| 06:59pm 02/06/2008 | |||
| i havent used this journal in years. i'm not sure if i'm going to start again. it just seems like any journal site that i have a lot of time invested in, just dissapears i cant stand it. i hate losing years of memories because of a fucking computer hiccup. fuck it. | |||
| (2 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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| 01:22pm 03/09/2004 | ||||
Nothing has been happening lately. Every day is the same as the last. Well, yesterday was kinda fun, I tried gauaging James' tongue. He was being pussy about it but I'll do it the next time I see him. All I have to do it sit on top of him... That would make him happy and he'd be too busy thinking about doing me to care about the pain I was causing in his tounge. I know he wants me... He's made that nice and clear... I don't want him though... |
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| (4 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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creative| Too much information... | ||||
| 06:22pm 01/08/2004 | ||||
Last night was FUN. Zak spent the night. He went out after we got home and came back around 2:30am... He was tired, so I was nice... oh so nice! I didn't get any so I'm a little sad about that but he promised we would next time. It's so funny because he said he was tired and just wanted to go to sleep, I told him I wanted him to see what I bought at Victoria's Secret... *evil smerk* He liked it... It's just a bra... All black and lacy... He enjoyed looking at it, and feeling it... And taking it off of me. The only bad thing was... He left another fucking hicky on me [that bastard] I was proud of him tho... After all was said and done it only took him a little less then a minute to hook it again. Yea I'm a bitch... If you take it off, you have to put it back on... It's funny looking over your shoulder and seeing them fumble with it... I'm also a bitch because he has a girlfriend... Not that it matters... From what I hear, she's only 15 [Zaks 20] so the child cannot be touched. Sucks for her... diabolical laughter* Oh well! Then today, I went and bought some other... things... Sexy undies always make me feel better. MMmmm YuMmY... Expensive as hell but sexy none the less... Made me happy... Then PJ took me and bought me a new phone... I love it. Big Pimpin for a ring tone... today was a damn good day. |
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| (7 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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giggly| 07:21pm 28/07/2004 | ||||
Oh man... Sometime around the 17th or 18th, Zak was over. I honestly don't know what the hell happened. I'm no going into details but... I was sitting with him in the chair in the living room and the next thing I know we're... doing stuff.... It was all in good fun because we don't have feelings for each other. It's still wrong seeing as how it's my older brother's friend but meh... It's not the first time. I felt a little bad because I got him in trouble because I left a hicky on his neck. He lied to his father and my brother and said we were talking and I got mad and pinched him. Then 2 days later PJ [brother] saw the two Zak left on me. I lied and said it was from Cindy poking me. He bought it :) I saw him today. It's not as awkward as it was when I was messing around with David. Sadly though, I think that the other night with Zak was just a one time thing... and that sucks because... He's a giver... and he thinks I'm great... I've said too much. Nothing else has been happening. I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing for a while now. Oh well... |
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| (4 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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flirty| Sleep would be good right about now.... | ||||
| 10:59pm 14/07/2004 | ||||
I had a date yesterday... With Aaron. It was fun but I still don't like dating my good friends. I've known him since I was 3 or 4 and back then I wanted to marry him... But the past year, we've gotten so close. Anyway... I never got to sleep the night before last. Around 6am yesterday morning I was still painting. He came and got me around 10:45, we went back to his house, some how we ended up in his room. I laid on his bed, he laid with me and we wound up kissing. He tickled me... I hate that. He took me out, we saw King Author [good movie] He, of course, held my hand. We ran around Brandon and did a whole lot of nothing for the rest of the afternoon. All in all, it was a good day... it was fun but once again, I'd rather not date good friends. |
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| (5 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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hungry| Mmmm | |||
| 03:04am 11/07/2004 | |||
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Strange things can happen at strange times. The other night Zak and I were laying on the couch. It started off as friendly and somehow turned into a little more. We were sharing a beer and then next thing I know, he sucking on my fingers and letting me do the same to him. I slowed things down and put him to sleep. Guys are so much like babies... Lol... rub their backs, they fall asleep. This is the sort of thing that makes me never want to get any older... I haven't done anything at all this month. I've stopped looking for a job all together. Everywhere you go, there's nothing but punk ass little kids doing the job that I want, getting the money I need. I've been drawing and sketching again. I love using my charcoals but my entire room has a blackish dusty tint to it. I miss Charles. Ya see, it's guys like him that make the world complicated. "Oh, I have a daughter" and then he just... Stopped calling me. I mean, if things were to have gotten more serious, it would have been great... He already has a child... Which means I don't have to have my own. My parents hate both me and my brother for that... They both want grandchildern and nither one of us are ever going to have them. This was a random entry... The insomnia is back, I haven't slept in a week. Horse tranquilizers, anyone? |
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| (1 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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| 02:01am 26/06/2004 | ||||
I think I'll have to wait until I move out of my parents house to get that job. But only for the simple fact that there aren't any piercing/tattoo parlors around here and when I move out, I'll be moving to Brandon and I'm bound to find something there... Oh fuck... I have to get a lisence to do that... Well, I guess I'll just add that to my to-do list... As if it's not already long enough. It'll be a while before I'm out on my own... Oh well... I'm gonna go find something to do... it's after 2 and I'm bored. |
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| (3 Crushed Me ♥ Love Me?) |
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| 06:25pm 24/06/2004 | ||||
A major lack of car keeps me from going anywhere and a major lack of imagination keeps me from any artistic creation. Well, maybe not so much of a lack of imagination but a lack of intelligence. Maybe? Who knows... I haven't seen any of my friends in weeks. A few of them attempt to make plans with me but I haven't really felt like going anywhere with them. Being by myself is much better then being with most of them and having to listen to the same fucking bullshit over and over... listening to them bitch about being too fat or ugly. In other words... fishing for fucking complements. Not only do they have to be pretty, they have to constantly be reassured that they are. It's so overrated but they're too fucking shallow and caught up in themselves to see it. What wonderful friends I have... |
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| (Love Me?) |
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discontent| 03:14pm 24/06/2004 | ||||
JUST CHECKING THE LAYOUT COLORS... |
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| (Love Me?) |
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sinister_ |
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