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| 04:02am 17/09/2003 |
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mood:  excited music: i'm gonna getcha...
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sometimes the most unexpected people are the ones that surprise you and are the ones that help you out. sometimes things just seem to work themself out. sometimes the things you hear about people, are the farthest from the truth. dont believe somebody just cause of what goes on with yall. dont believe everything you hear. sometimes the people you care the most about are the people that end up fuckin you over in the end. you can't always trust the people that you want to
miss emily, you made me very happy by what you told me. i'm so glad you like the pink bunny! :) even though you didn't know me, you stuck up for me. that means a lot to me. thank you. |
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| so far, so good |
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| 11:42am 17/09/2003 |
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mood:  pleased music: i don't wanna miss a thing...
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so another good day so far today. eric showed up at 9 am today and he just left so that's like 3 hours with him. i love him so much. anytime i see him, i have a good day. the only bad thing is my stomach hurts...maybe i'm just hungry?? i dunno...that might be it. hope i'm not gettin sick...that'd suck. ashly is supposed to come over and get me to take me to chilis for the interview...i haven't heard from her yet so i dunno. oh yeah, i'm just in such a wonderful mood now! :) |
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| 04:53pm 17/09/2003 |
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mood:  sleepy music: drew carey show (its on tv)
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man i'm so tired. i went to bed at 5 am and woke up at 8...it was worth it though to see eric. but yea, he left at like almost 12 and then i went back to sleep and just woke up...it's almost 5. ashly went up to chilis today (without me) and they said they aren't gonna be hiring for another week or so...which is crazy cause yesterday they told us that they were. but yea, she didn't even call me this mornin for me to go up there with her. that really bothers me. but oh well, nothin i can do about it. i'm kinda sad...eric starts workin tomorrow so now i'm not gonna get to see him as much. :( damn people for needing money! lol today was fun though. i really love him a lot...too bad feelings arent mutual. too bad he has a girlfriend. oh well, i'm goin back to sleep now...thinkin hurts my head right now....*YAWN* |
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| i've really fucked up this time |
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| 08:33pm 17/09/2003 |
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mood:  nostalgic music: i love you...you love me...
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the bad thing about me is that i just can't let go of stuff. i hold onto it and dwell on it forever. this whole entry is basically just for brent. i'm really sorry my dear. i didn't mean to upset you or bother you. neither of us have been goin through good times lately and so it sucks we fight to make it even worse. i wish things were different with us. and honestly, i kinda wish some things wouldn't have happened. (no regrets though) i just kinda think those things are what made us fight to begin with. i'm sorry for everything i've done to you. i'm sorry for everything i didn't do but you think i did. i'm sorry that it is hard to trust you right now...i just am having a difficult time trusting anybody. i do miss you brent. i miss you a lot. and i don't know...it kinda seems as though you were trying to protect me from getting myself fucked over...i love you for that, but i just cant be protected...i have to learn all on my own. if you ever talk to me again i'm gonna do my best to try to trust you again...i'm gonna do my best not to annoy you...i'm gonna do my best to not be mean to you. i know you aren't doing very well at the moment...i know i'm not helping any. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for everything. i do love ya my dear. i want more than anything for us to be ok. and i don't hate you...i could never hate you. no matter what i could never hate you. and yes brent, you were right...it cant fill the hole. i've learned it only makes the hole bigger. i love you. |
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