| my day today was like... |
[05 Sep 2003|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Nobody's Listening - Linkin Park |
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I'm so tired. *sighsighsigh*
Last night I reformated my hard drive and reinstalled windows and everything. I still have to hook up the internet though. I have to call for that though. My dad is refusing to. :/ I don't feel like talking to technical support guys. (I'm on my brother's computer right now)
Lunch with Kat was good. We went to Edo Japan in the food court at the mall. Mmm Japanese food~ We sat and talked there for about three and half hours. I like conversing with her. I had a lot of fun.
Drama class was rather amusing today... We played the "Expert Game". The topic a kid named James was supposed to be the expert on was lollypops. *snicker* Somehow he started talking about the sizes of lollypops...
Question that someone asked: What size do you prefer?
James: I personally like the big ones... I have a big mouth so I can fit a lot in. *grins*
Another question: Do you like them big?
Yes, all of that was meant to be perverted. It's just not me that's relishing in the perverted-ness. My drama teacher stopped the line there though.
Off to Wal-Mart now. Hell yes, I love Wal-Mart.
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| Update on my life! |
[04 Sep 2003|07:29pm] |
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 content |
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music |
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I Have Everything About You - Three Days Grace |
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Wow, I'm so tired! School is exhausting. I'm not used to it at all. It's a schedule and routine and I've been out of one for a year.
I have to wake up every day at 6:30 in the morning. School starts at 8am, but by the time I'm out of bed, dressed, ready and out of the door it's around 7:20am. I want to give myself a lot of time to get to school. I detest being late and it's one of my goals (ha ha, yay) not to be late if I can help it. Last night I had the brilliant idea of going to a late movie. Jaden and I saw Terminator 3: Rise of The Machines. It was his second and my third time. God, I love that movie. We didn't end up geting home until midnight. I wasn't in bed until 1am. When I woke up this morning I felt extremely ill which greatly upset me because I didn't want to miss school. Thankfully after Jaden's advice on getting something to eat and after taking Pepto Bismol all was well with my stomach.
My schedule this semester:
English 20-1
Drama 10
Math 10 Applied
SAIL
SAIL is a program thingy for students where they can work on homework, get help and things like that. It stands for Supporting Achievement Improving Learning. Most of the kids there are druggies who don't do their homework and really don't give a shit about their education. I am not one of them though. I must stress that. I'm pretty much the only one who actually wants to work there. It's quite annoying because they are so LOUD. My high school this year also became a 9-12 school this year so there's immature grade 9's in the class too (although they aren't technically in SAIL, they're in Academic 9 or something). The reason I'm in SAIL is because no other options would fit in. And the counsellor thought SAIL would be good for me since it's not stressful.
Moving on! I'm going to be involved with the Fall theatre production this year. It's "Hansel and Gretel." Hee hee, it looks really fun, I'm psyched about it.
I have ONE friend I know in LCI (my high school) and she's in grade 12. I met Kat in my gay youth support group thingy. I ran into her before school so she invited me to hang out with her crowd at lunch. So I did. Matt was there too. Matt is extremely a stereotypically flaming gay male. I love him though, he's such a sweetheart and so much fun to talk too. He graduated last year but is helping out in the band or something like that so he just hangs out or something to that effect. Kat invited me out to lunch tomorrow so that should be fun. On Friday's I get out at 12:30.
I reformatted my hard drive and reloaded Windows on my computer tonight. Thus everything on my C: drive was lost. That went fine. But now we need some product number thing and of course just to spite me, the book that has it is lost somewhere. How frustrating. I'm currently on my brother's computer.
Hmm, do I have anything else to say? Things with my mother are going really good which is such a nice change. Things have really started to calm down in my life.
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[02 Sep 2003|12:52pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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She Cries -- East West |
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Now I really am going to use this journal. *nods* I deleted my blog last night, so this is really all I have. Want to see the 'gone' page? Click here.
I had orientation at my high school today. It was sort of exciting. You see, I'm going back to public school this year. I was doing this flexible-unless-you-are-motivated-you-shall-die outreach program before. Was I motivated? Not exactly. I'm behind now. I should be in grade 11. I finished one grade 11 class and one grade 10 class last year. So, this year I'm finishing up grade 10 and I'm also taking another grade 11 class. The sad thing is, it's really my own fault about being behind. I was too depressed at the time to care about school and stuff. Everyone was warning me, telling me how important it was to get back into a more normal life and all I did was nod. It didn't hit me until this summer, coming back from Ohio that I actually WAS behind and I didn't really have any life. When I was younger, I used to be proud of having my parents together and being smart in school. Now, look at me... My parent's are divorced and I'm behind a year. That being said and acknowledged... I itend to get my life on the right track. Education was imporant to me and IS important to me now.
When I got back from Ohio, I got a kitten! ^_^ His name is Knives... Yes, KNIVES. I named him after my fave. character from Trigun. My kitten is a psychotic vicious bastard at times. Seriously. o_O;
Dammit! I missed Sailor Moon! *lament* Yes, I watch Sailor Moon. Wooo~ *dorks out*
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| I still live. . . |
[30 Jul 2003|01:37am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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I thought I was going to stop using this journal. . . but I stopped by again and I miss it! ;_; So I think I'm going to try and use it again okay?
Well, right now I'm Ohio visiting my girlfriend. ^_^ I've been here for over a week now and it's been really great! I have a lot to write about, but a lot of it is personal, so I shall not share!
Umm, when I get back from Ohio, I'll make new icons and stuff I think.
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| Is 'beauty' even an emotion? |
[22 May 2003|01:27pm] |
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 blank |
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music |
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How Can I Not Love You - Joy Enriquez |
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You are Beauty.
You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the
outside, or both. People are drawn to you as
strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the
world around you.
What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
---
My download is at 85% REJOICE!
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[22 May 2003|12:13am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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Yuuwaku - Glay |
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Stupid Ragnaork Online. *fume* For some odd reason, it decided not to work for me anymore. So my first instinct was to keep on trying through the night. Hours later it still didn't work. It says its missing a file, but it's not. I saw the file right there, lol. I then attempted to use the 'repair' option and re-install it. I thought, "HOY! This will work! :D" Um, it didn't. Then I uninstalled it. And now I'm reinstalling the stupid large zip file that... well on this download box should take 17 more hours. Splendid. If it doesn't work, Casey can always send again I guess. ¬¬; *checks download* I think it may be frozen. It's been at 1% for a long time. . . .
On a happy note, I talked to Casey today. ^^ I'm so easy to tease and get upset. All you have to do is start talking about spiders, snakes, insects and I get all grossed out. XD And of course Casey knows that. So, whenever we couldn't think of something, somehow the topic immediately changed over to spiders/snakes etc. Uck. Eck. Ick. Gross. Save. Me. From. Disgusting. Creepy. Scary. Spiders/Insects/Snakes.
2% now.
Exciting.
"Because I love you!" - Yuuwaku by Glay. This song is slowly getting pounded in my head, I bet soon it will be on repeat. Very soon....
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[19 May 2003|12:14am] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
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music |
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Bein' Bad - Boomkat |
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Today was unproductive which upsets me. I suppose, not all days can be productive and filled with good conversation among friends (online and real life). But I'm really annoyed with myself because now. Today for example, I was talking to a few friends/my girlfriend but I was busy and not really paying much attention or trying my best to keep converstaions going. And now when I'm back on the computer and no one is online, I regret being so busy and wasting my time with them. The honest truth is, time is precious and my friends are precious. I don't like the thought of wasting my time with them. I'm such a dork, I'm pretty sure none of them think this way or care if we have unproductive days. I just try too hard sometimes? Relationships are really important to me. And I don't want them falling apart etc. *sigh*
---
I went to bed around 5 or so this morning. Slept until 12. Did my computer thing for some hours. Got off, got ready. Had supper. Kara's family came over and my dad took us (Kara, her brother and sister, Jaden and I) to Shangai Knights. OWEN WILSON rocks. ^^
I found a new band that I like: Boomkat. I have no idea about them though. o_O; I went download crazy and downloaded their whole album. I'm now just finding out some of the files aren't the whole songs. KILL. @_@; That pisses me off to no degree.
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| Before I go to bed... |
[18 May 2003|04:50am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Its Over - Tuuli |
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200 OK - The request has succeeded.
You are easy going and unassuming, sometimes too
much so. You don't cause waves and are easy to
get along with.. probably because you prefer to
make everyone else happy before yourself. But
it doesn't matter, because people have a hard
time not liking you.
What's your HTTP Status Code?
brought to you by Quizilla
I hope people like me! Bed time now. o_O;
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| My name... |
[17 May 2003|02:04pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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Scape ~With Transparent Wings~ - Malice Mizer |
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Mauri : MAU-ree : English : black [Info taken from kaeori.net]
Oh my god. *points at how your 'supposed' to say my name* Only a few people have ever said my name the 'correct' way. The rest pronounce it: MORR-ee. . . .
Hmm.
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[17 May 2003|05:13am] |
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mood |
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miserable~ |
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music |
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Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage |
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"I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession?
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)"
Hah, I'm pathetic. I was browsing through Deviantart and I saw a picture totally just 'triggered' emotions and memories. I am a retard. I am a retard. I am a retard. *chants*
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| Am I playing insomniac again...? |
[17 May 2003|03:17am] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
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music |
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Twilight - Boa |
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Two new icons here~
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[16 May 2003|11:54pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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music |
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It's Over - Tuuli |
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I can finally use this icon! lol. Well I could before but the thing is, there was a typo. I had "your" instead of "you're." I'm a retard. But I loved the concept for this icon of Hong from Silver Ash and I just HAD to remake it. *nods* Yes, I had to start from the beginning. Which was a bitch, but it was worth it.
---
I have a new friend! :D  abusememore I love when people randomly comment and say I'm interesting and they want to add me.
WORSHIP ME GOD DAMMIT FOR I AM INTERESTING AND POWERFUL!
Blurty Friends: I'm deleting this girl now.
---
Dr. Edwards = The Caribbean Natzi.
Let's all be on Mauri's side and kill him.
MURDER.
Fuck...
KILL HIM FOR ME!
>.o;;;
Or just give me insults to call him. Casey said she would have insulted him. *giggles* I wish I would have. But no, I was all hurt and emotional. ¬__¬;
---
IT'S TUULI! They were popular once. I think. I was going through my old journal entries. I'm talking about 2-3 years old and looking at what music I listened to. I had this song once. So I re-downloaded it.
*jumos to tuuli*
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Monday is a holi-day for me. I think it's Victoria Day. -^.^- Oh fuuuuuuck. Jaden will be here I think. *mumbles* Stupid brother will kick my off the computer so he can play his retarded online checkers...
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| Fjdskfjasdlfjakdsfas!!! |
[15 May 2003|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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music |
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Prostie Dvizenijia - t.A.T.u |
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THEY SO ARE HAVING SEX IN THIS SONG!
I HEAR THE BREAHTING!
ITS HOT & SEXY!
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Well it can't be the tatu girls since they are singing.
Anyway, I'm a dork. I've always thought that they were having sex in this song.
Just because.
I'm a dork and I want too.
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| Let me kill him... |
[15 May 2003|02:23pm] |
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mood |
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headache pain~ |
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music |
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Anti Nostalgic - Gravitation |
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O___o;; I'm a fucking emotional basketcase! YAY! I cried three times today. x___x; So I saw my new shrink today. Dr. Edwards. He's some guy from the carribean. I'm not racist or anything. But he was a PSYCHO! XD Seriousy, he was.... He like laughed at me and my problems.
Me: ... ... *thinking: let me kill you now*
Then he asked, "what do you want to do with your life?"
I replied with wanting to be psychologist or some sort of therapist. AND HE FUCKING GAVE ME A 5 MINUTE RANT ON WHY I SHOULDN'T BE ONE.
Okay, why the hell are we talking about that for? That's not the issue at hand here. I don't care right now about 2-3 years in the future. I care about getting some retarded sleeping pills so I can sleep.
Dr. Edwards: How can I help you?
Me: You can't. Honestly, I don't like how this is going.
So then he nods and tells me he's going to get my dad to talk to him. I feel all mopey and run out of the room and do the 'washroom-stall-cry-athon.' I do that for 10 minutes then come back to the waiting room.
About 30-40 minutes later my dad and I exit to the car. . . . I CRY AGAIN. XD; Then I calm down and we talk about why the session didn't go good.... ..... I CRY YET AGAIN. Making that a grand total of 3 sob fests today.
Woo hoo! I'm most likely not going to see him again. LET ME KILL HIM! o___O;;;; *insane eyes* No... I don't need anti-psychotics. >:3
Blah blah blah.
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[14 May 2003|05:35pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Stolen Sidewalk - Bif Naked |
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"Inhale me...
Inhale all my life."
How nice.
---
I finished reading, "Animal Farm" for English. I also finished reading, "The Gunslinger." I'm glad the library finally had the first book in the dark tower series in. I've been waiting for a while. It was good. Jake is my favorite character. I know what happens though... because I read some of the 4th book first, lol. BLAIN THE TRAIN! Was his name Blain? Or maybe it was Blaine? Whatever.
I feel better then yesterday, not so emotional. I see my new psychiatrst tomorrow. I'm sort of nervous. I get sleeping pills though. So yay!
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[13 May 2003|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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upset~ |
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music |
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Stranded - Plumb |
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What the fuck is wrong with me right now? I feel like any moment I'm going to burst out crying. I don't know what's wrong. I'm just feeling all emotional right now. I don't feel like getting into it. *sigh*
Whatever. I'm fine.
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[12 May 2003|01:09am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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Malchik Gay - t.A.T.u |
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I survived the weekend. No, I don't feel like going into details. Here's some quizes though. ^_^
( Click Here If You Are Smart )
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[11 May 2003|02:36am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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My Immortal - Evanescence |
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New layout at my personal site, that has nothing on it, lol.
Girl's Addiction
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| 2 days in a row... |
[08 May 2003|11:40pm] |
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mood |
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headache pain~ |
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music |
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Adam's Song - Blink 182 |
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I had a cry fit yesterday. And I thought it was pretty emotionally charged. Hah, yeah right. Today I had a very intense sob fit for like over an hour. That's two days in a row people. :/ I so cannot wait until this week is over. I've been dreading this weekend for a while now. ;-;
I feel sorry for my brother Jaden, it's not his fault his stupid graduation lands on this weekend. What I'm not looking forward to:
~ Having to go shopping for something nice to wear for grad. Normally I don't mind shopping, but it's just a reminder that I have to get all dressed up and look all normal for everyone.
~ GRANDPARENS! For fuck sakes, my grandparent's are messed up. They don't even love each other. They barely speak to each other even. o_O; My mother is a religious zealot clone of my grandma. GO TO HELL! >,o;;;
~ My Mom. Oh she is evil. Being around her is a constent reminder that I wasn't good enough for her. Most of my insecurities come from the fact that my very own mother doens't love me. Really. First I thought it was conditional love, but when I did meet her conditions. She still didn't love me. -_-; Murder.
~ Mother's Day. Oh this holiday is evil. Why? Because last Mother's Day I tried to kill myself. Seriously tried to kill myself. No phone calls to 911, no chickening out. I wrote the goodbye letter and everything. *sigh*
Blah blah blah blah. Someone knock me out so I don't have to face this stupid weekend.
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| New icons! |
[08 May 2003|06:25am] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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music |
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Lunar Eclipse - Silver Ash |
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I've pulled an all-nighter. Why? Because I could not sleep. ;-; But in doing so, I've managed to find another visual kei band that I like! *_* A CHINESE one at that! lol. Yay for: Silver Ash.
~ Check out my icons please!
~ Also, I have new colors/theme (?) for my journal. It had to match my new default icon, lol.
Edits: Yes I just realized, now that I'm waking up that my 'your not worth it' icon has a spelling error. x__x; Retard Mauri. It should be, "You're". --;;;;
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