| I Don't Know |
[21 Jun 2003|12:29am] |
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Now: Leno
It just hit me. I feel like shit. He IMed me and was just trying to chat. "What's up?" and "How was work?". I'm not ready for that, yet. I can't just pretend like nothing happened. This kid was a huge part of my life for seven months. He's the first person I ever loved. I feel like a fucking vulnerable, stupid asshole. There's so much I wish that I could take back, and I never can.
I feel completely worthless. Like I'm not even worth the effort that it would take to make a long distance relationship work. Not even that long distance- I was supposed to visit him next weekend. I feel used. I know things would be totally different if I was still seeing him every day, and my mind immediately zones in for specific reasons as to why things would be different. I don't know. I'm probably crazy.
All I know, is that I've never felt like this before, and I never want to feel like this again.
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[21 Jun 2003|03:24pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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While You Were Out on TLC |
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Thanks to  thacrazylady for making my awesome icon.
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