looking back at certain things tonight.. conversations with a certain someone.. the first one after a certain night to be exact.. i realize i overlooked SO MANY things i should have been looking for.
and now i've fallen. hopelessly. and i feel *so stupid* because things could have been so much different than they are now. for good or bad, i'm not sure. but i know that they would have been.
and now i'm sitting here wishing i could go back in time, but that would change my whole entire summer. completely. and i would never want to do that. this past summer was the best summer of my life.
but now i'm just missing him more than anything and hoping this summer brings something good. something really good.
however.. to be perfectly honest.. i'm beginning to become scared that too many things have changed. i mean.. he's moved on and i'm still here.. well.. not in the same place physically (even though i am right now cos im on break, but i've moved on physically.. to syracuse) but emotionally i'm still stuck. and nothing in the world has been able to help that. i just wish i could have done some things differently over the last break...
i don't even know anymore.. we hit it off so well and now i'm afraid i've caused it all to be lost.
God I hope not...
:-/ i need to go play piano for a little while...
i hope kendra doesnt mind....
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