bonnie's Blurty

guys suck.!.
0k. well here is the story. i have a boyfriend and we have been together for about 2 months. And the relationship is great. Everything i could ever ask for. He is sweet, kind, generous, and i know he means everything he says. He is perfect. BUT. 3 years ago. i saw this guy. and right then i knew i liked him. for some reason i was attracted to him. but i never did say anything to him. i never looked at him. nothing. i just kept it to myself. Well..just recently, like a week ago, we started talkin on the fone and stuff. He told me he liked me, and for some strange reason i believed him. I almost put MY relationship with my boyfriend at stake just talking to him on the fone. 0k, for 3 years i have waited for this chance to talk to him. for him to actually like me. and i thought i had it good. i thought it was true. He said he liked me. then, last nite, he says he doesn't know. wtf! just 5 minutes ago he did. then he said he does like me. again. THEN, once again...he didn't know. Well i asked him, does he know if me and him would ever DATE. not a hard question right? wrong! it took him 45 minutes to tell me " if we date, i will just end up hurting you ". Then, i busted into tears. i thought i had it in the palm of my hand. i wasted 3 years just waiting. waiting for him. but no. obviously i waited for 3 DAMN YEARS to hear THAT. just saying that will hurt me. i mean. shit. everything about him was right. his smile, his attitude, his body, everything was perfect. i mean. he is the reason i believe in love at first site. i was wrong. i was soooo wrong. i should have listened to his best friend. everything he said was right. he WAS gonna hurt me. he WAS lying. he IS an asshole. everything. it was all true. and i found that out the hard way. and the whole time i was the biggest bitch to him (his best friend). blaming him for everything. blaming him for the drama that was going on. and it wasnt even him. it was my crush.. now i know. and all i have to say is..Thank you Daniel. You are the only true friend that i have. and i appreciate everything. i love ya to death!
As for the crush...i still like him. yeah. its been that way for 3 years. i can't change my mind in 24 hours. But after all the shit that has happened. the lying and getting hurt. i realized how good i have it. i have a boyfriend that loves me with everything he has. i realized how much i DO care for him. and nothing is gonna change that. i have learned soo much shit from this. but the number one thing is " dont wait for him, let him wait for you "." you will only get hurt in the end". so true. my conclusion to this. i am gonna STAY with my boyfriend. and i hope me and him last as long as possible. Nobody is going to get in the way. But i can't wait for the day for my crush to see what he could have had. i want him to see what he is missing. That i am the only person that cares for him the way i do. And i can't wait for him to realize that. But, i'm through with it. i gave it my best. and he threw it right back at me. Well, i can't talk about this anymore, i''m already about to cry. i'll get back atcha. peaCe
bonnie** bonnie n michael ENGLE. forever and always...

Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: "Perfect"-A Simple Plan --dedicated--