ahhhh weather!!!   
10:50am 16/08/2003
mood: dirty
music: only happy when it rains::garbage
So the football scrimmage was cancelled due to the rain.. How great it was though!
I LOVE the rain. I've always wanted to make out in the rain. I envision myself being outside in the rain running around and getting all drenched. then coming inside to get warm and end up in a steamy, hot shower. My only chance at that sorta fizzled. Oh well, there are plenty more boys out there to try it out on :)
::so wha's a girl to do...?   
01:08am 16/08/2003
  I'm at a loss... I mean, in a way, I want to hangout, just to get to know him better. I think he's a pretty cool guy, and my friend just got caught up with all of the bad stuff about him being depressed.. She won't even talk to him... It makes me feel like a traitor tho to even be talking to him. She just thinks it's funny and all.. but i don't know how this would blow over..
The last thing i would ever want to do is sell out one of my friends... but i don't know if it'd be considered selling out.. ahh it's WAY too confusing... im not sure what to do..
What i DO KNOW for SURE is that i got AWESOME news at the doc and i'm going to go on a fucking LONG ASS run tomorrow because I CAN! Then i'm going to go to the parade with my bestest guy friend in the whole wide world :).. but for now.. i sleep to dream.. *
*the predicament....   
01:04am 16/08/2003
  So my friend was dating this guy for two years... then severed all ties.. just like *that*... no questions asked.. I hadn't talked much to her once we went to college because she only uses aim, and i didn't have it.. So there was an ATARIS show coming up and i KNEW that she would love to go.. Somehow I had her b/f on my list... so i messaged him and asked for her sn.. tried to make small talk.. asked how it was goin.. and he told me that they broke up..
So that sucks ass.. I felt like a total ass.. We start talking, and he's such a mess/wreck whatsohave you.. It makes me feel bad though because that's how i was dumped from my only serious boyfriend.. just one day out of the blue it was like.. i don't think i want you anymore or something, only not having the balls to actually say so..
And so i stopped talking to him because i didn't want to get in the middle of it all...
Out of the blue this summer he starts talking to me again.. now that sure is weird.
He says how he just got tired of being depressed and wants to change:: be more friendly and hang out with people more.. Well.. so we went for a walk.. and it was nice to just walk and talk with someone that i really know nothing about.. (not romantically nice, buti mean just to know i have another friend).. and so he hasn't seen any of my favorite horror movies *which, lets face it, is a TOTAL sin* so i said he HAD to watch them.. When i got home from the drive-in tonight, he had left me a message saying we should get together and watch them......
what a day/night.....   
12:54am 16/08/2003
mood: contemplative
music: yellowcard:: way away
So we went to the drive in tonight... and it was good except i couldn't really see the second movie from the backseat of the car.. (*nothing as glamorous as it may sound*)
Then i came home to find some pleasant messages waiting for me! :) that's always a plus.... but there's a minor predicament i've gotten myself into....
12:39am 15/08/2003
mood: stressed
music: hopesfall endeavor
so lets recap summer... I decided to get serious about running.. I put in all this fucking mileage... and i get in a car accident hanging with SCUM that i never usually would have hung out with. My collar bone is broken... that fucked up my running. it SUCKS ASS. SO for one whole month, i've been forced to sit around and do nothing. I'm one of those avid runners who needs to be out there everyday so i go nuts if i can't.... Everytime i go to the doctor, it doesn't look any better, so what's the point, right?
I mean my whole college season has gone for shit now... *ugh* it just figures.
So i'll change that tonight and decide to go for a walk.
12:35am 15/08/2003
mood: bouncy
music: from autumn to ashes: cherry kiss
I'm starting this journal for myself so that I can say things that I can't say to other people.....