Quiver, Shiver, Shake, Deliver.

05/15/03 9:02pm
Mood: annoyed
Music:OLP - Naveed.
-Continues to write in her notebook after speaking with Callie for a while.-
She's a sweet girl, I shouldn't have been so mean to her. Couldn't really help it though. She could have found something out. But sometimes... people have to find things out, right? No, no. Secrets are secrets. I think I need this therapist. I'm lying to myself. I'm not alright. I'm going to keep digging myself farther into this hole, I am. I've got to stop it before it starts. But I'm afraid. I don't know if I can get "better". Don't know if I want to. Just don't know. I'm so alone in this. But I have to make things better. It's not right.
-Quickly flips to a new page in her notebook, sketching out an extremely detailed portrait of herself looking into a puddle of water, her face contorted like a monsters. Delicately scrawls the words "I'm sorry." underneith it, tearing it out of her notebook. Wanders into the hallway and down to Callie's room, slipping it under the door, and then shuffling back into her own room to finnish unpacking.-
human behavior.

05/10/03 2:15pm
Mood: anxious
-Opens her notebook and starts to list words to describe herself.- strange. curious. funny. peculiar. clever. afraid. unique. agile. severe. sarcastic. problem. awkward. brutal. delicate. harsh. nasty. serious. tricky. gentle. lax. mellow. quiet. tender. weak. evil. insecure. intense. dependable. genuine. wicked. passionate. walking contradiction.
I know why I'm here, I'm not in denial. I know that they've got something up their sleeve. That's why I sketch them down. Everyone. Everything. They took my camera, my most prised posession. Why would they do something like that? I need it. I need it to take pictures of them. To remeber. They can't hide it for much longer, I know what they're up to. My mother's in on it too. That's why she sent me here. That has to be why.
I-I feel comfortable here. But just a little. Not much. Can't let my guard down for too long. I'm hoping they're on my side. But I can't hope too much.
Don't they have any music in this place?
-Places her notebook down on the desk, pencil next to, pushing in the chair delicately. Scoots out into the doorway looking around for any suspicious characters before running back inside and clenching her notebook to her chest. Walks back out and into the hallway, searching for the commons area.-
human behavior.

[x] bio

[x] friends

[x] hospital

[x] therapist