you don't get it.
when you said "oh i get it, i'm not the right person"
i second-guessed myself.
i never did that for ANYONE.
ever.
i just knew.
but for you? i had a second thought.
and i went with that to think that maybe that meant you were the right person.
i thought you were.
i let you be.
and you took off with what i gave to you.
something i held so close, considered so prescious, something i prided myself on.
you have it and i can never ever get it back no matter how hard i wish and regret, i can never ever get it back. ever.
you don't understand that i chose you.
i chose YOU.
does that mean nothing at all to you?
what made everything change so drastically?
so quickly?
so abrubtly and rapidly?
it was hurtful the way it all just collapsed.
i didnt even see it happen and then all of a sudden, everything i had waited for and hoped for and got my hopes up for crashed the second i turned around.
i let my guard down for you.
i trusted you.
i let you in.
i cared about you.
i let you have all of me.
it took so much of me.
you ran with it.
and now i'm lost and my head is swirling in a neverending pool of shame, doubt, wonder, tears, depression, hurt, heartbreak, questions, and yet in all of that i find no answer.
because you never gave me any.
in fact, i wonder, other than this mental calamity, if you ever gave me anything at all.
false hope maybe?
but i'm not sure that really counts.
you never gave me the time of day.
you never gave me your thoughts.
i wasn't worth a thing to you.
just two last nights and a broken heart.
lines on top of lines you fed to me, and for what? worthless hopes and dreams of you and me, and you being something i wanted? i knew we would never be together. i knew we'd never have a relationship. but i never thought it would just end, at least not so abruptly. not like this. not when it did.
why can't you just find within you the decency to talk to me? to come to me?
i'm saying something to you today.
i'm saying it flat out, straight up, and honest.
and you're going to listen. you're going to see it. i'm done being ignored.
and if you ignore this, expect me on your doorstep.
or dorm-room-front.
don't think you can ignore this any longer.
you have a piece of me.
you can't get rid of that like you got rid of me.
it's impossible now.
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