Blurty for Tori Jean.

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Friday, April 22nd, 2005

Time:9:29 am.
keeping up two journals is a PITA. so in an effort to simplify, i am freely handing out the link to my other one,
feel free to comment or lurk or whatever you were doing over here.
to clarify, i am switching over pretty much exclusively to livejournal. again the link is:
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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005

Time:11:48 pm.
about 30 minutes ago i woke up. i was woken by a something that sounded like glass rattling, not the window glass, but like bottles? i leane dup on one arm to listen better, and felt the house swaying. i called toby, asked if he felt anything (riiight, he didn't feel northridge, when he lived across from berkley). i've watched the news, looked online. nothing.
except 18 miles from santa rosa.... 13 minutes ago.... 4.1 magnitude... is it me or is this just a very weird thing?
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Time:7:29 am.
i reserve the right to bitch.
i'm freezing, my nose is stuffy, i wanna take a shower but i can't because i already got merlyn up, i need to go grocery shopping which requires me to have taken a shower, however i can't until merlyn goes back down for a nap or toby gets up.
i also had a really crazy dream about the northern lights except that they weren't like any northern lights i've ever heard about or seen pictures of. it was dark purple with a lime green outline and it didn't shimmer, it pulsed, and throbbed and floated over a lake. while i was watching it and trying to take pictures for toby some one tried to attack me. fun.
his schedule has changed again, he doesn't have to be in til 4, which is standard night crew time. this makes me a little bit happier. having "dinner" at 3 is way easier to tolerate than 12. (for back info, growing up, my grama had dinner on the table at 5-5:30 every single night that she cooked, hard for me to break ingrained habits)
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005

Time:8:21 pm.
i have no idea why this is pisses me off so much. maybe its because they want to do it while my fucking husband will be over in the sandbox YET AGAIN, or maybe because i won't go without hium which excludes me, or even that they're planning it without consideration for our feelings. i don't want them to NOT go because of us, but for christs sake, have a little fucking courtesy for the people who are supposed to be your friends who DO NOT have the option of spending a couple thousand dollars on a fucking vacation, nor the ability because of a special needs child.
thanks a fucking lot.
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Time:8:29 am.
i'm cold. yes, i like it but what i'd really like to do is cuddle up to a warm body. now see, i have one upstairs, but i have to stay downstairs with the "little angel" or else he might run out the front door.
i stayed up waaaay too late playing coh last night. i have no shame in admitting it. it was fun and i don't get to talk to justin that often anymore, so that was nice. lets do that again sometime, eh? maybe not at 1 am though? lol.
i'm thinking about ordering HBO just so we can watch Carnivale. we loved the first season. i think the season is almost over now so we wouldn't have to keep it very long. see hbo has this in demand thing now, so we can go to the indemand thing and make it play all the episodes of carnivale, back to back. its very cool. :)

i need coffee.
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Thursday, April 14th, 2005

Time:9:57 pm.
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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005

Time:8:47 am.
The Fourfold Vision spread offers a progression of different ways of looking at an object, person, or situation. It is a powerful tool for gaining deeper insight into the specific subjects of other readings. The Ator Tarot is a smart and whimsical spin on Rider Waite symbolism. The clunky and adorable characters of the Ator Tarot make it the deck of choice for those seeking a refreshing approach to divination.

The card on the far right represents the object being viewed, be it an idea, relationship, or the self. Queen of Swords: The essence of air behaving as water, such as a refreshing mist: A person gifted with both keen logic and natural intuition, giving them uncanny powers of perception and insight. One who easily sees past deception and confusion to the heart of a matter, and understands both sides of any argument. The embodiment of calm, forthrightness, and wit, in the face of even the most trying circumstances.
The card second from the right represents the physical vision: how the object is seen at a base or mechanical level. The Tower, when reversed: Unexpected upheaval leading to a positive change in life. Catastrophe survived or narrowly avoided. A new lifestyle and enlightenment. May indicate a broken relationship, divorce, or failure in business or career.
The card in the middle represents the mental vision: the object personified and seen through a humanized perspective. King of Wands, when reversed: The dark essence of fire behaving as air, such as lightning: An exciting and reckless leader who inspires others to irresponsible acts. An artist whose depraved love of chaos causes him to take hold of destructive ideas and make them appealing to the masses. One who is charismatic and intimidating, using demonstrations of his own skill to dupe others into accepting responsibilities beyond their ability. A dashing and magnetic personality, appearing and disappearing with great suddenness, and leaving upheaval in his wake.
The card second from the left represents the emotional vision: how passions and values are creatively stimulated by the mental vision. Two of Pentacles (Change): Balance and harmony achieved in a time of upheaval and transformation. Taking two steps forward for every one step back. Shifting the importance of projects and priorities to keep everything on track. A change in occupation or location.
The card on the far left represents the fourfold or mystical vision: still viewing through the previous three, we now add a spiritual element, revealing unseen aspects of the object. Nine of Swords (Cruelty): Debilitating mental anguish or ill health. Being dragged down by the dishonor of others. Participation in a shameful or regrettable act. Inescapable guilt, mistrust, and doubt. May indicate a death or other catastrophic loss.
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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005

Time:9:59 am.
Love: The Devil
Touchstone: The Emperor
Career: The World

The influence of the Devil is making your feelings so intense that you're trying to dominate everyone close to you, dear Tori. But the Emperor indicates that your loved ones aren't in the mood to be manipulated today, which means there will be some strong words and refusals to compromise or make concessions. Add a little tact to your emotional energy and you'll get what you want from them! Your working day bears the hallmarks of success and personal empowerment. The World opens the doors to success while the Emperor allows you to quench your thirst for conquest! Your plans are headed for reality under the auspices of these two symbols. Your unwavering determination, intelligence and sensitivity will allow you to achieve your goals.
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Friday, April 8th, 2005

Time:9:37 pm.

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
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Thursday, April 7th, 2005

Time:8:06 pm.
this is toby's results as i knew not a one (i'm too naive, i guess)

You Have a Master Sexual Vocabulary
(8 out of 10 correct)

When it comes to sex lingo, you've got it down.

No one's going to trick you into a dirty sanchez!

How Good is Your Sexual Vocabulary?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
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Time:7:58 pm.

Your Orgasms Are 80% Great

Wow, you're like an Orgasm Olympian!

You know what it takes to rock your own world...

And you're pretty damn great at rocking your sweetie's body too

You know the secret to killer orgasms - go share the wealth!

How Good Are Your Orgasms?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
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Time:9:46 am.
Music:watching seondhand lions.
Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005

Time:12:43 pm.
Love: The Star
Touchstone: Death
Career: The Hermit

Your romantic hopes might well be shattered today, and you may be forced to seriously consider a separation. The conjunction of the card of Death and the Star often indicates an emotional crisis, and it goes without saying that this could be making you feel very downbeat today. It's difficult to give advice in these situations, but it's no good swimming against the current or trying to convince someone to stay if they have already packed their case, dear Tori. Deep down, of course, you know that with time you'll get over it. In terms of your career, all signs suggest that you need to examine certain elements of your past trajectory. Death and the Hermit are asking you to consider what aspects of your job or of the way you do your job are no longer effective, and to find the necessary steps for bringing the situation to an end. Whether your working methods are tired, you're using out of date materials, or you're persisting with ineffectual partnerships, it's up to you to work out what needs to change...
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Time:8:13 am.
Mood: frustrated.
i was on drugs or something last night when i said merlyn was doing good. oh i'm sure he's doing great at school because thats FUN, and i'm just the mean mommy monster from hell, because every morning and every night we fight about every little thing, from eating to getting dressed or undressed to taking medicine that he has been taking day and night for 2 years. and toby is never home anymore, when he is, he's fairly useless, either because we're all asleep or because he can't tear himself from the laptop, i'm tired and i'm SICK OF THIS. he punched me yesterday morning while i was getting him dressed for school. he slapped me today. i wonder if i'll be stabbed tomorrow? and do you know why he is so irate? becuase i'm making him help do these things. because i make him sit down and eat. because i want him to do these things for himself that i KNOW he can do (like take a shirt off). he hasn't finished a whole meal at home in over a week. he takes a bite out of the poptart and then he's all done. but he eats at school. i wonder how much good i'm doing him here. it can't be very much.
and now i understand what people mean when they say they are embarrassed about not being able to control their kids, when one hits you what the hell are you supposed to do? you're not supposed to smack them back, corporal punishment is now all but against the law, and when you h ave a kid like merlyn its worse. how do i make him understand how much it hurts when he does things like that? i don't think i can.
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Tuesday, April 5th, 2005

Time:9:21 pm.
i am sooo sleepy. i was sooo sleepy last night, and today.
ooh i have a new wedding ring! if i knew how to post pictures i would, but i'm a moron that way so oh well. oooh maybe i'll make an icon out of it. yeah... gimme a few minutes here.... ok done. should be my default user pic. :)
in other news... merlyn's doing well in school. toby still on crazy schedule and on duty AGAIN tomorrow. sucks. oh well. nada i can do. more lonely nights. so much fun.
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Thursday, March 31st, 2005

Time:3:20 pm.
of course if i had picked the dark side and kitchen instead of the light side and garden, this would be my star wars name: Countess Torjoh Foulmuffinpan
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Subject:how fun
Time:3:08 pm.
according to TARGET, my starwars name is Lieutenant Torjoh Fortunaleafblowus. hm.

now you try.
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Wednesday, March 30th, 2005

Time:5:17 pm.
boy am i annoyed. i post in a militarywives community and THIS is what i get? the first 6 responses were fine. the thing under the line of stars is what i'm pissed about.

Tori Jean ([info]silverajanae) wrote in [info]youngmilwives,
@ 2005-03-30 07:03:00
Previous Entry Add to memories! Edit Entry Next Entry
its 7 am.... do you know where your husband is?
i HATE duty. i haven't seen him since 6:30 am yesterday, and i haven't talked to him since 9 pm last night. most of the time i don't mind much. its a nice break (and i get to have seafood for dinner - he's allergic). however, last night was the first duty in the new house, and i haven't gotten used to the noises yet, and i dislike taking a sleeping pill only to be tossing and turning all night. i'm ranting, because i can't get a hold of him (because he forgot to charge his cell phone - again). so i'm going to sip my coffee, and pretend i know exactly whats going on (which may or may not be true). :)

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2005-03-30 15:25 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
maybe he has to do a half day at work too?? and blah if he does, that always sucks...

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2005-03-30 15:40 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
My husband told me yesterday that he will have 3rd shift duty on Saturday. Ack! He's not had overnight duty since we moved to shore duty and being alone in this house freaks me out! I'm NOT looking forward to it.

(Reply to this)

2005-03-30 16:14 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
I know what you mean. My husband's in the field and the only reason I'm not going crazy is that my brother and his kids also live here. Keeps me a little less crazy.

(Reply to this)

2005-03-30 16:23 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
actually i know he has to be at work at 4 this afternoon (btw its after 8, still not home, still no call), i'm gettin a TAD worried, only because when i don't know where he is, i get terrified that something happened, he rides a motorcycle, and on occaision i get really nervous about it if he's tired, which i know he must be.

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2005-03-30 16:52 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
mines on a boat somewhere err in the ocean somewhere I THINK ..

See I have less of a clue than you do ;)

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2005-03-30 17:20 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
lol. i know your pain. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

2005-03-30 20:12 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
It took me a few months to get used to the old house we moved into. It makes SO much noise. I hope you hear from him soon.

(Reply to this)

2005-03-30 20:35 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
he showed up at 9:30. says he *forgot* to call me. is it that difficult to pick up the phone? he went straight to bed, i got a whole 10 minutes with him. peachy. eh.

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2005-03-30 21:35 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
Hahahaha after my hubs "forgot" to call me a few times he learned.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

2005-03-30 21:39 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
I'm really not trying to be b*tchy here, so I'll leave my comment at one word..... PERSPECTIVE.

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Re: Ummm
2005-03-30 22:41 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: Ummm
2005-03-31 00:23 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
As in, keep things in perspective.

(Reply to this)(Parent) (Thread)
Re: Ummm
2005-03-31 00:28 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
this morning, worry and annoyance for and at my husband was my perspective. i was under the impression that i could rant about such things here. i apologize for apparently offending you in some way.

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Re: Ummm
2005-03-31 00:33 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
My comment has nothing to do with "offending" me. The best thing you can do for yourself is keep things in perspective. Sometimes if you can make yourself understand how much worse it could be you can appreciate and deal with what you have on your plate.

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Re: Ummm
2005-03-31 00:45 (from (link) DeleteFreezeScreen Select
wow. i'm debating whether or not this is worth getting pissed about.
i know all about perspective, thanks. my husband has been to iraq twice. my son, is autistic and mentally retarded. 3 years ago he had a surgery that saved his life, by keeping his brain from being crushed by his skull. i really don't think i need lessons on how to keep things in perspective from you, seeing as i don't know you and you don't know a damn thing about me.
maybe you weren't offended, but i sure am.

(Reply to this)(Parent)
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005

Time:4:08 pm.

(grandmother's first name + favorite snack):
Joan Goldfish

(first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant):
Hammer Chili's

(silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied):
Teej Huntington Beach

(first initial + first three letters of your last name):

(favorite animal + name of high school):
Kitten Fountain Valley

(last snack food you ate + your favorite drink):
Cheez-It Buttershots

(middle name + street where you first lived):
Jean Pointsettia

(favorite candy + favorite musicians last name):
Peanut butter cup Krause

(name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use):
James Cingular

( first 3 letters of your last name+ last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name + first 3 letters of the town you live in):
Johbin Sinpow
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:8:33 am.
oddly appropiate songs....
Theme songs of your life
by eponine
your name?
love song:brown eyed girl - van morrison
depressing song:everybody hurts - R.E.M.
party song:i wanna be bad - willa ford
what-the-hell-ever song:ladder - joan osborne
your lifefighter - christina aguilera
Quiz created with MemeGen!

i am minus a merlyn right now. i don't know how i feel about that. a little lost. empty. lonely. s'ok, i guess. i have to go to the comissary later, so i will just try to fill up the day. gah.
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Blurty for Tori Jean.

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