| Everyone seems to be moving |
[21 Oct 2004|02:04pm] |
so I will too. I don't think I am going to write in here much anymore. I am going to write in my neglected livejournal. Talk to you kids later.
PS If any of you have a livejournal that you write in comment in mine and I will add you. Thanks. :-)
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[09 Oct 2004|09:10pm] |
Today Stef was over and she went home at about 2 to get ready for her soccer game. She said that she was going to come over right after so that we could do something (maybe with Pat). She said the game was supposed to be done at around 7. I had been working on my homework hoping that we would be able to do something (weird that I was actually looking for something to do). I even didn't take that long of a nap so I could get more homework. At like 6:30 I talked to Pat and he said that he was bored and I had told him that Stef had said that she would like to do something with both of us like go see a movie. He was bored and said that when she got here that we should call him. When 7 rolled around I just thought that her game was a little longer. I finally called her house and her mom said that Stef had wanted to go to my house until Heidi showed up. Stef didn't call or IM me to tell me that she wasn't comming over. I guess I pretty disappointed. She's going to Spain next year for school.
*sigh* I have decided that its really stupid to like Pat for many reasons: 1) he likes Stef 2)he's preppy 3)I doubt he would ever be attracted to me in any way 4) doubt he would even want to be friends with me.
I need to not be in such a bad mood all the time. I don't know why I have lately. Maybe its cuz of my lack of me time. I am always with someone either friend or family. I finally have my own room and there are always people in here. I take too many things for granted.
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[23 Sep 2004|10:58pm] |
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It really sucks when you like someone and once again they like one of your friends. It always seems to be Stef.
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| Wisconsin Chili Cookoff |
[11 Sep 2004|01:45pm] |
Today is our last day of the season on Green Lake. Lots of cleaning. In town (Green Lake) they were having the state chili cookoff and since they were going to be selling brats my dad decided that it would make a cool place to have lunch. We went over in the boat. It was really cool. Lots of the cooks had costumes on (santa was cooking North Pole Chili, there were 3 people dressed as chilis and on their backs it said Red Hot Chili Peppers, and also there were 2 guys in white suits at the Hazardous Waste Chili booth). I took some pics and maybe I will post them if I figure out how. I had some Chile Beer which was pretty weird. It tasted like normal beer at first but then it got spicy.
Well I am going to get going. Talk to you all later.
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| sorry about not updating lately |
[10 Sep 2004|04:03pm] |
Ok I have a question. How all stands for the pledge at school? Have you always had to?
Well there was this big law suit at the Silverbrook middle school, which my three younger siblings attend, because one of the students did not stand up during the pledge and his teacher told him that he had to go the office to tell the principal, Ms. Guell, that he had decided that he would not stand for the pledge. Well Ms. Guell's told him that he HAD to do it. I guess the boy went home and told his parents and they sued the school. Today they went around and told the students that if they didn't want to they didn't have to stand for it. I told this to my mom and her response was what kind of person wouldn't stand for the pledge. Thinking it was more of a rhetorical question I didn't answer and she pointed at me. I wasn't going to lie and tell her that I did stand up for it when i don't. She started accusing me of hating the US before I got a word out. She was telling me to move outa the country and flipping out in general. I didn't want to fight with her so I just walked upstairs while she was telling my dad that I was anarchist. I was standing up stairs and dad comes up there and gets close to me and says "why don't you stand for the pledge? thats just wrong, plain wrong."
Honestly I don't see what the big deal is. If someone doesn't feel that they need to stand up for it I don't think they should. This doesn't mean that I hate my country and that I would like to get out of it as soon as possible. I realize that the US is one of the best places to live right now. I just don't see a point of HAVING to stand up and listen and repeat something that we have been saying for the past 10 years of my life. They was that they have instilled the pledge for most people I doubt hardly anyone really pays attention to what they are saying. I bet there are quite a few people who do it only because its deemed as "required and approipriate".
Well thats the end of my little rant. I would love it if you would comment on it weither you disagree or agree. Thank you very much for reading my thoughts :-)
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| Sorry I haven't updated in awhile |
[01 Sep 2004|09:41pm] |
Well I got home quite a long time ago but I didn't feel like writing in here but I have been reading my friends list. I really don't want school to start tomorrow. The summer went way to fast. It seems like every year time goes faster and faster.
I had a lot of fun in Hawaii. We learned a lot of new stuff and tried lots of stuff. We were really busy and we didn't even have like one day to just relax in the hotel room. We went snokely twice which officially rocked. I haven't really done anything all the social since I got back except I went to a movie with Jeff and Jake (my little brother). We went and saw Napoleon Dynamite. It was a good movie but it didn't have much of a point.
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| *angry face* |
[09 Aug 2004|12:29am] |
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mood |
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too many to explain |
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music |
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no speakers= no music |
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So my computer decided to die. I had a million more cds to burn but I guess I am SOL cuz it won't start up. *needs to shoot something* So Adam went all crazy like on Stef cuz of things with Katie. I don't really know whats up with that. Meh not like I really care anyway. Adam seemed like he didn't give 2 shits weither I talked to him ever again or not so I told him that I would talk to him in 2 weeks and blocked him. I guess I shouldn't be so stupid about this whole situation. *sigh* My emotions seem to be running on a thin line today. I think I am going to bleed soon. Not like you guys really wanted to know that. I'm excited about escaping things including the family for a good almost 2 weeks. I don't think it could be that bad cuz it will just be the 3 of us.
I hate it that everyone likes all my friends better than me. I guess I am just a stupid jealous bitch but it really sucks. Ugh I hate emotions. I just wanna crawl up into a little ball and die. I let things bother me too much and other things that shouldn't bother me at all. I'm so tired but I just don't wan to go to bed. I wanna sit here with my head in my hands and my tears running down my cheeks. Why does being a teenager have to suck so bad? Does it really get any better when you get older? I kinda find that hard to believe.
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| Unexpected vacation |
[08 Aug 2004|09:08pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Crab-Weezer-Weezer |
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So I'm leaving wednesday for Hawaii. I just found out yesterday that I was going with Jeff and his mom on vacation. I'm so excited. As a family we would never do something like this cuz my mom is afraid of flying over the ocean. I have to go shopping for some stuff tomorrow and I'm spending the night over at Jeff's cuz we have to be at the air port at like 5 in the morning. I don't really care cuz it will be totally worth the like 11 days spent in Hawaii. Yay.
Yesterday and today weren't too exciting. Me and Stef got our nails done and I love mine. They are pretty purply pink with white stars. We ended up hanging out with Megan and we really didn't do anything special. Today we got another rat and this one's name is Mercury. So now its Mercury and Socrates. I'm going to go cuz I fucked up my space bar and its hard to type in these nails,
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| So things always end up this way |
[06 Aug 2004|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Love My Way-Assemblage 23 |
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Mom and dad finally lightened up on the whole friends using the jet skiis and ranger with Stef. She has been allowed to take out the Ranger alone for quite some time now and enjoyed it a lot. Today was the first day that she was ever allowed to drive the jet ski and it was a lot of fun playing around on them. I went to the other side of the lake to try to find the exact middle of it and we swam basically in the middle of it. We came back to the house to get sun block and I was like jello so I stayed home and read while Stef went out again. All the rest of the kids took turns on em throughout the day and were having a blast untill Stef and Jake were on em. I guess they were doing doughnuts too close and Stef ran the old one into the new one. The old one got cracked and started to take in water so Stef got on the new one and went to the house to get mom or dad to tow the other one in. When they got them both back into shore Dad noticed that the new one's turn fin was all busted up and its all scuffed up. Dad yelled at Stef and said that she is no longer allowed to drive anything of ours anymore. I guess when Jake gets back he's going to get his boater's safety thing taken away cuz he wasn't being careful enough. Katie is a very reckless driver as well. Both of them get too close to other people and things. Steph is pretty good about it. I guess Dad said that he's not going to even bother to replace the old one cuz we are just not careful enough. I didn't get yelled at all which is good cuz I actually pay attetion.
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| So here's the story... |
[04 Aug 2004|09:27pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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music |
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Somebody Loves You-Eels |
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Well you know how that I am going out with Brendan. I still don't know him all that well so I don't really like him. I don't think he's a very good boyfriend cuz 1) he doesn't get a long with my family 2) all he talks about sex and video games 3) I don't know him. I saw him for the second time today. It wasn't anything special. I was tired and just kinda cuddled with him. I bit him and punched him cuz he woudln't leave me alone.
To make matters worse there is the guy Adam. I don't really know how I like him. I know I like him as a friend but I don't know if anymore. I think I do tho. I think about him a lot. I dunno. But he just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years. He's still crazy over her but she did and still treats him like shit. I wanna punch her and I don't even know her. He's such a beautiful guy. He's very self consceince but there is no reason for him to be. He has a nice body. He kinda cubeh but I think its sexah. He's also hairy but its light hair which I also think is very attractive. So ya. I am going ot get going. buh bye kids
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[03 Aug 2004|03:22am] |
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 sad |
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music |
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Rock Hard Times-Eels |
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Have you ever cried over some else's broken heart?
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| Interesting 2 days... |
[28 Jul 2004|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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I'm Alright-Twiztid |
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Yesterday I ened up taking Mason to Richland Center (well actually Mason drove there and Matt drove back but it was my car). Where the fuck is Richland Center you ask yourself, good question. Its like an hour from Madison. About 4 hours from West Bend. It was an ok car ride. I did a lot of sleeping on the way there and back. The city had such a creepy feeling about it. Everything was just scary feeling and looking. His apartment was in the middle of a cornfield and there was no one outside at all in the city. We ate at this Chinese place. The floor was big checkered red and white tile and the walls were purple. The hallway to the bathroom was really creepy cuz of the colors and the really high ceiling. We dropped Mason off in Fond Du Lac and then went back to James and I stayed for a bit to give Matt a massage. I then went home and talked to Brendan on the phone and then went to sleep.
The whole trip was quite pointless cuz all Mason grabbed was a razor, after-shave, and a small bag of pot. He purposely left his aftershave and razor in my car last night and I didn't see him at all today. He didn't even call. Oh well I don't care too much.
Today I hung out with Brendan. I met this kid yesterday at Target. Hehe. I guess we are going out now. We just sat around watched some of the Cowboy Bebop movie and watched Jake play video games. I am so tired. So I am going to get going.
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| *punches self in face* |
[26 Jul 2004|02:20pm] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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music |
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Back Home-Yellowcard |
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Yesterday I did a lot of driving. I ended up hanging out with Matt. Steph bitched at while following me around the house before I left cuz of what a piece of shit Matt is. I wanted to turn around and punch her really hard. When I finally got to James' I took Matt to his house so he could eat and change. We sat around for awhile and I petted Mini and got drooled all over. Then we headed to Fond Du Lac to get Mason at his sister's. His niece Athena is the cutest little girl ever. She invited me to come out on their balcony where Mason and Matt where so we could play with her blocks. It was very cute. After that we drove around Fond du Lac for awhile and headed into West Bend so i could take Jeff home and pick up Katy and Megan. Stopped at McDonalds. Lots of driving. Brought Mason back to Fond Du Lac. James wasn't home to visit Katy. Drove more. Went home. Talked online. Went to sleep.
Steph really needs to get off my back. As soon I saw her this morning she started to bitch about Matt again. I told her a bunch of times its pointless fighting about this and obviously if we have fought about it as much as we have then its not going to get resolved. Maybe she's jealous that now he treats her not very good anymore and he actually still wants to hang out with me. Otherwise I don't see the reason for her getting into such a hissy over a dumb thing like this. She can hate Matt but that doesn't mean that I can't hang out with him. I got sick of fighting so I walked in here and she came in here to bitch at me some more. I just told her that I didn't want to here it but she kept bitching and kept on yelling at her that I didn't want to fight about it anymore. She got really pissed and threw one of those big plastic tape dispensers at me. It didn't hurt that bad tho. I'm just pissed that she refuses to leave it alone. I think its cuz she always has to be right and I'm not letting her ruin my and Matt's friendship. ERRRR I just wish she'd fucking learn. I want her to straighten her shit out. I want her to just LEAVE ME ALONE.
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| Water-logged...I think so. |
[25 Jul 2004|03:28am] |
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music |
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Forget It-Breaking Benjamin |
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Today was a fun filled day. I woke up at around 1 and went into the house and everyone but Dale was gone but he was fishing. Shortly after I brushed my teeth and ate some food everyone else pulled up in the pontoon boat. We all decided to go swimming and play at the neighbor's raft. Then lunch was done. Mmmm Vienna Beef hotdogs. My favorite. After lunch Katie decided that she was going to take the speed boat out. It was all the boys, Katie, and I that went. We drove around for awhile and went back to the house to get the credit card for gas. After that we goofed around for a bit and then we wanted to go swimming by the cliff and went back to get food, ask if it was ok, and I grabbed my snorkeling stuff. When we got there is was all seaweedy and rocky. We drove down to the other side of the lake and just stopped almost in the middle of the lake and decided that that was a good place to swim. It was a lof fun jumping off the boat and climbing back in. After about an hour of that RJ decided he had to poo so he just pooped right there were we were swimming. Some one said something but I didn't believe it untill I saw it floating around. It was pretty gross. Everyone was quick to get out of the water. We went back to the house, chilled untill dinner was done, then Steph took Steph, Emily, Jake, and I all tubing. It was a lot of fun. Then eveyone but Mom and Emily went for icecream so we had 12 people on the boat. Lots'o icecream.
After we got back we had book dicussion of The Picture of Dorian Gray with Mom, Dad, Chrissy and I. Jeff watched the first half an hour of Red Dragon with me and then he had to go into the house. I was a little freaked watching it in the dark alone and across the lawn from the house in my room. Oh well I'm over it now.
We're going home tomorrow. Don't really have any plans. I wanna hang out with Matt but he's taking Mason home and probably won't be back until around 6 or 7. I think I am still going to hang out with Sarah on monday cuz I guess she's comming bach cuz she straightened things out with Brad. That should be interesting. Well nothing else to write so good bye kiddies. G'night and sweet dreams.
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| County fairs are always fun |
[23 Jul 2004|08:54pm] |
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sleepy |
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music |
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Reasons-Bush |
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Yesterday I went to the Washington County Fair with all the family and lots of friends. I ended up meeing up with Katy and she liked Jeff right away. When we were walking over by the tatoo and peircing tent trailer thing we met up with this girl Sarah and we took her hostage for the rest of the night. We spent lots of money on over priced food and everyone got stamps so we didn't have to buy tickets for rides. Zipper and Freak-Out are my two favorest rides. I saw lots of people that I knew from school like Sam , Emilie, Liz, and lots o other people that I didn't say hi too. At like 9:30 everyone decided that it was time to go out to the car and get stoned. So me, Jeff, Stephi Kirsch, Stephi (my sister), Katy and Sarah all went out to my car and since only 5 people can sit in it I got nominated to sit outside. Jeff and I were the only ones that didn't smoke. After they were done with that Sarah sat my lap when we were driving her to the entrance by her mom. She looked at me and asked if I thought that anyone in the car would notice I she kissed me and I said I don't know so we made out. No one noticed at first but then after we stopped and started kissing again everyone noticed and it got really quiet. I had gotten her phone number earlier and I called her a little after noon today and she said that she's moving back to Iowa cuz she got into a kinda fight with her boyfriend or some other stuff. I don't know. I'm sad that I didn't even get to hang out with her before she left.
Today wasn't anything all that exciting. I rushed to get outa the house before 1:30 cuz we left for the lake house. Mason called my cell phone from James saying that he was visiting and because i hadn't seen him in a million years I took a detour and went to James. Steph was already there and everyone was standing outside. It was nice to see Mason, Matt, and James again. I miss them lots. I took Mason and Matt to McDonalds in Lomira. When we got back Matt and I kinda wrestled in the lawn while Stephi Kirsch was sun bathing. It was such a nice day out. It wasn't really hot but it wasn't really cold either. It was one of those days that you just wanna lay outside and enjoy life. We sat out in the lawn for quite awhile and eventually migrated inside after James, Beth, and Doug left for Madison. Steph, Steph, Mason, and Matt all left for Fond du Lac so Mason could donate plasma. So all that was left was Jeff, Rachel, John, Mellissa, and I. I don't even know where Mary disapeared off to. John left to go to Sarah's house down the road. Jason stopped by and I talked to him for awhile. When John got back I took him and Rachel home in Fond du Lac cuz its on the way to Green Lake. Now I'm just sitting here listening to music while Jeff is playing video games with the little kids.
Oh yeah I also got a new cell phone yesterday. Its a picture phone which is kinda pointless cuz there is no way that you can send them to anyone or put them online. I still like it better than my old one. Steph did a lot of bitching about hers. Oh well. I have ran out of things to say so I am going to find something to do. Ta-Ta for now kiddos.
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[23 Jul 2004|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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music |
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Float-Bush-Golden State |
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Me: Mom you're weird.
Mom: I'd rather be a weirdo than.....
Emily: a pervert
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| Fucked up family? I think so |
[22 Jul 2004|12:41am] |
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mood |
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complacent |
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music |
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Psychobabble-Frou Frou-Details |
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Emily (my 11 year old sister): Does Shadow (our dog) really smoke dog cocaine?
Me: Umm..sure.
Emily: That's why she likes grass so much. Its weed.
Earlier today she was singing about getting drunk and having lots of sex.
Oh yeah, another thing that I neglected to mention was that we saw my uncle John (mom's brother) at the concert last night. My dad spotted him at first and both my parents went down to go say hi. My mom said that she knew he was really fucked up on something cuz he didn't even recongize her untill they had walked away. When he finally realized who it was he looked up to near where we were sitting and everyone waved cuz he pointed us out to three different people.
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| Concert |
[21 Jul 2004|04:22pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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The Authority Song-Jimmy Eat World-Jimmy Eat World |
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The Eric Clapton concert yesterday was a lot of fun. The opening band was really cool. We had a suite thing/box. During the entire time we were there there was this box lady that "served" us. She wouldn't let anyone get their own drinks and she had to open them for us. She wouldn't let anyone through away their garbage either.
Eric Clapton was were Nike shoes and the back-up singer girls were wearing shirts that said Dane With Me. Ya I had fun with the binoculars. I was taking pics with my digital camera through the biniculars. Most of them are really blurry cuz I had to turn the flash off. I should try to post some of them later.
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| Nothing much |
[19 Jul 2004|03:27pm] |
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excited |
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music |
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Just the Beginning-DJ Tedness |
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Well nothing all that exciting has happened lately. On wednesday i went and picked my friend Matt from Milwaukee. That was fun except that Beth was ignoring him. He ended up spending the night at my friend Stef's house cuz her parents weren't home. On Thursday we dawdled around her house and picked up Jeff before we went to take him back to Milwaukee. After that we went to McDonalds in Jackson after getting really really lost for awhile. We didn't end up at the lake house untill a little after 11.
During the weekend nothing really exciting happened except Steph (my sister) lost her job so that now means that she can come up to the lake house every weekene now untill she finds another job. I need to find one as well. My parents made me go get gas in the pontoon boat which i had never done before and I have driven that thing like 4 times before. Since there was no other boats it was real easy to do it but the day after that when I went to go get gas there were tons of boats and they kept getting in front on me. After that Jake said "all these people must be from Illinois." I thought it was pretty funny and that those people suck and Dad could come back later and get gas.
The hammock up north is my nest. Its the best thing to lay in with my pink fuzzy blanket, a good book, and a bottle of flavored water. Its my favorite new place. Its in the shade of the 2 trees so its too much in the sun.
Well I should get going and call teh Amber so we can go to a movie hopefully and Katy is now comming as well. I'm excited about the Eric Clapton concert tomorrow. Yay hoo.
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| Why does it have to hurt so bad? |
[10 Jul 2004|11:33pm] |
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sad |
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music |
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He Took Her to a Movie-Ladytron |
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Things with me and Jeff have changed. Lately he hasn't seemed into our relationship (what we had atleast). I swear all that kid does is play video games. I don't really like playing them especially for a long period of time and watching is ok for a certain amount of time. I end up getting bored and so then I bother him. I know I get really annoying and he just tells me to get off of him. I even do it when he isn't playing games. Most of the times he just tells me not to touch him. I guess the majority of the time he's just kidding but I know it bothers him.
Last night Stef, Jeff, and I all spent the night at her house cuz her family is in North Carolina and she had to work at 8 this morning. Stef and Jeff basically played video games all night. I ended up going to Beth/James. I didn't do much but sit around and talk to the various people who were there. Almost everyone was drunk and obnoxious. Stef called my cell phone at 11:40 to bitch at me and tell me to get home. I didn't have reception so I didn't get the message untill half way home but oh well. Stef was sitting on the computer and I was kinda upset with her so I went downstairs where Jeff was still playing video games and laid down on the couch. He saw that I was upset and just asked what was wrong. I just said that I was thinking about a lot of stuff. I think he just thought i was really upset with Stef. I cried a llittle but I hid my face so I don't know if he knew or not. He didn't do anything about it. It showed that either he really didn't care too much about what I was feeling or he was afraid of my emotions.
When we all finally decided to go to sleep Jeff and I slept in the living room on two different couches. I was thinking about how we hadn't really done anything for almost a week. Not even make out. I shared this with him and he just said that he hasn't really been in the mood. It basically left as that.
Yesterday I told him that I wouldn't touch him anymore so I haven't really. Stef talked to him earlier today and I guess he thinks I am mad at him. I can understand why he would feel that way cuz I have been basically ignoring him. I am not mad at him tho, I am just spacing myself. Thats usually what I do when I know that someone I like doesn't like me the same back.
I understand that all good things must come to an end but i wish I could have lasted a bit longer. I bet I sound all cheesy and dumb. Oh well. I am doing the best I can.
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