2:21AM - it was you i was thinking of . . . *
so last night i had a weird dream about him. about he and i being really close. so close that i was leaning on his shoulder/back talking to him and someone else about a problem. but he had a gf in my dream, so of course it was completely platonic.
and then today he called and i talked to him for about 2 - 2.5 hours i'd say (from 8:50-something til 11 something or other.)
even the roomie pointed out that i sounded happy to be talking to him.
this just fucks me up even more because i dont want to miss him.
i don't want to think about him like that. at all. ever again. he has a gf and that's that.
i blew my chance. it didnt work out. but i can't help wondering if there's any link between the dream and the call.
i mean.. how weird is that? i dream about it and he calls.
and for the past few nights i've been dreaming about people i was going to see in a few days when i got back to school. im back here, i've seen them, idk if i'm going to dream a/b them again tonight, but still.. nevertheless.. it just makes me wonder.. did i know subconsciously he was going to call? was it a sign? an omen? or a subconscious desire? i don't know. i really just don't.
in all honesty it'd be really nice to have him as a really good friend.. i don't want to lose him at all. he made me feel so good today after i told him about certain things and he was genuinely concerned for me and made me promise not to let those certain things happen again. and when he sat there on the phone with me until i said 6 things about myself (3 personality and 3 physical) that i like.. he put up with my laughing at it cos i was uncomfortable and didn't know what to say.. he waited it out..
he was there for me.
that's all i ever really wanted.
and yea it makes me miss him and whatever it was that was there between us.. but i guess when i think it all over, i'd rather have a friend than a bf or an ex.
and as long as we stay friends.. i think it'll be alright.
that honestly made my night. ♥
confused