and really im not saying im good looking now but back when dan and i went out i really truely was nasty and i dont know how he ever called me pretty. but this did make me laugh. forms end me: well I'm an original forms end me: I liked you when you were "ugly" but the thing is, i still am ugly............haha NEVERMIND GOD!!!! okkkkkkkkk im going upstairs now chicas y chicos. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE

(3 blow jobs | suck mine) i wanna be a homosexual [07 Dec 2003|06:33pm] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | the distillers-red carpet and rebellion ] who wears short shorts? you wear short shorts youre so full of shit why dont you admit you dont have the balls to be a queer ok, im trying to put my afi cd in the computer but the cd thing wont open. i have no idea why. but its kinda pissing me off a little. uhhhhh oh...i forgot to call joe. well, i mean i thought MAYBE ill call him over the weekend but i didnt. so tomorrow is joe's birthday and he wants to hang out con alyssian, me, brandon...and! kenny wanted to also hang out : ) i miss that child. he says the girls at immaculata are hot but theyre all boring, and he cant talk to them for more than 2 minutes...but he says he can talk to me forever and i never get boring. heeeehehe, thats odd. actually, im not boring because im always like, hyper...well i am boring but not only that but im extremely annoying and im not just saying that i really dont understand how people can talk to me and be around me cuz i know when people annoy me i just kinda ignore them and i know what annoys me and then i think of the people who are around me all the time and i dont know how they stand me. i really really dont. especially brandon, i must piss him off so much. poor kid. so tomorrow i suppose the deal is, im chillaxing with alyssa, brandon, joe, and kenny. aw i love those childs. but ang wanted to go christmas shopping so who knows. but.......yeah. we put the tree up today, i was asked to help buttttttttt i didnt. and now i feel bad cuz putting up the tree is exciting and fun but i was too busy down here. yeah...alyssa and i were supposed to go to berkeley heights today. but well, that didnt happen haha. i was gonna see if steve and richard wanted to come here...but that also didnt happen, and i dont know if it could have. i was gonna call devin last night and have him come over but i didnt. haha theres so many things that are supposed to happen and never do. adrian asked how i was doing in school. ha i dont even know. bad? mhmhmhm. kenny sanchez is hot. haha HAHA...if he reads that he might make fun of me. before there was a little fight-type thing between myself and 2 other gals. haha, lesley sent her friends to piss me off. i dont know why? at first i didnt know what was going on and i was pissed off but then i found everything out, and then it was just fun. but i just talked to this girl, and things are figured out and everything now. i dont really like being mean. im a nice person. i kinda wanna make a christmas list. mmmm i like tsunami bomb. i havent really listened to them in like, a month. ouchies, i bit my nails...and they hurt! hahhhhhhhhhhaha. silly me. well now.........i have one more thing to say and that is: i, tara cassaro, love richard whiteside ; ) and thats that.

(1 blow jobs | suck mine) [06 Dec 2003|05:33pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | jimmys chicken shack-what do i do ] i just watched rugrats...and there was this girl that chucky liked and he didnt think she'd like him so he pretended to be someone else and so he was gonna tell her the truth and she said she found out that her friends were lying to her and they didnt like her and it was some joke that her and her real friends were playing on her. ok now. it was even on rugrats...a little kid show...and you people think im stupid. see it can happen. you dont know who you can trust. stupid idiots. since it snowed and ive been bored, and ive had nothing to do and nowhere to go...ive been watching tv. well actually just last night. i stayed up til 5 am watching tv...i watched 28 days later and it scared the shit out of me. angel was sleeping on me and she just randomly sat up and started growling...and wow...i almost had a heart attack. she always growls at the wrong time. hm devin was supposed to come over today...and last night i was supposed to see sgr, the show was cancelled and i couldnt go anywhere so i slept til midnight. WHAT A GREAT NIGHT. we got sent home early from school and the whole lunch room started screaming when they announced it. haha it was kinda funny. cuz my table had no idea so everyones just screaming and we're like uh...what the hell. but its ok cuz we found out! haha...and brandon drove me evan and sean home...and theyre like floor it, and the fucking car was going all over the place. and that was realllllly cool to do. it wouldve been even cooler if we got in a car accident! HA THAT WOULDVE BEEN AWESOME! um yeah. so we didnt have votech but i kinda wanted to go since it wouldve been a free period and i wanted to talk to joe. and matt is also super cool. and i need to figure out who called me. haha cuz rose is an idiot. brian is extremely sexy and i love him. aww. hahahaahaha brandons away message is "golf" why do i hang out with him? because im madly in love with him. we went to circuit city the other day and played with the cell phones and took pictures and went on aim and called richard : ) and also, richard definately doesnt like me. i know this because, i know...im smart. nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah hey jude. ive updated a few times but this fucking computer like wouldnt work...and it kept like, not updating. ive always been a sucker for a brown eyed punk rock girl and for her id shoot the world. -catch 22...wow theyre amazing. i have the whole cd down here on this computer but i dont have the actual cd i cant find it and im very pissed off about that. i always cant find my dude ranch cd and i dont know how thats possible. but i better fucking find it. ugh. im so dumb i lost like 10 cds haha and theyre all like the best cds. and all my cds skip. and all the cases are broken. haha wow. im an idiot. i ate so many listerine strips yesterday. oh my god...before my cd rom thing opened by itself and then i got a message that said... VIRUS ALERT! Your computer is NOT SECURE and WE CAN PROVE IT!! If ANY of the following things occur on your computer, then you need to secure it IMMEDIATELY! * If your CD-ROM drive just ejected * If a big "PRESS ENTER" page just popped up and took over your WHOLE screen when you click HERE * If a program on YOUR OWN computer LAUNCHES when you click HERE! * If a file from YOUR OWN computer can BE OPENED when you click HERE! (It should open c:\windows\win.ini as an example) * If YOUR OWN hard drive directory can be accessed from ANY WEB BROWSER. Click HERE to test. ummm....thats extremely odd...and im so confused and brandon said... MiSFiT 0018200: the cd thing on the computer just opened lil see 916: hahahaha lil see 916: by itself? MiSFiT 0018200: yeah lil see 916: theres this program called sub-7 lil see 916: its a hacking program lil see 916: and you send this file to someone lil see 916: and they open it but nwothing happens(that they can see) lil see 916: and theres this really cool feature that turns the persons screen black, and you can type eon the screen and what y9ou type, shows up on their screen lil see 916: like in the matrix ok and now im just like...scared. stupid thing. jeez. ok so...angel has her period and she bled on the kitchen floor. oh god. what the hell is wrong with my computer. uh. anyway the other day matt grabbed my boobs and joe and scott made a plan to pretend joe was my boyfriend and he was gonna beat him up so joe walks up to matt and hes like what the fuck is your problem why are you touching her like that ill kick your ass and matt like backed up all scared and hes like im sorry tara im sorry and then he started a conversation with joe trying to be all nice and then at the end of the day he held the door open for joe haha it was so funny but i feel bad. everyones mean to matt. anyway so people are soo stupid and...wow. i think me and alyssa should kill everyone in the world. yes. haha supposedly dans friend jason thinks im hot but i think he was kidding for some reason. nevermind. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...im in the mood to like hurt someone really bad...................

( suck mine) [01 Dec 2003|09:55pm] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | misfits-hybrid moments ] oooo...yesterday i wrote a long entry but it got fucked up. darn. oh well. mhm mhm. jimmys a sweetheart. haha he had his arm around me. damnit i never called joe. and he told me to and im gay cuz like, i dont call people. hehe...wow. idiot. woah i just found two quarters, i think theyre brandons but well i might need them. i went to angus beefs house today and i love her with every beat of my heart. mhm. well...we had a blast and a half. we saw jr's mommy at whiton...and went on the play things at the playground and looked in the windows and these kids were looking at us like we were idiots. probably cuz we are hehe. haha brandon had a nice leopard jacket. woah im gonna put pictures up. havent done that in awhile. devins sooooooo nice ugh. he called me a few times and i feel so bad cuz i was down here and never got his call. that god damn computer needs to start working upstairs. i love devin and hes so nice and he wrote about me in his journal aww. ugh. delaware was fun. got a new camera. gee...what am i gonna do with that. im gonna take it everywhere! its a good camera : ) HJAH MHM. ok so...oh my god brandon just tried to kiss me. hahaha kidding. ok so, i want to kiss richard. yeah i REALLY want to kiss him...and well, i love him and miss him and i better see him this weekend. ahh ive been having hiccups all day. james wamesy got moved away from me today in world studies...it was sad, it was like um 2 minutes we got to spend. then bam, hes gone. but you see...im in love with him. garrets sexy. mike, its boner time. YESS!! ok what the fuck, catch 22 show friday, less than jake show yesterday and i couldnt go to either? what...um...stupid? hahaha oh today at brandons house alyssa and i ran out of the car and ran back to brians house and all these little kids were walking down the street and we went over and talked to them and alyssa asked how school was and they were like why do you wanna know and they were calling us gay and i swear they thought they were the coolest kids...it was so funny. i was like WHAT?! and acted like i was going to kick their ass but then i kinda figured they might tell their moms but i called them gay. i mean come on, they could have been nice. sheesh. i mean, if i were them id feel honored to walk with such hot girls like alyssa and i. anyway... picture time (cause i know you all want to see them so bad) the ground was cold by the way tara and alyssa are bored we believe in a safe form of sex mmmmmhhhhhhhmmmmmmm i love those kids...but thats all i have time for. BYE NOW!

( suck mine) [27 Nov 2003|12:01am] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | audio karate-do you miss meaning everything to me ] so...hi guys. my computer upstairs really doesnt work. yeah, last time it was just messing up kinda but it would work after awhile...now its just not working at all. its pretty gay if you ask me. life is too short so love the one you got, cause you might get run over or you might get shot : ) so...yesterday brandon and i ventured to shop rite, and i was talking to nyna, shes so nice. and i found out that shes 20...i was like woah. 20's not much older than what i thought she was, but 20 just seems so old even though its not. and like...i get along with a 20 year old girl...its just odd. first of all i dont get along very well with girls, i do...but not as good as guys...and the fact that shes 20. im proud of myself. haha. so i went in the bathroom and i came out and this girl was like hi roses sister, and ah...it was a girl! and i was like whats your name? and i was like oooh jessica (i read her name tag) and i was like nice to meet you...then she was like, yeah i saw you walk in here with brandon and i was like yeah im always with him and shes like yeah i saw you and thought you were so pretty then i realized you were roses sister and i was like awwww no. it was so nice. i should have told her she was pretty too. haha. i felt really dumb. i cant talk to girls. yeah we saw kevin. gotta love that kid. oh well. so...after shop rite me, brandon, aj and rose went to fridays. wow...i spent 11 dollars on my meal and i ate so much i was like mad at myself. i used all my money. on food. FOOD...im sucha pig. ok...so today. gym...I CHANGED! crazy. i mean i used to change but i havent in awhile. i was talking to joe and mitch pretty much the whole time. yeah...the whole time. mitch wants to have sex. well i mean...WOO. so...biology, we went to the library and that was nifty. i went on the computer with donna and linha joined us...and then joe and david and mitch came over and we had a fiesta. HYMEN!!!!!!!! nevvvvvvvvvermind. i think i love lindsay. ahahaha i put my gum on the side of the computer and i took davids hand and i was like woah feel how warm the side of the computer is and put his hand on the gum and hes like what ewwwwwww. hahaha. good times. so that was fun. algebra...mmm i forget what we did. haha miss roreich is so nice to me. like she was yelling at the class for not having their homework and stuff, and she was giving everyone zeroes and then i was like but...i have half and shes like its ok i gave you credit anyway and she smiled and i was like yippy. haha. wow, a teacher actually is nice to me. and gives my credit. nice. shes actually pretty cool. then english...we read 2 minute mysteries, theyre so fun to figure out. well once miss kennedy gives us clues. she actually like laughed today. and we were talking about the clues and shes like yeah thats pretty gay and shes like i mean...i shouldnt be saying that im a teacher. and it was so funny for some reason. im good at those mystery things...so after english, everyone went off to 8th and 9th period...but everyone who goes to votech got to leave. hehe. HA! but well, i didnt have a ride home...and i wasnt gonna sit in the library...so everyone was outside, and joe told me to come with him and a few other people and we walked to wendys...we were gonna go to the mall but then we didnt. haha. and it was like...me and donna were in the back the whole time and joe, david, nick and erin were all in front of us. it was pretty gay. i mean its ok if they didnt want us to come...but they shouldnt have told us to come. oh well. i mean, it was fun. but gay. joe bought me fries. i was gonna share with donna but i didnt wanna. so then carlos told me to walk back to the school with him for the bus, and so me and donna went with carlos and then matt, pat, joe, brett and david came along...and we all walked back to the school and they were all throwing chicken around and david threw some at me and it smelt bad haha. faggot. matt walked over and put his arm around me and pats like you have a girlfriend. hahaha and just everytime matt comes by me pats like you have a girlfriend! and like...lately everyones been thinking i like them or something. whenever i go by someone they think i like them. like the other day i said i love you to matt and hes like i have a girlfriend...and then today was like mike! and hes like tara i have a girlfriend even though i think he was joking haha. i mean i know he has a girlfriend but i dont think he thinks i was trying anything...but still...the only person i want is richard : ) so...we walked back to the school and donna and i didnt know what to do...i actually kind of wanted to walk around mainstreet by myself, but i had no money. i wanted a group of people to come but i kinda just wanted to hang out alone. ive never done that before. and i thought itd be fun to walk around mainstreet alone. if i had money. which i dont...so, donna and i went back to the school, and this kid let us inside he was nice. haha. and we then realized that school didnt get out for another half hour, we didnt know where to go so we went to the library to see who had study hall and brandon did so we went in there and the teacher was flipping out and i wanted to like...wow. i wont say it cuz someone might call the cops! but yeah it was pissing me off. and i only had to stand it for like a few minutes but brandon says shes like that everday. so i sat with brandon, matt, carl, brittany, her brother and donna...and it was kinda boring and i was in a bad mood so i listened to my cd player kind of. i asked chantel if she was punk. and anna was like shes somewhat punk and i was like oh somewhat? max is kinda punk too. GAY. so...what a day. it was pretty stupid. so john was bringing me and brandon home...and while driving, brett called and then we all went to lunch. mcdonalds. i wasnt really hungry. i ate wendys. so i kinda just sat there staring at the M on johns french fry thingy, and then id stare at the table and i could still see the M. it was ca-razy! kept me busy. yeah then we drove brandon home and i sat mike and a few other kids riding their bikes. i love mike. hes so cute...i dont like him but i love him. haha. i mean i dont like him, but i kinda dont like the fact that he has a girlfriend for some reason. i used to like how he'd ask me out like everyday haha. even though i always said no. oh well. cute kid. so then john drove me home and i came home and well...i didnt know what to do and i was tired so i took a nap and i wanted to like go out somewhere...but i ended up sleeping til like 9 something. and when i woke up i couldnt tell if it was 9 am or 9 pm...and my mom told me brandon called and i thought it was 9 am and i was like woah why would he wanna hang out this early...and i saw the kitchen light was off and i was like wait, no ones up yet? i was so confused. but yeah. whatta wasted day. i guess you could say today sucked a little. well i did call richard, and that was good. but...i dont know, he hates me. and everything is extremely gay and im gonna go now. tomorrow is thanksgiving...yippy skippy. i suppose ill be watching the parades tomorrow morning, thats always really exciting. im just a little angry cuz if i decide to go online, ill have to come down here unless the computer upstairs starts working. and well...i kinda wanted to be able to go in the room every so often and leave it on, i dont wanna have to come all the way down here. jesus christ...everything is oh so very annoying.

( suck mine) [24 Nov 2003|03:51am] [ mood | pleased ] [ music | nothing at the moment ] interesting news: my name is now...tara whiteside...well its only tara whiteside because i said so, but hopefully i'll marry richard and that'll be my name. more interesting news: all i have to say is "are you punk?" "kinda" .........does anyone have a gun for this child to borrow? alyssa you knowwwwwwwwwww what im talkin about son. i mean come on, i think we're old enough to not be that stupid. mall last night...fun. i love alyssa b angelo and brandon scott jacobsen. we saw kenny and erick and they talked to us and stuff. they were kinda mean haha but i love them and their hottness. theyre funny but really they do hate me. THSCORGE!? lesley said good evening ladies, and alyssa and i just kept walking...and then i kinda felt bad. we saw amanda and i couldnt help but scream punk because i mean...she is sooo punk. why is it "cool" to be "punk" these days? alyssa and i were standing by this thing near wendys, and theres this little window, and it opened and a guy was there and holy shit...we both got scared and then like fell on the floor laughing. haha we all stood by the bathroom while brandon ate his pretzel and it smelt like shit, i dont know why he chose to eat there. he was like i need a drink, so we had to wait for him to finish. and we just were watching him and cracking up. micah is hot. I MET BRANDEN KNOWLES. woah, crazy. hmm i kinda forget anything else that happened. wow so... i love richard lots and lots. hes basically the cutest person i know. best person also. hes perfect really. woah its 4 am and mother just woke up. i dont usually do this. i hope she doesnt think i do. or maybe she'll forget. wow........i need sleep. its almost 4:30. well richard will be going at 4:30 so i guess ill go then. he said he was going at 3 haha. sheesh...i love him. hey now...youre an allstar. goodnight.

(1 blow jobs | suck mine) [22 Nov 2003|11:15am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | i wouldnt want to live in a world without grudges ] jesus im jumpy just relax ya dumb motherfucker...ah sigh, i cant wait to see world inferno. anyway, last night was interesting. i was trying so hard to hang out with richard, and like...we couldnt and i didnt wanna spend another weekend without seeing him so...i told my mom and dad i was going to the show (i had to lie and i really didnt want to but its worth seeing richard) and instead of going to the show we drove to richards house which was an adventure i thought we were gonna get lost. but we didnt! well we kinda took awhile to figure out where to go but i congradulate brandon, he was the one driving. yeah so, we got there and i met richards friend and we all kinda just stood outside for a little bit. it was somehow fun...good thing i had a warm jacket. ha! then we heard music so we went to search where it was coming from and we got like 4 feet down the road and the music stopped and we came back and went inside. i met his dog. i dont think she liked me, she let me pet her and then she walked away. im usually good with dogs. brandon says i get everything to love me so easily, cuz shawny follows me all the time now. haha...yeah i know everything and everyone loves me. oh yeah shawny's at the vet cuz hes really sick ugh i hope hes ok. poor widdle puppy. so yeah we went up to his room and we had to be quiet cuz the baby was sleeping in the next room. psh i wanted to see the baby. hahaha i told brandon he called richard uncle richy and richards like no he cant talk yet and i was like i thought you said he calls you uncle richy and hes like well he would if he talked. it was funny. hahaha. ok so we all jumped on the bed and that was fun! the orgy was great. hahahaha then steve had someones foot in his ass...it was richards, and i think they both liked it. haha. woah nelly! oh my god world inferno is so fucking good. anyway...so richard and i layed in his bed pretty much the whole time. it was nice : ) i got to lay in his bed...next to him. woah. ha i know youre all jealous. i felt so bad for brandon he looked so bored and ugh i love you brandon. im sorry. yes......so, i love richard. a lot. that was great...and i got home on time and there was no yelling or questioning, and i didnt feel so bad. but its not like i did anything wrong my mom was gonna let me go anyway. i just really really hate lying thats all. anyways, so...im going somewhere with ang and adrian...oh yeah and ang is moving out soon i believe. i would go downstairs and live down there but its too cold. hmmmmmmmm...i mean, i never see ang anyway but the thought of her moving out is weird. we're going to look at houses i think. SHE SHOULD MOVE TO BERKELEY HEIGHTS! and then i could go visit her, and richard and all the wonderful sexy kids who live there. ok...well...now im off. i love you!

( suck mine) [19 Nov 2003|10:34pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | metallica-master of puppets ] i like when i get out of the shower...i feel nice and clean. not enough people commented. devin filled it out over the phone. hes a little sweety. yes he is. hes one of the funniest people i know. he always makes me laugh hysterically. gotta love that kid. so...now... Shake It Henry: oh my god i was jsut thinking about the l,ady in pet cemetary Shake It Henry: cjksjcksjcvskjf Shake It Henry: and when we watched it and i like cried MISFIT 0018200: STOP MISFIT 0018200: ill die MISFIT 0018200: oh my god MISFIT 0018200: ew MISFIT 0018200: what if she crawled out of your closet MISFIT 0018200: hahahah MISFIT 0018200: oh my ofd haha i thought that was funny. whenever she sleeps over we watch pet cemetary and like cry in my room. if i was downstairs right now, id probably be crying. anywho...things have been ok. joe is probably expecting me to call him but im an idiot...he said he was gonna call me last night but he wasnt home. see if he wants to talk on the phone, id rather him call me cuz i dont wanna bother him. he has his nose pierced, it looks sexy. yesterday, at votech we were all taking the railing thing out from the holes...and it was just like leaning against this pole...and we were all trying to lift it and joe came over and lifted it with one hand haha. hes strong. they all dared emily and i to walk into the building with it...we lifted it and then dropped it and it was so fucking funny...it was like sliding on the ground it was so loud. i wonder what would have happened if we brought it inside. so joe asked why i never called him...and i said cuz i just dont usually call people unless they tell me to and hes like well then gimme a call today and well i didnt...but he said i looked good and had a good personality. and he said "i like you, i dont hate you" and i dont know if he meant like as a friend, or the other like. cuz supposedly he does like me. but well. WHO KNOWS! hes a cool kid. oh my god its amazing...kenny and i talk now. i thought that would never happen because he's way above me...hes really good looking and cool and stuff, i could never talk to him. BUT WE TALK! its crazy. and jason always hugs me and tickles me haha OH MY GOD, the two hottest kids in school talk to me. haha...and like the hottest person in the world talks to me (richard) damn...i have really good looking friends. well richards a little more than a friend. im not makin much sense here. well yeah, i think mitch thinks im angry at him. aahaahahahaha yesterday he like accidently pushed me against the wall REALLY fucking hard. it was a little unexpected...it didnt really hurt, it did but it didnt...i just couldnt catch my breath. but it was pretty funny. i gained two pounds...since, umm the beginning of october.........umm...if i keep up at that rate im gonna be 400 pounds soon. damnit. spilt water on me. im like always hungry. i would try to eat less but see thats not possible. anyway...john gave me a hug yesterday and like fell asleep on my shoulder. awww. i love that kid. ok now mike is so cute...hes a little perverted and thats ok sometimes but ya know. he just likes my boobs (well not really just mine, pretty much just boobs in general) thats all he wants me for. boob grabbing! anywho...i was sitting with matt on the bus, i never really realized how cool he was. haha. never really cared for him. but now i think hes really neat. he made me cry on the bus haha...and then he was like you have knots in your hair and he was playing with it and his hand got caught. hahaaaa. and he says im a bad kid and im like no you are, i heard you set someone on fire and hes like damn no one was supposed to know about that...and just the way he said it, and the way i pictured it, i laughed so fucking hard. oh man. during break today, we went to the area of the school with all the um...i dont know, machines and crap...and we were looking for joe...and we were going to all the classrooms asking for joe, it was funny. and then kursten and julie joined us and we were just walking around and then miss coleman came and i said emily made me come with her cuz she wanted to talk to the boys and miss coleman was like OH!! and shes just so funny, she never gets mad. and she always yells at us for talking to boys. not actually yells but shes always like, im gonna let you go on break but stay away from the boys! shes silly...i love her. AND OH MY GOD, mr kafer is the cutest old man i know. like it sounds gross but hes soooo cute. hes all little and stuff, and he always looks cheery even when he yells. hes like baby cute...but an old man. nevermind! i love jamesy wamesy so much. and alyssa, i love her. hm i fell asleep in english, it was weird...every so often id hear a few words, then fall back to sleep. it was annoying. i wonder what chapter 6 is about...i wonder if we had homework. yeah so last night brandon and i were really bored so we went to toys r us, which was a good idea. nice one brandon. so we were playing on the bikes and scooters and i cant fucking ride a bike anymore or something i dont know, i was crashing into the balls and stuff. so brandon got on this little barbie scooter and the wheel popped off hahahaha. we made some friends. not really but we kinda talked. um this kid said something and i thought he was talking to me but now that i think about it, maybe he was talking to his friend. i dont know. but it was so exciting...all the toys. a lot of them were gay, a lot of them were cool and some of them were gay but cool. i cant wait til christmas! welllllllll my shows are on now...so im gonna go. but just incase any of you wanted to know...i love richard : )

(9 blow jobs | suck mine) [16 Nov 2003|05:32pm] What Do YOU Think of Me? AM I: 1. Quiet or loud?: 2. Short or tall?: 3. Weird or original?: 4. Cute or sexy?: 5. Nice or mean?: 6. Friendly or selfish?: 7. Normal or special?: 8. Smart or stupid?: 9. Boring or fun?: 10. Attractive or unattractive?: DO YOU THINK I'M: 1. A psycho?: 2. Athletic?: 3. A nerd?: 4. A slut?: 5. Ghetto?: 6. A Bitch?: 7. A Player?: 8. Two-faced?: 9. Obnoxious?: 10. Immature or mature?: JUST SOME QUESTIONS: 1. Do you think I'll get married?: 2. If you do, who do you think I'll marry?: 3. When is my birthday?: 4. Who is my best friend?: 5. What song (if any) reminds you of me?: 6. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?: 7. What animal am I most like?: 8. If you could re-name me, what would you call me?: 9. Have you ever had a dream about me?: 10. Do you think I'm a virgin?: 11. If you could give me anything, what would it be?: PERSONAL: (you don't hafta answer dis part if you're of the same sex) 1. Am I (physically) ugly, average, decent, good- looking, beautiful, or hot?: 2. Would you ever kiss me?: 3. Have we ever kissed?: 4. Would you ever consider being my boy/girlfriend?: 5. Do you ever think about me off-line?: 6. If we spent a day together, where would we go & what would we do?: 7. If you could describe me in one word what would it be?: 8. Do you or did you ever have a crush on me?: 9. Do you wish we were closer?: 10. Do you love me?: your comments are requested

(1 blow jobs | suck mine) [16 Nov 2003|01:02am] [ mood | curious ] [ music | matchbox twenty-bright lights ] tonight was fun. i hung out with devin...i havent hung out with him in so long. and beth also, i think she like hates me and alyssa or something. she seemed mad that we were there. but shes cool. i saw a lot of people i knew...kinda figured i would. the mall is a popular hang out place for teenagers. i saw john and he asked for money but i said i always give him food in world studies haha so he said fine and didnt take any. but he did drink some of my soda. and purposely got spit all over the straw. haha. i love him though. micah and his friends were there. mike johnsons like, mean in a nice way haha or something. he hardly talks. micahs friend thought alyssa was hot haha i kinda could tell he did. i saw dan, again. the past like 10 times ive gone to the mall ive seen dan there. and back when we went out we hardly ever saw eachother, now we see eachother a lot. i also saw ryan and he actually came over and said hi. aww. cool kid. we talked to these two kids we saw last weekend at the show...they were so little so we wanted to know how old they were. they were 12. i saw reed alisha and this girl brianne...theyre all so nice. they told me to pull up a chair. i saw heather and ken and kate. mike and pat. joe nick erin kristan and erick...can you say gay? maybe. i saw jess, she waved...aww. and a lot of sexy boys. mhm. alyssa and i were putting our drinks on the escolators...and i put one on the thing you hold onto and it fell and when it got to the bottom it was just there spinning and everyone was looking at it and it was funny. then devin threw a penny down and it made a loud noise. alyssa cell phone friend was nice. we picked up magazines they had for people to take and we handed them out. no one really wanted them. i felt stupid asking people. i was actually the only one asking. i tried to get these peopl to take them by asking if they thought bionce knowles was hot and they were like hell yeah. one nice young man took one...and he was cute too. mhm. alyssa and i saw a lot of hotties. oh yeah i saw matt, i havent seen him in like forever. hmm...devin is so so good looking haha. i havent had the chance to hug him in so long. but i did tonight and hes so skinny. all my friends are skinny. oh yeah i love alyssa. we saw little kids running and screaming and dancing and we just laughed hysterically. there was this one little baby we saw and we laughed so hard and then i felt bad cuz we both looked at it and just started cracking up and the mom probably thought we were bitches. AHA! yeah richard was supposed to go. and he almost did i think...yeah i probably couldve gone to his house. yeah wow i havent seen him since um...the beginning of october? wow. do any of you know how uncool that is? well im going to sleep now...im kinda tired. goodnight.

( suck mine) [15 Nov 2003|01:47pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | suicide machines-break the glass ] my stupid fucking computer upstairs isnt working and im so mad. and im probably gonna get yelled at like its my fault. and we cant get a new computer, and if we try to fix it i might lose everything like last time. and yeah im just a little angry about that. i could use this computer but its annoying coming down here all the time. and yeah im having a glass of soda and i shouldnt be. umm yesterday was fun. school was alright. in world studies our seats got moved!! and its horrible. ahah actually i was pretty much the only one who got moved. but i still have john a few seats back, felipe and kenny a row away, matts not too far, and william is right there OF COURSE. will is always close by. so its not that bad but i cant talk to james anymore hes the farthest away. ok um i got an F on something in english yesterday and thats really fucking stupid since she marked me wrong for something that joe had the exact same thing because i copied and he got it right. and i didnt everything i had to do and she even said i was doing good...but i still got an F. um...she probably doesnt like me or some shit. in gym, i was lifting weights and stuff. haha im so good. david was trying to make me do the bench press thingy thing but i didnt wanna do it with everyone watching me...because, well...everyone was watching me. so yeah. "the dyke" got mad at mitch and i for walking through the halls and i was like well i didnt have to get changed...and she was like oh coach carty shes not changed...and like i dont think he noticed so i didnt get any points taken off until she said something but if hes my fucking teacher he should know anyway so why would she feel the need to tell him. fucking ugly bitch. lunch, oh my goodness, i couldnt take it...william was over there calling my name then brandon then emily then mitch then kenny then carlos then jason and rose and everyone was like calling my name and it was like a big circle around me and i was like oh my god stop talking and it was just too much. haha. but holy shit, kenny like talks to me now. lunch was fun though...i liked having a lot of people around me to talk with just if they all talked one at a time. anyway...votech was nice. of course i got all nervous and whatnot, cuz i always do when we go there. but yeah, i went over by joes table and he was like are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna sit down so i was like yeah hold on. and then i went over and sat. and then we burned ourselves with pens. haha that was fun. joe like didnt feel it or something, id like do it to him and he'd just sit there and then right after id put the pen on me and flip out. haha mike told me he called my house the other day from this other kids phone. and he was gonna scream like dick sucker into the phone but my mom picked up...so i dont know what he said. haha hes funny...and he actually knows my name! woo. so then the pen broke and we all wrote all over the table with the ink which was a lot of fun. so then cosmetology was basically a free period. so emily and i did our hair. she straightened mine and put a zig zag thingy in it and glue to hold it. and everyone was like oh my god it looks so good and autumn said she'd always be honest with how i looked and she said i looked ok yesterday and then after she did my hair she said it looked really nice and everyone said it looked nice. haha. too bad my straightener kinda sucks. yeah so emily and i went on break around 1:45 and didnt get back til like 2:15. and we were only supposed to go up to the vending machine but we went up around shop rite and just sat in the hallway drawing on her shoes which was fun. then i wrote emily <3 spencer on the wall and she crossed it out. oh yeah and joe had my bracelet and he said it kept him from being bored. yeah so on break emily, joe, and that other kid i forget his name and some other kid sat together. then we played piano and i talked to josh and he was showing me all his welding stuff and we played with the tape measurer. and then he played some songs on the piano and emily tried to get my bracelet from joe but its all good. i woulda let him play with it longer. haha. carlos said my hair looked so nice. hahaha. it was funny the way he said it. joe said it looked good and said i shoulda done it like that before. and yeah it was a fun break. then we went back to cosmetology and as usual miss coleman didnt notice, or if she did, she just didnt care. haha. so then i crimped emilys hair, it looked cool. and jess went to get my attention and she accidently like grabbed my boob and she was like ohh my god im sorry and then she was like i like your hair. haha. oh yeah autumn and i got in another water bottle fight. haha. she got me right in the face but then i got her back and she says monday shes gonna get me back haha. funny shit yo. so after school brandon came and joes dad wasnt there yet so i waited with him and all these other people and joes friend, i cant remember his god damn name...he told us to follow his bus haha. he actually like talked to me. woah. yeah, and so i was cold, and joe put his arm around me and kept me warm. : ) yeah then we left and jimmy came. then we dropped him off and came here and played with the baby and i put her on the couch and she was fine and then brandon came over and she staretd crying and then i picked her up and walked away from brandon and she was fine. so then i fell asleep on the couch and when i got up, me brandon and rose went to coconuts to meet up with aj pat and this other kid zack but they were all in the car so brandon and i got burger king and they went to toys r us. and i wanted to go in too but brandon and i took so long to eat. so then we went to arbys cuz everyone who didnt eat wanted that. and we went and brandon got ketchup all over the floor. we sat at the table burning ourselves with the pen and then aj broke it and pat was having fun with the ink and got it all over the table so we covered it with a tray, and put cups and napkins over all the other spots on the table. haha it was quite funny. pat says, drugs are really bad. haha um aj i think told zack i was weird. he probably knew that already. anyway we made weird mixes in the little ketchup cups and no one would eat it so i did and it was actually good. yeah so...afterwards...brandon and i were headbanging and spazzing out in the car and having so much fun with the music blasting and after we were driving for awhile with aj behind us...brandon and i were just singing and stuff and then aj hit the back of brandons car. hahaha it wasnt good but at least everyone was friends and stuff. we pulled into a gas station and brandons car was like not even messed up at all but ajs car had a lot of marks in the front and a little dent. but yeah, of course the good car got messed up. it was kinda funny, but it wasnt. haha at least it wasnt bad and no one got hurt. but yeah then we went and got evan at jamies house and we saw john walking to the football game and i talked to him for a little bit and then i danced in the street and then we stood in a circle and figured out what to do haha. fun. then i went home but no one was there so i went with brandon and evan to jrs house and i didnt really want to go but then when i got there i had fun so i decided to stay. i watched them all play guitar and bass and then we played with this beach ball thing and then we wrestled and we did other things and it was actually a lot of fun. haha. and then i came home around 11 and i knew my dad was gonna be an asshole about it and he really really was. i told him the whole story and i could have lied and said there were other girls there but i didnt wanna lie but yeah he flipped out over the fact that i was the only girl...and he swore i was lying and he was flipping out callin me a liar said i made up the whole story and asking why i was with three guys and hes seriously the dumbest fucking person i know and i understand im his daughter and he wouldnt want me with three other guys but he didnt have to be such a fucking dick about it. and hes like i know shes lying she lies everytime she goes out and i know it and my moms like she not lying blah blah blah and hes like i know im right, i know im 1000 percent right. and you have no idea how fucking pissed that got me. that he said that, he said he knew he was right...and the fact that he was wrong. he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about and he still said he was right. i wanted to punch him in the face so bad last night. i cant fucking stand him. i really really really wish my parents would get a divorce. and then he fought with my mom and she was right the whole time and he was wrong but he kept saying he was right. and he said when he gets rid of all of us, then i could do whatever i want but while im still living with him, i gotta do what he says...and he always talks about leaving us or kicking us out and not caring if we werent around and shit...i just wish he would actually do what he says and leave us. all he does is cause problems and yells about everything. the only thing is, without him...we'd have pretty much absolutely no money. but really, i dont want him around at all. i never want him around. i wanna move in with one of my friends : ) ugh ok so um...i dont know what im doing tonight...if anyone wants to hang out, call me. i was gonna see if i could go to richards house or something but i REALLY doubt that especially because of what happened last night. so...any other ideas...call me.

(5 blow jobs | suck mine) [13 Nov 2003|12:43am] [ mood | horny ] [ music | dimmu borgir-burn in hell ] before, i was sitting there and i was like...i think im in a good mood. like i wasnt thinking too much, and i was ok. it was odd. too bad good feelings never last. i dont know how i feel right now but my day was pretty alright. in gym now we're going to the weight room!!! yay. im gonna get strong and stuff. hahaha, im so dumb i like dont know how to use any of the stuff and i kept like hitting mitch by accident. like, there was this thing and i pushed it and the other side came out and hit mitch like kinda hard hahaha. im so stupid. i hope he forgives me. yeah i was on the tred mill thing and i stepped on the front and it made this loud noise and i got scared and jumped off and coach carty was like are you ok?! hahaha i was laughing so hard cuz of the sound...it was the best sound. yeah so...going there should be fun. afterwards, mitch and i walked together and then did push ups on the stairs while everyone else went to change. i knew someone was gonna think i was a lesbian for drawing a rainbow on my folder...today sheera was like youre gay?! im like no. haha. but i drew a rainbow on her folder also. now people are gonna think we're lesbians together. haha. im starting to get like really fucking annoyed with people taking my stuff, like im a nice person and i let people borrow stuff of mine but people dont fucking give it back. and i ask and theyre like NO YOU CANT HAVE IT BACK in a joking way like theyre fucking funny or something...its not funny. if i had something of somebodys and they asked for it back i would give it right back, you dont do that with peoples shit. like people seem to take advantage of the fact that im a nice person and im really starting to get pissed off. i dont care if people borrow stuff as long as they give it back. fucking idiots. anyway! andrew better give me my belt back. in algebra, i wasnt paying attention at all and i really dont get what we're doing. but yeah, i talked to scott and he was asking me about joe and asking if i would go out with him and stuff...and i asked what hes said about me...but yeah then i got yelled at for talking so i just talked to him later on on the bus, scott sat with me. woah. he let me listen to some songs, they were pretty good. and he likes thursday, i just cant see him liking them for some reason. yeah so he says that girl is really jealous of me and he says its so funny seeing her get mad and stuff haha. and he was telling me about how the first time joe ever said anything he thought i looked cool and wanted me to go over and talk to them and stuff. awwwww. well yeah anyway, english...we read more of to kill a mocking bird. in world studies we took a test and i knew one answer and that was it. i knew absolutely NOTHING else. like not even a little. haha...i had to copy like everything. i copied some of johns and then i guessed some true and false and then james let me copy some...im so stupid. but thats ok cuz i dont think im gonna need to know about um, whats it called, like the romans and stuff. i forget. yeah rome, and shit. i dont need to know that and if i ever need to know it, ill find out about it myself. or whatever. anyway, that was kinda funny sitting there staring at the back of james' chair doing nothing until i finally could look at his paper. oh my god mr kafer was like i love you all, you just sometimes annoy me. and it was soooooooooo cute, he said he loved us. and he says hes a big teddy bear hahahaha. ew im talking about an old guy here, but really hes sucha cute old man. when he said he loved us i was like OH MY GOD. hahaha. nevermind. anyway, i love james. and john just like ate my food and had crumbs on his mouth hahaha. he laughed at me cuz the only thing i knew on the test was the word veto. lunch...jasons so funny haha. ewwwww he spit on me i almost died. i love him though. so hmm...erin got pissed off at david because david said my "chest area" was nicer than hers. thats kinda mean. and he likes her hahah i dont know why he'd say that. anyway hahaha. mitch is hot and sexy. and im very hot and sexy. no no. ow...my stomach. kenny is so good looking, jeez. haha. so then votech! i was scared to go haha. im sucha loser. i hardly talked to brian and deets today. aww...i hope they know i love them. i talked to scott mostly. and he told me to sit with him today and wait for joe and sit with them and holy shit, nick goes to votech. i didnt know that and i saw him and i was like oh my god and then i told donna and she was like oh my god haha. i just asked what his name was cuz i wasnt sure if it was him and then i said yeah i see you at the shows and he was being kind of an asshole. but he randomly hugged me on saturday. so hes cool. yeah so joe got there and all his friends and i felt stupid because i dont really know any of them and they probably all didnt like me. and well i know the girl doesnt like me so ya know...i dont really wanna be around her. and shes always there. and like ugh im so dumb. while we were waiting for them i got so nervous and stuff. it was annoying. and oh my god i hate when i go in the fucking bathroom and theres other people in there and they just fucking stare at you. like...there should be no such thing as a public bathroom...i cant stand when i look in the mirror and someones looking at me. and so i go in there and i looked in the mirror and this girl was like watching me so i left. jesus christ. anyway so joe sat by me and like i felt dumb, i didnt know what to say and im not like that at all, and hes getting the wrong first impression of me cuz thats not usually what im like but then again, if i were myself that might be worse. but like that girl is always there and knowing she doesnt like me just annoys me and the fact that she like stands there and listens to us talking and stuff. and i cant look at him when i talk hahaha i like look all over the place when im talking to him. but yeah we kinda talked and i didnt know what to say. then he gave me his number but im never gonna call him. and hes gonna like expect me to and then when i dont hes gonna be like whats wrong with her. and he already probably thinks i have something wrong with me. yeah so cosmetology was funny, we had related first, and we had a substitute i dont know what work we had to do. no one did it. then we got a lock down thing and it was so funny, we were all like out in the open, if someone were in the building we would have all definately died. we should have went in the locker room. it was fun sitting there in the dark in the front of the classroom on the floor. though my ass did get numb. the drill took a long time. i got bored after awhile. afterwards autumn and i were playing with the shade thing and i pulled it and let it go and it flew up really fast and the class was like staring at us in the other room and it was so hilarious and autumn and i couldnt exactly figure out why it was so funny. but it was. and now that i think about it, it must have been funny from miss byrds room. hahaha, the shade just flies up hahaha. good stuff. hm so i pretty much get the fingerwave thing but im not very good at it but when i first started i couldnt do it at all so yay. and miss coleman let us use the good gel cuz she has confidence in us! woo hoo! yeah so we went on break and i walked with joe and mike and we stood on the stairs and then pat came over and we had a little social gathering. ewwwwww red goo. hehehehahaha. yeah i had to go after like 3 minutes. but i got to talk to joe. yeah so...then class...then joe said bye to me haha i wave to him every day. : ) the bus ride home was lonely. i talked to matt somewhat about music, and i kinda talked to dan and donna and jimmy but mostly listened to my cd player which is always good but i had no david! yeah but at least i got to lay down. then i came home and saw the baby and she is so fucking cute. and she like loves my hair. shes amazed by it. and she kept like, grabbing my nose and it hurt. and then i was so scared she was gonna rip out one of my earrings. haha i put her on the couch and she giggled a lot. shes so adorable. yeah so then the puppy and i took a nap. hes sucha cutie. i hope he feels better soon : ( mmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm ...this weekend im supposed to hang out with jake. that would be fun. anyone from berkeley heights is a pleasure to hang out with. speaking of which, hopefully ill be seeing richard this weekend if he wants to see me. and im supposed to hang out with tom soon also. and manny also. jake invited me over his house, im gonna try to go but my parents are kinda dumb so i dont think i could. but yeah. i like you a lot and id like to give you a kiss

( suck mine) [12 Nov 2003|12:10am] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | metallica-to live is to die ] ok so all i really have to say is...mhm. and about my day, in algebra we took a quiz and i asked the teacher if i was doing the problems right and shes like yeah youre doin good and then donna was like am i doing them right and the teachers like i cant tell you that you need to figure it out yourself. hahaha it was so mean of her. in world studies james and i talked, john and i ate...and then after awhile james got moved and then john got moved and mr kafer said i was like the reggie jackson of the class. HE CALLED ME REGGIE JACKSON. ......mmm? so, what else...oh in lunch, brandon mitch and i were in line getting stuff and brandon had his tray of food and mitch and i took like 5 handfuls of salt and pepper packets and put them on his tray and they were like piled up and it just looked so fucking funny, and me and mitch kept looking at it and laughing hysterically and brandons just like get them off! but i think he knew it was funny...yeah and then he went to switch his burger, and the lady said mitch and i were bad kids and told brandon he shouldnt be around us or something. i mean come on, that was just mean. we didnt do anything. yeah then we poured salt and pepper in a thing and asking people to lick it then the teacher came and took it away. BITCH. OSHHHHHHHHHHHH! ok so, brian is a sweety pie. him emily and i ass grabbing contest. i didnt even know. but i just slapped someones ass and said i win and well, i guess we all won. or something. so emily, laura, david, brian, deets and i all walked through the parking lot in the rain (not a lot of rain) and just talked and looked at this neat car i noticed. and then we ran...and i told brian to run into this thing and he did and got his pants dirty. haha. awwwww. yeah so then i came inside and i was looking at joe and i really wanted to go over and talk to him but i think all his friends hate me. not because i think everyone does but really, this girl like just stares at me everytime i talk to joe and im like uhh what the hell. i really didnt think she liked me so i asked joe and he said yeah she doesnt like me cuz she likes joe and i guess jealousy or something cuz supposedly joe likes me. and ohhh my god hes really cute. but yeah shes always around him and i feel like an idiot cuz she just stares at me and i can tell she doesnt like me. so i talked to him for a few minutes. then went to class hoping we could go on break and i could go see him and whatnot. and miss coleman said no break but then we did anyway and we went to shop rite and then i saw joe. so emily and i sat on the stairs with him and we talked, and i guess got to know eachother a little better, he put my number on his phone : ) he offered me a fruit roll up, and i offered him fritos haha. how nice we are. yeah so i was telling him how i think pretty much every guy just wants ass and hes like well im not every guy. and i said he was nice. haha. im a loser. yeah so then we talked about age, cuz hes 17 and im 14...ill be 15 in february i dont know when he'll be 18...but yeah he says he doesnt think age matters and i dont think it does either but other people seem to care a lot, like with brandon and i...people still cant get over the fact that brandons 18 and a guy, im 14 and a girl and we hang out a lot. hes 18 and hangs out with a 14 year old that automatically makes him a weirdo, i guess it never occured to people that maybe we hang out because we have fun together (or at least i do) and its not always about wanting sexual favors from the other person. brandons not a pedaphile. but if he were id think thats sexy. woah. anyway, back to joe. so yeah we talked and hes just so nice and sweet and good looking and stuff. it was nice to sit and talk...and also that girl was standing there like staring at us until eventually she walked away. she probably makes fun of me and joe laughs along with her. hmm...i dont like that thought. so after break, i was all ansy haha. i think i kinda got the fingerwave. it was getting me so fucking pissed off but i kinda got it. so after school...i talked to joe again for a few minutes and he asked for paper so i could write his number down but he doesnt know the type of person i am. he'd probably expect a call from me but i dont like to call people unless they tell me to and stuff. he probably thinks im so stupid. but yeah hes so awesome. pat says the other day, he was talking about me, and he dropped all his stuff and just kept talking about me and like, the way he said it haha. awwwwwwww. if thats true thats so cute. haha. anyway........brandon picked me up and we came here and saw the baby. i held her today! and she likes when i make this sound with my mouth. shes sooo cute. hahaha it was hilarious i was holding her and then i gave her to brandon and she started crying. silly brandon. i love him. yeah so that was fun except when she drooled, i kinda almost gagged. devin called me : ) and we talked and laughed. gotta love that kid. im thinkin i need to hang out with him soon. yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...so the mall, walked around...played with that balloon/frisbee thing, the guy was teaching us how to use it and we were just like what the fuck. it was funny if you ask me. popeyes biscuits are the fucking bomb diggity. that sharper image place is awesome. i was so amazed. they make robots oh my god, something i always wanted. the mall got boring though. oooh and i talked to mike! he got his nose pierced and he showed me. sexyful. we talked about jobs and stuff, when i have a salen hes gonna get stuff for free. hmmmmmmmm. hes a nice kid. so yeah, then we had no idea where to go so we went to wegmans which was actually a blast. we ate so much candy. it was amazing, all the candy. i had to jump with glee. eww thats sucha gay word. i followed the train. everything there is so christmasy i love it awww. the light up riendeer : ) it all makes me smile. its so cute and happylike. yeah so we ate the candy outta the things, i ate the nastiest thing. it was supposed to taste like soda but um no. it didnt. yeah i sat in the chair and read about michael jackson and stuff. never realized how cool that place was and thats why so many people seem to talk about wegmans i guess. i like the little area by the candy though, you can sit with a book and watch the train go by. its nice. so yeah i think i had too many popcorn jellybeans. oh man. then we went to shop rite and i talked to lisa about her brother, he supposedly said i was really cute. awwww thats so sweet...so im gonna like talk to him and we can become friends. i love new friends. ::high five:: i dont know why he'd think im cute but aww. i havent even seen him yet so yeah. we shall see. then just standing around shop rite and then just standing around in the parking lot with aj listening to music in brandons car with the window down. fun. i think i crack my neck too much. anyway...so after that we came here and my mommy got mad cuz i didnt get her burger king and i never called and i felt bad. yeah so then we sat around...and then i called richard. and richard is a cutie with a booty and a hottie with a body. mmmmmm. i love my richard. and him and i better hang out this weekend though i say that every weekend and it doesnt seem to happen...its sad. cuz i miss him. he helped me with my "to kill a mocking bird" questions. ooooooooowwww my boob. anyway, scrotum burgers and cum teddys!!!!!! aaaahahaha cum teddys how cute sounding. i love alyssa b angelo. and world inferno...soon. sweet jesus. and its something i could go to. niiiiice, i can not wait. oh the dancing : ) anyway...im dead tired, so.....toodles sweethearts. oh and manny, i love you! youre not a fucking moron. hehehe.

(2 blow jobs | suck mine) mhm [10 Nov 2003|05:34pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | nirvana-dumb ] i need things to be my way constantly or i get like a little bitch. yes thats right. BITCH. oooh it doesnt matter...doesnt matter : ) lets get shitfaced...wheres the weed MAN? oh my god tara go away, it would have been stupid with three people anyway, ya know? can i have that????????????????????????? i know you really well, i know for a fact all you want is attention. everyone who is sad is just doing it for attention did you guys know that? i'll kill you with my fist or the knife in my pocket and i should take a gun to my head i love you so much (im using you for ass) i need drugs... over the weekend i went to like 5 parties and got drunk and had sex with a few people i wear white pants...oh ok, im telling my boyfriend : ( i really like black sabbath yeah and thats about it...i have to act different around my new cool friends i read your journal even though i really do think its just plain stupid. omg ilu so much bff!!!!!! they called us woman!!!!!! why do you let them do whatever they want? we never did i hate you and i dont want you to be my daughter, youre a failure and i have no feelings do what i tell you...this is important but youll never need to know it i think youre annoying but im not gonna say it to you, id rather lie lying is ok, even when people get hurt mhm..........mhm...........mhm...........mhm sorry i couldnt make it, i just didnt really want to see you its NOT okay to show your feelings, if you do youre either a pussy or youre trying really hard to get other peoples attention crying is bad and EMO SUCKS ::tear:: if your dick is small, im sorry i cant talk to you yeah shes goth, really goth, she has black nail polish i hooked up wit some guy, i dont know who he is and i'll probably never see him again well see, i'm too good for you now ohhh yeah i love that band, whats their name again?? perfectlilcutie...yeah thats me cuz im perfect and im lil and im a cutie, just thought id let you all know yeah im proud to be an american oh my god how cool is that i like the misfits too, look at my shirt! and my underwear!!!! holy shit im a dyke its...all...about...money your imperfections make you everything you are i love you so much but i cant come near you no i dont give a shit about other peoples feelings and i realized, i'm nice for no reason. and youre all fucking morons.

( suck mine) show [09 Nov 2003|12:27pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | too short notice-bad day ] yesterday...show. i was excited to go and then i got there, they changed the bands, too short notice didnt play and a lot of people from our school were there that i dont like. that made some of the show, oh how you say...gay? but thats ok, i just ignored the ones i didnt like and had a pretty ok time. every so often i did get in a bad mood, and then id get in a really good mood, then id get in an ok mood. it was weird. some of the time i wanted to cry, and then some of the time i couldnt control myself. and brandon is a fucking pervert. he thinks like...boob grabbing allows him to like, do other things. or whatever he was trying to do. OH MY GOD I MET ERICA. after all this time. and i think i fell in love with her. well actually ew i hate her. no shes cool. haha. i really liked the hole in her pants. um i saw and i didnt wanna. she made me feel like a lesbian. hahaha. this kid, mike...he liked alyssa and erica and he was jacking off and we were all grabbing him and and it was weird feeing...and erica kinda grabbed it hard hahaha. but yeah it was kinda neat. we looked down his pants with a flashlight. not that i wanted to. i just kinda wanted to. didnt know the kid. he was a perbert! i met some kids who go to watchung hills...they asked if i went there but no i didnt so i talked to them and they were being so mean, they were talking about ryan and it was so mean...i was like no hes cute and hes so nice and theyre like no hes dumb. i felt so bad. they were being really mean. yeah so i was walking...and randomly this kid nick hugged me and then this kid chris hugged me and i like hugs : ) then i met this kid joby, he was definately very cute. too bad he like hated me haha. i introduced him to alyssa and them. he kinda looked like tom. he was sexy. i wanted to talk to him more but oh well. so i asked to borrow money from brandon (yes i will pay him back) and i was like can i borrow money from you and the guys like yeah come on shes cute, give her some money. haha he probably only said that so i would buy the cd, but he was so nice. and the guy said i could have the cd for 5 instead of 8 but i gave him 8 dollars...and he gave me 3 free pins. what sweethearts they were. nick was like begging me to buy stuff. mmmm nerds on a rope are sooo fucking good. its like the first food brandon and i agree on. i talked to some other kid, he looked kinda shy. alyssa wanted me to talk to him. but yeah. highschool football heroes were nifty...and i couldnt help but dance then everyone danced, and we all danced and sighhhhhh. i love dancing. and dancing with everyone is always so much fun. then erica pulled me out by my ear, and we left the show and ran through the streets screaming at the top of our lungs and running really fast for no reason really...and i lifting up my shirt for the hell of it...actually i did it for brandon. and i know alyssa and erica liked it too. oh yeah i got on brandon and then erica got on me and we humped brandon. and well, no never again. well maybe one more time. but anyway...we ran to the car. got in. and we were on our way to burger king. but first we all threw cookies around. well i mean, i got hit in the head a few times. hahaha. ill have a frozen coke...cock...frozen cock, oh my. i love alyssa. and i love brandon. and i love erica. haha. good times. ok i have a headache. i slept with the puppy last night, what a cutie he is. oooooo he keeps coughing and sneezing and breathing weird and i dont know what to do i feel so bad for him. anyway........

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