last strand of hope...   
11:39pm 28/12/2003
mood: relaxed
music: Into the West - Return of the King Soundtrack

Hello again. Here's the Prologue of my latest novel I'm writing. Hope you enjoy it.


Last Strand of Hope


    The sun was bright. The sky was blue. White balls of cotton lay scattered up in the heavens. The grass was green. Tall trees guarded the edge of a sandy, clean beach. Aqua waves lapped up the shells and small life that busied themselves on the land. Every depicted a child’s crayon drawing of a happy and perfect world.

    A woman stood on the rocks, grasping her brown sandals in one hand and using the
other as a visor to block the sunlight from her view of the horizon. She had forgotten her sunglasses back at the hotel where she was staying. She didn’t mind though; the color she would have been looking through would have ruined the gorgeous scenery. She smiled; her teeth sparkled like the occasional small, washed-up pearl on the shore. Her white dress flapped in the gentle breeze. Strands of her long, chestnut brown hair lay wet on her shoulders, drying in the tropical sun.


    The woman spun around. She opened her arms and embraced a man. She smiled over
his shoulder as she wrapped her delicate hands around the man’s neck. A giggle sprang out of her mouth as the man kissed her neck. He dug his face further into her hair, not minding that it was sopping wet, and pleasurably groaned in between each kiss he gave her.

    “Jack, seriously,” Danielle giggled, slowly pulling Jack’s quenching lips away from her. “As much as I enjoy you slobbering all over me, I’d much rather see your face.”

    “Of course, love,” Jack smiled, cupping Danielle’s face with his large hands and smiling. He leaned forward until his forehead hit hers. He nuzzled her nose and giggled. “As you wish.” His hand slowly crept into Danielle’s grasp. They stepped down from the stair of rocks and strolled leisurely hand in hand on the beach. As they walked, leaving imprints in the wet sand, Danielle’s smile grew bigger and bigger. She rested her head on Jack’s sturdy shoulder and sighed.


    Jack stopped. He turned to Danielle and looked down at her so their eyes met. He smiled. “Danielle…”

    “I…” Danielle stammered. “I… I wish this moment could last forever.”

    “Me too,” Jack replied. He thrust his hands behind Danielle and pulled her in close, bringing her lips close to his. His kiss was sweet and passionate, exotic and meaningful. Each was short, but still infused with the same longing, the want to be with Danielle and share the intimate moment with her. Her body lay limp in his arms; luckily they were there to catch her. She slowly opened her mouth, her tongue inviting Jack’s in for a play. As they kissed and their
tongues entwined, Danielle couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d like to be.

    Suddenly, Jack jerked away from Danielle and started to breathe heavily. “Danielle, I… I have to stop. I can’t do this with you anymore.”

    Danielle stood, puzzled. “What… what do you mean?” She asked in a soft voice, confused.

    “I have to go. There’s no time to explain.” Jack looked at Danielle sternly before running away from her and towards the palm trees in the distance. “I’m sorry.” He yelled as he picked up the pace.

    “Wait!” Danielle cried, struggling to catch up to him. “I don’t get what you mean! Jack! Come back!”

    “I can’t!” Jack ran up the sand dunes and quickly looked back at Danielle. Tears were rolling down his face. “The reason’s too complicated. You’ll never understand.”

    “I’ll be willing to understand if you tell me what’s the problem!” Danielle screamed. She stopped and collapsed on her knees. She buried her face in her hands, gathering the tears in her cupped hands. “Jack, I love you! Why do you have to leave me?”

    There was no response. Jack had run off, leaving Danielle deserted and alone on the beach. Only nature was there to comfort her.

    Danielle looked up, her eyes pink and already exhausted from crying. Her throat was dry; it had remained parched ever since Jack’s mouth had parted from hers. Her ears ringed, beeping and echoing the last of the words Jack had spoken. You’ll never understand, it echoed, tearing Danielle’s heart bit by bit as it repeated itself. Her head ached and throbbed as Jack’s voice grew louder and louder inside of her. You’ll never understand. You’ll never understand.

    “And why the fuck won’t I understand?” Danielle screamed, enraged. “I’m not blindly in love with you, Jack Henry Kingsley! I would understand you if you fucking told me what’s wrong…” Her voice faded. Her frustration echoed in the distance, bringing Danielle to tears. Her spine weakened; she felt herself sink deeper into the sand. You’re the only one I love, Jack, she thought. She wanted to project it to the world. You’re the only one I’ll ever love.

    Slowly, Danielle stretched her arms up over her head and lay down on the sand. She ran her fingers through the softness, stroking it as if she was stroking Jack’s hair. She brushed it with the same gentle touch and love. She knew she was tricking herself into seeing that she was lying next to Jack, comforting him and holding him close; she was hallucinating, and she didn’t give a damn. Her heart was broken, confused and enraged. She didn’t know how to react to this. She didn’t even want to show a reaction. She knew if she uttered something, she would slip and make a mistake and her fear would show through.

    “Why…” Danielle wept as the tears quickly streamed down her face again. “Why… why… why?” Her voice trembled; it would have shaken an entire city if converted into the power of an earthquake. The sand beneath her became wet from her tears. She didn’t care. She didn’t want to even think about caring. Why had this happened to her? Out of all people, why did this have to happen to her and Jack?

    Danielle had met Jack in the department store where she worked at while he was on holiday. She had collided with him in the men’s shoe department as she was frantically trying to make it to her station in time for work. Luckily, Danielle wasn’t fired, but was given a warning when her boss saw her. Jack apologized and asked if he had hurt her in anyway. Her heel was broken and made it extremely hard to continue walking over to her makeup stand, so Jack bought her a new pair of heels. As they walked back towards Danielle’s counter, they started to talk. Jack was visiting from London on a pleasurable holiday. He said he needed one because of his “pain in the arse boss, who didn’t give a bloody shit about how hard his employees worked”. Later that night, the two met up again and after a few more dates before Jack had to go back, Danielle knew he was the right one. Mr. Perfect.

    It had been around nine or ten months after meeting and Jack invited Danielle to go on vacation with him to the Caribbean. He had planned for them to take a cruise and do some island hopping. Danielle, who longed to go to the Caribbean ever since she was a child, agreed to go. And here they were on the clean, uninhabited beaches that weren’t full of tourists. Then Jack had to go for reasons that she’d never understand.

    It had only been a few minutes since Jack ran off and already Danielle was missing him. She missed his gracious smile and his tender lips. She missed how his hair would move in the wind and how robust he looked as he stood in front of her. She missed the way he held her and comforted her as her keeper, the one she laid her trust in the most. She had wished he’d sooner or later pull out that special ring to symbolize their eternal love for each other…

    Danielle couldn’t stop torturing herself with her pine to be with Jack again. She knew it wasn’t possible if he had something else to do. She couldn’t force herself to be with him. If he didn’t want her, she had to respect that. But she couldn’t bare the thought of living without him.

    She got up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. She sniffed away the ones that urged to come out; she didn’t want to fall to the power of sadness. She walked over to a small pool of water and looked at her reflection. God, look at yourself, Danielle, her mind muttered as she bent down to the pool for a closer look. You’re so ugly. You’re so fat. No wonder Jack left. He doesn’t want you anymore. Face the reality. He doesn’t want to spend time with you anymore. He doesn’t love you as much as you do. He hates you. He hates you…

    “I will not let this go on!” Danielle screamed, batting the water’s surface with her angry fist. The tears started to come down again. She sat, her body and spirit crumbled and distressed, her world was starting to cave in. Her self-esteem was starting to grow a mind of its own. She didn’t wish to listen to it, but her heart was giving in. Besides, for what other reason would Jack leave her? The world was confusing as it was; she really didn’t need this.

    Danielle looked out towards the water. The sun was slowly setting beyond the horizon and the entire scenery of the beach was changing. It was going from tropical and cheerful to creepy and mysterious. The wind was starting to blow harder. Danielle didn’t budge. She didn’t want to, and neither did her will. Her white dress was starting to look grey and tattered. It was starting to show the feelings inside of her. Her happiness was torn, discolored, and disgusting.

    Suddenly, out of nowhere, rain came pouring down. “Shit!” Danielle loudly exclaimed. She scurried towards a palm tree and gripped the stump. She was getting herself caught in a tropical storm. There was no shelter at all, not even within a few minutes walk. Stranded in the mess on the beach, Danielle squinted her eyes and screamed for help. No one was coming. To her, it seemed that no one even bothered to hear her. Lightening lit up the sky. “Damn it…” Danielle muttered as she ran from tree to tree. “I’d better not get…”

    A surprise bolt of lightning came down and struck Danielle to the ground. Shrieking, she stumbled to the ground and lay still, breathless and unable to move. It was her end.


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and finally the silence...   
12:20pm 23/12/2003
mood: lethargic
music: Come on - Ben Jelen

Finally. Since Live Journal cannot accomedate my creative side, I'll have to use this. Welcome to the ramblings of me. More likely, I will use this to put up short stories and poems that I've written instead of blog in it. If you want to read my journal, you can find it at

Live Journal

In honor of the Christmas season, here's a little story I wrote for the school writing newsletter collaboration thing a ma jig...


Last Christmas Wish

    The house was silent. It was late at night. A dark candle sparkled in the darkness of a massive living room. Eighteen-year-old Amanda Green sat by the window, clutching a broken picture frame while watching the snow fall outside. A thin blanket of white already frosted the ground. As the snowflakes fell, the tears from Amanda’s face plummeted to the ground in sync with the outside weather.

    Christmas was yesterday. The once joyous occasion meant nothing to Amanda now. Early that morning before her presents were open, she received a phone call from her boyfriend’s parents with startling news. Her boyfriend, Richard, had died in a plane crash on his way back home from vacation. At first, Amanda couldn’t believe it. She was choked with confusion, frustration, anger, and shock. Her will power to celebrate Christmas with her family had disappeared. The one she had loved was gone forever.

    The memorial service was going to be next Friday. All of Amanda’s friends were going, knowing that they’d be needed in case if she breaks down. Amanda wasn’t even sure if she would go. She knew she should, but she had already cried too many tears and couldn’t bare the thought of shedding more. It would be too depressing; her friends, her family, Richard’s parents, the ones that knew him, and everyone else attending. Amanda wasn’t even sure if she could take the misery any longer. Why should I? She thought. Can anything be worse than this? Probably not.

    Amanda picked up her candle and walked to her desk. She pulled out her journal out of the corner of its drawer and flipped through its pages. The last entry was dated December 24, Christmas Eve. “All I wish for Christmas is to have Richard back with me, safe and sound from his holiday in New Zealand.” It was her Christmas wish.

    Amanda pulled out a pen as she set the picture frame and candle on the desk. She looked through the cracked glass at the photo behind it. There was her love, Richard, smiling for the camera, holding his pet boa constrictor, Ralph. She brushed her fingers up and down his face as if he was actually sitting in front of her. She bit back her tears. She took a deep breath and started to write.

    “December 26. Richard’s gone. His plane crashed in the Pacific. I miss him. And his memorial service is on Friday.”

    She looked at what she had just written. Her tears were streaming off her face like rivers, flowing down and flooding the entire room. She couldn’t help it. She had loved no other man other than Richard. The best times of her life were spent with him. How could she possibly go on life without him?

    “Who am I kidding?” Amanda wrote. “I miss him terribly. If only he were back… back with me… I need him. I want to feel his embrace, his warm and gentle kiss. I love him. I miss him so much! I cannot live much longer without him…”

    She couldn’t hold the emotions in any longer. Frustrated, she pulled open her father’s drawer beside the desk and carefully lifted up his handgun. She slowly brought the cold barrel up to her head and closed her eyes. She pulled the trigger and collapsed to the floor. Grief had taken over her willpower to live. A soft breeze blew out the candle, leaving Amanda’s body to be covered in darkness. The pages of her diary flipped back to the entry she wrote on Christmas Eve. There in her illegible handwriting was her last Christmas wish. To be with Richard. Her love. That’s all she wanted. And she got it. She had joined him in death.


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