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(She Speaks) [20 Sep 2005|09:58am] I'm bored. ( quizzes )

(She Speaks) [27 May 2005|10:16am] I haven't updated in forever. Was all hooked on Dave, huge crush, he liked Brea. So...I am hooking up with Dave and Paco's friend Chris right now. He's 27 which is a lot older than anyone I've ever had a crush on before, and he's pretty cool. Here is a message from Paul: Hi, i'm the best.....Thor needs mental help and needs to go home and kiss him momma

(She Speaks) Mmmmm [25 Apr 2005|09:51am] So, work at KFC is going okay for me right now. I'm working Drive-thru more and more, in fact, last night was an all girl drive-thru which at this particular KFC doesn't happen very often. Up til we got Beth as a Co-Manager, guys were mostly on drive-thru and girls were mostly up front. Last night Big Dave was on front counter and Rosa and I were on Drive-thru. It kind of felt weird, ya know? I liked it though. We weren't really really busy, but we managed to get it done pretty well I'd say. Big Dave and I have had some pretty good conversations at work. Somehow he can pick up on when I'm feeling down and he tries to help. I don't know any guys that would actually care how a girl is feeling. Most guys I know of don't want to have to deal with that stuff. He forced me to tell. Wouldn't let me do anything, I kept walking away and he'd pull me back. It makes me realize that there is more to him than I at first thought. He is the joking, funny guy, and teases me mercilessly sometimes (the first thing he did at work last night was hit me over the head with a plate) but he's deep underneath that exterior. He's just...cool. My first class got canceled, so I am at school a good two hours earlier than I need to be. I closed last night, and then stayed up later to get my homework done for this class that got canceled. Today I'm going to be moving as much of my stuff as I can. I neeeeeeeeeeed a truck though cause of the bookshelves and dresser. I don't think I can fit them in my car. I was thinking of asking Dave but he has to work today and tomorrow. This week our schedules are flip flopped in a way because we're only working two days together. Shifts are boring without Dave! And the thing is, I wouldn't be surprised if they make him a shift supervisor too and then I'll probably never get to see him :( Reminder: Store meeting, May 7, 7:30 am.

(She Speaks) [18 Apr 2005|09:45am] I hate KFC right now! I've worked so much that I can't barely function. I closed last night again, and then when I got home I couldn't sleep. I hate whining...but I'm so fucking tired right now! Huge homework due tomorrow, but I think I'm going to skip all but the one class and try to sleep. Also, I have tomorrow off, so I can go to volleyball which is really exciting. I got sick, probably from all work and no sleep, so I'm kind of miserable right now. Tired and stuffed up. What a wonderful combination. My head hurts. I'm so tired...aaah.

(She Speaks) [07 Apr 2005|09:29am] I GOT A RAISE!! So, that totally kicks ass. I'm not making minimum wage anymore, I'm making 15 cents over. I get $7.50 now. I've only been working at KFC three months! It took me over a year to get a raise at Menucha. Anyways, I'm also being groomed for a leadership position. Probably by summer I'll be a shift supervisor or crew leader. How does that grab you? Me in charge. Kind of scary huh. I find it strange because I'm the newest person there other than the co-manager, but that doesn't count. So, I'm the newest worker. There are other people that would be able to do it, but they're only in high school, so they might not want to. We're getting A&W pretty soon too, so that's another reason I have to 'step up' as Greg put it. Anyways, kinda cool. Anyways.

(She Speaks) [05 Apr 2005|01:18pm] So...talking at work, realized that I really need to get Starred. I haven't been working on that at all, but I should be able to pass the STEP tests for all the positions I know, Sandwich station, expediting, front counter and packing. Then after we get A & W I'll have to learn that stuff, and then be multi starred, then I'll go for All Star and then Multi brand all star. I want to get that done by the end of the summer. Is that unrealistic? Darn KFC! I'm studying harder for that than I do for school.

(1 Listens | She Speaks) Hawaii [30 Mar 2005|01:14am] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | kelly clarkson - since u been gone ] Hawaii was amazing! The weather was beautiful. Sun everyday, and even when it wasn't completely clear it was still warm. We got there at like 11:00 at night and it was like over 75 degrees. It was so warm I had to take off my sweatshirt. Friday everyone else went to Lahaina, and I slept, and chilled out. Saturday was church. Sunday everyone else did the volcano bike ride, and I slept in and chilled out some more. Monday was the snorkeling trip which we saw some awesome things, like whales and sea turtles, and of course fish, a shark, and an eel. Tuesday was the whale watching trip, we got 'mugged' like two or three times. Mugging is when the whale gets close to the boat. We saw some whale's breaching, including a baby. It was great. Actually I think I'm getting the days mixed up, but we also went to a magic show, and some Hawaiian theatre. Did shopping of course like I got some jewelry, a sarong, a ukelele, and some other little things. We left there Thursday night at 11:00, and got to LA around 6-ish the next morning and had a 3 hour layover, finally arriving back in Portland a little after noon. The car ride home was fun too, all four of us and all our luggage crammed into the car. Saw Sarah, and the munchkins...Estelle, Birdy, Tristan, Tasha and Kaylan. Saw Everett, he's still a hottie, but somehow I'm not really attracted to him anymore, which is awesome. Could be my crush on Dave...but we won't go there eh? Younger men, it would never work! Okay, maybe I'll talk about it a little bit. He's 18 or 19, I'm 22. But he's sooo cute. He's hilarious, when he's in a good mood. He's big and buff. Do guys ever go for older women? Is this a universal guy thing, or are they all different? For reals, I know nothing about guys. They are so confusing! I got two paychecks tonight. One was for $234.11, a 37 hour workweek, the most so far at this job. I can't wait for a raise. Still looking for a place to live. Worried, but eh that's life. Well, it's pretty late. 1:30 and I have to get up at 8 in the morning. Boy am I going to be tired tomorrow! I may have to drink Red Bull before class instead of just when I work. I wonder, the more I drink it, the less effective it might become because I'll start to get used to it. I had 2 tonight, might be why I'm still up. Anyways, peace peace yo.

(She Speaks) [16 Mar 2005|01:50pm] school shit to take care of, test and project. then food, i'm thinking taco bell. after that i'm flying off for p-town. tomorrow early in the am? hawaii baby...hell yeah. i wish my teacher wasn't such a dumbass though cause i'd already be half an hour down the road instead of having to wait til five-ish before i can leave. and the weather is looking rainy...my windshield wipers don't work. i don't know how to fix them, so i hope it doesn't rain. anyways, yes, i'm excited. be back in like...a week and a half.

(She Speaks) [13 Mar 2005|01:51am] I am starting to get psyched about Hawaii. Next Wednesday after school I'm driving down to Portland, and then Thursday I'm flying to Hawaii. How awesome is that? I had to work today, and like Greg said that everyone gave him good reports about me for the week he was gone, and people are pushing for me to get a raise. That rocks! I still feel like the new girl, who doesn't know anything and slows everyone down and to have many people praising me kicks ass. Makes me feel good. The only down side? I'm being scheduled for when CER is here, and I was so hoping I wouldn't be because of the feeling like I don't know very much yet. Basically, I'm cleaning everything in sight. It took me like two and a half hours to do the small back section of the lobby because Greg wants the booths, the walls, the floors, the ceilings, the lights, the windows, the doors...EVERYTHING spotless. I'm working again tomorrow night, which means I'ma probably be doing the same thing. Tonight wasn't too bad, except Cara bailed early...so I was trying to pack and take orders and I kept getting long lines....it's supposed to be fast food so when people have to wait they get mean. That's one of the things I don't like about working fast food. Also, Dave wasn't there. I love working with him cause he's so funny, he keeps me in stitches, and we totally flirt and tease each other, which is lots of fun. Like, right when I got there he was leaving, and he saw me pull in and he said I should be fired for being a crazy woman driver. Shit like that. And other stuff. Anyways, he's funny. Maybe tomorrow...well, I guess it's really tonight. Two more things to get done for school, don't know if I'll be able too, but whatever, I'll try. Little Dave, before he quit, kept trying to push me to put school ahead of work, and stop working such crazy hours. I mean, tonight, I left work one ish. I have a headhache now cause I need to sleep, but I'm hopped up on Red Bull, Starbucks, and orange pop. Peace peace, yo.

(She Speaks) [03 Mar 2005|10:54am] Alright, I've been sick for like a week now which really sucks. I'm at school right now, and I haven't eaten since sometime yesterday morning. I'm hungry but I'm afraid to eat because I'm afraid I'll start to feel sick again. Work yesterday was hard. I'm trying to take orders and smile and such and meanwhile I'm feeling awful. But, I got a good night's sleep yesterday so I think that's why I'm doing so much better right now. Man, I never thought I'd be working fast food though. I'm a KFC Peon! What can I do for you today?! The weather here is getting better, I even wore a skirt today. Of course, that's because my jeans are in the wash. I think after this class I'm going to go to Subway and get a six incher of veggie goodness and then I'll come back and finish this Access project for class, and then home to rest before work. Efrain isn't here today. How weird! Who will walk me to my car, or to class? How lonely. Course, I haven't been in class much lately either, but I've been sick! I have a valid excuse. I hope I didn't get him sick. Hawaii...a few weeks and counting. I'm not thrilled that my aunt and uncle are coming. Kind of preachy. I mean, we're going to be in Hawaii. I'm going to live in my swimsuit which means both the navel ring and tattoo will be highly visible. I can just imagine the shock and outrage. Ugh. I'm still excited about it. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. Haley might visit me cause she'll be there too, just on a different island. And Brandon will be there too, cause he's going with some handbell choir or something. So....it's all well and good. I wanted to go down to Portland for a visit, but I'm working on Sat. again. Darn Greg! I told him no Friday night or Saturdays!

(She Speaks) [28 Feb 2005|11:10am] Wow!! Robbie updated. Child, you need to update more often so I know what's going on! And I'ma update in a bit, but class is over and I have to go now.

(She Speaks) [17 Feb 2005|03:27pm] I'm feeling a little bit lonely right now. I haven't got too many friends, and it's because I hold people at arm's length, I'm not very friendly. I can't change that though. I try to be open, if someone talks to me, I talk to them, I've made some acquaintences this year that way, but no one that I can call and talk to, no one to hang out with after work or school. Dave and Dave always go over to one of their houses and hang out, play video games and such after work. I don't connect with anyone though because mostly the people I see are older or younger, or interested in different things than I am. I hate feeling like this, so I only rant about it in this journal of mine that has really no one who reads it. That way I don't burden and further alienate the few people I do know and see often. I didn't go to school yesterday, I didn't want to go today... I'm so blah about the whole thing. It's like taupe. That doesn't make sense to anyone but me I'm sure. Bland. I get nothing out of it. The classes I'm taking bore me. Work. At least it's busy, I keep moving, I have no time to think, except for when I'm out doing lobby by myself, which is what I'm doing tonight. It's not like Menucha though, there isn't time to socialize really. No gathering around the island to have a cookie, no whispered gossip sessions out in the dining rooms with Jessie. It's very depressing. I invited Haley to come to Hawaii with my family. She hasn't emailed me back yet. I need to call her, but I'm off work so late it just doesn't seem to work out. I'd like to go visit her some weekend, we had this fun thing all planned out. Anyways, we'll see.

(She Speaks) [11 Feb 2005|10:23am] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | kelly clarkson - because of you ] I think I'm a Kelly Clarkson addict. I've been listening to her cd Breakaway for the past week...and only that cd! In the cd player in my car that I installed all by myself. If you couldn't tell I'm very proud of myself. Anyways, there's some good songs on there. Work yesterday wasn't too bad actually. I felt like we were all friends almost. Dave and Dave weren't too big of assholes, and Aura is always nice, Tello and Tony are always nice too. I think Tello asked me out...like to go dancing or something, but I'm not sure. Wouldn't that be weird though? They're going to help me learn Spanish too. I'm really hopeful that I can go to Mexico for the summer and learn more. That would be so awesome!! Anthony is trying to help me too. I'm learning Spanish from a four year old. Haha!! Anyway, it's all good. Work again tonight, I don't know who I'm working with, but I'm hopeful that it won't be too bad a night. My family is coming up today too. I hope I get off work in time so I can hang out with them some. Not like I really need to but it wouldn't be too bad. Well, boring class now. Peace.

(She Speaks) Hawaii and counting! [10 Feb 2005|10:25am] Yes, February is started, in a little over a month I'm going to Hawaii. That's so exciting! My friend Haley might possibly be going to the same place, I have to tell her what island. Her dad is giving her a trip to Hawaii, so she might come to the same island. That would be so awesome. And then, this summer possibly going to Mexico for two and a half to three months. During that trip I will totally take the bus to San Miguel de Allende for a visit. Possibly stay with Tavo, or with Bush, or one of my other buddies from down there so I don't have to spend more money than absolutely necessary. I'm so freaking excited!! Of course, I still have to see about work. I really don't know if Greg would be fine with me leaving for that long, during the busiest time of the year, after I just got hired, and right after we get our new A & W. Hmm. We'll see though. School's going okay right now. I don't like it or anything, and frankly all of my classes are really freaking boring, but what are you going to do? I have to stay late today and work in photoshop. I like playing around on there, but the video I have to watch for class is really boring. I find myself falling asleep. I have to do some work on a photo now to show her I've learned stuff too. I don't really know, I have some pictures on my U drive here at school, but they don't really need a lot of work. Though I guess I could like...make me look skinny, and change the lighting a little bit. I can skew the horizon too. Oh yeah, last thing. Eliud came home, so I think I need to move, but I don't really want too. I don't think I can afford to live by myself right now. So... I'm kind of stressing. In fact, last night at work, I almost started crying from the stress I'm feeling. I have no friends here so I don't have an outlet, and work was awful, I messed up so many times. I'm hoping things will be better today since I have to work again. Thankfully, much shorter time. Maybe I'll be packing and not have to do til!!

(She Speaks) la la la! [20 Jan 2005|10:56am] Oy I'm so tired! Work yesterday was awful. Seems like I try so hard but everything I do gets screwed up. Last night I was on til again, and ended up being a dollar and four cents off. I don't know how that happened, but as I didn't count the til, I wouldn't be surprised if the jerk that did counted wrong. Anyway, back to my story. Well, the guy that counted took a dollar out, and told me to take it from tips and changed the number so I was only off by four cents. But, he said if it happens again he's going to go to Greg and tell him that he saw me taking money out of my til. Which, I wouldn't have done, only he told me to in the first place! What a jerk! I would rather have left the dollar in and been hard core yelled at by Greg than let that guy push me around like that. So needless to say I've been a bit depressed since that happened. Cause, the asshole said that if it happens again, I'm probably going to get fired, and I've never been fired from anything in my life. I'm a good, trustworthy person. I won't be able to find another job, I'll be homeless, I'll have to drop out of school. Ish. Some people just...SUCK.

(She Speaks) [19 Jan 2005|01:32pm] Boys annoy me. Why? Because they ignore me. I ask you, is that nice?

(She Speaks) [17 Jan 2005|11:42pm] Mooooooooovies! I do love a good (even a bad) movie. I'm all happy because I thought I had to work today, but I got to KFC and looked on the schedule, and I didn't have to work! Now, I'm very happy that I have a job and everything, but it is exhausting. I stress about it a lot right now. It'll be better once I know what I'm doing and maybe even make friends. Sometimes this being so shy business sucks! I don't relish going to school tomorrow. I still detest it. And this Photoshop 7 thing isn't working too well. The computer labs don't have Photoshop installed as far as I can tell. It's only in the classroom computers. I don't know what I'm going to do! La la la! We're giving Panda-bear a birthday party tomorrow, and then volleyball. I don't really like Tuesday night volleyball because the people aren't as nice as Sunday night volleyball. It's still fun though, and the exercise is very nice. Anyways, I'm kind of hungry, and I'm trying to resist eating this late, but it's sure tempting. I love food, as my ample stomach will attest! Peace peace, yo.

(She Speaks) [15 Jan 2005|12:38pm] Hmm, well I was going to update my LJ account but their website is completely down for the moment. Sad day! I've been sick for a couple of weeks now, I'm finally starting to feel better, thank goodness. Things here in this house are growing more frustrating for me. Eliud still is controlling Daph, and she won't do what she needs to do to assert herself. She just allows it to happen becuase she doesn't want Eliud to be mad. So instead she is depressed and sad and angry all the time. That isn't right. There are a couple of great guys out there who are in love with her, and she chose the idiot she's with! He totally doesn't deserve her. I was reading the news about Ashlee Simpson being booed... I laughed. I could totally do better than that, I just don't have a dad who wants that kind of life for me, so I have no way to get it. Which sucks. Singing is all I've ever wanted. I'm putting my dreams on hold because I don't believe they're possible anymore, and it kills me somewhere deep inside. I have a good voice, so many people have told me I do, people who know, voice teachers, choir teachers, friends and relative, and I even met a guy who was in show biz once who told me I sound good. So why can't I have my dream? Why must life disappoint me over and over? I always find some new thing, and get my hopes up, only to have everything crumble under my feet over and over again. I can't take it.

(1 Listens | She Speaks) [06 Jan 2005|09:20pm] School, school, school. Well, so far classes aren't too bad. Software basics is so boring, Design we haven't done anything in yet, and haven't started my Independent studies/special project class yet. In Design Thor and Paul are with me, so it's more interesting than not knowing a soul. Why is it, that it's so hard for me to make friends? I was thinking about that today. At MHCC I didn't make friends until my last quarter there. And then only in one class. Here, I only made friends toward the end of the quarter, and only in one class. Eh well. Whatever, I guess it's better because then when I leave it doesn't hurt so bad because I'm not leaving anyone behind. Seen Mike a few times around school too. Too bad he's not in design too, the four of us would sure have fun. Well, I guess that's all for now.

(She Speaks) [01 Jan 2005|12:49am] 2005. Really I don't think I'm looking forward to it too much. So far each passing year hasn't given me anything to look forward too. I'm so pessimistic when I need sleep. And booze. Whatever.

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