| Christmas |
[25 Dec 2006|11:48pm] |
I did pretty well this year. This year was supposed to be scanty because of our Jamaica trip soon, but everything was still good. I'm going to list and try to remember my presents in order to avoid talking about HOW CRAZILY DEPRESSED I FEEL RIGHT NOW. Christmas nights are the worst!
Actually usually they're not that bad. Usually the toys and wrappings get layed out on the floor just opened until like january so that christmas morning feeling lingers. but because of "differences" this year the tree area was quickly cleaned up and not a wrapping can be found.
Sorbello Side:
-Final Fantasy XII Strategy Guide/Art Book (amazing)
-Jazz Clarinet book
-Weber Concerto for Clarinet/Piano
-Brahms Clarinet Quintet + recordings
-Ornaments
-Money
-two purses
-Napoleon Dynamite chapstick
-more?
Grasso Side:
-Gap gift certificate
-Money
-Book
-lots and lots of dark chocolate
-more?
Santa:
-Adobe Creative Suite CS2 Premium (my "big" gift)
-S'mores Maker
-Southampton Soccer Club scarf (okay, that was from ben)
-Boots
-a COMPLETE luggage set
-Orchestral Excerpts for Clarinet (the first toy I tried out, seriously.)
-Clarinet and Bassoon Duets
-Another clarinet concerto
-socks
-makeup
-makeup box
-lap desk
-Sketchbook and pencil set for my still lingering desire to develop my artistic ability
-book
-more, but i forget and it's all downstairs still.
My presents were mostly revolved around ART (sketchbook/creative suite) and MUSIC (all that sheet music). Nothing COMP SCI related. You know how much I would rather take a drawing class next semester than computer science? This much --> (billion). Maybe it was the difficulty of the course that has turned me off, plus the adjustment to college, but damn.
I have to keep going with it because I cannot give up so quickly. Besides, many people would be disappointed if I did. but damn.
ANYWAY, right now I'm depressed again so I barely even want to do anything!! The past three days have been uplifting. If I sat too long by myself I wanted to cry, but I was mostly surrounded by my loud italian family members or friends so I didn't cry too much. Now the post-christmas chill begins and it's sad because I'll be sad again.
That being said I couldn't fully get into the christmas spirit today because A) it was raining, B) christmas was different, C) I quite obviously have depression, and D) it's been warm for so long!
Starting soon I will have that weird guilt thing where I think my desire for certain gifts wasn't worth the price and hit myself for putting it on the list. Oh, traditions.
Oh well. I knew this time would feel like poo. After this absolute failure of a semester. I was pretty much raped mentally and emotionally. I should feel like I deserve anything but I don't. I feel like my family can't take my irritability anymoooorrre.
I need to go work now.
I miss christmas cheer!
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