2:44AM - i can't take this anymore cos i know someday i'll see you walk out that door
I should be asleep right now.
I'm going sailing early tomorrow morning..
But it's sad really..
I can't sleep..
I just look at pictures & think
& right now all i can think of, after looking through pictures of everything from last xmas break (frosh year) to pics of Dani is this:
I wish I were still a little baby, that way I didn't yet know the hurt and pain that can be felt within one's heart and caused by the lack of certain people in your life.
I wish I were still that innocent and naive to the world to the point where I had yet to honestly love someone and have them leave me or disappear.
I wish I were too young to verbally (or sometimes even physically) express how I feel for someone when my feelings are that strong.
...I'm stuck in such a bullshit rut and I shouldn't be in this position.
And all I can find myself wishing is that I was still less than 2 years old and I didn't know any of the feelings that I am feeling right now.
God, I would give anything to feel like the world is perfect again.
But I'm nearly 20.
For more than 16 years, I've known it's not.
nostalgic