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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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Jason Wade - You Belong To Me |
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Oh man; recently, I seem to be having really good days, and then, really REALLY crappy and fucked evenings. -.-
Take yesterday for example. Because I'm on work experiance, I was at this little primary school, and I was working with the reception class (kindergarteners to those from Canada or America). Anyhoo; that was good cause I didn't have to do anything apart from help them with some sticking, cutting and mak a fw tissue paper flowers for hats and such. So that was good. I was in really high spirits also because I had finished the first chapter of my new Harry Potter fic, and I'd also read about three chapters of the new book in about an hour (I read slowly for those of you who have already finished and can read about ten million chapters in a half hour! *glare*)
Anyhoo; on the way home, I was sitting on the bus and I was reading. I was on the top deck, and on the top deck were two complete pricks. About 13/14. Anyhoo, they were SPITTING out of the window onto the street below, and also on to other cars. The bus was caught in a bit of a traffic jam in the centre of town, and along the high street was the freelance green grocer, who was doing what they used to in markets and shouting to get attention.
Anyday; these two brats started shouting out the window; 'Tramp!' and such like, and after about five minutes. I was SO pissed off. I did something I usually don't. I literally exploded and let my temper flare. I turned on them, still in my seat and just said, in a really loud and pissed off voice;
'Do you mind SHUTTING UP?! Your really starting to annoy me, not to mention probably everyone else on the bus. And you can shout spitting out of the window too, its really quite vulger and I want you to sit down, shut up and put up, or I'll make the bus driver chuck you off the bus.' Then I went back to my book. I checked behind me about ten minutes later, and they were both glaring at me, so I just said; 'You can glare at me all you like, its not going to affect me.' And went back to Harry Potter.
I was really proud of myself. I managed to handle a situation where I was sublimly pissed off, and I didn't swear or get violent So; yay me!
I then got home, and was on the computer. I got really depressed while I was on it causing I was talking to each other. And I do get depressed really easily. So, my mum and sister went out to get dinner, and although I have promised countless people I wouldn't, I grabbed my mums sewing scissors cause I couldn't find my damn pen knife and started y'know... cutting myself.
I have talked about it with my mum, but she just wants to get me to see a shrink! She won't actually listen to why I do what I do. *sighs* Its so annoying. I hate it when people won't listen to me.
But yeah, they got back, just as I finished bandaging my arm, and covered it with an arm sock. I went to bed, still pretty depressed, but I culdn't sleep. So I started working on my outfit for Electirc Six, you have to understand, still depressed, working on an outfit means usng scissors etc. You can guess where that led.
*sighs* Oh boy, but today was pretty good, so I'm going to try again and stop. But its easier said than done. Anyone whos been in the same situation and done the same things I'm doing would understand that. *sighs again* I seem to fuck up everything with depression.
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angry
jubilant
devious
giddy
hungry
sleepy
artistic
contemplative
enraged
cynical
drained
crazy
