Jessie Bess' Blurty

Ugh
Do you ever have something really good and unexpected happen to you and then suddenly it seems to stop or leave or something and then you feel like crap and sort of stupid too? As you might have guessed, it happened to me. Yesterday and today in fact. Well, I guess I can't say I feel stupid or crappy yet. And I can't say it's stopped either, this good thing. I don't want it to, that's for sure. *sigh* It's funny though. I'm feeling kind of weird right now. It's like I have this feeling that this isn't going to go anywhere. Like it was a night of fun and flirting and that was it. And maybe that's why I don't feel so down about the possibility that it's never going to be anything more. And it was just so random. I mean, he's never shown any interest in me before. And I haven't seen him since....well it's been at least 2 weeks if not longer. So where did this come from in just one night? Did I happen to look particular cute or give off a particular vibe or what? What about me changed in the last year (or however long it's been) that makes him interested now and not then? I'm just really confused about all of this. I mean, maybe when we get back to school things will happen. And maybe they won't. Maybe he just looked at it all as innocent flirting. I don't know. It was a lot more than his usual flirting though. It wasn't like we were making out or anything but it wasn't like he was pulling my hair and running away. And I really can't believe he would do that to me when he knows I used to have feelings for him. He wouldn't...he's too good of a guy. And it blows that we didn't talk about it before he left...I wanted to but I'm a chicken and I suppose I didn't really have the opportunity to bring it up. Gaaahhhhh!!!!!! What is it with me and falling for guys in just a couple hours time? Gaaahhhhh!!!!!

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: "Ordinary Day" by Vanessa Carlton