03:08pm 16/09/2003
mood: loved
music: say you'll love-love me forever
haha today was great! i hung out with eric all day. i had a lot of fun with him! i'm in such a great mood now! ok the end.

(2 crushed it into pieces | ♥ here's my heart...take it...)

yeah! good day! :)   
10:32pm 16/09/2003
mood: cheerful
music: will & grace (its on tv right now)
so today actually was not a bad day. not only did i get to hang out with eric, me and ashly got to hang out to. so i was actually busy the whole day...which is somethin rather new for me. cause like 10 min after eric left ashly called me and was like hey wanna go eat? so we went to chick-fil-a...i saw a girl i used to go to church with (MAJOR bitch) and then we went lookin for jobs. we went to chilis and so me and her might get jobs there as a hostess. they told us to come back tomorrow for an interview so i might have a job! excitin stuff! :) i have this very strange feeling that i'm not goin to get into college next year. i realize it is a year away and all, but i mean, things just aren't lookin good for that. i'm gonna cry my eyes out if i dont go to college next year! i don't wanna bum around the house...grrr. but anyways, that's bummin me out quite a bit so i'm not gonna talk about it! :) i love my cousin! he's the best! he brings humor to my day. me and him have a more of a weird friend thing than a family member thing. like he is the only person in my family i can stand! the only sad thing about today is that for some reason brent's impression of me has lowered greatly. he actually used the phrase: i thought that you were better than what everyone said, but i guess i was wrong. what the hell is that??? how are you gonna just go and say that shit to me and i asked what people were sayin and he didn't say a thing to me. it angers me and upsets me at the same time. i think somewhere deep, deep DEEP in him he cares about me a lil bit...like hes doin the whole tryin to be protective thing. but now it is just coming off as him hating me and being disappointed in me. i don't understand why he thinks it is ok to judge the shit i do...he's the one that said we weren't friends...so where does he come off tellin me what i should do? he ended our friendship...said mean shit to me too...why does he think that he still can tell me what i can do? (even better a question, why do i still let him?) i wish i could make things better but with everything goin on...i don't think that is possible for us anymore. i wish it were, but it isn't. :( i miss him. and i care greatly for him...i just don't know....:/

(♥ here's my heart...take it...)