| boredom |
[19 Aug 2003|01:54pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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jlo |
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im bored. its really nice out today but its too boring to lay out. so im goin tanning later haha. so i have the money for the maxima, but he hasnt responded to me about it...damn he better still be selling it to me! we'll see.
schools so soon! yay! nicole is home i guess! so i cant wait to get together w/the crew for the first time in forever! sean is comin up on the 26th and mo is on the 27th...im just too excited! i need to go shopping badly. im goin to portland with mom soon. so that means free stuff! yay!
i really hope Ryan calls me! He better! too bad he lives in NH, but just the 2 days we hung out, I think i could def get to like him a lot. he seemed more worried that i didnt want him to call me or get together than anything. i would def go down and visit him if he calls
well this has def been the worse summer of my 20 yrs of life, but oh well. this year will be the best! -Em
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| "Emmitt Goes to OUI Camp" by Emily Ward |
[17 Aug 2003|11:32pm] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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music |
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frontin |
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OUI CAMP HELL
haha so yea...it really wasnt that bad. Most of the time it was just boring. The community service was a fuckin joke. We raked a lil, pulled some weeds..,.but most of the time the janitor was busy giving the guys shit to do. The cops were so laid back, so we really had a lot of freedom. It def didnt feel like jail. Getting in that popsicle trouble made the whole thing fun and interesting. spiced things up a bit! Imagine, 10 girls almost goin to jail over a friggin popsicle!... Thank god we didnt have to in the end. Everyone there was actually really cool people. A lot of them from UMaine. This girl i recognized from Cumby was there...she was great we def got a long. We like cracked up about everything. I was actaully laughing 90% of the time I was there. The other girls were cool too...but Im thinkin after too long with them things woulda changed. There was def a lot more guys. I didnt really get a chance to talk to them all, basically just Ryan. Seriously how funny can it be. I just cannot get over that. We were thinkin like, people always ask "whats the weirdest place you've ever hooked up?" Ours will def fuckin win omg...but he is actaully a good kid. Of course that sounds HORRIBLE that I met a guy there...but he graduated UMO and stuff adn lives in NH now, not a loser or anything. I mean none of them were, just had this incident ya know? But i gave him my # and stuff so we'll see. He really was my type of guy...really cute and very very funny. I must sound like such a baddy to other people...but nah...anyway this is seriously THE last time I ever go to court. And I swear on my fucking life that I will never ever drink adn drive again. Why was I so fucking DUMB? after Johnnys accident. Makes me sick that I did that still. It will be a year ago on Friday...
Anyhow I could just go on and on and on about this experience...the people, the funny thigns that happened and all...for something so sucky, it coulda def been waaaaay worse. It seemed SO long too. It was only 48 hrs...imagine that being in real jail. wow...that will never happen.im thinkin before i do anything that will get me fucked over again.
HAHA i told you I have a way of beating the system! Lol if I married Ryan tell my kids how we met haha..damn.Ok I can't think about him, cuz I was gettin a big thing from him from the moment I saw him!
I need to call Chanpheay, get my student bill returned, contact the maxima guy...but most of all SLEEP tomm..fuckin 6 oclock wake up is a KILLAH! peace.
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| Oh yea... |
[15 Aug 2003|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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music |
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"your my obsession" |
] |
FUCKIN SEAN, HE NEVER WRITES IN HIS ANYMORE SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STALK HIM...looks like I'm gonna be ridin my bike to Houlton tommorow....
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| scAred |
[15 Aug 2003|01:00pm] |
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mood |
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TERRIFIED |
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music |
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JLO |
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Im scared im scared im scared....!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to go to this brewer thing in 3 hrs. im seriously gonna cry :( ...its pretty much jail w/o the bars. i am seriuosly gonna cry the whole time. i bet everyone is gonna be so scarey and mean :(...esp the police dudes...i dont like this one AT ALL...at least im not goin to the real jail though...ya know? PLEASE HELP ME haha.... say ur prayers for me on Sun mornin...that'll be my last day there. I am so scared for the night-time the most. Oh mercy mercy me....I want the crew! AHHHH... well at least i wont be eating so i can lose those few more lbs lol...
speaking of, I lost 2 lbs which actually shows on me. I only want to lose 3-5 more. Basically just the beer belly I acquired over the past 3 yrs. Im sure it will be back again soon though haha.
So, I can buy the maxima! :) I have to pay him part now, then the rest when my Stafford Loan comes. YAY! Sean, if you know how to drive a standard your teaching me!
Once I get back from this hell weekend, I am gonna go shopping in portland and have mom buy me a few things, get a few of my own ;)...get all new bedstuff and CLOTHES AND SHOES! that is what i will think about all weekend..NEW CAR, NEW PLACE, NEW ROOMIES, OLD FRIENDS,JOB=$$, and NEW CLOTHES! and my kittens awww.
oh yea so my white kitten, he has red tinted eyes-like some fuckin albino or something..only he has a lil grey on him and bluish-red eyes! sooo weird, but adorable!
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| what a nice day |
[13 Aug 2003|08:52pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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today was a really good day. Chanpheay got married!!!!! It was nothing really special, but some family and friends at this lil place outdoors. she looked so pretty it almost made me cry! it was so sweet. i cant wait to get pics from it. it was def really nice for such a simple little wedding. aww i love her!
next i went to the mall and got a pair of jeans, 2 skirts, a sweater, hat and belt. so that was cool. i actually have a lot for school, but mostly summer stuff so far.
next i went to meet with my landlord. hes super super nice, and i also met my other roomie who seems cool enough. ukeme is just so cool and nice!! i cant wait to move in, it should def be fun!
i hope someone buys my car, i put a sign up for it and maybe some drag racing hick will want it...
ok so that fb player that talked to me...well he said if they knew he asked me to sex him that he would never live it down and they would all shit on him so bad..well taht makes ME feel like shit. i shouldnt care, but that means they all think im like sooo bad. so of course it bothers me ya know? so i got mad over clint and hit a girl...but the thing is, they make it seem worse and make many more stories and say i slept with them all and shit. yuck 75% are fuckin ugly nasty anyway. prob its alex mostly. i hate him. god what a fuckin loser. clint at least kept his mouth shuit and didnt go on and on. but they loooove to talk and of course are SO cool cuz they are minority in maine and are good at a sport. damn. i recall most of them TRYING to fuck me and being proud if they fuckin did. oh well, at least now i know they are good for nothing!
i just want school to start and never see those losers, or those girl losers ya know? bein outta cumby sure will help. HAHA i got something back from the BITCH barbara smith sayin i can live on campus, but not in a dorm sara or clint are living. haha-ill do whatever i want fucking bitch. peace minky
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| wtf |
[12 Aug 2003|09:24pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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omg so im gettin asked for sex/being pimped by unknown football players already. great. that is too funny, after all taht shit last yr. wow...am i THAT great? haha this makes me laugh...but im not not not not NOT lettin myself fall into their little trap no way
nope, def not doin it...i sure am gonna just play them though if i can! i do not in any way shape or form want any plain ol fuck buddies, i just cant do it! which is not something to be ashamed of!
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| yesah |
[12 Aug 2003|06:56pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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hey ma remix |
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I went to see the Maxima today. yea im gettin it. even if its kinda a dumb move. thing is, the guy is leaving in a few wks and so i may need to come up w/some of the money now...thats where the big bro comes in handy :)...hopefully. SOOO looking forward to moving in my new place! yay!
haha omg so this recruit i met at the end of last yr, well sometime before i was kicked outta cumby i guess...he IM'ed me today. that was completly random. and the jungle fever begins..lol NOPE!
so it would def be good if i had a job for these next 2 wks...but i dunno, where the hell do i find a job that is only for 2 wks!?
im pretty bored. i am goin crazy stuck at home w/ no car. it is torture! at least i have my kittens haha. well, since nothin exciting is gonna happen til school starts...peace out.
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| ummmhmmmm |
[11 Aug 2003|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
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music |
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PIMP |
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what a boring day, as usual. fuck blueberrying haha. i cannnnnnt (whining)...but i gots to get the money...get rich or die tryin...hellll noooo..im not gonna die out there pickin fuckin maine blueberries haha..if bri does then ill go. thats that. im gonna be poor at the beg. of the yr, but it will pick up once checks start comin in yeeehhaaa.
yea so i did mostly nothing...i tanned outside a bit...and umm yup fun fun...chuck said i could use his bike for the year.score to the max..wasnt really lookin forward to stealing one ahha.
16 days til i move yayayayyayay! i need to go to the mall tomm and get bella a gift, and a few gifts for me too hehe..such as some beeperless jeans i found at AE lol...why am i bad? seriously...thats just me!
this slim fast diet thing= not workin..well maybe a lil bit. oh well as long as i stay this size its fine w/me.
haha clint just came online. sick. damn, dont wanna see that...but really, him and alex were such losers (esp alex daaaaamn).
not worried bout any boys this yr..and im wardin off that jungle fever i tend to catch lol.yeeeaa right.nah that shit can wait til i go to FL right?
cant wait to see all my friends AHHH...shannon,nicole,gina,linds,mo,shan c., rebekah sean yay! hmm is that all my friends? oh well im sure to meet new people too. for soem reason my mom is pissing me off. so i got into FAU and thats cool ya know? and she didnt even seem proud! wtf!?
I HAVE TO GO SEE MY MAXIMA..my hopes are liek set on buying this...but im only gonna if a garage looks at it and says its inspectable ya know? and i have to learn to drive it if i do buy it.
i wish i had gotten a job...why didnt i anyway..i feel like a loser just bein a bum..oh well tho, ima be workin 2 jobs plus school so fuck it..this is my chance to do nothin right?
well this yr is bound to be fun. i hope everyone wants to go out a lot. i LOOOOOOOOVE goin out on the wkends/any night but last yr seemed my friends werent into it. im ALL ABOUT the partyin/club...hell yea! haha im def just gonna laugh at the people who made me cry last yr. i mean damn, they arent anything special-dunno why i even cared. this yr is gonna be great for real :)! -em
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| yuck yuck yuck |
[10 Aug 2003|04:49pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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crazy in love |
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hmm well i still feel sick. i was sposed to go bbing again but when we got there we were like..."yea-no" so we left and just went to brians and slept all day. haha. well i need the money so bad so its not really funny i guess. i hate bbing and i only did it one day ahh...
im sposed to do it w/shannon tomm...hopefully she wants to still, else im def not.
well school shall start soon anyhow-thank god-although there is quiet a lot of people i would care not to see...i got reminded of that one yesterday. soccer girls. BLAHHH. and football boys.BLAHHH.sports people in general.
i just wanna buy my car, do good in school, have fun w/the ones who actually matter-and then go to florida for my junior/senior yr, then come back and graduate. yep. we shall see.
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| damn |
[08 Aug 2003|07:01pm] |
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mood |
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nauseated |
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music |
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wanksta |
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oh dear lord i feel soooo sick. i took a walk to look at this honda accord and after that im like dead. i know its the allergies cuz of the humidity. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. omg so i was lookin at my scene barbies, and they are getting even cooler lol. no seriously, this is me like freakin out excited. im sooo queer! but they have all these new outfits and theres 4 guys of it now! yay lol. not that my $ will be goin to that. u can even get a free cell when u buy 4 haha. damn talk about easily amused.i wish i didnt feel like shit, cuz for once i feel like doin something fun tonight. i ddint get to go see my car, but im gonna this weekend if the guy is home. i have like JUST enough money to buy it, insure and register it. my fuckin insurance is SKY FUCKIN HIGH now...its like 125/month or some shit. oh well...my own doing, right? i really dont know bout bbing. i think im gonna if shannon does monday, but i dunno i feel so shitty. i applied at a daycare it seems cool, real laid back...babinski is good-he may never really be able to use his leg, but his wound should clear up. damnit all.i wanna go to chanpheays but i wanna sleep more i think. i hate this weather, alot. isabellas bday is in a week...and i stil gotta get her something. i havent seen them forever! :(...looks like erin must be back to FL by now. that sucks. well i think im gonna puke for real so peace.
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| blah |
[08 Aug 2003|12:05pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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yea...umm didnt go bbing today. i dont feel good and my body hurts worse than yesterday. at this rate i wont be makin any $! damn this. i need to do it! ive got no motivation for it though. its like slave labor for gods sakes.wah. i gotta do it.
Babinski is gonna be ok! the doc said he broke his leg and gave him anti-biotics for the wound. aww yay im seriously soooo happy. i cant take anymore cats dying! i cant wait til he comes home tonight.
i think im goin to apply at yet another daycare today. then go test out the maxima. blah i feel like shit.
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| blhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
[07 Aug 2003|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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hmm..im bored. damn allergies are getting to me. thank god i didnt do bbing today. i haaaave to tommorow though wah. well i figured out i will be getting 2000+ after tuition...leaving me 1000 for whatever. yay! we are taking babinski to the vet tommorow thank god. poor lil sucker. i feel so bad for him! my kittens are all doin good. dad is being a jerk stilllllllllllllll grrr. damn, im bbing alllll wkend. sucks so bad, but i want $$$$$. and a car mostly! i really hope to get 1 of the 4 daycare jobs i applied for. wahhhh i REAWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY dont wanna bb tommorow. damn. damn damn.
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| owwwwwwchhhh |
[06 Aug 2003|06:50pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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wayne wonder |
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first day of blueberry raking. ouch. big time ouch. im in a lot of pain right now! my muscles are so sore. i did ok, but not as good as i would like. i made around 7 or 8 $/hr im not sure. im goin for a lil more tommorow, although it might be harder since im achin all over. brian did so good! im just wicked weak! but hopefully ill get better at it. i need to make money bad! like 200/wk would be good...looks like this week wont be that though! i wanna buy that car so bad, but i know i shouldnt. its prob a rip off anyway. we'll see. i feel sickkkkk. wah. i dont wanna do it tommorow! but im gonna and gonna do 3 buckets an hr. i did like 2 and 1/2 or 2 3/4 today. not too good! wah. -em
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| my babies :( |
[05 Aug 2003|05:50pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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nadie |
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2 of my kittens died :(... i tried to save them both. i got kitten formula and a lil bottle at the vets, but they just didnt make it. i guess they were too small and weak. it was SOOO sad. it made me cry! they couldnt even swallow when i put the formula in the throats. and their lil paws were so cold. omg it is too sad. i cant even imagine losing a real baby if that was that sad :(...
i went to get my car estimated, yea- no. 2000 bucks fuck that! so im selling it for 300. haha id be happy w/ that. i am gonna buy this old maxima i think. hopefully for 1000.
blueberrying starts tommorow. im gonna be so tired. but ive gotta get money so bad. to buy this car! i was gonna go to brians, but i guess i cant get there.
Babinski came home! hes been gone a week. he has a huge scrape and its so sad. what a bad day for my cats. hes gonna be okay. but poor thing was out there w/o food for so long!
So...car,computer and 2 months rent...that is what i need to pay for...so like 2000 or more...shit. it will work out! -em
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| im so happy! |
[03 Aug 2003|09:19pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
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music |
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stagga lee |
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i am in the best mood that ive ever been in! im soooo happy w/ everything right now, its unbelievable. im gonna have a good, problem free year for sure! me and brian and shannon are gonna start bb raking on wed or so...and if it goes good i might be able to pay off most of the fines! that means i can get my car fixed/buy a new one! yay!
well first i have to call the DMV...which might bring my mood down, cuz who knows whats goin on w/ that crap. but if i could get a temp license then id have my real one back around november anyhow. fuck it. its all good and it shall all work out! ill give it about a month that im car-less.
so im gonna apply at 2 child care places as well, and def work at the bug place.
omg yea my cat had kittens! 4 so far! one is all pure white. what should i name it? honkey? lol
hmm...ummm so i think my mom is gonna buy me stuff...like clothes, room stuff, food for back to school. yes yes yup!
i found this shirt..too funny, it says "not everything in kansas is flat" across the boobs. gotta get it. even though the BATs legacy is dead lol...nah it lives on always!
i cant wait til my financial aide shit comes, then i can def find out where all my money is goin.
looks like ill have about 500 for ANYTHING I WANT, after 2 months rent, computer...and oh yea that tuition thing haha. PSYCHED! YAY! -Em
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[02 Aug 2003|08:43pm] |
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omg i am soooo happy im like ecstatic! im like freakin out! i got the apt! ive been so worried! YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY..FINNALLY something is goin my way!~! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is soooooo great! AHHHHH :)....im sposed to be at lindsays, but i cant get hold of brian to see if he was still going to w-ville...my dad is still all pissy, he was swearing at mom which is like so rare, they never swear. he said somethin and i was like singin it into a rap song everything he said. it made him stop lol. well i gotta call john! peace
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| FUCK GUYS |
[02 Aug 2003|10:09am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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still crickets |
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oh yea...so that Dan thing def didnt work. fuckin i called him to make the arrangements and he said i couldnt go anymore cuz "him and AJ had to paint some deck or something for his mom" WHATEVER! i was gonna get there after dark so FUCK THAT ! i was pissed, cuz damn-hes the one who called ME, and asked ME to go see him...so why would he just change his mind? He def. disappoints me to much and i dont need any unecessary disappointments. so i told him i guess ill see u when school starts. and i guess i will, maybe. maybe not if hes gonna be a sketchball. just when i think ones actually"good" of course he ends up bad.
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| wtttf |
[02 Aug 2003|10:05am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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a cricket chirping |
] |
i am so bored. i woke up too early! and its such a shitty day, i should be sleeping! ahh!
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| i gots ta! |
[01 Aug 2003|09:16pm] |
ok so i HAVE TO GET THIS PLACE! it is fucking sweet ass.but...im not gonna write about it yet, cuz i dont know if i have it yet. the girl is deciding on who she wants, and it better be me-for real...like i will cry forever if not. she seems very cool too.very.
so i spent the night at brians, and got wasted of course. that was that. we are gonna blueberry together starting asap. yay!
i figured out my expenses for the year...now IF i get this place (please dear god)...i can pay for all semesters rent, a new computer, and tuition w/some left over for either getting my car fixed or utilities (why do i have a feeling it will be the first one? hehe)...then, i can start to pay off my fines with my money from work..i plan to work 2 jobs- one at teh bug place and another non-workstudy.yep-this all better work. its my last hope!
dads mad. how many times have i said that in my life.i cant stand it. mom doesnt stand up for herself so i have to do it for her. when i had to go to counseling (ugghh) she said that part of my anger/trouble behavior is from that. well yea...mad dad yelling all the time and poor lil me scared half to death for mom...i mean im sure that didnt help my emotional state. so now i just wanna fuckin kick him. the thought of how mean he is makes me violent for sure. he can be sooooo fuckin cool. like the funniest, coolest person ever...but its like he changes into a TOTALLY diff person. its so weird. i know everyone blames their parents on their problems- but 1/2 the time i think they are right... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. i just wont think about that shit. poor mom :(
at least i cant wait to go back to school!!!! omg i have to live there for real! ahh i gotta find out soon!
im gonna try to get one of those temp licenses to "drive to work and school" cuz i am "living at home" haha why do i always think i can beat the system? well in a way i usually do tehe. peace out.
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| la la LA |
[30 Jul 2003|08:34pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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camron as usual |
] |
So my day went okay. i sure had lots of energy after that 18 hour night of sleep! I applied to work at a hotel, but i doubt im gonna. id rather babysit and not get taxes taken out ya know? we'll see. i signed up for housing, but looks like there is like 100 people waiting. so fuck that sheeeeittt. i guess we'll see on that too. I found a place i would rather live anyhow. yup. me and my mom are goin on this slim fast diet. not that i need to, but hey i gotta get ready for beer-season huh!? court tommorow-not worried, but dont wanna pay anything. then dan's on fri i hope. im nervous already. then lins party. i guess nicole is gonna be home sometime this wkend. so i may see her sun. school is fast approaching. ill be super-excited once i get a place! peace out
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