| Busted |
[09 Sep 2007|02:25pm] |
I would like to share with the world my commentary on the most important current events. This commentary is entitled "Busted," a word whose meanings totally apply to the year 2007. I mean seriously....
Welcome to the age of underage drinking and celeb DUIs! This year, Lindsay Lohan x2, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, to name the big three. And about 5000 others. Bussstedd. Just check out ANY celebrity gossip medium and you can find their organized lists. As Tori Amos has sung, aren't you people rich enough to hire a DRIVER? Well, at least we know you're stupid. My advice to these young whores stars is to DEBAUCH RESPONSIBLY.
Okay. Britney Spears. Just. What? Every time we think she's on the brink of either a) showering, b) making her comeback and/or c) wearing pants, she goes out to InsertClubHere looking like ASS. Like unbridled ASS. If I were a good blogger, and not in intense pain right now, I would post you a pretty little slideshow of the Epic Failures of Britney Spears' appearance. Everything about her screams "busted". From the unflattering cowboy boots, to the oily weave-sewn-into-hat(s), to her NOT WEARING PANTS (seriously, what is up with that?), to the fact that she has two very young children and probs shouldn't be out every night, is BUSTED. Here's to hoping her VMA performance is awesome - she needs it.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Now, I love these two. I'd go gay for Ange, and Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt. And, they're taking over the world by adopting it. But seriously, these two need a VACATION because they're sucking the hot out of each other, as first mentioned on dlisted. I agree. Oh, who am I kidding, I love how "parenty" they've become. And we kind of all know that Shiloh is the messiah.
My face. SO BUSTED. It looks like I rolled over an open highlighter in my sleep (yellow bruises). My skin , which always USED to be nice in my youth, has just become quite ugly. I don't know what happened. I used to have great skin! I considered buying toner today. Also, I'm still quite swollen and can't open my jaw enough to eat anything of substance. My pain medication ran out and I want it so bad. Motrin SUCKS. I have a mouth ulcer right on my tooth which is beginning to be more painful than my face. I can't eat or drink anything really because it irrititates it. I'm starving. I was planning on going back to school on Tuesday but dude, I can't even walk around for two hours without needing to lay down. I'm exhausted and cranky and I feel like Gregory House. It's my only consolation.
Shit, I'm so hungry. I can't type anymore.
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