so yea, i guess i'll always be nothing more than second best.
:-\
i hate this so much.
it happened last year.
it's happening this year.
i hate it so much.
and i'm so done.
why can't this all just go away?
sometimes i wish you'd go away.
but then i feel horrible cos i'd lose everything if that happened.
no matter who, no matter what.
i'm always second best to someone.
it just hurts the most when it's second best to someone you care that much about.
it also hurts equally as much when you're the person's second choice who is your first.
this entry is so obvious.
and i hate it.
i'm sorry.
but i can't take this anymore.
..i feel so worthless.. :-\
x/33
sadi hate that things are weird between us.
i hate that things are over between us.
i miss you.
i miss our friendship.
i miss whatever it was that we had.
so badly.
just saying that makes me want to cry so hard.
this hurts so much and you couldn't care any less.
i want to talk to you.
i told you that.
you pushed me aside and now it's old news.
[and] old news turns into history.
books are written about history.
if we're going to be [in] a book i want us to be known as a [great] war.
a war where i fought to keep things on good terms and you fought to shy away.
[almost like pushing the borders of states further apart]
i want the story to say that i won.
but history was never my subject.
nothing was ever in the girl's favor.
if it was, it'd be called herstory.
and that's just not how it goes.
i've lost you.
it hurts.
i miss you.
it sucks.
( irony at it's best )
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