| Don't pay attention to the basically my last 5 entries, and possibly this one. |
[04 Nov 2004|08:14pm] |
I have to do stuff every day of my vacation. WHAT GIVES? Who does stuff? A vacation should require not doing stuff at all. 'Tis my newest proclamation.
Today I attended Varsity's second round playoff game against Moorestown. It was a very exciting game, albeit in freezing cold and rain. We lost 2-1. Some of them cried their eyes out. It made me quite sad...
and ANGRY that I can't play on Saturday. I have a strong feeling that JV will lose their first game of the JV tournament on saturday against Moorestown. If they do lose...well, that last game I played will be the last game I've ever played (on account that I'm on varsity next year by default, and low-to-average players like me do not have any playing time).
This season pissed me off greatly. I am a junior. I am a junior on JV. Probably one of the oldest if not THE oldest girl on the team. I rarely start any game. If I started, it was because other girls were injured or sick.
If I sucked or was a freshman, I might understand. But I didn't suck this season. I performed about as well as every other person on the team, in the 20 minutes that I was in the game. One game, I came out, sat down, and started crying because I wanted to play so badly but I was barely given a chance compared to a lot of other girls.
Yesterday we had a practice and Teesdale rounded up all of her starters (and then some). Among the unincluded were most of the freshman, about two sophomores, and Yours Truly. I almost had an emotional breakdown. I have tried so hard and have put so much effort into this season and all I'm left with is rage and regret. I was probably one of the most aggressive, serious, focused, and well-behaved members of the JV team. I am probably overreacting. I had to expect this. I was not cut this year. No one was. And yet, we had so many players out on our team that we ended up with a normal number of players.
Joe, Tomlin, Pisani, Gardner...
I have been looking at colleges and no one offers music AND technical design unless you're Rowan. I've eliminated a lot of possibilities. I want to major in something computer-related and minor in music-general or music-theory and composition. Damn you snooty colleges and your abysmal music programs! Why do I even try!? I can fail school now and go to a decent art school and WIN in life still.
SATs on saturday. I'm only slightly nervous, because they won't be looked at as much as the new ones. But I haven't prepared...maybe I should.
Hindemith, Canzona, God, Orchestra...
Yo!
Debo!
PRACTICAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm Buli M Grasso and I approve this message.
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