Blurty for forever-undone.
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| Tuesday, January 6th, 2004 |
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leave her alone. shes just a child she was a kid her heart went wild talk about me behind my back out of the pits on to the track i'll race you for him but this i know i'll never win might as well stop on go. oh please just tell me. when do i get mine you've won him already you had me at the line. oh please oh please. let me go if you dont i'll never know how does it feel not to care i'll never know im always there. |
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| Thursday, December 11th, 2003 |
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as we fall, so far apart, i never thought of you this way, i should've known from the start i couldn't have you anyway there was this girl, i think she died she always smiled never cried they said it was suicide but i thought it wasn't true this girl who never cried but was always blue please just fake a happy face not for you, for me until you get away from this place if they could only see it happens every time and what do i have to show? if you ask to see my heart all i can say is no. they asked her "what's the matter" she just hung her head and finally one day she sighed "don't cry im already dead" thats the story of the girl that died but this girl she never cried her smile was fake, her eyes wide although, she was so dead inside when i am asked why i think she died i do not say "suicide" i say i know she died from all the tears she never cried. |
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| Wednesday, August 20th, 2003 |
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i think you are not thinking at all but not so far have i taken the fall so let me know if i have done what i was sent for and it will come the one last time i let you in again yet more it shall begin like always before i want to know how you have done and for you to think your the only one just to think of loving you makes me sick you know i do i think i know but i don't at all see i don't think i don't think |
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| Friday, July 25th, 2003 |
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now i hate you thats everyone now, thanks alot, i 'll never know how i wish i could die fade away i wish it so much almost every day suicide is not the answer but im doing it anyway you cant stop me i'm going to go away, fuck this shit about life and death to me its all a game and the worst part, is life its so lame i just want to go away, away from you all now, i just want to kill myself, but im not sure how. |
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| Thursday, July 24th, 2003 |
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there you are, there you'll be, vicious stare, look back at me, i hate your eyes, they make me shiver, your soul alone, makes me quiver, i wish you could, know how i feel, but i don't even know, if this is real, how can you know, something so sure, they say it hurts, it is so bad, it only gets worse, the more you've had, i want oyu to see, what i do, wehen i look at me, and you too, just kiss me once, to feel it for the last time, i want it so bad, i just want you for mine, let me feel it one last time, like a roller coaster ride, it will fullfill my lifebefore i go, it'll be with me, forever i'll know |
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| Tuesday, July 15th, 2003 |
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you are my father, the creator of my soul, you also are my enemy, the digger of my hole, i just want to ask, why here daddy why, and i want you to know, that it's you who makes me cry, i wish that i was dead right now, but that shouldn't bother you, i'm sure that if i was gone, you'd be happy too, i want to tell you now, that it cant get much worse, that i hide all the time, when you scream and curse, you call me awful names, and i know you think its right, i don't want to play your games, dad, i don't want to fight, please just let me go away, you said yourself that i should go, but it'll never come that day, i wish it would though, i have to write it here, on the computer screen, so that it by you, is secret and unseen, i can't say what i want to but if i could i would, i would say dad, fuck you and i would say it good. |
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003 |
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i'll say goodbye, bid you adeiu but all i want, is to stay with you, here we are, caught again, i just want, to go back then, when our love was new, and our hearts were here, but me nor you, can really hear, all that is, anything love, anything sent , from above, nothing comes, from the sky, you have the nerve, to wonder why, it went wrong, you dont know, hopefully, you can grow, and realize, you were never here, not even close, or anywhere near. |
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| Friday, June 27th, 2003 |
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i am here, no not me, here i go, just wait you'll see, i am so here, but gone away, nothing to know, nowhere to stay, still not here, i am unstill. i live in exile, out of free will, im tired of being, sick and tired, and tired of seeing, everyhitng wired, people and children, so unsuspecting, just to kill them, no ressurecting, i am not away, but gone i am, i will stay for ever, im sorry i ran. |
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| Wednesday, June 25th, 2003 |
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they say to love is to live, but i know, you took all i could give, but still i can't go, the way that i feel, when you kiss my lips, the speed i cannot heal, it's like losing all grip, i hate you for loving, myself and me too, but theres no winning, i love you, i do, when we touch i feel, like nothing is real, why are the dark things, the only ones i feel? emotion is dead, im gone away now, i wish i could come back, but im lost i don't know how, i love to hate me, i cannot understand, why you could look at me, and how you can grasp my hand, i just want you to know, what your doing is brave, but by being with me, your digging your own grave. |
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2003 |
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look at me, you'll finda girl, inside her mind, is a whole other world, she never shows it, to her friends, will theyever notice? only in the end, do you know me, not a bit, but still alone, here i sit, i know your scared, of what you see, so on second thought, DONT LOOK AT ME |
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| Saturday, June 21st, 2003 |
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today i saw the strangest thing, i thought it was scary, but when i took a deeper look, i realized it was me, i also thought, i could take, another day of this, but when i look back on thoughts, they are only what i wish, so much terror in my heart, so much anger still, and when i die, the end of start it will be of my own free will, i could go today, right now, but i choose to stay, i am strong , i'lll hold it out, i'll live another day. |
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i wish my life, would go away, but here i am, another day, in this place, i do not know, look at this face, where can i go? i ask so much, that isnot answered, in my dream, my thought is cancelled, alone i sit, with no one, random slit, watch it run, here i sit, bleeding for fun, i know you and i, have not known each other long, but how can you see, what i am doing, is wrong, go away, i hate you too, im looking in the mirror, i want to kill more than i ever knew. |
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| Friday, June 20th, 2003 |
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hate is nice, is also feirce, like a knife, it can peirce, everything, i am inside, when i open up, i have died, and then i see, that i hate, what i am, i cannot take, another day, of being me, so i know now, what i'll be, i'll never know how, i got to be. |
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Blurty for forever-undone.
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