4:41PM
something's missing in my life right now
but i can't quite put my finger on it.
it's not friends.
it's not boys.
it's not socialization..
just something is missing.
i miss a lot of things about last year.
i don't really know why.
i miss a lot of things about home.
it's obvious as to why.
i miss a lot of things in general.
but nothing really that has to do with the present.
nothing really that has to do with here.
here is okay - despite all the drama and petty high school bullshit that's going on, here is alright.
i've realized i don't belong with certain people and i'm completely fine with that.
so that's definitely not what's missing. because i'm happy with who i'm with now.
i'm happy just being myself and being who i am.
not being overshadowed by people who don't deserve to overshadow me.
so what the fuck is missing?
i kind of have an idea.
but then again.. it's a feeling moreso than a physical thing or something tangible...
so what the fuck is it?
it'd be *great* if that chunk inside of me that feels empty and hollow would just kind of fill up.. cos i'm sick of being confused over how i feel right now.
it's def. not cool.
i need to nap..
maybe i'm just overtired.
i doubt it.. but i like to be a wishful thinker at times.
Current mood: 
confused
8:28PM - this is me waiting for riti to get out of work so we can go to the gym.. lol
1.How old will you be in 10 months?
20.. unfortunately.. ugh.. ew.. 20 is so ugly.. I either want to be in my teens or skip straight to 21. that'd be fuckin sweet.. DAMNIT i don't want to be 20!! it's icky!! :-(
2. Do you think you'll be married by then?
ha no.
3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months ?
St. Patty's Day, DOLPHY DAY!!, & going home for Easter and then for Summer
4. Who was the last person you called?
my Doctor, last night cos my ADD meds SUCK right now...
5. Who was the last person to call you?
Riti!!
6. Do you prefer to call or text?
it completely depends on my mood and what i'm doing/where i am.
7. Do you have any pets?
3 cats and 1 dog :-)
8. What were you doing at 12am last night?
watching Garden State w.my gf Caitlin ;-) lol
9. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
divorced. dad is remarried. mom is single.
10. When is the last time you saw your mom?
like 2 weeks ago when i was on break.
12. How many states have you lived in?
2 - CT & NY
13. How many cities/towns have you lived in?
uhmm... in CT: Norwalk, Bridgeport, Fairfield & Trumbull, and in NY: Syracuse... sooo.. that's... 5.
14. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
shoes
15. Are you a social person?
ha.. YEA. very much so.
16. What was the last thing you ate?
cafe food - bleh.
17. What is your favorite ice cream?
swirl soft serve on a cone with rainbow sprinkles from Carvel.
18. What is your favorite dessert?
uhmm..... yea no clue.
20. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich
grape
21. Do you like coffee?
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
22. How many glasses of water a day do you drink on average?
no clue. but water is pretty much all i drink.
23. What do you drink in the morning?
agua
24. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
it depends. right now i could totally go for some serious cuddle time though.
but alone is good too - so i can actually get sleep instead trying to situate myself around another person.
25. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?
wherever i end up.
26. Do you know how to play poker?
not one bit.
27. Do you like to cuddle?
very much so.
28. Have you ever been to Canada?
yepp. Sr. & Jr. yr of H.S.
29. Do you eat out or at home more often?
uhmmm neither. i eat at the school cafe more often cos i'm at school more often than at home. but i prefer home cooked meals.
30. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Alanna, Larnell, Katie, & Majid
Alanna & Larnell are the same year. Majid = older and Katie = younger.
32. Do you speak any other languages?
i can sort of understand some spanish.. and i know a little of it.. but i can't say i speak it well.. just the opposite actually.. i understand it better than i speak it.
33. Have you ever gotten stitches?
should have on the back of my knee when i got bit by my stepmom's dog..
now i just have a lovely freakin scar.
34. Have you ever been in an ambulance?
nope. it was a close one this fall though.
35. Do you prefer an ocean or a pool?
uhmmm.. pool - you don't get all salty.
but i do love the beach too.
36. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats?
window. i love looking at the clouds and how tiny & little things are on the ground :-)
37. Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
my car is stick. so is my mom's that i'm driving right now.
38. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
clothes. i guess booze too.. but then again.. that should just be free.. come on.. it's a college necessity.
39. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7?
my class ring and my claddagh that my mom gave me. & usually my Nomination bracelet but one of the charms got fucked up..
40. What is your favorite TV show?
ONE TREE HILL!! & The Black Donnelly's. ♥
41. Can you roll your tongue?
yep
42. Who is the funniest person you know?
uhmm............. idk. whoever i'm with that makes me laugh. how's that sound?
43. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
uh huh. here@school I have my pink bear that goes everywhere with me (travelwise), my big beanie baby duck, and then i have a little iFlop i keep on my bed that plugs into my iPod so i can listen to music when i fall asleep.
at home i sleep w.my Cabbage Patch doll that I've had since I was a baby.
44. What is the main ring tone on your phone?
"Give It To Me" by Timbaland ft. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake
((i made it myself :-D it makes me happy))
45. Do you still have clothes from when you were little?
uh huh. i actually have tshirts that still fit me as odd as that sounds.. like my Ballet Academy tshirt.. and my Middlebrook c/o 1998 shirt.. lol
46. What is the color of your bedroom walls?
baby blue!! at home..
white here at school..
47. Do you shut off the water when you brush your teeth?
:-x no... i'm a bad person i know :-/
48. Do you sleep with your closet doors opened or closed?
omgh closed. totally closed. it creeps me out if they're open. ew... creeepyyyy!!!
49. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of killer bees?
uhmm.. neither. kthx.
50. Do you flirt a lot?
i don't really mean to, but i do. so you know.. don't take it too seriously.. just in case.
i think there's a difference between how i flirt w.ppl i like and how i am w.ppl i'm not interested in though.. but who knows.. that's just me. i don't watch me.
51. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
honey mustard
52. Can you change the oil on a car?
no.
53. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
not speeding.. no. but i have gotten pulled over for speeding twice.
54. Do you dance in the car while driving?
sometimes - depends who i'm with, lol