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Sunday, July 12th, 2009
6:23 am
So my flight was supposed to land at 10pm but then because of bad weather we got diverted to KL. And then, obviously, Malaysia tab boleh (or however you spell it) because we ended up waiting there for 5 hours before I finally landed at 4am. And obviously, Singapore tab boleh too because they didn't really tell my parents my flight was delayed due to bad weather and all that so they ended up waiting in the airport with everyone else the whole time and my father went to the toilet to pray. Hee.

So what was the first thing I did when I came back? Go to the prata house and have prata and teh tarik? Me? No way. ;)

Wait til Naga tells you what we ate this week. Shameful, man, shameful.

Time to go shower!

current mood: awake
current music: My laptop pretending to be a chainsaw

(3 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
7:14 pm
Sindhu here, reporting from down under! It's finally settled in that I'm actually in Melbourne! Melbourne! Australia! For the first time! I love new countries. :) And it's nice to be in the cold, even though I'm having a cold. No, it's not swine flu, I don't have a temperature - it's dustmite allergies.

Anyway, not much to say. I just had to update since, you know, I haven't in a long, long time.

(2 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
9:28 am
So I haven't updated in ages and ages and ages. I'm sorry? I've been busy with packing and cleaning and trying to see as much of my friends as possible before I have to leave London on Saturday morning (and then I'm leaving the UK next Friday). It didn't realise how much it would suck - the can'twaitcan'twait feeling of going back to your friends back home, of finally seeing them and properly catching up with their lives over food that's been such a fundamental part of my childhood it defines so many moments. But then that's juxtaposed with the horrible sinking feeling of knowing that I'm leaving people here that somehow, somehow over the last seven months I've become as close to as people I've known for half my life, people that have seen me fall and that have dragged me back up and set me back on my path, people that have supported me, celebrated my triumphs with more happiness than me, and championed the battles that I've fought. People that have, strangely, when I have nearly no one here, and when we are in each others faces all the bloody time, have become something a little like the little faux family that it took ages for me to build back home.

I want to come home. But I don't want to leave. And I know it's going to be like this no matter where I'm leaving from, no matter where I'm going.

At least I can come home in pride - I got my preliminary results and I passed! And also, I got that merit I was working for - which means that I was top 20% of my cohort. Thought you guys should know before I got pelted with stones for not telling people. Love all of you so much and miss you so much it hurts.

See you in two weeks, hopefully!

current mood: tired
current music: Massive Attack - Group Four

(break out of jail)

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
2:25 am
When I'm mad, I clean.

Even though I have to wake up in less than six hours because I have a tutorial tomorrow, and then I have to go to the gym, and then I have to study to try to finish an impossible workload before I go to sleep.

How many more days?

current mood: cranky
current music: my computer whirring like a chainsaw

(break out of jail)

Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
6:16 am
And I'm off to Brighton in 15 minutes! I had to wake up at quarter past 5 today... and even though I went to bed at around 10 last night, I still only managed to get to sleep just before 2. This is what happens when you regularly sleep late and wake up late... and suddenly want to change that up with no warning. :(

So, I brought my camera so hopefully I remember that I have it and take loads and loads of pictures! Hope you guys are doing fine and not smothered under your to-do lists? Miss all of you guys BUCKETLOADS.

current mood: busy

(1 prison bitch |break out of jail)

Sunday, March 15th, 2009
3:33 pm
Since everyone has a to-do list a mile long...

To Do
1. PDS Essay due Monday 23 March
2. Portfolio due Thursday 26 March
3. Sexpression coursework: lesson plan due Friday 27 March
4. Sexpression coursework: reflections due Friday 27 March
5. Sexpression lesson plan for this week due Wednesday 18 March
6. Book OH appointment due Monday 16 March
7. National Insurance form due Tuesday 17 March
8. Send off chlamydia test (to win a Wii!) due Tuesday 17 March
9. Send off mother's day card due Tuesday 17 March
10. Confirm Oz schedule and book flights
11. Book travel and accommodation for Brighton, figure out what to do there
12. Confirm plans to go to Essex for Easter

current mood: busy
current music: Mom on phone

(break out of jail)

Thursday, March 12th, 2009
5:15 pm
I want to tell all of you everything but it's hard when I can't talk face-to-face and it'll take an hour to explain everything without giving anyone the wrong impression.

I did not imagine this year to be like this, let's just say, and it's beyond my wildest dreams.

current mood: confused
current music: Universally Speaking ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers

(2 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Monday, February 16th, 2009
11:26 am
The exam that I just had? Fail. Made of pure fail. Bah.

Germany this week. I'll update when I get back. :)

(break out of jail)

Monday, February 2nd, 2009
11:19 am
Tests are CANCELLED because of the four inches of snow that have already settled! And it's supposed to snow throughout today... until tonight. Hopefully the snow continues up to tomorrow. :)

On the sad side, while I love snow to bits, all that studying is for waste. Fuck's sake.

I'm going to shower now (I woke up two hours early!) and go make a giant snowman with three layers of clothing on my hands.

(1 prison bitch |break out of jail)

3:38 am
I just realised that the anatomy viva tutorial that I have tomorrow - which I thought was a mock-test - is actually a proper formative assessment that is conducted tutorial-style by a tutor. Like all the tests that we will have up until the main end-of-years, the results won't count for diddlysquat, but I will kill myself if I don't get an A. Yes, I know, I'm hard on myself, but still. I am so, so glad that I spent this entire weekend going through my dissection notes and filling in all the questions and drawing all the diagrams. Hopefully the information will mostly stay in my head and I'll be not as unlucky as I usually am where the only questions the tutor asks me are the ones I don't know and he/she'll ask the questions I do know to everyone else in my group.

I'm awake at 3.40am on the night/morning before aforementioned test because it's at 2pm. Thank god.

I also think I'm going to do really, really badly for my tests in two weeks. It's everything we've learned so far and I'm still stuck on last week's lectures. I haven't even gone through what we've done in our last two modules. Work is so fucking hard.

But then I listen to what my friends say and I'm glad, because unlike them I know that I'm committed to doing this for six years, and I know I fucking love my course and I can't imagine exchanging this for anything else. So working hard, while a pain in the arse and a major sacrifice for going out with my friends or watching hours of television, is actually worth it in the end and gives me this major feeling of satisfaction.

Now, as long as I ace tomorrow, I'll be fine and won't suffer a mental breakdown a la a classic Singaporean. Will edit this tomorrow when I find out my results... if I find out tomorrow.

(Psst, Ritika, I just watched the Scrubs episode where Ben died!!!)

current mood: worried
current music: Everything's Not Lost ~ Coldplay

(break out of jail)

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
10:43 pm
Guess who's back in Singapore and didn't fucking bring her SIM card? For fuck's sake. I'll pick up a SIM card tomorrow and put up my number on Facebook.

In the mean time, why the fuck is no one online? I'm going to be jetlaaaaaaaaaagged.

(I so have to buy speakers back.)

current mood: hot
current music: X&Y ~ Coldplay

(3 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Sunday, December 14th, 2008
5:38 am

I'm halfway between home and here... but I don't know which is home anymore. I'm obviously looking forward to seeing each and every one of you guys, and when I start thinking about missing you I miss you more desperately and painfully. I'm looking forward to wiping out my savings by doing some massive shopping during sales - I'm only bringing four shirts back and I don't have clothes at home! Downsizing much? But when you're forced to be with people for twelve consecutive weeks, day in and day out, every day and every night, through the alcoholic hazes and clear skies, especially when you don't have anyone else... you bond well fast. And I'll miss London and how fucking gorgeous it is. And I'll miss my independence and my life here. It seems so different yet the same.

I wonder if everything that has changed about me - if all the bits that I've lost to people, and all the bits that I've gained to fill myself back - I wonder if all of it will remain the same - will remain changed - when I touch down.

I hope it does.

(It's 5.41am on a Sunday morning and I have two more nights sleep to go before I'll be fidgeting on a plane. I think I'm going home, except that when leave home, I think I'll be going home too.)

current mood: tired

(1 prison bitch |break out of jail)

Thursday, December 4th, 2008
1:14 pm
Peoples! You guys have until Wednesday my time (which is also Wednesday your time, but actually when I say Wednesday my time I mean the end of Tuesday which is for you 8am on Wednesday where practically no one will be up unless you have an exam so it's also the end of Tuesday for you) to tell me WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BUY FOR YOU FROM THIS COUNTRY. Food? Clothes? Special "Mind The Gap" tees or fridge magnets of Big Ben?

Clock's a-ticking. The sooner you tell me, the more likely you get it! I have 40kg of baggage allowance, and 10kg of clothing/stuff so I have 30kg of things to buy you people. Go ker-ray-zee.

(I is going to make pecan pie and sweet-and-sour now. Cacklecacklecackle.)

(I honestly should start taking photos of my food again.)

current mood: chipper

(6 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Friday, November 28th, 2008
2:15 pm
I have to leave my house in 7 minutes to sit for my final exam of the year. It doesn't count for my finals, and it's really more of an end-of-module-test but I'm Singaporean and allowed to worry slightly about all my tests and exams. I'm worried that I will forget things I've learnt, or mix up names of bacteria and antibiotics and antivirals. I'm worried that I'll get questions wrong simply because I haven't read through all my notes yet (amazing study technique, eh?) and I'm not doing anything about it because I have seven six minutes left and I don't want to cram in anything. I'm worried that I won't be able to finish it on time, or that my pencil will break and I'll be fucked.

But mostly, I'm trying to just forget that I haven't studied enough (can you ever study enough?), or that I was stupid enough to forget to ask my senior for last year's paper (since questions are mostly repeated), and that I'm worried. Deep breathe, Sindhu. Calm. In an hour and fifteen minutes, I'll be done. And then I'll have a two days of mindless cleaning and watching TV, and two weeks of hard work and shopping and worrying about money, and then I'll have three weeks of jam tarts and dim sum and PS2 and friends that I sorely, sorely miss.

So how's your life been going?

current mood: okay
current music: Rain

(2 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008
8:02 pm
After two months - nine weeks - I finally feel homesick. It's the culmination of mouldy jam tarts that I was looking forward to forever but I had to throw away because, well, MOULDY, and subpar dimsum that was, well, subpar. Also, my amazing inability to make chocolate cake - I should honestly wave the white flag now, and after this Saturday, I will. (I will try again, though. Probably. Maybe. Eep.) And, that I'm sick. And feeling like shit because I'm a horrible student (and I missed five of my nine lessons this week!), and not confident about my ability to do well in my exam.

Oh god, I'm rambling. Just know, people, I feel like crap and I want to come home and curl up in my room in Eskimo (which I can't, cause guess what, Eskimo is not coming home! Eskimo is right now in a protective cover because he's shedding feathers and I HATE quilt covers cause I can't FEEL Eskimo.)

Rambling again. Shutting up now. If you took ANYTHING away from this, take this one thing:

The chocolate cake has won!

current mood: crappy

(5 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Saturday, October 25th, 2008
4:12 pm
It's been more than a month since I updated, and it doesn't even feel like the month has even passed. Time seems to be on overdrive now, mocking me by zooming by faster than it should be at a time where I'm feeling horribly content with the world. There are so many problems that I could conceivably pick out - the dramatically reduced lack of contact with my friends from Singapore, for one, or how Singaporeans don't really speak British English, or how I hate my roommate and want to slam her face against the table and watch her brains splatter across the wall - but even despite all of these and more, I'm content. I'm happy with life. I have a major exam coming up on Tuesday, but I'm not feeling stressed. A little overwhelmed, yes, and worried that I won't be able to make it, yes, but not unhappy. I can do what I want, when I want, and the original fear that the independence was too much for me is now a distant and laughable memory. I rarely miss home, I only wish my friends were here to join me in feeling this amazing, blissful state of contentment.

Oh, yes, according to all my previous rules something huge and karmic will come slamming down and disrupt my happiness - failing my exams would be an example - but I can't imagine that happening.

It's so strange to be content. It's blissful. Nirvana. I can't imagine going back and staying in my parent's house now. (But I will be, in December!)

I'll update next week. I'm planning on doing some major Diwali-based cooking (mutton! sambar! stir-fried beans!), some specific shopping, and maybe pop down to Essex to visit my family friends and their new baby and be generally disgusted by yellow puke and green poop. And then the week after everyone else has reading week (i.e. a week off school to "read") (mine is supposed to be next week; I only have my one exam on Tuesday the whole week), and I'll be all alone in my house and going to school 9 - 5 and looking desperately for pathetically-paying jobs again. And you know what? I'll be happy.

current mood: happy
current music: You Know My Name ~ Chris Cornell (in my head)

(3 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Saturday, September 20th, 2008
11:41 pm
I wish I was a character in a play who knows what is going to happen in the next page.

And I wish I was the author of the damned play so I can rewrite what has happened in the previous page.

Sometimes I can be so fucking stupid, I amaze myself with my own stupidity. Like I can spend hours days thinking back on how stupid I was. And worst of all, how my stupidity fucked things up, fucks things up, for my friends - the same friends that I consider far, far more important than my own, stupid self.

Someone, come be my puppetmaster and tell me what to do? (Except that I want to be the puppet and not the narrator - reciting stories are hard when you lack the skills to paint the right backdrop, no?)

On other news, Röyksopp is fucking brilliant. Like this song (CLICK ON THESE WORDS NOW!).

current mood: guilty
current music: Röyksopp ~ What Else Is There?

(3 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
3:43 pm

(Now to check my mail! And blurty! And livejournal! And facebook! Now I can check my own webpages online without asking my sister/Naga for it! And I can check the weather! And tube stations! WEEEEEEEEEE. I NO LONGER LAST MAN ON EARTH!)

[ETA: Have london mobile number!]

current mood: ecstatic
current music: LONDON TRAFFICS

(1 prison bitch |break out of jail)

Thursday, September 11th, 2008
10:37 pm
Well, most of my things are all packed. I just have some chargers and some toiletries left, as well as packing up my carry-on tote bag (which isn't really much packing at all, is it?). And I have to clean up and pack up my room! Unfortunately, I weighed my bags using my brand new broken down weighing scale aaand I've got one bag with all my clothes in it weighing in at around 10kg, and my other bag with everything else weighing about 33kg. Which means it'll probably weigh 35kg at the airport tomorrow and they'll be asking me to repack stuff so it'll be less than 32 kg and then I can watch on embarrassed-ly (look, Zee, I spelled that right! Didn't spell spelled right initially though, dang.) while they paste a sticker on it which says CAREFUL. TWO HOT STRONG UGGA-UGGA MEN TO CARRY THIS ONLY.

Which means that I'll have to bring a small bag to toss some shit in which means I may end up with three bags which means that I may end up waiting outside my hall with three bags in case my worst fears come true and my hall office is not open before 9 even though the chick said it would be fine if I leave Heathrow between 7 - 8am.

I am sooooo excited, dudes, srsly, I'm sure you guys have the idea. I don't really have much worries - what, period may be coming tmr? baggage may need to be repacked therefore showing the world that I am bringing Canada along? may end up waiting for my minicab driver for an hour? may end up waiting for the hall office to open? - who cares?! It's all manifesting as excitement, really. I really, really hope I can sleep today. I oughta go to bed half an hour early just in case. Maybe drink hot milk. Take sleeping pills. Have loads of hot, strenuous, orgasmic, sleep-inducing againstthewall sex.

So excited.

current mood: excited
current music: Rhiannon ~ Fleetwood Mac

(4 prison bitches |break out of jail)

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
12:37 am
I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm fucking ALIVE.

Okay, so most everyone won't know how fucking amazing it is for me to be alive. But I am. I did it! If nothing else, if I fail in every way in every part of my life there is to come, I can hold on to this amazing accomplishment of mine and know that at least, I did one amazing brilliant thing which I never thought I could do.

Let's give it up for being alive, everyone!

(Now I just have to do it for four more days. Four more days!)

current mood: chipper
current music: Kiwi ~ Maroon 5

(3 prison bitches |break out of jail)

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