*LoU*'s Day

4:12AM

i am so beyond stressed right now.
i have so much hw to do.
i have a million tests this week.
and what did i do with my weekend?
drank everything away.

i think that was a really stupid idea.
but i can't say it was a bad weekend at all.

cos it def. wasn't.
and hopefully it wasn't a waste either.

but now i'm dealing with this b.s. schedule:

mon: stats test, a million things due for spanish, cat time, tb test, pick ppl up from cat, study my ass off for....

tues: psych exam, edu midterm, and w/e else would like to throw itself at me.

wed: hopefully calm. tb test checkup thing and cat time.

thurs: scenario response due for psych and a philosophy midterm.....

friday: hopefully relatively calm... hopefully relatively less sober than the rest of the week.


yeaa...

this sucks.
college is way more stress than it's worth.
and i feel like i'm failing at everything.

and the fact that things are not on good terms with you is bothering me to the point that its distracting me from so much shit.
this is ridiculous.
i wish we could just resolve all this bullshit, i wish you would take the time out of your so-called "busy" life and deal with the issues at hand here. because they are issues. and they do need to be dealt with.

it's all i think about sometimes.
other times you don't cross my mind at all.
it's a daily thing.
some days are amazing, other days suck.
my timing has been horrible.
and i hate the fact that i tried calling you last night.
and what i hate more is the fact that you called back TWICE w/in 10 min intervals...
were you expecting something? or did you really want to know what i wanted?

i wish i could figure you out.

and then you IM me today (or well.. technically yesterday.. Sunday is what i'm getting at..) and ask why i called?
"oooo :-/ yea.. idk why to be honest" was my response..
i wanted it to be bitchier than that.. but it wasn't. i wanted it to be though.
if you want to know why i called last night, i'm sure it was probably to tell you that you are never to disrespect me or treat me as horribly as you did the other day and still expect me to talk to you a few hours later.
it just doesn't work like that buddy.


i need sleep.
i need to study.
i need to do hw.
i need to stop thinking.
i need to stop thinking about you.
i need to stop thinking about all of this.....


i'm done.