In the City
In the city the night howls come from the drunk &dispared.
In the alleys of lost souls & lost lives,
the newspapers are not just something you read.
In the city your identity is your crisis.
In the city you are alone among people.
In the city you strive for some truth in justice.
In the city your everyday faults are your crimes.
In the city your nightmares can become your reality.
And in the city..you are trapped.
today i went to school..smoked a blunt at lunch break..came home.im still chillin..bout to go over a friends house and kill some time before i go to dinner with some other friends..
bite an apple to reach the core
your friends are dirty lil' whores
and now everyone knows im poor..lol..
itsnt life just grand..
In the seat where I sit
Breathing heavily on my neck is pressure, slowly moving about like "Central Air".
If ever I wish to extend just my finger into another seat,
A seat of success
I’m reminded quickly of how success is hurtful
No more hurtful than failure
However, failure is what I brush my teeth with in the morning.
Distressed & overwhelmed with fear,
Failure steps in & reminds me how im already apart of it,
And that I should just relax.
Drawn in by the distasteful feelings,
Paying homage to depression & enclosing myself with frustration.
Failure is among everything I am
So failure is easy, delightful, but in a emotional sense, hard.
But why change your uncomfortableness to better benefit yourself?
Who knows? You can't tell; you're always in your thoughts,
Feeling uneasy with the intensity of worry.
With the thought of people knowing/seeing, you for what you see yourself as.
Hoping they won't know you completely.
Hoping they won’t see the failure that you’ve bestowed, reluctantly upon yourself.
So, you take shorter breaths hoping they can’t smell it on you.
The rank smell of failure.
FAILURE! FAILURE! FAILURE!
Simple, hurtful, yet fitting.
It fits every curve of my humanity.
It’s in my hair
On my breath
In-between my toes
It’s so noticeable, yet you say nothing.
You just stare and pass me by.
To you I’m nothing and to failure I’m everything.
Failure stays where I lay.
It swallows me whole
Failure completes me
I cover my eyes, so it does not show
But it hangs over me as if a shadow, stalking a cloud.
Failure is never ending in my everyday routine
It moves like a disease to more unlikely survivors of the over-accomplishing world.
So it spreads.
On the seat where I sat,
Failure subsides still.
Waiting for the next victim with the realization of a “nothingness” filled future.
man, today is sooooooooooooo boring..just like every other day. im going to blow my brains out..
just kidding...so anyways..last night, well actually this morning i went to bed at 2:30 and woke up at 6:30. i work with kids on mondays. they are kindergarten- 5th grade.they are the cutest things in the world. i love working with the kids. its prolly my highlight of my day. ........................................