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Lynda's Journal
billy & i drove in to Pete's driveway right behind another car. I didn't pay attention to who was in it. wasn't any of my business. we walked up to the gate and john said "You know who that is don't ya?" Billy said "Yea it's ronnie." i didn't miss a beat. i turned and walked right up to that car and stood there while he wrote a $400 check to pete. For 2 months ronnie's not bought feed or paid anything for john's training their horse. Finally Ronnie said "Lynda - Sharon. Sharon - Lynda". we smiled and said polite hello's. i then returned up to billy and john. ronnie and sharon finally walked up to where we stood. ronnie was very quiet. didn't say much at all. I smarted off "Took ya long enough to bring some money on that nag." didn't think. it just fell outa my mouth. couldn't resist it. he made no remark.
naturally i sized sharon up ... woman to woman. she's in her early 30's. he robbed the cradle. he's 44. she fresh faced, with dimple. no what i call pretty. but "cute" , maybe. to him she would be cute anyway. she has shoulder length curly brown hair that was pulled up under one of his dirty work hats. I'm 5'1". She's may 5' tall and 4 ft around. I felt like miss america standing next to her. i know. that sounds conceited. perhaps it is an ego thing. I'm not skinny, but not "fat" either. but i could stand to lose some weight, but next to her I fell thin. I just don't know what he sees in her other than honeycomb sweet facade she put off. she's a little bitch that "thinks" she can ride. she couldn't ride a jackass. john wouldn't let her ride her horse yesterday, yet he and i had spoken earlier that day and he offered me a chance to ride it again after he worked him out first later this week. he never mentioned that opportunity to her.
I think sharon puts forth a sweet dripping facade, but is a little bitch in reality. I know that from some of the stunts she's already pulled with me ....like putting the ringback tone on his cell phone...."here's a quarter, call someone who cares." I know she did it because ronnie doesn't know how to do that stuff on his phone. i asked him once if he loved her and he hesitated before finally sayin yes. that tells me he's not ' in love' with her. he's on the rebound. period. he picked a girl he will be able to control , who won't nag him about his drinking & won't nag about his never finishing anything. and i feel she is the type that pities his selfish mother even. something i never felt for the woman. ugh. gag me with a spoon. sweet my ass. she's a little naive girl.
my mother left yesterday. i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo glad she's finally GONE! she's an oppressive individual and i end up feeling bitchy at best, morose at worst. i'm somewhere in the middle right now. i do nothing that pleases my mother. period. nothing. every compliment is a backhanded compliment. LIke " you're such a pretty girl, but you could stand to shed a few pounds." Gee thanks mom! How am i supposed to take that? "You keep a neat home." Then later bitch because i haven't swept or done dishes yet. Hell it's MY HOUSE! I'll do it when i get damn well ready! *sigh* mother. she's going to be the death of me. my nerves are shot when she's around more than a day or two. she simply cannot come stay with us again. it's just not working. she's healthy enough now and can drive herself to dialysis now that her truck is down here. i just can't do it anymore. not under her constant scrutiny and criticism.
i haven't done anything today. been too wiped out from having mother here all week. just have taken the day off to vegetate. am downloading ICQ now so i can chat. i'm so freakin tired it's rediculous.
well, that all my venting for now. i'm a bitch today. not good company for anyone. not even boomer wants to be around me. he's been in the bedroom asleep all day. hmmmmmmmm.
take care. i'll try to be in a better mood next time. TTFN
Current mood:
grumpy.