| Rezzies 2007 and Looking back. |
[31 Dec 2006|11:37am] |
So it's the last day of grand old 2006, the year that seemed so far away when I first learned that the "2006" in my Clearview password was our graduation year. Though essentially I feel like I've completely wasted this year, I'll go through it and see what has happened in my life.
In January....
... I applied to Princeton. On New Years Day of 2006 I brought Princeton's essay topics to my annual Me-mom Lunch and frustratedly tried to jot down notes. That paper was crumpled up angrily, but saved. I think I wrote something like "Why am I trying" on it.
That night, the night the app was due, Princeton's server died. I was having a mini-emotional breakdown. I didn't know why I was applying.
I slept in and submitted my application the next day.
... I found that facial recognition site that matches your face to those of celebrities and used that as my prime procrastination tool for about a month.
... a nasty English midterm was due.
... All South Jersey was pissing the hell out of me. I wanted to be in Wind ensemble so badly. We had Grasswater and it was bad. At least Erika sat next to me, somehow. Since when does the Eb clarinet sit next to the 2nd clarinet section leader?
...I was dying to get into Penn, now that my application was finally submitted.
...Ryan, Mirella, and I got offered to be in ROWAN WIND ENSEMBLE for the semester.
...Kevin and I performed the famous "Are We the Chris Skalits?" Experiment. I screamed.
...I auditioned for All State and completely bombed.
...Ryan, Kim, Erika, and I performed the world premiere of "Tendered Beef" to a bunch of Brownies. It was VERY WELL RECEIVED once we managed to finish it.
...I had my penn interview and it went VERY WELL.
...I had MAJOR PROBLEMS WITH REEDS. And upgraded to a SIZE 4 VANDOREN V12!
In February...
...Ryan finally decided to challenge me. I had a mini-breakdown. It was scheduled for a day when I had a calc test, chem lab due, physics test, web D thing due, spanish quiz, and probably something else. He was absent that day thank god but when we finally did the challenge, I won by one point because of "metronomic subdivision to the 32nd note" and intepretation. It was extremely close and it could have gone either way. I lost points for stopping for no reason and starting over :-p. After the audition Tomlin got us huge cups of coffee, Ryan left to do something but didn't come back for about 15 minutes so I had to convince Tomlin that he wasn't committing suicide.
...I auditioned for Music Composition at Carnegie Mellon University, flying there for two days, missing the Senior Dance (even though it was cancelled for that day I missed it anyway). Their music building was really pretty but everyone on campus seemed really serious (little did I know that I would be the same way). Lots of people auditioning that day had auditioned at places like Juilliard and Curtis. There were a record amount of those auditioning for composition and some of the people I saw were super serious. My interview was so intimidating. I thought they didn't like me because I wasn't serious enough. I drove in a taxi for the first time and our taxi driver was HILARIOUS. Pittsburgh was interesting. Oh, and I had to sight sing. It was funny. The secretarial people also thought I was weird for opting out of the theory test when I was a prospective Composition major...:-o
...I started to sink into depression, though not nearly as badly as this semester in college.
...I first started to get interested in Music Ed, out of the blue.
...Auditioned at a MUSIC CONSERVATORY not for performance, but for something else but nevertheless I still had to be as good as everyone else who auditioned for performance. Peabody. I most likely bombed the theory test because i don't know theory; my interview went pretty well; my sight-singing test went okay; and my audition itself was actually not bad. The only thing was that I should have requested to play the tougher parts so I could actually sound like I had skill above playing musically.
...My grandmother thought she had a stroke but it was really Bell's Palsy.
...That "Must be emo" video with clearview kids was out and about and I was in it.
...I was first asked to give clarinet lessons to middle school kids, by D-lo and PT.
......as well as to hold a woodwind sectional while the Supreme Gods of Music were at All-State
...Washington Township had that Vomiting Epidemic, some of which I witnessed at a church in W.Twp.
In March....
...I was chosen, interviewed, and then was on TV for being a NJ Scholar-Athlete
...I was in Side by Side band and experienced Samuel Hazo's wacky craziness, and the Japanese song that Ryan and I just couldn't get. Man that quarter note run!!!!!! And can we not forget the "Stream of Piss" ?
...Collegeboard realized it made a billion mistakes on scoring the October SAT I tests.
...I had a concert with Side by Side AND Wind Ensemble (I never got the CD though and I'm pissed. If anyone has it, hit me up please). It made me feel really special inside. Hahaha. I got to play Ride under Sam Hazo himself. As crazy as he is, it was actually pretty cool. And, um, REDLINE.
...I heard back from American University first. I got accepted with their Presidential Scholarship.
...I had that insane warehouse Princeton CD dream! Everyone applied to princeton!
...Toothpick bridge of hell.
...Clearview WE did the annual Rowan festival and we got SECOND. Even though we had an AMAZING sight reading score, the SR score doesn't count.
...I got pre-accepted into CMU school of music for composition because my "performance was outstanding" and I still do not understand how that happened.
...Created my "Sexy" math layout for blurty
...College Band Directors National Association Festival at Montclair University. MET STEVEN BRYANT, creator of Redline who thanked us for playing his INSANE piece. Memories included being sprawled out on John Pastin's bed watching titanic with mirella and Ryan while JP sat at his desk going over scores. And Beagles.
...officially Accepted to CMU School of Music and School of Computer Science, both of which I was really happy about.
...Accepted to TCNJ
...Accepted to University of Delaware (belatedly noticing that I got into their honors program as well).
...Was waitlisted by University of Pennsylvania after a day of complete nausea on the 30th, around 5 or 6 pm.
...John Fiocco
...Got accepted to Princeton university on the 31st. Told two people outside my family. A fantastic way to end Musical March.
In April...
...4/19/06 was scribbled on the wall in some locker room, and nothing happened.
...Got "accepted" to Marymount University. They sent out that email to a lot of people by accident...man.
...I took the Calc AP practice test over spring break.
...I did April Hosting at princeton as a Pre-frosh and had severe allergies, but enjoyed it anyway.
...Almost missed senior trip. But thank god I didn't, because it was AMAZING and WONDERFUL and I loved it. The luau, making dolphin noises for trickery, the roaming Epcot with our carry-ons, the 2:06 thing or whatever that was...all good.
...I caught senioritis.
...I went to Longwood Gardens for the Best of the Class thing for ABC. One of my interview answers was sadly featured when they showed the special!
In May...
...I took the AP Calc Test and hoped for a 5. I thought I did pretty well, but I didn't think it was insanely easy (like everyone else did :) ). I enjoyed the Oregon question.
...I took the AP English test and hoped for a 3 or a 4. My allergies were so bad that it was hard to concentrate. Writing three essays in a row was really tough.
...I bought my prom dress in a color other than black and a very painful lip plumping gloss that had the staff of Sephora laughing at me.
...I mistakenly had to restore our computer and it has never been the same since.
...I had my last Spring band Concert. The night before, I orchestrated the crazy Jaren-in-the-box idea with Mirella and it went off without a hitch at the end. It's all on tape. We played a GREAT concert and I felt so good and hyper afterwards. We went to Friendly's with Tomlin after and that was hilarious.
...I went to prom, which was pretty good, then project prom, which wore the HECK out of me because the ride was so long, but Ryan and I kept everyone up on the bus by being annoying and weird. Everyone won a prize. $15 ITUNES gift card! I didn't even have an iPod. I played like 2 games at dave and busters and just sat for the rest of the night.
...I had a SHITLOAD of schoolwork. May is ALWAYS terrible for schoolwork. It will be for college, too!
In June...
...We did the boat project. We complained because it was unfair to have us do a final/researchproject/boatproject all at the same time.
...I took my final exams, physics being the last one. The would be the last test I'd ever take at Clearview.
...I photoshopped a card for Mr. Tomlin featuring him as an Apple Silhouette, with a HUGE list of "you know you're a clearview band geek when" nerdisms that he really liked. Then he took me and mirella out to eat on the last day of band. It was great.
....I claimed that I would miss the band room more than anything (I was right).
...They had Awards night at clearview. I racked up some nice $$ and a pretty plaque, and then the Byrd scholarship as well.
...We had Graduation practice. It was kind of nervewracking to memorize when and how to "lead" everyone, and to be yelled at by Mr. Neis, but I still felt good to have that kind of hand-motioning power.
...I wrote my graduation speech one or two nights before actual graduation, which was mentioned in my speech itself.
...On the last day of school us seniors danced to the band behind mr. tomlin and it was hilarious.
...I officially graduated from Clearview High School. The ceremony went very well. First had to play my very last song with the band, ran to the beginning of the line to lead everyone in pomp and circumstance, then did all the ceremonial stuff while waiting so nervously for the end, the last speech, which was mine, to drabble on and on about stuff that was totally from the heart anyway. It was video recorded. My parents cried. I didn't cry, surprisingly. When we tossed our hats it was crazy. So much hugging, relief, sadness. I have some great pictures from that night. Afterwards when I went out to eat with family, someone's grandfather at the restaurant complimented me. I felt so good for a really long time.
...I went back to school the next day to return things, get a diploma cover, and help PT. It was fun. couldn't let go...
...I had my graduation party and it was SO MUCH FUN being in the hot tub until almost midnight. I got an iPod and money! All of the graduation parties were great.
...Mr. Tomlin went on AIM, shock and awe ensued.
...I went to the shore for a week and Ally and Erika stopped by for a few days and it was a whole lot of fun. Ben came down later and we went on rides and took great pictures.
In July...
...I worked and worked.
...I went to the 4H fair and saw my cousin win 1st runner up.
...I practiced clarinet a lot, and never ran ONCE.
...I lazed away.
In August...
...I went to Chincoteague, Virginia with the Gables for a week and it was a blast. We saw poooonies and it was 90+ degrees everyday so we swam EVERY DAY. We also got bit by many many mosquitoes, and I have scars from two of those bites. But I loved it!!
...I barely updated Blurty.
...I still worked all of my odd jobs (3 of them to be exact)
...I actually went and bought lots and lots and toooo much stuff for college.
...I watched as my friends slowly left for college and I was left behind.
In September...
...I finally went to college.
....I was having a tough time dealing with not having a roommate (yeah, weird.).
...I had a normally tough time adjusting to the difference of how college classes are.
...I had an incredibly amount of feelings I'd never felt before. Loneliness. Feeling hindered.
...Kevin drunk-dialed me for the first time.
...I wrote a huge, suicidal-sarcastic email to my clearview teachers and got GREATLY varied responses, from laughter to concern.
...I joined the Princeton University BAND.
...I auditioned for and almost made Princeton Orchestra (thank god I'm not good enough, I want to have something to work up to).
...Eric and Jess visited me and Eric's cousin and we had a very very fun night out (stealing ladders, throwing sandwiches at asians), then headed HOME for the first time!
...I was basically starving myself, eating less than 800 calories a day and sometimes 200 or less.
...I went to a band party and played with toys!
In October...
...N-Body Project! (SOLAR SYSTEM CODE!)
...I started to slip, gradewise, in pretty much all of my classes
...Started clarinet lessons and had to completely change my concept of tone.
...Princeton football and band were undefeated.
...I had my first set of COLLEGE MIDTERMS. B-, C+, B-, B+.
...I embarked on my weeklong FALL BREAK. I went to clearview everyday and hung out and sort of loved it. I gave lessons and took lessons and loved that too.
...For Halloween I was a Princeton Band Member.
In November...
...My grandmother had to get quadruple bypass surgery. She's okay.
...Princeton became the Big Three Champs and shared the Ivy League Champ title with them Elis. It was amazing to be at those games, albeit mandatorily.
...Princeton had its first bonfire in 10 years, celebrating beating both Yale and Harvard, which the band performed at, and Charles Gibson came.
...I sunk into an even worse depression and sought counseling for it.
...We had our end of the year Band-quet at Charter and I got scrunchies for my "present" from the DM's (because of my hair). We had to dress in "tacky formal" and perform a show for the seniors, but apparently my tacky formal wasn't tacky enough for some people. (Blue pants, red blazer with a big flower, sandals with argyle socks...)
...I embarked on Thanksgiving Break which was way too short. Erika had a party that reminded me what it was like to have fun.
In December....
...I celebrated my birthday the weekend before the actual day and got some good presents including FINAL FANTASY XII.
...I had the worst birthday DAY of my life, consisting of locking myself in my room doing work, eating alone, and pretty much just lamenting about the last three months.
...But I got some nice birthday packages in the mail of FOOOOD.
...Work got harder; I had to request an extension for one of my CS projects because my computer broke.
...I got my first D on a test (perhaps ever), in Spanish.
...I had TWO FINAL exams before finals time even happened, and they were both difficult (CS and Spanish).
...I went home for Winter Break and it was the most wonderful gift of all...getting me away from WORK.
...My computer science prof. posted online that the Final Program was due a lot earlier than expected, forcing me to work on this impossible program over christmas.
...I went into school for Alumni Breakfast and really only talked to the people I already talk to, in addition to teachers Neis and Tomlin, and Dodd. I went on stage for the "panel discussion" and was mostly sarcastic and cynical, two of my newest college-given qualities. It was nice, though. I stayed the whole day and played in band.
...I was still pretty depressed, even out of school.
...Christmas happened and it was different. Katie wasn't there to sleep over, Ben joined us for christmas morning, Christmas lunch was held at OUR house because of my grandmother, but I got some really good things including a luggage set I later used for Jamaica.
...I was sad the days after christmas because from December 26th through New Years is the most depressing time ever.
...Arianna had her Prom Party which was fun. I danced and drank Diet Coke. 4 months into College and I have still never gotten remotely tipsy, mostly because I have no roommate (seriously). But also because I really do not like the taste of any alcoholic drink.
...I went to a club in philly for the first time and pretty much thought it was the skankiest thing ever and I'll probably never go again, but I still had fun with Eric, Jess, Abby, and Luba. Yeah.
...New Years Party happened at Jess' again. I ran around and made lots of noise. 2006 was a crazy, emotional year.
Perhaps nothing can be better than the first half of it, and perhaps nothing can be worse than the last half. I learned a lot about myself and have changed a little (probably for the worse...I'm a bit too cynical and nasty now). And I became slightly more independent. I still haven't let go of the first half of the year and I probably won't for a while. I'm like that.
When you become an amoeba in a large pond, it hurts a little. When the few things you were "good at" actually make you embarassed (grades, clarinet), and support is far far far away, it's extremely, extremely hard to adjust. I'm still working on it, but I'm still miserable, for warning's sake. I needed (need) a roommate. That's all there is to it.
And yet the first half of 2006 was nothing short of amazing for me.
It's so weird.
Rezzies coming soon.
THIS ENTRY IS TO BE CONTINUED.
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