*LoU*'s Day

5:24PM - i didn't mean for this to be so long.. and i'm guessing you didnt mean for us to be so drawn out..

I could never regret you.
But I don't know if I can ever not regret what I gave to you.


It always means more to me than it does to anyone else.


How do I get over you?

girl it's just a matter of time
before he finds another more fine
after he's done dulling your shine
you're out the door and he's through with you


I hope she plays you.
I hope she burns you.
I hope you feel what I'm feeling right now.
Neglect, ignorance, heartbreak.
Regret for nothing more than what I did.
Wishing I didn't have this longing for something so far lost and so irreversible that it hurts to think about the way it was lost.
A drunken affair. An inebriated decision.
A life altering moment in which no one seems to understand it's importance.
Except for one.

I never wanted it to end like this.
I never wanted it to end. But that was a fairy tale thought.
Impossible in all the wrong and right ways.
You gave me false hope.

You fed me lines to get back into my room. Into my bed.
And you did it as long as you needed to, until you could find another girl.
Someone new. Younger maybe? More vulnerable? A bigger challenge than me since I already gave in?
I hope she shoots you down and hurts your ego more than you'll ever bare to let anyone know.


I want to be friends.
But you make it so hard sometimes.


I miss the feeling of waking up with you next to me.
I miss the feeling of seeing you walk through my door.
I miss the way I felt when you looked at me those nights you were here.
I miss joking around with you, laughing with you, being dorks together.
But most of all...

i miss your kiss...

5:33PM - read the entry below this one before you read me.. these are my afterthoughts. while you are my first.

Oh and P.S.

I just thought you should know..
Kissing someone else feels wrong.
Especially when I'm thinking of you.
And I hate hearing your voice outside my door...
especially when there's a boy who isn't you laying beside me and you're all I can bare to think about.

You don't understand how hard this is.
You never will.
Nor will you ever care to.

Kissing another boy, having another boy lay beside me, in my bed, at early hours of the morning just isn't the same when it's not you.
It doesn't feel right.
It doesn't feel good.
You may not have been spectacular..
But you meant the world to me.

You still do.

And it's not fair that when my lips are against someone else's yours are in my head.


:-/ Please just come back and make things right. Please?