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[09 Nov 2006|12:23am] |
About calling: The last few times I've tried to talk on the phone I had to stop because I would start crying. I absolutely positive HATE letting people see/hear me cry. I don't know why. It is like one of the most embarassing things for me. So I have actually sat here, with my contacts list, about to call people then deciding to save it for later when I feel better. I do still love you people, lol :-p
About PRINCETON: I am like, 70% sure that all of this is not an issue of princeton itself. Believe me, I've done soooooooooo much self analyzing over the last few days that I could probably tell you the color of my soul at this point. It's like, purplish. Some of the issues I have are princeton related, such as the stress due to workload (which is no higher than it has been before...which explains the A+'s at clearview and the B-'s here), and the completely different environment it is (no more 96% whities ya'll). In fact, I think much of the issue is that I do not have a roommate (which is princeton's fault but whatever!) which only fosters my self-isolation. Naturally as a college freshman, I am completely overwhelmed but naturally as JULIANNE, I deal poorly, VERY POORLY, with change and trying to deal with more than one thing at one time. So the transition to college is like smaller problems I've had, just 80x bigger.
The only thing is that indeed, my workload causes me to miss out on social events/band things, but once I get organized that should hopefully change. I'm going to try for thanksgiving break as a time to reorganize.
I actually would love if you could visit me; we could go shopping. Princeton is an amazing town of little shops, parlors, restaurants, and every high-end snooty shopping experience you could think of. And my campus looks like castles! I mean, damn. And the squirrels walk right up to you and say hi. They are the only things that keep me goin, yo.
I see this as an INCREDIBLE challenge to me in like a billion ways. I'm not going to give up any time soon.
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